Dan Arnautu

You are not alone. Most people don't know that. But most people are also not willing to take the first step and admit the fact that they don't know. You took the first step. So be proud. Although, I can't give you personalized advice unless you give me some background info on your life. Tell me: What your life situation looks like right now. relationships with other people, financially, what job do you currently have - if you have one -, what have you studied until now and why etc. What activity sparked the most joy in your life up until now Any other type of info that you think would make me understand your situation better You have to give me a lot of details because that enables me to give you a detailed answer.

My pleasure! Might do a weekly series on this. I love getting to know you guys and helping you out.

@Shin If that's your biggest struggle, you must have a pretty awesome life. Here is your high five. (*･∀･)／＼(･∀･*)

@MisterMan Read The Sedona Method and The Power of Now. The Sedona Method alone is so powerful, you probably won't need anything else. Other things you can try are visualizations, affirmations and maybe look into the EFT tapping technique. All the methods are very simple, but you have to do them dilligently in order to experience results. Every. single. day... for multiple months or even years.

@nikolay I can empathize with your situation because I was there myself three years ago. I just got into university then and I knew no one, and neither did I have common ground/things to talk about with the other students. Or at least that's what I thought. Truth is , you are gonna come across as a very sociable guy if you just ask questions that show deep interest in the other person, and then sit there and listen. Maintaining a long AND AWESOME conversation is not about finding things to say non stop, but rather making people talk about themselves (this is a thing that everybody loves to do, and they will love you for listening, because no one else does). The questions should be open ended of course. Don't ask them question that could be answered with a simple yes or no. Ask them about what's most important to them. Also, from the age of 20, ideally, the age gap between you and any other human being should not be in your mind anymore. You are already an adult, so everyone around you is now your equal, no matter their stage of development and age. Sure, you can admire them for having achieved mastery on a specific thing, or for overcoming the hardships that they went through; but, you had also gone through your own hardships, and they can still be ignorant at many things where you may be a master at. I'm the youngest guy in my college group of friends right now. Most of my colleagues are 25-27 years old and I'm 20. At first I thought that would be a problem because they would not be interested in the things that I'm interested in, but quite the contrary proved to be true. So you're gonna be fine. Book Recommendations: How to Win Friends and Influence People Thick Face, Black Heart The Power of Now The Assertiveness Workbook Video Recommendations: Search for this particular problem again on Coach Corey Wayne's Youtube channel and you will get immense value and insight on it.

@Evilwave Heddy Well, in that case, I don't really think you need something to motivate you, but rather a problem area to solve. There is definitely something that needs or can be improved in your life. Usually, passion and motivation is followed by action and not the other way around. Alternatively, go through all the books that you have already read and see what concepts you have agreed with, but haven't yet implemented in your life. For me this is the case with "The 4 agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz Also, remember that self-development is not limited to self-help. We are still ignorant about many aspects of the world. Take a world map and research specific locations, monuments, cultures for the sake of knowing about them and making you more worldly. Watch documentaries and then journal on how they should change your behavior. Read about stuff which you know you are especially ignorant about. Always hated math? Scroll through wikipedia and see what aspect of it you can like. I think you are getting the idea.

@Vipassana Browsing through this forum ain't a problem unless you make it so. Sure, if you spend 8 hours a day on it, then yea, it's a problem.

@Leo Gura Would you be willing to share what gear you use to record videos (as in the microphone you use, camera, lights etc.)? The quality of your videos is just insane right now. The image is so crisp, the color is perfect, and the audio as well.

@Psyche_92 This might be just a test from girls to see if you flinch. Put some muscle on your frame and you'll be fine.

So, I am in a podcast workshop right now and I need to find my own signature question, the one that I'm gonna use in every episode. My podcast will be a solo show for millennials about the skills, knowledge and tools that weren't given to them in school. I will receive guests from time to time and so I need a signature question. These are the ones I came up with. I appreciate any feedback and I'm open to suggestions. 1. What is one very valuable skill, piece of knowledge or tool that wasn't given to you in school? 2. What is one counterintuitive concept that helped you grow tremendously? 3. What is one very valuable skill, piece of knowledge or tool that would make someone a better _________ ? (blank filled according to the topic and the guest's domain of expertise) Thanks in advance!

@Sahil Pandit You won't see many guys in the club that know so much about this stuff that it cripples them, haha. It's not the first time I do pick-up. I just want to get deeper knowledge and get back in the gameeee. Come to Bucharest and we'll be each other's wingman.

@Nahm I think I found it. What do you think is one invaluable skill that every person should acquire by the time they turn 20 years old? A skill that would make life both easier and more fulfilling.

