Hello, my name is Egdis and I don't hold any specific way of doing anything as being the ultimate 'right' way, which means I experiment with everything as I go along but my ultimate goal is to self actualize. I am 41 years of age and I started drinking socially around the age of 20. In my late twenties I started using cocaine to self medicate and a couple of years later started free-basing. I had to leave the States and go back to my native Cuba as a result where for 3 years I was clean, making music and surrounded by friends and family. Moved to Europe in 2011 and the cocaine use resumed, the powder form, the rock I have been able to stay away from because of how difficult it was for me to stop and how I know all it would take is one hit to go right back to a place I must stay away from. It's been three months since my last binge. Not to bore you with the details, what I have found is that, doing what I really enjoy doing, which is writing songs, being creative and working in gardening but only if I feel like it, going to the gym, performing live shows, these among a few other things keep me happy and the fear of not doing what my family and society expect from me is what has kept me depressed and self-destructive. To deal with this anxiety I started smoking pot, and I never really liked it because it made me paranoid in the past each time I tried it, but it is working for me. my cravings for coke are completely gone and I am more certain each day as to what I want to do with my life and I am doing it. I wanted to share with you guys because maybe somebody could benefit from reading this, I sure have benefited from watching Leo's videos and I want to be a part of this community. Thank you for reading and I'm looking forward to adding something positive to our experience in this forum.
KR,
Egdis.
