Dragallur

112th day: Leo's video So I was "pushed" to write a post about how I did not like this video. I started to watch it again and take notes to gather up some arguments. In the short talk below, which is one of the most shitties things I have ever done in my entire life I sum up what mistakes I made and why my arguments did not really work. I did not take a look on the other rationality video but when I think about it now maybe the principles I used now would work too. My talking is really shitty, especially I did not go through what I want to say actually but next time it will be better. The only important part is actually the last minute or so. This will be updated in few minutes I forgot some stuff (21:47 GMT-1) UPDATE: I forgot to say some things about this day! It was very cold today and since I do not heat my room it is even colder than normally. At one point during my self-inquiry which was today 100 minutes I decided that I will go running. I went without a coat, only in shirt and jacket and without gloves which was a bit problem because after a while I did not feel my fingers anymore . I decided to go back even though I expected to run less than 30 minutes which is something I do not want. Towards the end even my fingers somehow heated up though it hurt as hell. I ran bit more than 6 kilometers in 35 minutes which is nice. I took cold shower too afterwards and felt really great! My diabolo is not here yet, hopefully tommorow. I think I will speak about my free time in the next "episode". Dragallur PS: Quantum... thanks so so much!

Try to write your journal less in a way of list of things and more in your thoughts, check out @quantum for example. Also if you write why and how things did not work out they should have you can learn more.. especially if you write only stuff that did not work out then you will not have to care about it anymore

Good job, it might be hard first if you jumped right from 20 minutes to 60 but it will pay off by such interest that it will blow your mind (though I only meditate 1 hour every day for about 6 months)

111th day: Leo's video So I just saw Leo's last video. It kind of reminds me of rant against rationality though this one was way better. Now the whole message is kind of interesting, I have not fully realised something like that for myself but there were couple of points that I want write here that bit annoyed me. First of all.. science. He says that Big Bang Theory does not explain what happened before and so on, how did big bang happen? He also says that scientists and such are ignorant about that or something along these lines. I just want to point out that this is false, it is quite clear between physicists that science did not figure it out. Actually we are quite sure about the time 10^-31 of second but not further back.. see? We just dont know which is completely normal in science! There is no theory that would be able to cover the time even further. Also, science does not think anything. Towards the end of the video Leo said something like that, maybe he meant scientists but that would be just vague generalization. What is the problem with infinite regression? I personally do not find one, how do we know that infinite regression is something bad or untrue? And what about infinite cycle? Why not? What is the problem with time and space just coming into existence? Maybe thats what happened. There were definitely other things but it does not really matter so much, I am not sure about time myself and thats ok, I just want to show that Leo sometimes says random things and uses logical fallacies. I actually do not know if I am looking forward to any of his videos about quantum physics, its just that I fear he would misunderstand the concepts after reading some popular physics books.. I mean, what else can he do, there is not time for him to master also quantum physics. I just wanted to write that people are accepting what he says a lot but in the comments under the video some are fairly sceptical which is nice to see too. All in all, I need to experience the stuff for myself. Diabolo In the end I decided I will buy diabolo for my juggling after school activity and right now I am waiting for it! I am really looking forward to listen to some audiobook and train. Firstly I thought that it would be waste of time but now I am sure that I want to try it. The Grand Project In the morning I wrote a bit as an introduction to new visitors on the still non existing page. I will look at it later and rewrite it many times, it is basically the most important part YFU meeting Yesterday I said that I am meeting today with other exchange students and other families. I was surprised by how good my german was! Otherwise its been a while since I was in contact outside of school with normal teenagers and I actually did not realise the huge difference. So hooked up on their phones, so.. uhhhh. Well some people there seemed cool and I talked with them a bit. Neti-Neti Today I did Neti instead of self-inquiry. Pretty intense, at one point I just said at one point whispering "outloud": "What the fuck". At some point I understood way better how names and labeles do not describe stuff, it is not always so easy for me but today it went very well when looking on carpet. During one walking self-inquiry I decided that I will just go without breathing. I decided I will do it until the lamp before me. Even before I got there I was really out of oxygen but then I forcefully extended it by another lamp. Then my board with map, then by another lamp. In the end I felt like totally dead, my legs were totally burning, it was cool Sometimes I need to do some random movements, its funny and might look like I have a stroke or something Oh I wanted to write something more but then forgot what.. oh well. Dragallur