@Sahil Pandit I lived a monk like lifestyle for the past 3 years because I focused on personal growth and academics, so my social skills suffered because of that. Of course social skills are part of personal growth but I had other areas of focus. As I handled my health, academics, habits and partially my life purpose, in the following year I'm gonna tackle social skills, pick up and sexuality. I'm gonna work on becoming charismatic, handling any kind of conversation very well, putting myself in an abundance mindset and getting used to being assertive and going for what I want. I'm gonna play the field for a while after I finish college this semester. I will do hundreds of approaches on girls, go on dates, learn what kind of girls are out there, learn how to have amazing sex and maybe get a stable girlfriend. For all of that, I need to learn the theory on how attraction works, on self-esteem, mindset, seduction etc. , otherwise I'm gonna do many stupid mistakes. Also, this way you won't get manipulated by seducers and remain in your masculine core.

@Slade That's a good question but the guests hate it because they are asked that every goddamn time. The question should not be easily answerable with a quick google search.

Use the app Smart Audiobook Player. I do the same thing Leo does. I stop, I bookmark, I add a title, as well as notes to the bookmark when there is an important concept or if I have an insight.

@Aquarius I can feel for your situation. In order to get out of this rut, you will have to get out of your comfort zone. That means joining clubs, groups, communities and making an effort to talk to the people there. You have to BE a friend first before you can get a friend. Also, remember that you'll need to go into the situation with the mindset that you have to GIVE to the other person. If you do not genuinely enjoy being around the people that you meet and you just use them just to cure your loneliness, that will come into their radar very quickly. Your priority should be to find friends that have the same mindset and values that you do. That's what's gonna be most fulfilling. Don't pay much attention to what your mind tells you. That's just resistance kicking in. I suggest you read the book "Beginners Daygame" by Krauser. It gives you step by step exercises to start talking to people. The reality is that your mind is CREATING the barriers between you and other people. They are not actually there. You are just used to thinking that and confuse it with reality. Go to any cashier and with a smile and just ask how their day was. Just two minutes later she will be talking to you about her children, her dreams and what not. People are dying to have someone listen to them talk.

@Waves Thanks for the kind words! You can unwire a habit while putting in place another if the habit that you choose to put in place is a keystone habit. A keystone habit is a habit that causes a chain reaction and changes other habits with it as well. For example, if you start exercising, you may naturally start to avoid junk food and start go to sleep early. This technique may not work if the two habits that you are working with are totally unrelated. I strive to change one at a time. I remove or put in place one over the course of 66 days and then I move to another one. If we are talking about courses, it's ideal to finish one before you move on to the others. That's actually the trap that I fell into right now. I started more courses simultaneously because I got curious about the content in each one. Now I force myself to finish one at a time, because otherwise I get nowhere. Integration comes through practice. Once all the strategies from the course/book are put on autopilot in your life (as they become part of you), you won't have to think about them anymore (maybe only when you try to teach someone else). This frees up mental capacity to move on to another area/course/book. For example, I only needed to track what I ate for about a month... then I became like Neo in the matrix. Then I knew by just eyeballing how many calories and macros were in each food. You could put any food in front of me and I knew exactly how many calories it had and how much I could eat until I hit my daily intake. I don't have to weigh food anymore, or prevent myself from eating out. It's internalized behavior now. This applies pretty much to any other thing you want to master. You only need to apply awareness to the things you want to fix. Once they are fixed and maintain that behavior for a while, they get programmed into your subconscious and you can move your awareness elsewhere. That's how your brain prevents overwhelm.

@Rilles Practicing creativity... Yes, it can be practiced. Learning licks. Improvising. Ear training. Refining your technique.

@Sahil Pandit Multitasking does not work. It has been proven dozens of times. You can find that for yourself in the book ”The One Thing” by Gary Keller, in the chapter called something like ”Productivity Myths” and in the book ”Deep Work” by Cal Newport. I'm gonna provide you with a diagram to make it easy for you.

Looks awesome, my man!

