Hello everybody, I'm new here, so I want to say thank you all for having me here.
I have a question regarding depression. A couple years ago, I was randomly struck with panic anxiety with sensations of derealization. However I don't know what came first the chicken or the egg. (Is it feelings before thoughts or thoughts before feelings?) I have a positive outlook on life for the most part in any circumstances knowing that thoughts of guilt, worthlessness, victimization, and lack of personal responsibility are useless. During that time I was on a path to try to improve myself and then all of a sudden it felt as though I went mad and I became overwhelmed with fear and dread with no reason either. I couldn't find any reason. My childhood was amazing, I liked the people I was around, no history of mental illness, and I had a positive experience with spirituality at the time. Long story short I learned to quell my panic and anxiety by learning how to distance myself from the sensations and thoughts involved in the process and gradually rode the storm until it passed. However, now that that's over, I'm still left with feelings of disinterest in things I enjoyed, fatigue, poor concentration, and low enthusiasm. I got blood work that came back healthy so maybe it's a nuanced psychological dysfunction that I don't know is there? Anyway, my strategy as of right now is setting the intention to cure it by staying in the present apart from the "story" of my depression, regardless of how I feel, think only of what it is that I want to achieve from this, ignoring the "story", and acting in my everyday experience as if I'm already depression free, even if I don't feel like it and obviously not convinced of the "act" for the time being. I hope that by doing these all at once, maybe I'll get rid of this depression.
In regards to this, would anyone have a more educated approach or opinion as to that particular strategy? Is there any scientific evidence that would support something like this? Also, what is it that often comes first regarding our experiences, the feeling or the thought?
I look forward to hearing from you guys and again, thank you.