@Gabriel Antonio I think yes at least a bit.. she is scientist and she kinds of discards lot of things. One time I was reading first book of Jed McKenna and she asked me what am I reading and then she asked me with this strange tone if I want to become monk or what.. we will see how she takes. She was even very sceptical about lucid dreaming.

110th day: Enlightenment work Today before I started SDS in the morning i (my intuition) decided to it super hardcore without moving my eyes and so on. I started and I think about after 30 minutes I got this warm feeling in my leg. That happened to me before but this time I decided to let it go and continue. After some more time I tried to flex my lower leg muscle without otherwise moving. It was SO slow! I thought about it for few seconds and then tried to move my toes. It went pretty hard so I "knew" that I cut out my bloodflow. I stretched my whole leg before me, it felt so weird and I could NOT move my ankle. So weird. Imagine the thought and the feeling how you move your limb but then it does not move, nothing like that ever happened to me. After few minutes it was fine, luckily. Intuition I just took a cold shower. For some reason I am shivering even now.. it was quite cool anyway. I got this feeling that tommorow I could try to write something for G. Project though I also meet with YFU (the organization I am here in Germany with) so that will take about 6 hours of the day. Physics Not really. I am stuck on one topic and I need to solve that.. otherwise I was reading The Book of Not Knowing a lot. Wow, the book is amazing, its as simple as that! No computer games (23 streak) Today I also watched Mr. Nobody because somebody shared it on the list with movies that got to do something with enlightenment. It was great, really liked it. @quantum shared a great "speech" of hers, I am thinking that for some reason I could do that too... just talk about my thoughts. I am fucking liar. I want to tell my mum that I meditate, thats one of my burdens that I need to leave behind. Dentist went ok. Most of it was just color from tee! Now its 2 weeks since I upgraded my teeth hygiene again. Dragallur

Great, I enjoyed listening to this! Sounds like a good idea might try that some time though it wont be because of chakras probably.

Glitter of particles not found indoors or outdoors? Are you sure? You are looking on stuff that is kilometers above you, do you think you can actually identify much of it? Heavily sprayed sky? Have you ever heard of placebo effect? Can you share a study where people who are outside and inside are compared? Thats what I call scientific proof when you mention it, you would also feel bad afterwards, it is not like the outside and inside are so closed from each other. Can you share those independent lab researches? I have found only people doing science wrongly, as the link that I share about the original video mentioned. Oh wait, Vatican coin, could it be just contrail (and how would Vatican coin prove chemtrails btw even if they meant chemtrails by it? Why non of the military pilots ever shared this with a public? How are they influencing games set in medieval times? You spit out evidence but I can not see how it makes sense.

