Fitness Model

is there a certain routine or something to do to become in the mood for sex all the time? I use to be feeling sexy and horny all the time when I was single and during dating period with my boyfriend whom I married, sex was unbelievable, ecstatic. but now after marriage its like not that exciting, simply because we\re not horny for each other as we use to be, familiarity is a bitch, but I still want to have amazing sex and believe that we can if I just be in the mood, so I get creative, because just doing it isnt exactly our thing, there must be like some dirty talk or telling him a fantasy, but even that is getting boring, I dont know please help. I would love to hear from both men and women, what do you think is the way to go. ps he is a bodybuilder and I am a fitness model so we look fairly good most of the time, we just let go you know in holiday times to get treats and eat like we want

@Salaam loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooollll, you cracked me up bad David I read this piece of art 3 times, I loooove it, but I strongly believe that theres a pre-requirement for this art that you are presenting. almost like seduction 102, I must take seduction 101 to really digest this. a lot of the concepts you and this other gentleman speak about are foreign to me. I read the art of seduction by Robert Greene 10 years ago, but he never came across these concepts. I definitely believe in creating tension and anticipation and those worked amazingly in the past on the guys I use to date and secretly use as hamsters to test the techniques Greene talks about. so, what book or forum do you recommend for me as a beginner to actually understand this advanced piece? but I love your description of seduction being a story. are you sure your not a poet or an author?

@Annie HAHAHHAAAAAAAA u cracked me up soo bad, yes Germans are weird loooool, they kill sexuality in anything, even in nudity. actually I am half British half Brazilian, and my husband is Yugoslavian, we met in the UK when I was out of an MBA class heading to the Gym, he was giving a presentation to Bill Gates looool, and on the road we car raced then he blocked me and refused to let me go unless I gave him my number, really nice time. at that time I had one 3 beauty pageants, miss bikini and a face model for makeup. he had hair now hes bold hahahaaa, Im less pretty than before because of the hard times and my baby isnt an east one at all, super hyper active, naughty, expert in making mess and hates to sleep I look tired even when Im not tired and my waist is wider than before, generally chubbier than before but still fit and toned, I just dont spend 3 hours getting ready to go anywhere even to the gym like I use to. no time but you are definitely right, I must sit with him and tell him to work with me as soon as I understand Salaams technique looool. ps I live in Hamburg, lovely city and very friendly people

@Annie no sweetie your right! and I know it, I feel it, and I told him that but he said that my low self esteem issues are not his problem and Im a needy person, jealous and do not possess self confidence otherwise I wouldn't think that. but I know it, he isnt attracted to me anymore, and he claims cz Im not horny like I use to be. (he basically lies down and tries to save as much effort as possible) I told him that he changed as well, cz he use to actually LIVE between my legs when we were dating, he said that was because he was turned on by my supreme horniness. he is sooooo immature, he just doesnt wanna do anything about it, its easier to put the blame on me, and keep checking girls out in the street, and follow hotties groups and masturbate over their slutty pics, thats more comfortable for him than working with me to make us both happy and satisfied. I wanted to leave him so many times, but I keep thinking: why does my daughter have to pay the price for 2 adults who are sooo selfish they dont want to make any effort to make this a happy family. outside sex, we have a great time together, we dont fight anymore, we both love our daughter to death, he never cheated, so thats why Im sure I can do something about it, just like I was 103 kilos when I was 17 and lost those to 49 kg in 2 months and built a perfectly toned body, and kept the weight off, I think I can manage this guy, I just need patience and the right strategy, my daughter will get the best life no matter what!

@Annie your right dear Annie, its very important for me and I actually get wet just by kissing, I told him I love kissing and foreplay but when we are having sex he becomes so hurried to put it (intercourse) and he wants it either by me sitting in reverse (reverse cow girl) or doggie, so I dont know how to kiss during that. even when I initiate sex by kissing he quickly turns his face to the side, I thought I had mouth odor but I made a test with the spoon, and I dont, it smells good. I asked him why do u turn ur face when I start kissing u, he said cz he cant breathe and kiss in the same time. liar ofcourse cz he use to kiss me for loong times when we were dating. same applies for giving me oral sex, as he doesnt lick me at all, he did it like 4 times throughout our 4 year marriage, I also thought I had vaginal odor but I always stick a finger inside me before sex and smell it and taste it, I never ever had a smell its almost tasteless n no odor. I always wash with intimate wah after each urine and dry with a separate towel especially for my vagina, and I always am shaved down there, and at the house I dress panties and bra to keep my body fresh, and anyway my skin isnt the kind that produces sweat, I basically dont sweat, not even while working out unless its HIIT training, and I shower and scrub everyday.

