Shaun

By this do you mean higher perspectives or states of consciousness?

Could you please link me to the best basic self inquiry you know of?

That was my previous understanding but the exercises are trying to point me towards realising experientially that this computer that I'm seeing right now and my sense perceptions are literally all that there is and I am to feel totally alone in the universe. These exercises are guiding me to the realisation that there are no other perspectives.

Will do, I seem to have this idea that I am the only perceiver but that too may turn out to be false as there are no perceivers, not even me according to another exercise.

I know it's a game now and as such, the magic has been totally lost. I wish to turn the game off but can't. Still, I do the practices just in case I may be wrong or am missing something.

Interesting report, can mushrooms give the same effect?

I notice a lot of my own shit, and its extent is vast. When I start psychedelics properly, I can hopefully work on that.

Over the last few months I have been going through what is most likely the dark night of the soul. I used to love film photography, 16mm film movie making, electronics and engineering. All interest in these things has been completely lost and I am in the process of selling nearly everything as it's all just clutter and too much hassle to me now. All these things I have accumulated only gave temporary happiness at best. All that matters to me now is getting on with spirituality as I can't see any way out of the wage slavery I'm in. Getting out of that would be yet more hassle. Does spirituality normally have this effect?

I agree with you on the point about animals but I'm on about people here. We are full of shit, resist everything and create our own suffering. It's a hard thing to get out of but it's also by design. I have tried cold showers, I just stand under the cold water for about 20 seconds until it warms up, even that's tough.

Or you could ask if the child exists and who is receiving the teaching? Is there anyone to give or receive the teaching? I don't know if what I said is valid or naive, I hope it's the latter.

It is often said that after you have sex once, you want it more and more.

I was reading this whole thread today at work, so does that mean I created the entire thread?

I'm facing the same issue, I want to be with someone and experience sex at least once in my life but I don't know how to relationship. It would probably end up being a distraction. After all, the entire universe and the nature of reality is far simpler to understand than a woman, so that's where I'm better focusing my energy.

Being can not be harmed, you are right there and I can confirm that in my experience. However, for me, whatever that is, the harm can be very real and I suppose it isn't an issue if the death is quick but when it is slow and painful, even though consciousness can not be harmed, the experience of torture is still somehow terrifying and utterly unbearable, especially for someone without this understanding.

I have spent some time contemplating this and literally EVERYTHING I do is to a greater or lesser extent survival. Even the mediation and spiritual practices in a twisted sort of way. The only thing I could come up with that is not survival, is consciousness. It has no such needs. Any thoughts or pointers?

Thanks for that, I will check it out. This crisis is going to last a long time until I accept what was said in the radical implications of oneness video. I hope you haven't watched it because I wouldn't want you to go through the same.

Just because we can't directly experience an objective external reality, why is it we assume that there's no such thing?

I really hope you are right and Leo is wrong then. Maybe the mushroom can help to bring understanding along with meditation. I managed my first hour meditation today but it felt like ages.

I really don't want to be separated nor do I want to think I exist anymore. When one becomes god though, they just get bored and start the entire cycle of creation and suffering all over again. I'm so stuck, I thought enlightenment was the end of rebirth but it's not.

The thing is, it's not delusion, it will happen and you will live through some shit you can't possibly imagine.

I don't think you have.

Have you watched the video called the radical implications of oneness? If not, go and watch it and you will see what I'm on about.

I wish I could find someone to speak to in person about this. I am in a place full of people who have no idea about this stuff and I kind of wish I could be like them. It is so difficult living this life knowing that in future lives I could very well be getting my throat ripped out or something else much worse. The torture goes on infinitely, there is no escape.

Many sources confirm this. Only thing left is to have a breakthrough and see for myself.

I kind of expected spirituality to bring back the joy of life which I experienced when I was a child plus greater consciousness but now I am seeing that it's not like that at all. Spirituality is the most terrifying thing you can do. It's like I don't see the point in creating anything because I am all there is. The only perspective is mine here and now typing these words.