@Joseph Maynor For me personally, I started to see an exponential growth curve by the second year of college. What growth looks like imo: unwiring bad habits and addictions instilling good habits getting clarity on your life purpose getting actual results from products getting insights about yourself (ex. you finally find out what was the reason for the lack of assertiveness in your communication style and things like that) making peace with your past detaching from outcome starting, working on, and finishing grand projects etc. How I've grown in the past 3 years: I quit video games entirely (switching to a macbook made it a lot easier though) Found a career mentor Instilled the following habits: Working out 3 times a week (for the rest of my life) Results: Cut down to 8-9% body fat and put more than 10 kg of muscle on my frame Yoga (which is actually my stretching routine, but it consists of mostly yoga asanas/poses) Current Results: no more chronic back and neck pain Meditation Still plenty of monkey mind and backlashes, but at least I've come to understand the mechanics of my mind more Had a lot of insights, most of them pretty scary as I didn't feel I was ready for them (I don't have a high tolerance to mindfucks yet) Spontaneous awakenings (some in my sleep, some at random times in the day) Two deep trips on high doses of weed (unfortunately, I tried to control the experience too much, giving me anxiety and panic attacks. I need to practice surrendering more) Spent a year in a silent retreat like setting... living alone, little work to do, very few people to socialize with. Had weeks where the only time I heard my voice was when I told the cashier what I wanted from the grocery store. Felt like I was going insane at times. Hearing my voice started to become very weird. It wasn't natural anymore. Organizing my day in time blocks Taking body measurements Mindfulness in day to day life Healthy eating and drinking (I don't binge drink anymore) Removed candy and most sweets from my diet I eat more fruits, vegetables, proteins, seeds I also track my macros Reading (at least 1 book per week) Went from not reading at all to having read over 50 books Started a common place book which is already getting pretty hefty I became a lot more socially calibrated and also learned a lot about how women think. Gonna focus on pickup next year. Made lots of new friends Deepened a few of my relationships greatly Unwired most of my assertiveness and self-esteem issues Found more clarity on my life purpose Figured out my top 10 values, top 5 strengths and much more Etc. etc. The list can get huge, but these are the essentials. As a final note though, If I am to be really honest, I do think that I've bit much more than I could chew when it comes to spirituality. It got to the point where it really started to affect my emotional stability (manifesting as existential angst, depersonalization, anxiety, fear of death, epic ego backlashes, depression, meaninglessness, inability to do simple tasks and minor PTSD after my irrensponsible trips on high doses of weed - considering that I am extremely sensitive to any kind of substance; a quarter of a dose feels like a full dose to me), school performance, productivity, ability to handle loneliness (before knowing anything about spirituality, I could sit alone happily for months on end - right now though, for some reason, I can barely resist a few days without getting into a somber mood). Before college, I was always the most stable and balanced person I could find. I had a smile on my face all day everyday. I had trust in the universe won't do me harm and had the self-confidence to handle anything life threw at me... that is... until what life threw at me was reality/life itself. When my barrier of certainty shattered, seeing things I can't unsee, my mind was flipped upside down and it made me really fearful of everything around me. I can see it's mostly my fault though. Even when knew I should have taken a step back, I always just unconsciously went back for more spiritual beating (haha) as soon as my mood and stability would improve a wee bit. I am not as humorous anymore - much less spontaneous too. I resist a lot more, surrender a lot less, take many things too seriously. Maybe it's just hardcore spiritual purification or maybe I'm just creating unnecessary suffering... who knows? I do recognize I have a huge head start in my life by doing all of the things above though. Maybe what I did to myself was good, maybe it was bad. What I know is that I'm turning only 21 years old this year and I already feel like I'm in another dimension (in both a good and a bad way) compared to all the other people around me that are just the same as they were 3-4 years ago. I can't relate to them anymore. I feel like I'm being pulled into a black hole and I miss having people I can relate to. Right now I'm trying to shift the focus to the more basic needs in my life... I want to establish my financial independence, get a girlfriend or play the field for a while because I spent almost 3 years in solitude (working on myself and figuring out what I want in life), create conscious friends, start and figure out how to go about my career... maybe travel. Once I have a these figured out, I may pursue spirituality more seriously again, but at a more comfortable pace. I'm still gonna keep a meditation and mindfulness habit though. That's about everything that I can think of right now. I'm open to any questions.

@John Iverson I use the outline method. I jot own the most important concepts, ideas and quotes, while also explaining them with further bullets if needed. If there are any exercises, I write them with another color. Same thing if I get an insight on how a particular thing I find applies into my life.

@Lynnel From how you described your situation, this book really sounds like the perfect fit for you in order to take ownership of your behavior and thought patterns. If you are willing to do the exercises diligently, I can guarantee that your transformation will be nothing short of outstanding. I was once where you are right now, so I can feel for you and that's why I can vouch for this book even more. For the best results, I suggest getting the audiobook form and playing it for 20 minutes everyday until you finish it and then doing it all over again dozens of times as a practice. This is how I did it (and how multiple successful people I follow do it) and it's cool because you can do the exercises in real time, and the voice of the author puts you the right state of mind instantly.

@Lynnel It gets no more concrete than that. Hence why it's called "PRACTICING the power of now". The book consists of only exercises of unwiring all the neurotic patterns you talk about. The way it's delivered is very secular as the info isn't tied to any school. There is also the full book "The Power of Now", but I figure you have the basic knowledge already. So just get the book above and do the exercises.

@Lynnel Pick up Practicing the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and get to work.