student

The price of seeking truth is finding yourself. That is the price. If you don't want that then return to the external/whatever else. Everyone is already enlightened, isn't it so? what everyone says? So why be on some "lonely" path that only the "wretched" walks? The warmth of others is so much better, isn't it?

I only read books if I want to get something out of them, if I have a sincere desire to know, I don't force myself to read them, for the sake of just reading. I can read multiple books, usually all of them different in the subject, but I can get absorbed by one book and read it in three days or so. Currently I am reading multiple books, each of them different in topic. I don't care about how long it takes to finish them, I care only about the content. There is no fixed way of doing things. You know better how you want to do it and why, most importantly, you do it. People get bored of books or half-read them because they don't actually want to sincerely read the book, they don't know why they are reading. The purpose is not to finish books, it is gathering the informations (any kind) you desire, and then naturally benefit from them.

By looking outside, at others, you are just looking at your past self. That is who you were in the past. Now you are making changes and continue to make changes. Things are improving for yourself, you start to get disgusted by the "egotistical" ego, about the "evil" that is surrounding you, about what actual "death" is - lack of knowledge and consciousness. The irritation that you feel, or the hatred will someday in the future be surpassed, because this is just your current temper that needs to be developed. Don't run from who you are, and trust yourself. Good conversations come when you feel a sincere desire to communicate, to know the other, when you have sincere love and friendliness. If you participate in something you don't want to, you will only fool yourself and suffer/endure the consequences later. What you are experiencing is just another stage that must be surpassed (and you know this, you feel this, by feeling an imbalance). Keep doing yoga and meditation and keep observing others and yourself, your reaction, where you lack things, what should be improved, what you don't like about your present situation etc. Keep always doing this and you will reach a more harmonious "stage".

Only you know what it means. Only you know what you want, why you should do it. Many people don't do it, they live life and they are "happy". So why are you here? You must have a reason, a vision, a dream, an aspiration. What is it? Only you know the answer. Maybe at first there is just a weak motivation, a weak cause/wish for why are you here, but as you are working on that wish, as you are concomitantly growing yourself, your vision will start to grow too, because everything is unforeseeable, you are unforeseeable. Maybe you have a weak, egotistic wish, but that doesn't matter, because it is the "logical" course of things. The bigger picture will come only when the individual demonstrates its ambition.

You're supposed to start caring more about yourself and find what you are. You are bored and have no direction because life has no direction and the only "direction" it can have is when the individual finds his life purpose. Until then you will just move in circles. The majority of people move in circles and they distract themselves from the boredom by surrounding themselves with ordinary things, the typical mundane life, the life that almost any individual you see on the street has. The existential boredom is real and the only way a person can feel harmony, a sense of direction is by knowing themselves, the real, bigger, "higher" self, not the one that can be easily known. When you start to know yourself, to build a better "relationship" with yourself, you will find power, clarity, organisation and harmony. Until then you are just fooling yourself and gradually waste your life. There are many modalities of knowing yourself. The best way, besides meditation, is by doing what enthuses you greatly.

You didn't have so many thoughts about yourself so that's why it was a normal and natural thing to ask. The "unknowing" consciousness was there. Now we "know" too much and the trance of illusions created itself.

When you are born you are automatically presented to misery, ignorance. This is what this "sphere" is all about. By disembarrassing yourself from the causes of your pain, by letting go, you will rediscover yourself. As you become conscious you will get the "enlightenment", the clarity actually.

@BobbyLowell Do what you want. Do not restrain yourself. People need a pause from all the books, informations on the internet about spirituality or whatever information there is and return to themselves. The external is not fulfilling, whatever that is. You need yourself. Follow yourself, you will not find fullfillment, something "special", true until you start to know yourself, to know what spending time with oneself is. Don't follow any rules, you don't need rules. You need to know how to think for yourself. You need to awaken your intuition and have some "experience" with consciousness. You need to start to make distinctions coming from another form of "knowing", coming from the soul. You need yourself, to know what loving oneself is.

