Mal

@ProblemSolving This is what you are doing: I like porn. I like the fact that I like porn, but I feel ashamed because somebody else told me that I should not like porn (Life Coach, or wannabe on a self improvement forum) Now I'm in a pickle because I internalized the idea that porn is bad, and now I have two conflicting drives, one is to continue with the porn, one is to resist it because I was willing to buy into somebody else's meaning around porn. My advice to you: Just be aware of all this, let it all be there, and continue to do what you need to do until YOU show up and make the choice that is right for you.

@Linas Hi Linas, More nonsense. The way I see Leo is he is doing work for himself first and foremost. Now, if I had a YouTube channel, and I was willing to sift through that many sources of information on self development (which I am not!) I would publish my findings on YouTube and monetise it, for sure! That is all he is doing. He's working on himself first, feeding his own (possibly neurotic) habit for self-help material while making money out of it at the same time. That is very sound business practice, it's not enlightened, he's not an enlightened master, he's a guy just like the rest of us who is interested in ideas like this, just like some guys are into cars and football. This is obvious because his perspective is evolving and changing all the time, just like ours. He mentioned somewhere that he spend $10k on attending retreats and workshops. If I had a habit like that, and I had a gigantic youtube channel, would it not make sense to record the results of my journey on the Youtube channel if it gave me the funds to continue with my "consciousness work" habit? It's not rocket science to see that this is what is going on, is it? Look past the surface level and look at what people are first and foremost: we are self serving first, altruistic last: (when we have built our lives up to the point of satisfying our own needs and curiosity about life). This is what is happening here. Stop being so naive about Leo being either a manipulative wannabe or polarising this with the equally unenlightened perspective that he's doing this for mankind. None of this is true, he's doing it for himself and making a living out of it. Were just lucky to have someone who is willing to spend that much time and money on thinking about self development and then pass those field tested ideas onto others. This forum is just another part of that, in 100 years it will be forgotten along with you and I. At least use his techniques to begin to see the reality of what is going on around you. Thanks

@dboyle Go onto the pickup forums, read what they are about. My guess is that you will soon drop the whole idea. If not, you deserve all that's coming to you

Great advice.

Hi Popi, Just want to add some clarity here, I think it is important, Introverted is not the same as shy. Introvert IS a personality trait, an introvert can be confident and get their needs met just as well as an extrovert can. To differentiate the idea further, and just to confuse you, there is actually no such thing as an introverted or extroverted person! Introversion and extroversion are active in the same person at different times, they are responses to certain situations, preferential modes of experiencing life. For example, in my work I'm very introverted and like space to figure out things by myself. However, in a social context I'm extroverted and get a lot of satisfaction bouncing off others. Until I learned this about myself I was certainly confused as to why I seemed so paradoxical, the truth is we are more complex than we give ourselves credit for.

It is hard, at first. The way you can do this is start in your "alone" time. Pay attention to but at the same time 'ignore' thoughts, pay attention to the body and what it is doing, pay attention to your breath, get rooted in the present moment, pay attention to the life force in and around you, the space between things. The more you practice this, the easier it is to be spontaneous around others because you won't feel so distant from them. Confidence is not a manufactured thing that results from "self-esteem", confidence is your default state. "Shyness" is what the symptom of loss of present moment awareness looks like, but it is certainly not a personality trait, and it is certainly not anything to do with you. It's a shadow. And don't worry about "skills" your skills are innate, your bodymind is programmed to do the right thing at the right time in order to get your social needs met. Trust me, if you are present, everything falls into place. You will be amazed at the simplicity of all this because the need for books and outside sources of information will evaporate.

Yeah, it's simple, but the ego needs it's story so badly. Without the story, who are we?

