Dragallur

@quantum Yeah, I downloaded a book about dream yoga though I did not finish it yet. Your life-purpose is something with programming and math am I right (I have noticed some fractals in your journal)?

@quantum Interesting. In a week or so it will be 200 days since I started though I already did LDing before for two months or so but that is about 2 years ago at least. I had in these 200 days 8 lucid dreams. Basically for me it depends greatly on the amount of sleep I get so since I have holidays right now I expect that I will work toward another one at least. @Anna Konstantaki @quantum Well first my motivation was to be able to fly in dreams, meet with people, discover cool places. But for some time now, I do not do it anymore primarily because of the lucid dreams. I found out that dreams can be quite interesting once you have more of them written down. I feel like I learn some stuff from them which is important for me to understand myself. I guess I could use some other waking process too, like shadow work or something like that, but I feel pretty motivated towards dreams and I hope that as my consciousness increases, which I am sure it will, I will turn the dreams into lucid dreams and this way maybe even get more time in my life. My goal is to be able to meditate during dreams or do self-inquiry cause I have heard that it can be pretty powerful. Right now I am also trying to implement some techniques like FILD to increase my rate of LDs so I will see how this goes. @quantum I am still in a school (10th grade) and physics is my most favourite subject, particularly astronomy so I want to do that some time in the future. Otherwise I use Khan Academy and some other internet and YouTube resources.

Just a normal dream I have sometimes big problems with remembering dreams so thats why I am so happy about it . You are trying lucid dreaming too right?

5th-9th days: So today I returned from the trip I was one. Quite nice. I did self-actualization and thought a lot here you go: Meditation First day I did not do 60 minutes! I kind of thought that I would do it later in a train but then I did not, happens, every other day 60 minutes though which makes up to 252 minutes. I am thinking about making some kind of challenge when I have holidays now. Self-inquiry So cool. I will write some insights later I guess but I did a lot of Self-I. I realized that if I walk and not speak with anybody there is really no problem with doing self-inquiry so I used that time a lot with together: 444 minutes. I will have to read a bit from Be as you are, to get hold of the process again to check how much I am going wrong direction. Otherwise had some insights which i later discarded as thoughts, I have some issues that really need to be resolved some kind of paradox. Lucid Dreaming Very good job with this one too. In all four nights I had at least one dream. Twice one and twice three dreams. I got lot of sleep too which was nice. And today I woke up three times in the night always having some dream. I had the longest dream so far also. Will tell more about it later. Physics I discussed some basic stuff with my friend and I calculated some mechanics, pretty good too. Also revived some calculus. GG. Negatives Its getting late though I think I sometimes forget about ego and then it hurts me otherwise nothing serious though I have to check to not fall in the trap of "I have to do self-inquiry all the time because thats what is going to get me where I want to be! Positives Great mood. People around me keep me amused. They are just getting upset about such petty things. Dragallur PS: will extend this tommorow.

Have you ever wondered how does Zen calendar look like? I guess there is only one page titled NOW and no space to write anything.

4th day: Meditation Been meditating for 60 minutes as always. I was sitting and waiting for concert to start. Not best place to meditate I guess but it was quite ok, at least it was done in one shot! Self-inquiry Record here! I was on a concert as I said so there I self-inquired for 73 minutes. Before that at home I did 60 minutes which is 133 minutes! Now sure time is nice though the question is if I achieved something. Oh, I? Really are we there again after this day? Who asks that? And this... this? Who am I? It is just a thought. I am not a thought. It is just a thought, again. Who am I then? Stop thinking. Just a thought. Nothing to worry about. Who would even worry? Thought again. Silence? This seemed to be a step forward. I guess that if you have ever self-inquired you know what I am talking about. Lucid dreaming Nice job today. I had one dream but again it was pretty powerful one as on the first day. There were lot of emotions packed in this dream though the plot was kind of dumb. I wondered if it could happen that I got too hooked up by dreams. I mean these two I mentioned really impressed me. The thing is with dreams that they fade away. Mind has some kind of mechanism that is very good at deleting dreams. I am not talking only about the fact that it is hard to remember them without training but also that after you remember them, they will spontaneously fade and things that were very clear before are then kind of dull. For example lucid dreams are so vivid after you wake up but then.. its not such a strong memory. Does it take off the value of dreams and lucid dreams? No, not at all. I think that in my situation I got as much as I could from these two dreams and learned about myself. The thing is that in dreams you are spontaneous and things happen there in the way you want quite often. You can then have a great simulation of your subconscious. For example though no one IRL would probably guess it, I am very emotional guy. I can perfectly see this in my dreams where I act so freely not fearing of any awkwardness or so. I cry, I feel completely happy about random stuff. I cried actually in the first dream, I cried on girls shoulder. Those were tears of happiness and I felt so amazing at that moment! There are lot of things that you can learn from dreams, thats for sure. Physics Did Khan Academy calculus today. Not so much but still cooler than days before. Negatives I procrastinated in better way. No computer games today! Nice job pal I spent some time on YouTube that I did not need to spend. Next time I go from school it would be great if I just started to meditate right away. Positives High level of happiness. Comfortable about stuff. Its funny how when I say something purely to boost my ego I notice it so fast. Its like a flash even about the smallest thing! So cool, I love this. I need to become more aware, this will definitely boost my self-inquiry and any other things. Dragallur (I wont post for about four or five days because I go on a trip. Of course all meditation and Self-i. is must and I will summarize it when I return)