107th day: Enlightenment work One day I did only one hour of SDS and that was all, I admit it . Self inquiry these days is more and more about senses.. thoughts are direct experience right? In the way that when you experience thoughts no matter what they say, you are experiencing something. That would make sense then why you can not describe with thoughts what you ACTUALLY see.. imagine describing what you see by smell, or by sound. Thoughts are often "misused" as the tool to describe all the other senses, you can also misuse senses too. If you hear car right behind you braking rapidly you might imagine as an image that there is car almost knocking you down, this of course happens without single thought. I have this feeling that paragraph like this will be destroyed to pieces by my future me Physics and The Grand Project So.. I have definitely been doing quite some math and physics though not on Khan Academy for example. As I said before that I think I start to understand the core of basics of derivations and that I would be able to explain it to anybody very well, I am doing some work on different "systems" in math. The fun thing is that I am not reading anything about it. The whole thing originated with me wanting to be able to calculate extremely fast. It is amazing to truly understand how much decimal system is arbitrary and why we actually add one more symbol when counting to 10 and so on. I am working on neat "lessons" on paper from my astronomy book that I got from Christmas, I find them kind of cool and they might help to create posts for TGP. Mindfulness Still working on mindfulness. No computer games (20 streak) Stuff I mentioned that something gave me "depressive" period for a while. It was that I got problems with my teeth again which for something completely surprising. Tomorrow I am going to dentist again. I studied some stuff throughtout the last days and I plan on improving my diet. For example I eat way too much bread. Also I upgraded my dental hygiene. I find the whole thing really kind of upsetting when I see the people around me just eating all the chocolate and not flossing and so on while I do all of that and rinse my mouth after each meal and still I fuck it up. Do you still remember my first actualization rule? It was about mistakes.. here I made the mistake two times and now I am confident in my awareness to carry through finally and learn from it, it was stupid, I do not know what state other peoples teeth are in but this kinda sucks. I am getting better in the art of taking problem deadly serious but at the same time not totally fucking up my mind with it throughtout the whole day. I also bought some chewing gum without sugar to improve as much as I can, the whole thing was lot of emotional labor but it is NOT BAD that it happened. I want to have strict sleeping schedule again. I love life. Dragallur

Today I had dinner full of vegetables, many kinds and it was amazing! Firstly I planned to just eat bread with cheese but hey, I can see that there is something cool to vegan lifestyle and that you definitely do not lose much! I even ate celery which is vegetable that I used to hate.. I think you had some influence over me, thanks @quantum !

@Mango1998 Once you start this journey it is hard to face how others are screwing their lifes up. I find it very difficult to talk to somebody about improving once life.. they "want" to be stucked and nowadays I just find it better to rather show that it is working for me and inspire them than to persuade them to do what I do.

104th day: So I was one week in Denmark for vacation, quite interesting. I could post something but I rather decided not to and I was a bit lazy. There is probably only one thing I want to mention right now.. The day that I came there which is more than a week now I had one day completely shitty. I did not have such a bad day in a long time. I would not describe it depressed, it was kind of empty, I felt nihilistic but at the same time it was something different. The whole thing was probably triggered with a little problem that I have right now and need to solve (maybe will mention later).. then it was fine. I am quite relaxed these days and pondering upon my emotions and such stuff. Leo has some good videos now! Dragallur

You can not know it for certain but mind you for practical purposes it is quite useful to not believe in chemtrails. Simple assignment of probabilities will show you that it is not very beneficial to move somewhere to Africa where you could be sure that chemtrails are not no matter if they exist somewhere else. But as you say, for the work that we are doing here it could be worthwhile to ponder upon this.

Good! Even if you considered and believed all points in some conspiracy you would not be crazy I like how far you are able to go and it definitely amazes me, just keep calm my mind and dont get burried too deep in shit.. those conspiracies are also made up on hatred, falsehood, manipulation and ego.. there is no other way around that! While you work, be sure to check out Moon landing conspiracy or creationism or global warming deniers.. there is tremendous amount of shit but from where you are going maybe even thing to learn!

Because they are not at the same distance, Sun is 150 mil. km away which is why. Basically Sun is shining on Moon from huge distance and we are looking little bit from the side, but compared to the whole picture we are really small there. If Moon would be making its own light I bet people from Apollo would notice.

Is tea good for human body? And do you drink tea from sacks?

Since my whole response got deleted somehow I will make it shorter this time. First, do. sanity checks to see if this conspiracy makes sense. Why spray from such a height? How do the pilots not share it with the world? Why does the government not use easier techniques? How all the hostile countries cooperate together? Contrails persist depending on the weather. check out this response to the video, it basically debunks it with reasonable arguments: contrailscience.com "debunked what in the world are they spraying". Science is not easy to do and some people really screw it up. be cautious when you share and feed such conspiracies... there are people who have their lives and who probably do not want all of their work to be thrown out of the window. Dragallur

@quantum chemtrails are conspiracy theory that does not have proper evidence, why does it make you sad?