@7thLetter You will only grow if you know how to grow. The other can be as conscious as "god", but you can easily dismiss her, because it all depends on you. Why do you think unconscious people dismiss conscious people? Because there is an incompatibility, an incapacity from the unconscious of seeing something else than the surface. They will just neglect what is conscious and just go on on approving what validates their miserable existence. You will end in failure only if you want the surface. It seems that it is always like that. Being always on the surface, on the very "tangible reality", it always ends in failure because all people on this planet, all of us are something much more than a "something", we all have a higher self, so that's why we can recognize suffering/what is miserable, not right and want to end it. You want something big, something special, something else, something unpredictable, you want a big change, but at the same time you are dealing with cravings, with the body. It is ok. You only need to continue to raise your consciousness and grow yourself, because if you don't do this you will not reach anywhere. You will just stagnate and lie yourself that you are doing progress when in fact you are not. Raise your consciousness to be aware of your body, the material reality. You have consciousness, why letting yourself immersed in various trances? Many people are in relationships, have "experience", but they remain the same, they learn nothing. They are always in a relationship with someone miserable like them. You are the source, change yourself and you will know/sense naturally, immediately consciousness around you. You can have infinite experience and nothing learnt from it. That's what the majority of people are doing. They just pass them by. They are just zombies. They don't learn anything. And if they "learn", they are just projecting and immersing themselves still more in the trance of perspectives, ideas, thoughts, "truths" about life. Raise your consciousness, progress, you need to want evolution or you will not get anywhere. Follow what you want to do, but at the same time grow yourself, because everything mirrors you.

@PhilGR Sorry I responded so late. I cannot explain to you how consciousness changes everything. I can not explain because everything is subtle, "invisible", fundamental. I can only say to you to raise your consciousness, to always remind yourself to get your attention in the present. Meditation, for example, is the same thing. You stay still, in silence, only in silence and you start to become mindful of something, something that an unconscious person, an ego, a "something", never can be aware. It is something surreal, very interesting, very different. I can only say to you that consciousness, awareness does wonders. When you walk on this path, everything becomes special, familiar and at the same time unpredictable. Everything is so much better with consciousness, it just opens so many doors to so many unknown worlds. And you will not know this until you walk the path. When you will start to make much better the distinction between unconsciousness and consciousness, you will start to know and see how dull the reality of the majority is, of an unconscious self is. Leo is also talking about this "reality" being a dream. It has to do with raising your consciousness and what I said earlier. Walk on this path, you will not regret. You are just rediscovering yourself. Rediscovering the vast, in fact, infinite you.

@Charlotte We fall of, we get back, but this is what makes us stronger, more conscious, much wiser. You cannot concentrare, recenter yourself because it is hard to be mindful in the center of all influences, events, incidents. You need to remind yourself about yourself, see that you are here, like always, unchanged, untouched, forever here, always ready to be again yourself, your invisible and powerful self. Think of your higher self, think about the absolute and regain focus, feel the clarity, the love, the joy. Do this. Remember to be mindful amidst all the storms, always remember because you are unchanged, you only think you fell off, but you are always the same, the power is still there untouched, independent.

It depends on the other person, if he/she wants to listen or not, if, first of all, is interested in this kind of subject. If not, I can talk with any person about anything, it doesn't matter, it just matters that we have a sincerely good time and our relationship gets consolidated and don't just waste time, keeping each other company. I know when people start walking on this path they want to do the same thing that they always did, talk about everything with everyone, but things change, everything changes. It is really tiring for another person to listen to something that they don't want to, don't have an interest. It is nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of people who are interested in "something different", progress, evolution etc. and you can easily talk with them and really expand their horizon, be a turning point for them, but others don't want that, and it is fine. You must concentrate on yourself and, of course, help those, if you sincerely want, that want help, "new" informations, different informations, because there are plenty of them and they can be really great friends. If you want to talk about this you only need those people that want something from life and are capable of seeing beneath the surface. The others are not a hindrance, but they can represent a challenge because they are only mantaining and living in the circle of distractions.

You're afraid of not being angry, because for the majority that is the normal thing to do, also you don't like to be interpreted by others, others to have some kind of a power over you. But you don't understand that it is all about you, react angrily and you will create conflict, be calm, sympathetic, sincerely loving, friendly and that will actually show a high emotional inteligence. What you want, calm and peace, in fact independence, not being influenced by others reactions is a hard thing to acquire. My advice is to react however you want, it is nothing wrong with that, don't force yourself to be something that you don't understand or don't want to and just learn from the consequences, because everything has a consequence, a follow-up, and when they appear, be mindful and see the source of the conflict, the course of things. At the same time be interested in progress, your evolution, raise your consciousness and everything will come naturally, because everything should come naturally. In vain you force yourself to be something, because you will not succeed, you will just be confused and not feel harmonious. Friendliness and calmness has nothing to do with others having some power over you. They have power when you immerse yourself in their own misery, when you trust them, their reality, their reactions.

Raise your consciousness everyday, try to always be mindful, it doesn't matter if you forget sometimes, it matters only that when you remember you get back at it again, think about what you want to become, visualize your higher self, get in touch with yourself, your independent self, know your invisible and powerful self, trust your intuition more, continue to do what you like and use what you like to become better. If you do these things everything will come naturally and you will start to know in the future what to do without needing to request advice from anyone anymore.