3rd day: Meditation and self-inquiry 1 hour of meditation (40 min SDS and 20 guided) 1.5 hours of self-inquiry (20+40+30min) I always end up with 40 minutes on SDS when I sit in the Turkish kind of way (no-lotus). I am not probably going to repeat guided meditation, I just create do nothing from it always. Self-inquiry was great today. In the first twenty minutes I realised that I am not controlling my body often. My movement does not need to be accompanied by thought. It has to happen I have no control over it. It dawned on me that it is the same with thoughts, I already trust in determinism for quite long time now but to get the feel of it is of course best. Thoughts just come and go, they just arise and disappear again. I already realised few days back that future and past does not have a real place in reality. Future is quite simple, its just in our minds and it feels kind of strange to say that it is encoded in the reality. Past on the other seems to be all around. But is it? Those are just are thoughts that interpret some things some way... what continues? Lucid dreaming 3 dreams again! Great, I went to sleep at the time as the day before yesterday and I got three dreams though they were not special and were kind of short it does not matter so much. Physics To be honest, nothing. I suck since I created this journal (and days back). I did wrote post about binary system though so that at least. Problems Still problem with procrastination (internet game). It got me even little bit frustrated in the evening after watching Halloween special which is great video btw. Positives Watched also "Spiritual Seeker" video. Great, loved this. I guess that I understand why it wont help to get flooded by information about enlightenment. Simply its not the ego that is getting enlightened. You are just adding stuff that you need to get rid of anyway so you are making it harder for yourself. Otherwise, nice day as always. Loved the SDS that I did, it was a huge improvement from my previous meditations where I was doing a lot of shit around but this time I was really into it. Dragallur

2nd day: Meditation and self-inquiry 1 hour do nothing. Had to split because of food, that happens quite often actually. 20 minutes of it were Leo's guided meditation but I kinda ignored him. Self-inquiry was spontanous in school which was a bit interesting and then I finished it at home plus added 30 minutes so its 90 minutes today! Its funny how when you are thinking about ego death, which means that ego is thinking about its own death it does not take it personally at all. We are just so used to think and not do anything else. Also question "Who am I?" does not make really sense I guess. "Who" implies that you are person. "am" implies that you exist and it is whole just a thought. If you change it on "What am I" it does not get much better because "What" implies object. Oh yeah, language. Lucid dreaming Forgot 4 dreams! Two I got almost and the other were just flashes that I could not catch. FILD did not work out well, I fell asleep. Physics During math class I was happily practicing derivation while class moved on limits. It was fun but lot of ego. Otherwise no physics today Problems: Lot of procrastination at home. Probably because I had so much time today but at the same time so little, I could have done lot of productive things. Positives: Except few random moments I was quite happy today. Especially when observing other people. This actually brings me to something I want to resolve soon. In the last post I wrote in the end "not that I do either" (know what is going on). The thing is that when I am honest to myself (which I am getting much better on I guess everyday (am I? :D)) I know that I feel superior to others. I feel that knowing about ego, moralizations, lies, enlightenment and other stuff makes me superior.. is there anything bad with it? No. But I want to feel the truth. Of course I can think my way out of this but it wont disappear. Probably going to use "awareness alone is curative" next time as well as on procrastination. Dragallur