91st day: Enlightenment work Writing times here is kind of pointless since I do not even post everyday, but hey today I did 2 hours of self-inquiry. Quite interesting, weird experiences when looking into mirror or doing random shit like standing and sitting up repeatidly is happening more and more often Physics Uhh.. more info down: Mindfulness Quite fine, needs work, long periods of mindfulness are really powerful. No computer games (4 streak) Christmas All right, this was pretty interesting, my first Christmas without my family. The presents are the important thing of course so I will share the ones that are not chocolate (for some reason I have pile of chocolate in my drawer and I keep getting more). Book: Dangerous Women Stories by various masters in science-fiction and fantasy. Put together by some guy Gardner Dozois and all mighty George R. R. Martin! Yeah I have to admit that I really like Song of Ice and Fire. Oh well, thats for my actualization . I started the first few pages though it has like 700 I am really looking forward to it since I have no problem with reading fantasy or watching lighter science-fiction movies... I still think there is art to them and things to learn from. Book: An Introduction to Modern Astrophysics Hell yeah. The keyword is "modern", the stuff following the page around 50 gets complicated, like a lot! I started working very well to understand first things and I definitely love it. It is ok if I will have to stop with it, few years later I will get the knowledge and finally break through! (It has 1500 pages) Book: The Book of Not Knowing Probably only one that the reader is familiar with . I am on a page 30 or so, seems very interesting I like how Ralston mentions Einstein and other scientists and combines it with enlightenment work! (700 pages). Yup this is probably the largest amount of pages I have got for Christmas ever, I dunno how I will transport it back home Music: Winter's Gate As you might have noticed my most favorite group is Insomnium (melodic death metal) and in September they released new CD Winter's Gate. I heard it but then Century Media Records deleted it from YouTube, now I wished it and I can listen to it! What happened to my challenge you ask? I waited until today and I decided I do not need to continue. It was actually pretty easy after the first or two days and the only problem I realised is having music in the background so I will stop doing that. The music itself is masterpiece. Here is my favorite quote that I like to put onto enlightenment work: "Sunless, starless, pathless is the way." Whole CD is based on Viking story that the main singer wrote and it consists of one 40 minute track! The case of breatharianism and other supernatural phenomena Alright I have cleared up mind about this again a little bit more. Breatharianism is basically living on Prana which is some kind of energy. I have considered it through and through again after quantum sent me a video (sorry [1]I did not listen to it whole, only about half). So.. what kind of annoys me is that there is no definite proof and that people died when trying to learn it. There is this woman Jasmuheen I think she is called who kind of brought this to west, she has been investigated at her home after she agreed upon long term "watching". First after losing weight and being dehydrated she said that because of bad air from highway she can not live on prana so they moved to nature but she kept on losing her weight, her pulse was getting higher and higher and she was more and more dehydrated and then the people who filmed it decided to stop it before she comes to harm. Well... why would she agree in the first place if she knew that she is not able to do it? Why was she not able to do it if she is able to do it? If breatharianism is possible it is EXTREMELY powerful tool, like really! Anybody with higher goals and empathy towards humanity would do anything to prove this to world. Jasmuheen was actually even offered 1 million dollars if she proves that it is possible! Anybody with little bit of thinking could calculate how many lives can 1 million dollars save, and it would not be so hard if you practice the method for years anyway. Take Wim Hof for example. Guy who clearly shows signs of supernatural abilities, almost climbed Mount Everest in shorts only (this is little bit more complicated), ran record in Polar circle half marathon in only shorts (this time even without shoes) and ran in Namibian desert marathon without any water.. I call this quite a proof for his case and he has official Guiness world record in being submerged in ice for 2 hours (I think) without his body's surface temperature going down. He has breathing method that enables him this with lot of practice.. he said that he wants the world to know about this and wants this technique not to be only "pseudoscience" so under controlled set up he was investigated.. of course this makes sense because if you want to learn lot of people you need society to accept it which makes sense because science than can improve it or learn from this new thing. Maybe breatharianism is too complicated but if I were breatharian I would claim find a little bit openminded scientist or documentarist, claimed this ridiculous piles of many and spread the technique around the world into mainstream community.. you say that mainstream community can not handle this? Bet they can if you finally provide some serious information. There is definitely lot of ridiculous crazy things that you could do to start to plant seed in the mind of society. Notice that I am not using any kind of scientific knowledge to argue with, I am simply stating that I think that their behavior does not make so much sense.. do not get me wrong I find it unbeliavable that these people who confidently talk about breatharianism know that they normally eat at home. Lot of them say that they drink juice and eat some sweets during the day, it might be that they just learned their body to live on extremely low amount of calories and that the reason why they would never stop eating completely would be that it is not possible and they are just deluding themselves by saying that they like the taste of food... I have not lived for long enough to know how much people are willing to do to save their belief systems... I leave that open again. Dragallur [1]Do you ask why I striked through "sorry" instead of deleting it? My friend came up with an agreement that he made with some people including me, the agreement is basically about not saying "sorry". Why? Because we think that sorry is over used world that only manipulates people, the same thing goes with thank you. I do not do this to everybody though because that would not work but I know that people here are on whole different level and can take this