@Salaam hey there Master! I replied to your amazing post above but forgot to @user you so apologies for that. thank you sooo so much for your kind help, I hope you get it back multiplied!

@charlie2dogs I apologize if I came offensive, you are obviously more knowledgeable than me in the self actualization field, I think Im not mature enough and my ego creeps out of no where and acts defensive. you are absolutely right, Love is a state of being, and that is what I am trying to achieve.

I do believe this as well, thank you for the encouragement, please mention one of ur habits or suggest one that would work on u by your wife. what do you mean by: connecting deeper to my identity and sexuality? how do you do that? I honestly forgot what my sexuality was after trying to alter it so many times to fit my husbands taste but with no success. he tried to convince me to take cheating as a fetish (AKA get turned on when I fantasize about him having sex with another woman) and it worked FOR A WHILE till I no longer felt it turns us on to do that fantasy so we thought maybe have a threesome with my girlfriend (whom I use to make out with when I was single) but I thought of that out of desperation more than inspiration. but I was scared that this would become the norm, and deep down I knew he wanted to do it just so he would be able to become actually horny when hes with me cz if its just me than thats not enough, and that idea was killing me. we didn't do it, he also coward out of it when I told him to send her plane tickets. Reading this I got soooo turned on I almost masturbated, ARE YOU A REAL PERSON? I never imagined that there would be a man who would actually do this!! and after 4 years of marriage!! you know if my husband does that I would probably orgasm as he is kissing my fingers (we dont kiss to begin with not even in sex, he avoids it) anyway, this reminded me of the good old days when I was obsessed with seduction (I was reading The art of seduction by Robert Greene and playing those techniques on my husband who was my boyfriend then. how can you be seduces after seeing all her flaws? I have a question, are you enlightened? cz you cant be just a normal human thinking this extremely high thinking, your superhuman. may I ask what is your job? are you an author? today for example we went to the park and I thought let me try what Salaam was talking about so I put my self in seductress mentality and I thought to imagine time stopped and I smiled at him and wanted to make an eye contact with him but he smiled back quickly and immediately put his eyes on his phone to play a game, so I dont know how I can ever experience a fraction of what your experiencing how to have presence, and how to make the other person play along, especially if that person isnt into this high thinking? I conclude from this that you are both mediators, if not both enlightened? Im a beginner in meditation like 6 weeks only of 20 minutes do nothing meditation. my husband isnt into that at all and thinks its a waste of time, he rather playing video games. is it possible to achieve a small percentage in this practice if just one of the 2 people in relation is a mediator, a seductress? wow!!!!! your lady is definitely on the same page, she seems to have the superhuman thinking as well. does your lady meditate during sex?

@charlie2dogs well yes we both didn't have the resources to make a fruitful relationship, but I think you know that love isn't a real thing, it's what you see in movies so that can't be what is missing in the relationship, now connection on all levels yea that's definitely something to work on as our relationship didget better in terms of communication, and we are more honest with each other than we use to, I understand way better than before, we got much closer after we had our daughter as he is an extraordinary father, we don't fight anymore, we discuss and I respect him because he's intelligent and logical. So our relationship isn't a failure it just needs on going improvement especially on this area: sex, if this is fixed I think I'm in the best marriage ever.

@Emerald Wilkins I couldn't agree more dear Emy, but you see that's the problem, he doesnt desire me, he desires sex, and sometimes I show him sexy pics of girls on Instagram or even my girlfriend to put him in the mood. That's why I lost self confidence for a long time, until recently I started gaining it once I stopped defining my self worth & if I'm pretty or sexyy enough by his view (after watching Leo's video on how to be attractive & how to stop jealousy) those 2 videos changed my life. So yea, definitely having sex with someone who desires you just you is the thing that would make me wild horny, but that's not gonna happen, and I don't want to stay a victim I want to upgrade my life, have great sex with what I can have control over.

@Kimasxi dear Kim, thank you for your generous reply, but I doubt that theory applies to me, as I loved my husband throughout the relationship, engagement and beginning of marriage, I fell out of love because he hurt me too many times, he never cheated but he killed my self confidence & made it very clear that I no longer turn him on just by looking at me, he started checking hot girls as early as our honeymoon, as he discovered that they're hotter than me, then when we went to live in Brazil all hell gates opened in my face as he said he can't consider me a female next to them (I was pregnant at that time so I was definitely not sexy or fuckable) anyway after all that I no longer feel love for him, I care about him but. Definitely not love him. ps now we live in Germany thank God, so I'm in among the hottest girls here. im half British half Brazilian (actually 1/4 Brazilian as my mums dad is Brazilian & her mum is Russian) so I have a pretty face like Kate upton/Michell Trachtenberg & my body is hour glass shaped so I'm a 10 in my good days but never went under 8 in my worst days, but Brazilian girls are not human they have insane bodies, make even the best looking girls feel flabby & not sexy at all Loool (very deep & non shallow of me)

