dzenun

I've been doing personal development work since about April of last year. Throughout this time, I've often struggled with a somewhat odd problem: I feel guilty whenever I do anything not directly related to my personal growth Although my constant desire to better myself has not directly created an improvement in my grades, It has helped to evolve my sense of self-discipline. Although this has led to general improvement in my productivity, a constant feeling of guilt that arrives when I even contemplate "relaxing" (i.e. using my gaming PC, building a Magic: the Gathering deck, anything other than what most consider work) has created a double-edged sword. Essentially, when I gain any amount of free time, I tend to use it to figure out the most efficient activity for personal growth I can do with my time; I then proceed to work on said task. I still have trouble answering this question: "Is every activity that doesn't work towards a personal development goal a waste of time?". Is this mentality that should be adopted by actualized people in order to truly live up to their potential?

As a teen who tries very hard to self-actualize, I tend to keep my lifestyle and activities rather streamlined. For example, I only watch television when it's bettering me somehow, as in a documentary. I've taken big steps to make sure I make the most of my limited time in high school by talking to professionals who can assist me in my future career. Which is also aimed at changing the world in an incredibly drastic and positive way. My question for Leo is: Should I continue my practice of super-limiting my "entertainment and relaxation"? As in, is it alright for me to watch recreational television (i.e. anime) or work on a side project of my own? Or is all entertainment and mainstream leisure to be rejected as a total waste of time?