JustinS

@Peter Zemskov Just take a 10-20min nap when you get sleepy, then sit right back up and meditate.

This is for you oops already been posted hehe

Somewhere along the line of my childhood I just assumed all adults just figured it out about this thing called Life. Not til I was about 20, I was sitting in my room stoned out of my mind and realized we were just floating in space on a rock through infinite space and no one really knew jack shit. Everywhere I looked around no one seemed to really notice this reality that we are a small speck in this Universe. It shook me with terror and awe which left me in tears. Since then I've been going deeper and deeper down the hole and paradoxically finding more meaning in the ordinary; it's the new extraordinary. I've grown so much yet still I'm a child.

@RossE Yes do it, and give it your all

@kieranperez Dark groovy forest 150+bpm. Something I can dance and groove to and not just gitter. And you?

I've stared becoming to notice after Oregon Eclipse Festival that the more I grow the less I'm slowly starting to enjoy these "transformative" or psytrance festivals. But...goddamn there are still some festivals on my bucket list.

@jjer94 Jesus, that sounds like straight up food porn.

Here is the MAPS youtube channel. Lots of cool presentations of studies. https://www.youtube.com/user/mapsmdma/videos

The thought of someone else is out there is just created by my mind. There are no boundaries to reality. It encompasses it all. I am the teacher, the student, teaching the student, and the student listening to the teacher. A one ultimate cosmic orgasm right here and right now. Either you can tune in to it or not doesn't matter. No structure, conformity, no rules, or even a sense of knowing what's going on; it just exist and I am that, is all that I can make sense of. Deep sense of belonging and relaxation, just a cosmic hug to me. I am forgiven for all my worst deeds only because I was ignorant/ lacked awareness. A beautiful ballet like cosmic dance with duality both masculine and feminine merging, merging and dissolving, dissolving into God which I am. Addictions don't seem to be possible in high states of consciousness. Addictions are merely comfort zones for the already agitated mind. The mind doesn't see that it needs to pass this hurdle to enjoy an even more cosmic pleasure. It's so ass backwards and paradoxical. I will enjoy an even more greater pleasure and deep relaxation once I pass the hurdle of nothingness and Being. The Universe it trying to do me a favor but I lack the stillness to follow through with it. Treat others as you would treat yourself. Don't go out with an agitated mind. Find stillness and lightness before you leave the house. Deep relaxation and calmness of the mind before you step outside. I don't want to add to it no more. I think I might've realized my life purpose or what I would love to do during this trip. To be a dancer or a choreographer to emulate God's divine and ever so expanding movements. Hahaha I don't know. I would have to look deeper into that one.

@Captain Flint Totally hahah. It has the respective name of the God Molecule.

Well let's just cross our fingers ladies and gentlemen. I can already see the new HBO special with Jim Carrey's standup called Dying To Be Me. I think one of the main reasons I was able to break through (and I think I went full nondual) on just 2g of shrooms was because of my kriya or kundalini (idk which honestly) was activated early this May during mid vipassana retreat. This happened (starts at 0:45sec of video below), and idk what the hell it is. Over the months it has progressively become more and more apparent in every day. I would just walk to the kitchen and I would have to pause and just do a few face/neck spasms. It fews like a yawn but like an inner yawn. I can do it right now and I bet you can to. Try to yawn but do it from the inside your brain. The same initial motion as doing an actual yawn (opening of the throat). After a few of these you can feel an elevated state of consciousness. It's orgasmic, unlimited, and on demand. I do this whenever I'm driving home from work to recharge and massage my inner brain. It's kinda feels like cool water being poured down an over heated brain. Anyways, I didn't expect the shrooms to activate this shit out of this. So when I swigged the tea I felt like a charging of the spine ready to take off. Well, I went to go take a dump and it hit me like a train. I went full exorcist shaking and vibrating at such high velocities naked on the toilet. From there on...only God knows haha. Here are some things I do to activate this "inner yawn/kriya": sit up straight with spine erect, like an antenna ready to receive cosmic energy when meditating, standing, or wherever. Mimic the same actions as doing a purposeful yawn. (When your mouth is open you should feel a slight expansion from behind your throat, focus on that and pinpoint it with your awareness) Keep at it, keep at it and it should probably ignite like a spark. When you actually do a genuine yawn, there is this feeling of deep relaxation...try to prolong it by tuning it and letting it to continuously flow and not just stopping as usual.