What things led you to the conclusion? I have spent some time trying to find out about it but then recognized that there is lot of bullshit around on the internet about this, people arguing strongly for or strongly against and I have not make up my mind, plus there are the controlled studies of people who faked it and so on.. I am really undecided about this one.

88th day: Enlightenment work I think that the experience I had couple of days ago was indeed very important. Again 2 hours of SDS and 1 hour of self-inquiry. I am really beginning to be interested a lot in the self-inquiry stuff... achhh senses and thoughts are amazing. Physics Today I was listening only to podcast about rationality called Bayesian Conspiracy (I think I already mentioned it), 3 people talking about rationality basically. Since they are very small podcast and it seems that they acknowledge and aswer questions people ask I want to ask what they think about spirituality, meditation and enlightenment. (This seems to me that it is intuition approved but I can say that to any idea, does it even make so much difference?) Mindfulness Very interesting. Yesterday I felt quite sick. I spent lot of time on toilet and they I lied down in the bed to relax though I wanted to meditate or something. I downloaded on my phone some games and it took me about 30-40 minutes to casually uninstall them . To be honest I was playing with the idea of not reseting the counter here but I will. It was a small relapse and I think it was good I made it since I realised some things. The number displayed here does not matter anyway so who cares. No computer games (1 streak) I am actually quite happy with my self. Stuff Today I was running again! 6 kilometers with tempo of 5:13 which is great, I would not expect that! I did some exercises too because of my back, knees are still great! Had some really cool dreams so wrote them down. Everything that we are doing here is totally influenced by Leo... this is EXTREMELY important because any flaws that he makes we pick up after him like pigeons. Please dear reader, do understand this (Videos are made from his ideas, books are of his choice and only tip of what he read, forum is full of people that have to be similar otherwise they would not be here, life-purpose course is based on his ideas and his life and his books).. so remember he talks about enlightenment and he is not enlightened. Dragallur

86th day: Enlightenment work What a freakin day. From 10-11AM I did SDS then right after lunch I did Neti-Neti for 56 minutes and then I just waited for the full hour to go by. After other stuff I did 1 horu of self inquiry in the evening and I just finished another 30 minutes of SDS, I planned whole hour but it did not clap with dinner and such. Cool, all of it was sitting crosslegged basically not moving especially during oficial SDS. Towards the second half of self-inquiry something interesting happened. I was wondering who the hell recognizes thought when it comes up. It is recognized by someone right? Well there is somebody otherwise the thought would as well not exist at all.... and then something happened. I had this insight about this "field" that reflects these things, it did not have any form. I was like: all right then, I better remember this! I tried to recreate the complete experience but was not succesful. I feel great now anyways and it was something remarkable.. I also understand more this concept of not clinging to experience. Physics Alright, I did some Khan Academy. Mindfulness Quite good and it is not even school! No computer games (30 streak) Stuff I went running today. I ran over 8 kilometers with tempo something like 6 minutes and 10 seconds for kilometer.. that is definitely weak for me but I do not mind, I enjoyed the run a lot. Knees are completely ok just the bone under it hurts a bit. Two days ago I actually was doing parkour and I finally had the courage to jump one of the more difficult jumps! I also did some exercises for knees again. I joined the no music for one week unofficial challenge! Leo's practical guide to enlightenment is great. The Grand Project Have you been wondering how is my work here going? Well I have finished first course on HTML and CSS in CodeAcademy and now today I started PHP. Otherwise I am getting some better idea what will be my way of approach to this thing but it is kind of abstract to write here. I need to study a lot a lot, thats why I have to go to University because I could not learn the stuff by myself so easily. Of course I can start before I finish my school. That needs some studying too but if I start to prepare the most of the surface stuff it will be easier to work with it later on. I realised that blogging (that is around 250 posts on my blog each roughly 400 words) really improved my writing skills. Just the other day I received 11/12 points on english writing and the only problem is that I never learned to use "articles". This is nice indeed. Dragallur

