Corte

As I go further down my path of growth I become more sensitive to the nasty things I put in my body. I'm usually put off by red meat or excessive dairy, and sometimes I even get sick now. I don't know if it's all in my head or I'm actually more aware of my health. My question is- where to even begin? Do you just start learning recipes and go from there? Read books to learn nutrition? The reason I procrastinate with this is because my family all eats fast food and junk food and I have no clue how to start avoiding this. i have no addiction to the American diet and I really don't even enjoy food in general, so giving up things is not a problem. The issue is not having anything to replace it with! I need go-to meals to eat throughout the day and a nutrition plan to remain balanced. How did you start this process and what benefits have you had?

Your two worlds will synchronize as one when you stop dividing them into external and internal. What you think of as "out there" isn't really "out there"

This experience comes from a place of almost complete stillness. Whether you had help or not, your mind was still and you weren't expecting the experience. In this moment you weren't a person looking at reality through a bunch of conditions and beliefs, but just as it is. The experience itself isn't amazing at all, but when you think about it after it's over you will begin to mold it in the way your mind wants to remember it. Suddenly it becomes an incredible state that you'll try anything to get back to. If you want to experience it again, or maybe even more deeply this time, you'll have to trick your mind. You'll have to forget about your "memory" and not even want it anymore. Because it's likely that what you are trying to get back to isn't what you think you experienced to begin with.

There is a huge difference between knowing a concept / allowing it to be part of your belief system, and truly genuinely understanding it from within. I think you experienced this difference! Every situation is an opportunity for growth, this one is no different, just remember that this isn't the "final" truth. Surrender to knowing how much you don't know. Be careful not to get cozy in this understanding because it can produce a whole lot of pessimism I think it's 50/50 mind fap and growth. If you want to make it 100 growth, take your own advice and apply it to yourself and see what happens

*Mal drops non existent mic and walks off into nothingness*

You're not missing out. You're not boring. I don't know a single person who did drugs and are happy about it. Better yet, I don't know a single person who did drugs and it helped them in any way. you'll be doing yourself a favor if you stear clear of any people that encourage you to do so in your college years. If you're worried of missing an experience, that's all it is, an experience, you don't gain anything but there is a whole lot to lose.

Realize that when people make you feel bad for not being with them, they are manipulating you into feeling how they want you to - since you didn't do what they wanted. The most common is guilt, they might come up with a story for why you should feel guilty, which is of course completely illusory and made up. Simply don't give up your control. Yes, a person can actually be hurt by a decision you make, but you will feel the difference between this and someone who is making up feelings. The person might even make it look authentic as if they are mad/sad at you. Make your choice based on what you feel is best and hold your ground. It might get ugly in the beginning but people will eventually learn they can't control you.

You are already aware by buying a camera and making a few videos this will not make you feel like you've reached heaven. Just stay aware of the fact that happiness will not be brought to you. It's ok to want more happiness, what can make you more happy than doing what you love and helping other people at the same time? You might have other time-fillers you can cut back on to open up enough space to pursue something that will be more fulfilling for you and others. Minimalism is about decreasing the amount of brain power you waste on useless activities. (Useless as in detrimental or zero growth) Don't confuse this with staying still by suppressing authentic desires.

I believe it's really difficult to go backwards. It takes a whole lot of energy and time to actually step down in consciousness, if you can at all. The only way you can feel like you've lost your progress is if you believe so. Believing you're back where you started forms an illusion and it feels like you are. This is a big part of your problem I feel. Don't be so hard on yourself, this gets as much accomplished as guilting yourself into quitting. How can you make progress if you're too worried about losing it?

Yes, do it a few more times. You will anyway. Only this time, you won't feel the "good" or "bad" anymore. See the reality. My guess is reality is big fat and ugly. The good isn't worth the bad and the bad isn't worth the good anymore. You won't act on impulse because short term highs won't appeal to you any longer. Basically this all is just trying to get you to step out of your self constructed trap long enough to see what's going on around you. Realizing this perspective, your precious addiction falls face first. Lose the belief of being back where you started, this is completely redundant in regard to growth.

I am literally doing not a single thing what a relief.

Sleepyhead, This is a great place to be. Just remember that this is but only one of many levels of understanding. You've made progress, but this is not the end and there will never be one. If you begin to feel sadness or dread, it's likely because you are staying put for too long. You were open to becoming this, now remain open for what comes next.

@Mal I would absolutely love if "YOU" made this video. I have video equipment lets do this!

No, because I don't think this will solve your problem. Like at all. Ask yourself, and be honest with yourself, why do you want to lose your virginity? Because you don't feel like a man since you're 21 and never touched a woman? A virgin at 21 is not a failure, but a treasure. You said you are only focusing on yourself and your goals. Saving yourself for the right time will fulfill you way more than having a night with an escort, just my opinion.

