student

People with an attraction to unknown, to progress, to truth, will always go only forward, regardless the opinions of others, beliefs, ideas. The knowing of a truth being out there is too strong to be destroyed by a mere opinion, idea. If you don't know women that are sincere seekers, that doesn't mean they don't exist.

@Monkey-man yes, they exist. We are a diversity, we are individuals, we do not function the same. I know people who just laugh and tell jokes almost all the time, and it's not because they are superficial or something like that, it's because that's how they are, it's just their authenticity. For them playfulness is more in forefront, than seriousness.

You don't need to increase your self worth, you need to recognize it. Being concentrated only on the external doesn't do much, because there you are not focused on yourself, but on futile things. You will never find yourself outside, you will just face the miserable consequences. The external dictates your life, not your authentic self. You're looking for your authentic self, you need to approach yourself, spend time with yourself, until then you will just depend on the other's opinions and their vision of what you are capable of.

Because you are low consciousness. Because you are not functioning, you only think you are functioning, you only think, have opinions, you live in your own world, worlds created by unconsciousness, illusions. You are not yourself, you do not have opinions marked by clarity and authenticity, you are in a trance of illusions, delusions, you are not conscious of yourself, you are not conscious at all. This is why you should have "high consciousness values". Or maybe you should drop this phrase and just live life and when you will feel miserable and see you are dependent on the external circumstances, that they are the one that dictate your life, then come back to the "work", and you will understand why from your own experience.

All is in the mind. "Use" it or ignore it.

@Buba these should be your everyday thoughts, surpass your current self, be better, stronger. Resolutions are for lazy people. Individuals should work everyday to reach their higher self, their goal. I do the "work" everyday. I wouldn't even care if in a month we would all die. I would just continue to do the work. That's all individuals have to do. Drop those resolution thoughts, they just provoke in you anxiety. Time is also a complex thing. It has no measure. It has sense just in the realm of low consciousness.

They are futile thoughts. Even if they are "better" or not than you, that shouldn't preoccupy you. Every person has its own path. You are not focused on yourself, you are focused on the external. These thoughts can easily be absent, they are not important, they just seem to be important. Exaggeration is present. Besides that, you can see I but "better" in quotation marks, because labels, opinions doesn't really show/mean anyting. They are just a distance from reality. Recenter yourself.

What you can do is immerse yourself in your creative work, in your creativity, try to be in contact everyday to your spontaneity. There are dozens of ways to discover creativity, to build a better relationship with it. In my opinion, books are good, but not the ones that you just learn from, but the ones that are more philosophical, that the author itself knows what it means to lose yourself in the creative process. Mastery doesn't come easily. Mastery doesn't mean reading books and talk with different people about creativity. It comes from yourself, if you're really interested, if your desire is much higher than this illusion, than yourself. Mastery won't come to you if you gain your information just from books. You should gain the informations, insights from yourself, your sincere curiosity and love for what you're doing, it comes after days of crying, after days of losing yourself, not finding "yourself" in what you love.

I can easily stay away from the internet. I have better and more pleasant things to do. If you are addicted to it, it means you haven't discovered yet that something special, precious to yourself.

If you just wait it to pass away, if you treat it superficially, it will come again, you wouldn't solve really anything. Backlashes or any other similar reactions should be faced, contemplated, you must want to find a solution to them. It will take time, so it would be futile to constantly blame yourself and feel down. It is normal for backlashes to be present, and it should be normal for people to face them, not run away from them. They want to teach you a lesson, make you stronger. They want you to be more independent, more conscious.

@electroBeam i'm speaking from my own experience. Leo is right, your life purpose should make you cry. And you start crying by seeing the beauty of it, by feeling the "power", not "your" power, but the power of everything, of the universe. When I was little I was in full contact with my authenticity, I did the things unique to me spontaneously, intuitively, and as I got older I further developed them through spirituality. Visual arts is the domain I'm active. It can show you divine love, spontaneity, "perfection", but you must be in a "pure" state, the state you are like when you meditate. You need to be less superficial, less preoccupied with "me". The less "me" you have, the more you discover your higher self and have trust in you, in everything, in your work. Of course low-consciousness careers cannot show you that, because you must be concentrated on something else than your true self. But businesses promoted by spirituality is viable and can work very well.

Your life purpose should also grow you spiritually. A true life purpose does this. A true life purpose make you realize, make you grow, make you feel love not only for yourself and what you're doing, but also for others. When you feel the beauty of it and the true, divine power, you also feel and know it will have the same effect on others, if done "correctly", with the help of the infinite, higher self. Life purpose inevitably is directed towards others. You have spirituality when everything you do comes from something deep, infinite, something higher than illusion. A career or business involving a true spiritual connection is 100% viable, because it is directed towards others, towards everything. Again, it has power if done "correctly". It is also hard to be always in a deep connection with your lp (because of our own superficiality), that's why sometimes we may not be optimistic.

Resistance to life.

@playdoh your delusions, lies are the one "protecting" you. You start to fall apart, you are not as great as you thought you to be, as special, as "unique". You feel down because you started digging. You may not recognize yet if you're new, the consequences of the lack of spirituality in one's life, the miserable feeling always being in the background, the disgust toward yourself, the ego, the "evil". You started stepping into your own mind, that's why you have a feeling of dread. But it will pass, because it is easier to be dragged back into superficiality, than remain conscious, because at first you will inevitably have these feelings.

@WaterfallMachine There is nothing wrong with being serious. Something is wrong if you force yourself to be something you're not, act without concordance with who you really are, and prevent yourself from being spontaneous, to be serious sometimes and playful other times. You must always be authentic. People are different, you must find yourself your own harmony.