1st day: Meditation and self-inquiry Both one hour. Pretty bad session of do-nothing though. Tommorow I will have more time. Kind of stucked in self-inquiry. Watched Leo's last video. I am too young for this yet so I will just wait, which is good because I am not feeling like doing these things yet. Lucid dreaming One of the best days for dreams I had and it was without LD. Three dreams, one extremely emotional, I have been thinking about it for whole day. Dreams do really have a power in them. I will maybe make thread about it once. Physics Just did some experiment with circuits, it was kinda fun but not much time spend. Problems: Monday is probably going to be one of the worst days for time. I need to go to bed soon because of LDing and all spiritual work takes 2 hours which means that it is almost impossible to do anything else. I am extremely connected to my body, need to think about it? Positives: Though when I feel happy I always remember Jed McKenna: "being happy means just having a good dream"... I did felt great today except evening when I watched Leos video and I got kind of miserable for about 30 min. about enlightenment. I feel pity for all of those people around.. they are just living their lives without knowing what is going on around them, not that I do either Dragallur

"Things only this community can understand"

@Emerald Wilkins Though I did not do much study on vaccines I take it as vaccines were the things that started to protect us from diseases and even that we do not have them right now around it does not mean that if we stop vaccinating we will be healthy. Of course that if one person does not vaccinate then she or he wont probably get sick in western civilization because everyone else is vaccinated. Than there are of course extreme cases like the cows in China and probably many others but it seems to me that we should continue in global vaccination if we want to keep disease back.

@quantum I think that by using this: http://www.unblocker.yt/en/ you can watch it.

@Mikey I do not think that Leo wants to have any kind of mysticism around him. Also I think that he does not think that astral projection is a real thing though I might be wrong. It is not proven as far as I know. Also I do not think that these things are everything to him, where did you find this?

Leo already answered this. He said that it is low priority for him.

@philosogi Great! Thanks for the idea, sounds cool

Could you list some of those questions please (the easier part)?

So is this the reason why people often cry and have depression when they do hard core self-inquiry and enlightenment stuff?

Hi, the first think I would do on your place is to watch the basics about meditation and start to meditate 20 minutes EVERY DAY from now on for the rest of the life (after some intervals I would increase the length to about 1 hour). You will be really grateful to your past-self if you are going to be able to hold this habit. Try to make a routine that is something basic. You do not need to think about no-self yet, just try to order these basic things you mentioned in your life. Be patient as Leo says, because real self-actualization takes lot of work. Try to use time as best as possible and I wish you all best on your journey Dragallur

Hi, I wanted to share with you this quite interesting insight. About two weeks back I walked this really long distance, at least for me. It was 65.5 kilometers with the change of elevation of 2700 meters. It was quite hardcore trip but I noticed some small insights about myself and I kind of ordered everything in my head at that time. The problem was that there were also other people around so I did not have so much time alone. Yesterday I walked again, this time about 65.1 kilometers with just 400 meters of ups. I did walking meditation for about 70 minutes for the first time, quite without any instructions since I forgot to study it but it was quite cool. Such a walk really clears your head from everything there is around. I greatly recommend something like this for anyone who has too much things in her/his head or wants to make some big decision. What is your experience with such a long trip? Dragallur

Hmm.. maybe you have too much stuff around to watch. Still nice sport.

Great! This is exactly the thing I was talking about! It actually very interesting with the distance. Before the first 65 I walked roughly 30 many years back and I was not playing much sport, just cycling from time to time. Now that I know that it is such a great experience I definitely want to continue with more walking and maybe running.

Thanks for correcting me Leo, I will do as you advise

Sounds quite interesting, I will definitely think about it!

Hi, good you want to start it the first place! 1) This entirely depends on you, I personally do the "do nothing method, simplest meditation possible" and I think it is good to start with. 2) Depends probably on you again, I would not choose environment where people would talk to me but park in town could be quite ok with some cyclists around or so. 3) I wondered this one too. Try to keep the conservation radically short (Friend even made me a card: "do not disturb") then, well if you feel as though the session was "killed" by this conservation and that you want to do it whole in one run, do so.. but when you will meditate for 60 minutes at some point and 1 minute before end someone would interrupt you, it would not really change much I think to continue with one minute, not 60. The important thing is the long run, so you do not want to be disturbed often. 4) Be completely sure that you will do it always, even if your close one die, do it... Otherwise also enjoy it as much as possible, you will find out after some point that meditation is good, very good! Also even if you do not want to so much, try out at least one more technique, you may find surprising when one is better for you than another.

Hi, I wanted to ask a quick question, are there video from Leo or other sources you know explaining how to rise awareness? I just watched the video about "staggering depth of your unawareness revealed". Thanks for response.