@Kisame Like I said, "you can meditate mindlessly and raise your consciousmess, because it will naturally be raised nevertheless". But there is a difference between real desire and knowing what you do, and just doing it for the sake of an egoic desire, and immediately act neurotically. I didn't say anything about not doing 10 hours a day of meditation, I just emphasized the difference of something done forcefully and something done with desire and love, because this "little" detail will make a difference in your meditation. I am talking from my own experience, if you don't like my advice it is fine.

You measure meditation quality by time. You can meditate mindlessly and raise your consciousmess, because it will naturally be raised nevertheless, but you will be doing everything negligently, senselessly. What you will gain will be lies about your level of consciousness and how fast or slow it is raised. Everything you want to do can be correct. Every individual has its own way of doing things, of organizing himself/herself. But if you want on the whole achievements, gains, you will just force yourself to do something you don't actually want and just be neurotic, prolonging actual "progress", actual realization of yourself.

It is common. You are changing and that means that what you are actually changing are years of habits, repetitive behaviours and thoughts. It is hard, homeostasis is present. But as you continue to always get back to your real self, to clarity (it doesn't matter that you oscillate), you will start to see what is more important, more real, more personal, unique. You will gradually start to see superficial things for what they are, ephemeral things, without real value for an unconscious person, just distractions. Also, don't count on psychedelics for finding yourself, for increasing consciousness. You need to put more effort, work. You need various modalities.

In the past he was boring. As he said, he is becomig more and more authentic, and when you become authentic, you can no longer have an interest in superficial things. Because in superficial things you won't find yourself, you will just find distance, various miserable trances.

Everything should have a cause, a motive. If you don't have one you are just wasting time in the trance of unconsciousness and prolong the finding of a purpose in this world.

Forget about ethics, about automatism. Do whatever you want, then deal with the follow-ups. You will deal with the follow-ups if you are focused on growth. If you are not, then you will just continue to live in the primal circle.

It depends on the individual. Enlightenment doesn't mean you immediately become highly loving, highly friendly, highly intuitive. It all depends on you, on who you are, on your inherent characteristics, on your authenticity. After you see the body for what it is, just a body, just an appearance, you will be able to get to know the other, to know the invisible other and if that other person is compatible with you on a profound level. You will just sense it. Your intuition needs to awaken, your sincere desire to know the other. You need experience, I can not put everything into words. Also, you don't need to be enlightened to discover the other. Sincerity can always be present and your desire to love sincerely - to do something that you don't yet know, because of the identity.

I stutter too. Stutterig is real and needs to be treated. Everyday, every second, try to remember to speak "normally", "correctly" just as you imagine these words would mean, with patience. What is not real, is the anxiety. The anxiety there has nothing to do with suttering itself, it is an illusion, just thoughts attached to "stuttering". The anxiety is telling you the stutter is the cause, but actually it is just a combination between thoughts and the feeling itself. Thoughts are never real, they can refer to something from reality, but they are not real, are just an exaggeration. You need to correct your way of communicating, and it is possible. You need to read everyday with patience and if you stutter try to correct that again and again. You also need everytime you speak to remember to not rush and have patience with yourself, you need to center yourself, to focus, and communicate correctly. You need to get rid of this habit of communicating incorrectly. You also need to relax your mouth, because it is most probably stiff. If it is a habit that you have for many years, it will take some time until you can make a habit of speaking correctly, but you need to focus on your way of speaking everyday, every moment.

Everything can be worthwhile, and everything can be turned into a superficial thing. When we are little, we are curious, we like what is colorful, we like atmosphere in video games and cartoons, we like our creativity to be stimulated. Addictions come from boredom, from lack of knowledge about yourself, lack of vision. It comes when people like to stagnate rather than try to think and find a purpose. When you are little there is no such thing as boredom. You always have a source of creativity that you can benefit from. When we grow up is not about benefiting or developing yourself through what you choose to do anymore, it is about escaping the silence, the no-purpose life that you have. The possible sources of growing become a source of distraction from the boredom of a mediocre life.

@Light Lover What you're looking for is your authenticity. Nothing is worthwhile until you combine your work with yourself, with your higher self. Only the external is never the solution. You start from the internal. The source is the internal. What you find on the internet are superficial informations. Superficial informations are useful and necessary at the beggining, you need to have in the "background" the technical informations, the "superficial" informations. But after you've learnt them, if it is really your domain that you need to master, you will ultimately need to turn to yourself. You need to dictate your work. Yourself, not the apparent "you", but the real you. Until then, your work will be superficial and you won't like it, you will feel a certain emptiness.

If you have to make friends, you make friends out of egotistic desires. Friendships made out of egotistic desires are not friendships, are just some object that keeps you warm for some time, just for some time because consequences never take too long to appear. You will have what you call "friendships" when you'll know what love is. Until then, you will just use other people for your own purposes, and they'll also use you for their own purposes. You just attract what you are.