Mal

@abrakamowse What on earth are you talking about? I'm a dogmatic, Buddhist, moralizing deceiver !

@zasa joey Aww. Diddums! You clearly don't take anybody's advice.

@jes Seeking is talking about finding your preferences and emotional stuff. What you seem to be doing is some kind of self-inquiry. You can define yourself by looking into your mind. Your "self" is in your mind. What will happen when you let go of that self that appears to be occupying the whole of your life right now? What else can you be if you let go of your self? What I mean by let go, is let go of attending to it anymore, this means stop pretending that this self is getting you anywhere. Seeing it for what it is. I'm attached to my "self" because I spent years developing it. It's like having to throw out something I've been nurturing my whole life, I've built a whole story around being "developed". What's your story? If you are ready, you can also do that. Find a comfortable and safe place where you won't be disturbed, and let "it" go.

I think if you use your environment as a mirror to develop your "self" it will be easier to transcend it. What I mentioned to you yesterday, I use this site to become aware of myself, as a journal. I don't ask people questions on how to solve my issues. Nobody can give me the answers to my problems. Ultimately there are no problems or answers, as I discovered very recently. Would I have discovered there are no problems if I had not taken this path? But the more you talk on here the more you can get a sense that one is looking in a mirror. I know for certain that I am not speaking directly to you, I'm only speaking to my version of you. We're taught that the world "out there" is real, and that what we are looking at is real. But how can it be real? It' just our interpretation of what is going on in our own minds. Nothing more.

@jes There is nothing beautiful about being trapped in a hall of mirrors inside one's conditioned mind. It's more of a nightmare. The quicker one wakes up from it, the better!

I wanted to die enlightened. But that was just the ego talking. Actually, I'm pretty sure that I'm already dead

LOL That made me laugh.

@jes Do you think that when you look out through your eyes that you are seeing an outside world? Think about it. How can you be seeing anything else but "your-self"?

There's no point.

This one is my favorite. Currently I've taken the technique to new levels, and have stopped meditating altogether.

@jes Hi jes, Want to know yourself? Easy. Look to your environment, what you see there is "your self"

@rrodriguez11 Three things: 1). Stop believing your imaginary fears. 2). Stop asking questions based on your imaginary fears 3). Understand that everybody is living in a simulated virtual reality in their heads based on their imaginary fears, and are always looking for other people to solve their "problems" created by their imaginary fears. That should do the trick!

@Gone You have got way too much shit going on in your head. I think a break from this will do you good. All of what you said is complete nonsense. Im not saying this from a critical standpoint, I don't know you so I can't say whether I like you or not, but everything you just said is pure fantasy. Not that you're any different to any other ego in my opinion.

I also understand and accept everything in the past. Because there is no attachment to the identity, I don't feel shame or regret or anything. I just see I was extremely deluded and could not have been any other way for a human identity. Your words brought up intense problems in me, but I understand now that the real self and the identity are like oil and water. The identity gets enraged at the truth. It's very funny to see this now, also a bit tragic, but because there is no identification the tragedy is like watching it on TV happening to somebody else. I could never go back to the identity. It's still there. We need it to speak, communicate, we will still make mistakes, but the identity wanted to be perfect, highly developed, reputable... it's really a life of double binds and misery. Every time we say something as the identity, we are saying it about ourselves. It's a huge room of mirrors with nothing but thoughts being moved around to make one feel more in control, more wiser, more humble or whatever nonsense the ego comes up with to fuel its imaginary identity. Even all my "enlightenment" experiences were wrong. The mind playing tricks on me. Zen is nonsense. Absolute truth? Absolute nonsense actually! Values, opinions, emotions, anything to do with this world is completely false. This world is the mind. It's the only place where the identity can exist.

I dropped my whole identity and it immediately vanished. It comes back, it appears to play with you time and time again but this time you're able to see it for what it is: pure suffering and delusion When the emotions vanished my body became extremely "present" like I could feel every nuance. If anybody has done body-scan meditation you will know of "numb spots"where there is no feeling there. Well, that's not the case. I completely inhabited this body, and along with it I was taken over by this (annoying strangely enough) relentless energy that did not change. If anybody has felt the energy in their heart area open up you will remember an intense warmth and "buzz" around the heart. This is what it's like, except it is flooding the whole body. At one point it scared me. I could not sleep very well because I couldn't drift into my imagination, it wasn't there! I also felt lost like I had lost something - I had been attached to my emotions, despite them being the bane of my life I wanted them because it gave me an identity. I have worked for years developing my ego. So I felt scared and annoyed by this relentless unchanging buzz. Then I calmed down and managed to get some sleep. I dreamed my usual dreams, and after dreams like this I usually awake feeling bad. The dreams are replaying all my mistakes, but this morning when I awoke I wasn't too interested in them. For some reason I knew that this time the recurring dream will change because I'm not identified with the character in them. The buzz is still there, not as intense, but there is an underlying peace and a knowing that I will not get caught up in that character ever again. It's liberating indeed. There is a sense of carefreeness, but it's not generated by "not caring" it's just a relief.

@charlie2dogs @governor @Piotr I want to report back some more about last night. All paths, therapies, philosophies basically anything that the human identity has created to "manage" and transform itslef are all illusions. In fact, every conversation, every position it takes, every concept it has is utterly pointless and the route cause of all suffering. Reading back some of the nonsense on here is heart breaking, people are just caught in webs of utter pointlessness.

Fascinating. Now this will be my last reply to you. Hate will be your destiny it appears

@Phrae Why is it interesting? Do you derive some kind of pleasure out of people's suffering?

@governor @charlie2dogs @Piotr Actually, I will vouch for this. I let go of the human identity (what has it ever done for me anyway? - I was afraid to let it go) It just vanishes and something replaces it. Something substantial. An energy "body" much much more alive than the human identity.. Dissociation is a myth as far as I can see. It never existed anyway, only as part of the identity. It seems Charlie is right. You have to take a leap of faith tho, and be done with the whole human thing. Charlie, I apologise.

@Linas Why don't you watch somebody else's videos then if you really believe that any guy on youtube can make you rich? I mean, why are you on here trolling Leo? Shouldn't you be thinking and growing rich or something?

@charlie2dogs There have been a lot of self-realized masters who had addictions and problems associated with the physical body. Liberation does not fix anything. I mean, Ramana Maharshi let his body rot. I know what's coming next... none of them were self-realized, only you are, some random guy who won't reveal his identity but spends all day transforming the lives of the posters here?

Liberation or dissociation?

@governor Thanks, Beware of the snake oil salesmen @Piotr That is a really good book for advanced cases of dissociation. Kudos

@governor What I mean by on one's own is there is nobody there to rely on, when thoughts and feelings of mental illness become "old" then we decide to just stop giving it any reality. This is the ultimate realization, there is nothing to be done except live life. Yes, you are having the same ideas as me, getting off the internet, I've had enough of it here and I used it for my own ends. I've never asked a question here because I know nobody can give me anything, I must do it all myself. I asked a question once, but it was just somebody's take, it can never really do anything. These insights don't come for free, they must be discovered. Therapy is nonsense, "high consciousness values" is nonsense, enlightenment is even more nonsense. There is nothing to get, and it's about having gone through the path and nearly killing ones-self trying. Then you just realize that it's all just mind doing what it does best. One of my favorite teachers David Deida says we will never be free of neurosis, so he recommends living life as "art", live as a yogic practice and entering the moment of in spite of the "therapy stuff", it's all there bubbling and it's a never ending pit of misery which will never be resolved. Anybody who thinks the "damaged self" can be resolved is telling us lies. The cosmic joke is on us!