Shaun

This is brilliant.

Since it is often said that we create our own realities, does that mean that when I look at a blue car, for example, another person in my reality may also confirm it is blue, but from their perspective in their reality it is probably a green motorbike instead?

Leo said this last year, and that's it, I finally see it. There is no me here, there is no other either. There is no other experience within infinite consciousness other than the computer in front of my face right now. People wouldn't discount their experience like that if reality really was any other way. I created rupert spira and his notion of many finite minds within consciousness in a last ditch attempt to keep the illusion of separation going in some way. This post is just me keeping a record within myself that time for me is nearly up. I'm going to go insane and get sectioned soon. I'm afraid I'm finished and can't complete the path. I want everything to stop and can't take it any longer. I'm out of control, what the fuck have I created, please self, tell me how to fucking end this forever.

It's an effective practice, sure but will my whole life be nothing but handling strong emotions? I don't know. What would this exercise do for me?

Has anyone ever heard the saying when I become enlightened everyone becomes enlightened? Does that not further reinforce that it is me creating all of this and it's connected to me?

God will create misery to experience misery. That's god godding. Another thing that gets me is when I talk to Leo and he says "I'm only as real as you make me" or "You made up this forum" who exactly is he addressing? The thing that thinks it's a person or is he literally trying to talk past the person to the consciousness which is god in order to achieve some sort of strange higher purpose?

This is going to be next to impossible to shift out of my mind. A lot of totally deluded people appear to feel happy emotions. Emotions are not very good litmus test for truth.

Honestly, if you are really a real perspective there just like mine, then much of the self inquiry and content Leo has posted here needs to be subject to some serious scrutiny, Not just Leo but there are a few other teachers too.

I really can't help my misery as reality is not under my conscious control and may never be. It is just too much to accept and hold space for. The cosmic joke isn't something I find funny, seeing that it was just me all along. To me, it's wholly fucked up.

I am not absolutely saying you're wrong but it is hard to see it any other way. Leo is not the only spiritual teacher who gives these ideas. I am not saying I'm leo or anyone else's imagination. Trump, Leo and all the rest of it is just me dreaming up stuff and talking to myself. They are my imagination. All my memories of childhood and birth are the same, just a convincing back story.

Maybe you're right but I highly doubt it. I have asked Leo if I should help others to awaken and he responded with this It still begs the question though, should I help others to awaken? You are doing it so there must be something I am missing. When anyone on says "You"me " or "MY" It is really pointing to the one, which is me. Again, it's just me trying to create the illusion of connection and others while not being directly conscious that I'm doing it. Accepting that is extremely challenging.

So, are the self inquiry exercises bullshit? Anyone who does these exercises properly will end up in my position. That's if there was anyone else to do them. Damn fucking right it can't.

I totally see it. My presence makes the movie of reality run. This lonely movie. No me, no reality. My gaze breathes life into all those I love, they can't animate themselves.

I relate to them based on their level of consciousness. None of them understand this stuff so I just talk and laugh with them about normal stuff. Funnily enough, I get on quite well with other people. I regret this whole act of limiting myself into this wage slave human form and the many other forms which may follow. I used to love photography , making movies on my 16mm cine camera and then developing the movie film. I stopped that toot sweet and sold all of my equipment after discovering that there are no perceivers and it's just me here. It would be like me filming a blockbuster, watching it myself and burning the film reel. The only things I still do are meditation, cold showers and jogging.

Please explain or let me see how.

I am not happy with what I am. I put myself into limited forms and punt myself back and forward between joy and misery endlessly. I want to stop the cycle completely.

It can't bring me peace so long as I remember this. You can't seem to fathom the magnitude and implications of oneness, it is all your worst nightmares and more. The only way out is to end all experience permanently. I can stop thoughts as a human so surely as god I can stop manifesting all this stupid shit and shut myself the fuck up.

The infinite future lifetimes, including the ones I will live through without this understanding. There's no telling what lies in store and I can't cope with it.

There's no body here, my body is an illusion. I've directly experienced this. Nothing is being separated.

I said so because the whole thing is out of control. Let's be direct here, stop talking about "other people" as they are simply not there. I just imagine them to not feel lonely and only treat them with care and respect because it's just how I am and it works for survival. The most infinitely loving thing I can possibly do is to end everything.

I know this, the whole thing is me. I just need a way to shut myself down completely so I won't create any experience.

I do not have access to my full power, so it definitely is not what I want it to be.

Yes I am in that I don't care about that shit anymore. I could happily just lie down and die if that was an escape from suffering but it isn't, there's no escape. It's infinite.

Suffering exists because god isn't Bob Ross.

I will, after I complete my day of wage slavery.