@Philipp Just like buddha said, man cannot live without a spiritual life. You can do personal development, but you also need to preoccupy yourself with spirituality. If your life doesn't include spirituality, then you will feel the superficiality and the limits of personal dev., you will remain in the "dark".

You communicate better by understanding the other's perspective. You need patience and love, desire not to make people agree with you, but again, understand you. It is about understanding and the necessity of both of them to be open-minded and understand this concept of "understanding", not imposing oneself onto the other. From your post it seems that both of you try to impose something onto the other. You don't want really to reach to a mutual agreement, to investigate together the problem, to analyse the problem/discussion from multiple perspectives. Patience is needed with people. It is simple to communicate with people that are like you, after all, they just agree and make "life easier". You communicate with people in different ways, because people are unique, have their own path, maybe they are not at the same "level" as you, but that just means that your style of communication must be changed, according to the person. You can not generalize, apply rules to communication, because you're speaking to individuals. If the person you are speaking to can not let go of judgments, their own perspectives, are close-minded, can not listen, don't want to understand, listen but immediately return to maintaining their beliefs, then they must be left alone. They will have good relationships with people like them. Open-mindedness doesn't really have much to do with a super high level of consciousness. The person must just enjoy and have a sincere desire to understand the other. This comes from love, even if people don't recognize it.

@egoless "My main issues come from social anxiety and fear of publicity and public speaking." Yes, it seems like our deepest fears, our deepest anxieties align themselves when we want to pursue what is actually important, what is actually a purpose, what is defining us. It is the same with me, and it is the same with everyone. Like I said, life purpose has much to do with yourself, it's not a simple lp, it also grows yourself, and if you don't want to, it forces you, because otherwise you can't pursue it. Finding it is the easiest thing, then you have to build a good relationship with it.

We don't know, but we can now. If you don't know, then you can't know yet. You must do further the "work". Nothing comes easily, not the "answers" make you realize. If you want to master, to know, you must go there by yourself. You must make the steps yourself, no one can give you the answer, because that's not how one starts to really know. The steps are actually the one that make you better, more "informed", that make you actually know, not simple answers. The answers are just showing you that there is a path and that that path is possible.

@Thanatos13 "the beauty of life" is something you gain. Yes, what is miserable exists, what is "ugly" exists. Consequences exists. You're miserable right now, you're giving yourself answers, explanations, you are delusional, you want to kill yourself, but you want answers from people, you're unsure. There is no purpose indeed. The unconsciousness hides it. Unconscious people are "lucky". But as you grow your consciousness, as you start to see these things, you'll also start to "know" things intuitively. It starts not to be a matter of what is true or not, what has purpose or not, if I should kill myself or not. Explanations, superficial answers becomes things of past. The new kind of knowledge starts to make itself known. You start to know a new kind of knowledge, to acquire a new kind of knowledge. The knowledge that you feel, that is simply "true". Suicide, death, you start to see them for what they are, and also start to feel that your existence has a purpose after all, but another kind of purpose than known by "ordinary" people. Yes the life is suffering when you are not conscious of what you are. It is all about suffering and deception until you start to see. That's why you meditate, try to be aware every moment, because something is neglected. "Something" that you intuitively know you have to discover.

When you'll understand what opinions are, what reactions are. When you'll understand that everything you perceive is appropriated. When you'll see that you have nothing to do with the reactions, opinions, beliefs of others. When you'll see that you are just deceiving yourself, interpret everything, to satisfy your own lack of love and trust in yourself. Others opinions matter when you are distant from yourself. The others are the ones that tell you who you are and what you are capable of, not your auhentic self. You have not recognized yet the "power" within yourself.

@egoless " I was always interested in the nature and existence and the Truth. " That, in my opinion, is a big clue of your lp. You're interested in the knowledge of the world, maybe you have a specific domain, you need to dig more. Desire for truth, knowledge, life. Search for another clues? For example, how do you feel in nature? Of course, all of us feel very pure, but some people find something more special there. Look for these clues, very "little" clues. Your lp has much to do with yourself. You can not be that unconscious if you put these kind of questions, so you actually have a "chance" of finding it more easily. Continue everyday to try to remember, to observe yourself, what gives you "special" feelings, pure feelings, a feeling that differentiates from others. Then suddenly, after some time, you will know what to do. Everything will come in its right place, and you will know. But you must have a sincere desire to find it, it is a part of yourself after all, it is yourself. That's why a true lp grows one spiritually also.

Those different states has to do with the ego, with the "egos", different images, thoughts about yourself, that you don't have control of, they come very subtly and you won't be aware of them until you try to "center" yourself, to become conscious. When we are alone is very easy to be ourselves, to regain the true "power", but when we come in contact with people, different states, habits, thoughts, come again, the same as always, dragging you left and right, until you become more conscious of your "true" self. There is one truth that must be always with you, regardless the states, thoughts, feelings. The question is, do you recognize it?

@Moreira "For me a spiritual alpha woman without psychologycal issues would be the deal, but hard to find like a gold nugget." I think that's what we all try to achieve, to be "alpha" persons. So it might be hard to find alphas, because we ourselves are not at that "level". But we at least can find persons who can share the same sincere desire and vision as us: evolution, progress, development, and grow together.

When we are kids most of the time we behave in the most authentic way, we do those things which really define us, intuitively, in a natural, spontaneous way. We lack the futile thoughts, the "obstacles". Can you remember how you were when you were little? What you liked to do most of the time? How were you behaving? Your authenticity have the answers to your lp. Most parents, unfortunately, don't know how to guide their kids, they "teach" them, they don't observe them and try to enhance and mantain their authenticity, which is why we become later so distant from ourselves.