@Nahm That's true. Nonduality is always the case, it's just whether you choose it to be the main theme of your life or not. Possibly in the next 20-50 years when psychedelics become more and more mainstream and accessible. Removing its negative stigma. The growth on the planet could be raised exponentially. I could hear the news, "young man took acid and realized he was mere frequency vibrating at a high velocity. Realizing he was one consciousness..." (Bill Hicks, something like that. 1:45 Jim Carrey is so going to be the next Hicks holy shit!

There is a point during the trip (as in all my trips) where I have a feeling this nondual experience will surely last forever and that I'm awaken now. It surely is convincing at that peak experience when I feel limitless. But of course I eventually come down. However, I can see the subtle nuance pathway being veiled to me for me to be awakened. It's just a continual peeling of the onion and seriously questioning my limiting beliefs and paradigm locks and not to get so easily sucked right back into them as I sober up. Really I feel sharpening of awareness, more trips, and continual studying is necessary for a persistent breakthrough. I like the slow motion water droplet Leo posted in his blog. Each I time trip it's just easier and exciting to just go as far as I can. Dying becomes a skill to be learned or better yet surrendering is the most beautiful art. How willing are you to die right now at this moment? Enlightenment is right now. I am nothing right now. A ghost, a hallucination is a breathtaking dream we call reality. But it's so convincingly real. My parents are convinced, my friends are convinced, and society is convinced that this is real and that we are born and we die. How would an average joe in western society possibly find out about nonduality?

@Parki I've done iboga once before with the bwiti tribe. It's some serious shit. Be prepared to be totally incapable to move around and assist yourself. Please have someone knowledgeable enough to be there with you the entire trip. The trip can last up to 24 hours depending on dosage. Be prepared to fall deep into the dark corners of the rabbit hole. You will feel like you've gone full mental. Trust the process.

Have you tried meditation while on your medications? Keep up the daily sitting and I wouldn't expect too much not until at least 3 months of daily practice. Til then you might have the inner strength of awareness to just observe your symptoms when you're slowly dropping your meds.

@Nexeternity I've done a 1 hour session with someone trained under Dr. Grov. It's quite a powerful technique. I can't imagine a full session of 3 hours. Just within that 1 hour I've cried til my eyes went dry.

https://soundcloud.com/doyeq/01-road-to-river

@Joseph Maynor I suppose as long as you can taste the pudding once in a while meaning you can get some direct experience or a shift in perspective.

@Martin123 Now its everytime I become conscious of breath. It can be the first breath. Basically everytime I deeply relax whether I'm stretching, meditating, or sometimes driving. As long as I'm really conscious of my inhale it triggers it. I can suppress these jerks but then it almost like charges and builds up giving me a powerful sometimes violent shake where my head nods up and down hard. I have a feeling its going to be like this for the rest of my life. I have no problem with it .

I found out that for me these things can be over stimulating and agitating very quickly, but before it wasn't like that. It's that I can enjoy these activities, probably even more now, but it just drains me quicker. It's now difficult for me to watch a full length (2hours) movie in one sitting.

@Leo Gura It could last for 3 hours if you did some mushrooms right after or the day after 5MeO. Though its probably unknown territory.

@Bas 2 years ago I've done ayahuasca the day after Bufo and to say the least I wasn't prepared for all that download and so it terrified me. Within 20 mins of drinking aya I could hear the faint buzzing noise from the bufo and I knew right there that this was going to be one hell of a trip. And indeed it was, it teared to me to shreds and drilled my ego until it showed me all the egoic/selfish behaviors of my past. Ooo but it also was so good in a strange way. Sounds like you took it really well though! I think I'm ready for a another go.

@DrMobius 25mg is quite still alot. I would go down to 15-20mg. You might need less to breakthrough each time too.