It is quite thick book, couple hundred pages I have heard, so for such a book nothing exceptionall and it probably holds information worth of thousands and thousands of dollars. I bet that if you are not living in first world countries you can still afford it.. start saving some money, take extra job if you think it is too much.

Actually I have a friend who is apparently able to do spoon-bending and some healing. I have not experienced it myself though another friend of mine told me that she is able to push her with her thoughts and she showed her bended spoon and such. The friend went on seminar in Czech Republic which is basically translated as something like: "Technique of quantum touch of matrix" or something like that. Here is the original Czech site: http://www.kvantovaterapie.cz/ And here is some english one, I am not sure if it is the same thing and it would definitely need some research, I have not studied it myself: http://www.quantumtouch.com/index.php?lang=en Here in the video the guy pushes some people (its in Czech again):

83rd day: Enlightenment work Well lot of monkey mind. I am going throung Neti-Neti too fast. Since winter break is coming I am planning to do long distance walking again. Two times I walked already in summer 65 kilometers and 50 kilometers once in a day. SInce I am not so fit at the moment I will probably start with 40 or so and if it goes alright I will walk more. Really looking forward to it, just realized that this plan was made up by intuition probably!!! Physics Wow today... I spent most of the day doing physics and math. I need to work so freakin much. I tend to look towards the people that have around 100% on one of the hard-core physics seminars and then I take look on the problems and its like another language.. The problem is that I have learn to expect that I will solve problem fastly or that I will see the solution immediately. At the same time I persuaded myself to do some research before giving up and I found the stuff I needed for one of the problems and basically understood everything in it which was great! Lesson: I need to learn more patience and really dive into the topics. I have really fun sometimes with derivatives, its really cool to do them. Mindfulness No comment. (no comp. games) I watched the new video of course. This one was pretty good indeed. No time to loose, there is really lot to do and physics and enlightenment need to be mastered. I forgot to say, about week ago I had spontaneous lucid dream, cool but it was short as hell. I spend a lot of time on the computer and on internet.. I think it is alright since I do not procrastinate these days and I need to learn physics on computer since I do not have here any books anyway. Also I realized that I did another intuition thing. I decided that I will stop heating my room completely. It safes water which is good for environment (I was just re-learning something with calorimetry and hell, water takes so much energy to heat!!!). It is right now pretty chilli and my feet are freezing a bit but I can adjust! After today I feel this strong urge to really learn physics cool. One of the best threads ever on this forum was created when Leo shared the book of Ra. Interesting was that the part I read I took pretty ok, but no I do not believe in UFO. It is not actually very important to take ANY position here, you can just let it be and let evidence show up, which I really like. Leo mentioned that there is some part about meditation and it is pretty well described to what he experiences which sounds cool. Its all alright I know that my emotional reaction when I hear about somebody being religious is going pretty close to zero! I see how the yellow stage is amazing. I am not there, I have been thinking about it a long time but I am not there, definitely, long way to go.. but hell yeah it is great to feel peace and not disgust when somebody talks about these things. Dragallur