This is incoherent

@Emilio Is shyness a personal trait? I think its a symptom personally

Read the guidelines

@governor I wouldn't like to say about trauma. Everybody is different. I'm sure if you stick with it, things will change. I'm also not sure what your goals are. I think if people are complimentary about your progress then that's a good sign surely? I don't know though, I never listen to others because they could harm me when I'm in a process of healing. Sometimes we have to get worse before better, but if we have people around us who are ignorant or scared of emotions then their opinions can cause us real harm and thwart the process. Just believe in the process and don't put any stock in others words. I also have developed a problem with really sensitive or delicate people asking advice on here. You can't help them. One has to be strong minded before they attempt to think about the ideas in a place this. I've gotten involved with weak egos before and my experience has been "patchy" at best. It's one thing to bring growing pains here, but it's another thing entirely to get involved with complex mental illnesses on a forum, it's too much, and its unrealistic to expect to be relieved from it over this medium. This is not a place for abnormal psychology anyway.

@Paan Looks like you're better off out of it. If she's that dependent she will soon find somebody else and continue with that pattern. Unless she decides for herself that enough is enough and seriously look at doing something about it, she will not be a right match for you later. I'm glad you decided to sort yourself out.

I like this. There isn't even shyness arising. Shyness is the story. All there are is physical sensations that have not been felt fully. Once they are dealt with the whole issue evaporates. The books, in my opinion, just complicate things and make the story stronger. But who am I to rob people of thousands of wasted hours reading books when they could just be sitting with the emotions and the "problem" will be solved in 4.8 seconds?

You're right. I'm sure I was coming from just "one" thought, instead of trying to hold a whole philosophy inside my head at the same time.

Just ignore what I say. Better still, block me. I'm just recording my thoughts in relation to "my" other thoughts. I'm not trying to tell you what to do. When you get to my "highly superior level" of understanding you will know where I'm coming from (in joke)

Hi Bruno, Your "ego" is just the part of you that is programming. The part of you that is an accumulation of suggestions of other influences. It's your "conditioned" mind. It is not the real part of you. The real part of you expresses itself, but in a different way from the ego. In a way that is authentic and present. Sex can be motivated by the eog, for sure. But sex can also be an expression of the real part of you. You will know the difference when you function from the real you. Again, this is something that cannot be explained (for obvious reasons) you must actually do the work and find out for yourself. SELF realization. It has to come from you, otherwise it's just more ego and suggestion.

Everything is one substance, and that substance is perfection. Yes, and even the separation is part of that substance called love. David has never experienced non duality (only has an intellectual reference point), this is glaringly obvious, the multidimensionality is included in oneness. Thanks Natasha Looking good by the way

When you notice yourself as the perfect expression of the Divine, what is there left to resist? When you see that you are love, then nothing else matters. There is nothing else to do except let the dance continue. I can't think of a greater self image than seeing the one you already have is perfect as it is. All neurosis collapses in light of this realization it HAS to, love and hate cannot survive in the same space.

@Orange Likewise Love Mal

Is not the space around you alive? It is a living being. It is the no-thing that allows YOU and me to be, as we are. Human beings spend so much time attending to the manifest object forms of this life - this, that, the other. But spend no time discovering the unmanifest, the SPACE that allows all things to be. As Charlie said it is the NON physical aspect of this life. The non physical is the creator of this life.

Hi Rashad, To answer your question, yes I think enlightenment is the way. Please check out some defining moments here:

Easy. You already are it. You just forgot. You got lost in the forms of nothingness. Listen to it. The space between breaths, the empty silence that pervades all phenomena. Don't try, just put your attention there. Where attention goes, energy flows. Spend time with the aliveness that is the nothingness, and spend less time attending to the manifest forms of nothingness. Just do it, and one day it will happen.

Here is another pointer (just a slightly different way of looking at it)... Pay attention to the room. You notice there are things in the room. Most of us pay attention to the "things"... What about the space?? Did you ever stop to consider the space? The nothingness that allows all things (including you) to BE... Ever tried to become one with that space?

@Orange It ok.. You are allowed to feel and know this my friend. And also you can just become acquainted with the space that allows all things to be as they are... Balance