Marcin

There is also person c: is not content without parting and socializing but doesn't do it because it's scary

Do these kind of videos really work? I watched couple of them and it didn't work for me. I didn't see what that teacher was trying to show. Is this stuff only for advanced whose awareness and mindfulness is high (I've been meditating for only 5 months).

As far as I know everyone can post videos here. I'm little confused but I think the problem is that you say you would like to share a video but for some reason you didn't do it

Thank you for all your answers! Now I am after week of sds except I didn't do in on weekend but from now I am going to do this everyday and maybe even try to do it few times on free days. I think Leo in his video said that after some period of suffering all pain disappear and you feel relaxed and very happy. I was expecting to experience something like this. Now I have no expectations. I just plan to do it for few weeks and then look at this from bigger perspective. I am not unhappy person but also I'm not the happiest. I am shy and feel awkward with people especially with girls. I have few friends. At work very often I loose focus and motivation. My productivity is average. I think meditation will help me and make it easier to do further actions f. e. socializing with people.

Yesterday I had my first attempt. I failed after 12 minutes. I stopped because I felt quite strong pain in my lower back and I was afraid that I can hurt myself (I guess because chair's back support was hard and straight - not fitting S-shape of backbone) Today I tried it again on more comfortable chair very similar to this one: https://cdn3.mebelkart.com/220-thickbox/computer-workstation-chair-medium-back.jpg I managed to sit for whole 60 minutes. Anyway I am disappointed because this activity wasn't very demanding and I don't feel like I did something big or make some progress. I had some itches here and there, some pain in my chest which were lasting for different periods of time (from few seconds to few minutest). But they were average and not forcing me to stop. I felt more emotional torture (boredom) than physical. After I finished meditation I didn't feel any different than before meditation. I was disappointed because of this. Here are things that I think I could do wrong: I wasn't moving except: blinking, deeper breaths, swallowing saliva. From time to time I was doing deep breaths (my chest and shoulders were moving) During swallowing saliva very often my jaw and tongue were moving. Do you think I did something wrong or my expectations are too high?