Shaun

The best thing you can do for yourself right now is drop all mental masturbation because that's basically what all of this is. Try and see if you can get back with your girlfriend and go out somewhere nice together. As Rupert Spira said, "love is the recognition of our shared being" With that new understanding, your relationship with her might actually deepen. Once you feel stronger you can try different meditations if you haven't done so already.

The exact same thing happened to me and I totally understand what you are going through. Leo's video called "what is god" sent me into a dark solipsistic hell hole from which I have not yet escaped fully from. Yes, nobody exists as any separate physical entity it is just one consciousness interacting with itself, but your finite mind is not the only finite mind. The ideas Leo peddles here are dangerous and go against compassion and respect for others. Why be kind and respectful if all that exists is just you and your mind? Go and read the nature of consciousness by Rupert Spira, although it is a bit unsettling, it's not nearly as nihilistic and dark as the stuff here and actually helped me. I am sorry to say it but I think Actualized.org has turned into a cult and it's only a matter of time before somebody commits suicide. Leo's recent videos have fucked with my head and now I am just going through the motions of life like a dead program. Please correct me everyone if I have totally got the wrong perspective on this?

Imagine you get acid thrown in your face. Present moment or not, it's going to hurt. Suffering is very real unless you have the zen master level of consciousness required to completely detach from it.

Scratching is pleasurable because the itch goes away. Eating past being full just causes suffering so I don't do it. I only tell people I love them when I know they love me back Feels good for a bit and then the pool is too cold.

Leo has done nothing wrong. The sweatshop workers don't exist so they can not be harmed.

No, I can tell the two apart distinctly.

I am just picturing Leo sitting in a corner, foaming at the mouth while rocking back and forwards with his head in his hands.

To me, god is either like a silly ignorant child, picking cats up by the tail and throwing stones at animals, oblivious to the suffering he creates or is just infinitely sadistic and sick by intentionally creating all horrors unimaginable. To say that it is all part of the perfection is unacceptable. Intense suffering is just plain wrong.

I have been feeling better recently so I revisited the what is god video and Leo said it himself that he had an insight and a freakout that his parents and everything else basically don't exist and that he created the whole illusion, which I, writing this post am a part of. He even checked with an enlightened friend to confirm. Why then does he continue to make videos for a non existent audience? Could it be a paradox that he is the only creator yet you, I and everyone else is also? Is it right to say that the world and all in it do not actually exist as matter but it's just all consciousness like what Rupert Spira says? What about the zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, he never talks about himself being god but everything interbeing. The lotus can not be without the mud and so on.

I am pretty happy to play the game if there are other players in it.

The story and Leo seems to be saying that all of reality is just one man's dream yet countless other spiritual teachers say that reality is a dream but it is not a man's dream. All of us appear within and are made of that one I. The madness being peddled here is dangerous and needs to stop. How can you guys honestly live your solipsistic lives believing that your best friends and family have no reality to them whatsoever apart from just a sight or a perception? They are not living their own life with their own set of perceptions in this dream just like you? The very reason you all continue your lives is because part of you knows that's just bullshit.

So is this story is proposing that the infinite I exists simultaneously as everyone in the present moment and each apparently separate person is having their own apparently separate experience?

I'm agreed with you, each of our minds, an apparent limitation of consciousness are creating this reality. Notice I said EACH. There isn't just my mind. That is just stupid. I suggest you people read The Nature of Consciousness by Rupert Spira, it is helping me to undo some of the utterly disgusting devilish trickery Leo spins in his videos, to use his own words. Come on, if your little mind is all that there is then there's nowhere to go from there. There is no point in doing anything for anyone and as I said, you should kill yourself in the hope you can avoid manifesting into such a fake, lifeless living hell. Maybe I am one of the very few on here who still has a brain in manifestation between their ears?

Yet Leo and several others here claim ownership of that consciousness and start calling themselves god. Yes, they are in god, an apparently separate part of god just as a ripple appears in an ocean. The ripple never created the ocean but is an intimate part of it.

Sorry but that is complete madness. If that is true you should kill yourself right now as there is utterly no point. Not even a point in enjoying the dream or being compassionate to others. You are proposing that my mind is the only mind appearing in infinite consciousness? This place is a cult and it is bloody dangerous.

Exactly, I am in a state of limbo just now going between nothing being real and there is only me (solipsism) to all of us sharing our being.

They are facts which Leo presents to us in his videos. Or is he lying to us?

That doesn't address the problem of the solipsistic madness Leo keeps pedalling in his most recent videos. The belief that I am god and all of you people on this forum are just fake cardboard cutouts is pure madness and it goes against the view that all of us are appearances within consciousness and we all exist together as that. As such I can no longer consider Actualized.org as a platform for personal or spiritual development. The stuff he comes out with is dangerous and a catalyst for psychosis and suicide. If you are all that exists and everything is just fake and empty then you may as well be dead. That is not the fullness of life nor is it awakening. I will be going to a mental health specialist to try and repair the damage Actualized. org has done to me before it is too late.

It is a real dream because it happened but it is different in that it takes place inside an already limited self thus is it subject to the limitations of my brain (which leo says doesn't exist) and as such the imagery and events are unstable and poor quality. Just like a computer game never looks as fluid and real as this reality we supposedly share because it takes place inside a processor that is subject to the limitations of matter.

Hey, just as long as my family are real in some way, it's all good. Otherwise might as well be dead. Another thought I have entertained is that due to how truly infinite the possibilities are, that must mean that Game of Thrones actually really happened?

It appears to be from my perspective because if it wasn't limiting itself in some way, in the form of all things I would be aware of the experience of every single living thing in the universe, I would be the godhead itself in its unlimited form.

So are the teachers who say that consciousness takes the form of everything including all 7.5 billion of our finite minds wrong?

So what are you then? Just a figment of my imagination? You are not having an experience of your own? And another thing, if Teotl or consciousness was such a smart trickster pretending it isn't god, I would never have seen any spiritual awakening videos and would be living life as normal not even considering this stuff.

Ok then, when I ask myself if I exist, I do in a sense but all there is to my experience is the knowing of it. Now whether or not the other people I perceive around me are having their own experience or they are just made of consciousness experiencing itself or they are just projections of my mind and I am all that there is (solipsism), is unknown to me at this stage.

One day I hope to. I will just keep going with the meditation and give the mental masturbation and conceptualization a rest for a while as it is doing me no good.