@Denis Thank you for your really kinky suggestions, but may I ask which toys do you recommend? and do you find your girlfriend sexy or are you bored with her and check other girls? I believe you do find her sexy, now if you didnt what would she have to do to put uou on high gears again? thats kind of my problem. @Sarah_Flagg which toys do you recommend? I never squirted if theres a toy that can help with that please advise, thankl you so much dear

I agree, but I want to have great sex in my life, I think its up to me, I am sick of waiting for him to do something and Im sooooo sick of being a victim, I take full responsibility and I want to turn this around completely, screw the rules and the norms, I want something costumed to me.\ I know! and that is what drove us to this state, we were so in love then we fell out of love (love as the illusion that is portrayed on TV). but after watching some of Leos videos about this subject, it was a big AHA moment for me, that I dont need anything from him or anybody, I am self sufficient, and want to be a giving force rather than a receiving and expecting force

@ChimpBrain well the emotions we have are boredom and I am not sure what love is so I cant know if he loves me or even if i love him, we care about each other yes, but I dont know how this emotional bonding that most women talk about works? like they become soul mates and talk heart to heart, that kind of stuff? I dont know but thats not the case with us, its just everyday life, same routine same thing, not much feelings I guess

@Sarah_Flagg Thank you dear, I do suggest stuff like that to him but he seems not that interested & honestly Im doing it half hearted as I rather do something else or sleep and he is the same and we both know this is what the other person is thinking, so its not as much of a toy thing or technique thing as it is a lust and desire thing (AKA being horny and lusting the other person). I watch porn sometimes but it doesnt turn me on as it feels soooo fake, I get more horny on reading erotica or watching movies like basic instinct 2, killing me softly, loool thats how I

@Salaam BIG BIG BIG APPLAUSE for the piece of art you wrote, and I really appreciate your time and effort to share this amazing sexual wisdom so thank you very much. this is the sex Im actually aspiring to achieve what you have described. we also have been married for almost 4 years and have a 2 year old baby but dated for 3 years and were engaged for 2 years so we know each other for 9 years but forgive my ignorance as I am obviously not at the same level of knowledge where you are otherwise I wouldn't be stuck here, so Im gonna be greedy and beg you please to give an example of how to build Sexual Tension, what exactly do u do to Seduce her. what inspires this idea of the seduction? where do you take your inspiration from? please give an example of how you: Captivate attention, draw out feelings and hold them till the thirst becomes over-whelming.? what do you mean bu that? sides of her sexuality? new positions? i doubt it, being submissive then becoming dominant? sexual orientation? becoming bisexual? doing threesomes? how exactly do you grow sexually together? doesnt lifes responsibilities affect your desire to seduce? how did you manage to stay attracted to your lady and not get bored or wish you could sleep with another girl, a more beautiful or sexy one? ps my husband barely watches porn but checks pics of real life girls with hot bodies and masturbates top that. that happens if he finished playing video games real late & Im deeply sleeping (he is a game producer btw) God bless you and your wife and grow your love & happiness togather

as a beginner in meditation I started with 10 minutes and built it up to 20 minutes. but I had two very busy days I barely had time to go to the bathroom, so I meditated for 10 minutes and 15 minutes in these 2 days. is that ok? or should I restart the 30 days (to make it a habit) all over again?

@charlie2dogs WOOOOOW, I am amazed by your answer which reveals your extremely generous nature and positive power of giving to others this deep wisdom. I truely appreciate the time and care you put in this eye opening and inspiring advise. to achieve this state I believe I must start my journey to enlightment but I know I have a lot of work to do. I am in the very early stages of self development as I started meditating to increase my willpower (recommended in the book (willpower instinct) to conquer my sugar addiction which has been holding me back of taking a fitness title. and to achieve emotional intelligence as my emotions caused me a great deal of problems that otherwise could have been prevented. but your description is what Im aiming for, as I struggle in the 20 minutes of the do nothing meditation technique, visualization and affirmations I definitely must add the practice of mindfulness to get there sooner, which I will be doing by following Leos instructions in his videos. Thank you again

@Jan Odvarko @cetus56 @Arik Thank you so much for the valuable advise. @ChimpBrain Ill definitely try that but 45 minutes! wow your a monk! How? I would love to learn that!