This is what emotions do, this is the nature of thought, don't get caught up in the endless battle of trying to get rid of them. You can however change your perception and where your focus lies. When you focus on calmness and slowing down, you will feel something change - You can probably improve all areas of your life little by little: healthier sleep schedule, healthier diet, lifestyle minimalism, mindfulness, meditation, exercise, general kindness/love. Leo covers most of these extensively. I would start with his most recent video: all of this will give you more calmness than you will ever need, not to mention change your whole life for the better!

Don't fill it. Free

I love how @Natasha slips in ever so casually: "ways society fucks you in the ass"

Its not about not having a life, or giving up your life, it's simply finding a balance that fits your needs for both outer and inner growth. An inner world is just as, if not more, important than the outer. Most people hate their inner world and engage in a never ending battle with it. This whole concept is about finding space for peace. Its about having time to just be, to just exist and to LOVE every moment of it. Your whole world can change for the better through this. So many people clutter their life with so much useless garbage that weighs them down, minimalism is about cutting it down to something that is simple, clean, effortless... As @ChimpBrain put it, (and I also have the introvert advantage) this concept was more of a relief for me! It is a breath of fresh minimalist air!

Your parents aren't ignorant, (even if they literally are stupid) they are simply from a different time and type of living. They felt the same about their parents at this age I'm sure. Removing this kind of belief will automatically make things easier for you. Show them that you are responsible, capable, ambitious, and surely they will believe in whatever you do. I'm nearly your age, and my parents haven't the slightest clue of my plans in life, but I respect them and have proven my competence many times, they are at peace with whatever I'm doing because whatever it is they will be proud. They most likely just want to see you happy and successful (probably with a few of their own beliefs tied in) Stay home, earn your degree, find ways to make money and save it and maybe help others with it, find peace within your current situation right now

Go into the woods and sit on a nice hard rock. You don't need to worry about whether your eyes are open or closed, unless you're doing a specific technique.

Greetings @Mal i find it difficult to understand cognitive development after the first tier, it seems in the first levels a lot of it has to do with the external world. Is there really any "work" to be done from turquoise onward? Or is it more of creating the right conditions for yellow, turquoise, coral to manifest? What I'm asking is it seems the roadmap is much more illusive, which is obvious because I have not transcended, what needs to be done at these levels?

I've spent months seeing no one except my parents, to the point where I forgot many small but important social skills. It can be terrifying to interact with someone, anyone, especially when caught off guard. I felt it in my entire body as my heart beat raced and my face and ears turned bright red. I wasn't able to hold eye contact for longer than a glance. All while this is happening, I know exactly what the person is thinking about me, and this intensifies the fear and anxiety even more. I find it much easier to be one on one with someone, to really try to connect with the person and be genuine. Try to enjoy the moment without thinking so much about what you're doing right/wrong etc. Give yourself a break from this. You will eventually feel more comfortable and be able to interact with two or more people. One of the most important things to develop is self love, confidence in yourself. You don't even really need a huge amount of this, just by caring a little less about what the other person may be thinking helps. You'll find that any bad experiences are mostly brought on by your own fears. When people see this in you, they can feel it also and this will lead to an awkward and anxious encounter. When people see you smiling, confident in yourself, being yourself as you are, this makes them feel comfortable themselves. You actually have to try harder to make it a negative experience. Positive ones are completely effortless. I learned I was creating most of my own suffering this way. I tried just being calm, genuine and happy when interacting with anyone and unsurprisingly this changed my world. The only way you lose control of your confidence is when you give it up. You must understand that you are in control of who you are, not others thoughts of you.

Enlightenment? Tired? Something isn't right here!

I love your analogy/visualization, what a beautiful way of seeing and understanding it. It may seem like you're not making any progress but it sounds to me like you're growing each time you go through this process. You've attached yourself to these memories, but you don't want them to be a part of you because you don't like them. You only want good memories and you will reject anything that isn't how you want it. This is ingrained in our heads from early child hood, to block out negativity and bad feelings, they're "bad"! You don't want bad! So this is quite the internal (house) conflict between you and yourself. Accept that these certain memories happened, understand that worrying/rejecting/holding on to them will not benefit you in any way, detach yourself from them, they are only part of your experience of this life, they aren't you. Allow yourself to be aware of how you feel and don't label feelings as good or bad. You may feel love, or a contracting/pull, but no need to label these. They are as they are and you can experience them fully without pain and guilt. I think the bigger issue here is not so much about the memories themselves, but your beliefs and perceptions. The memories might not be as bad you've made them to be. Learning how to handle emotions in a mentally healthy way will help you immensely...and there are plenty of resources/videos/mentors on YouTube and the Internet to learn this for yourself. It will change your entire perception and put you in a great place to start growing. Simply start to question the way you believe, maybe it's all not how it should be, maybe you've known this subtle fact all along, maybe there's a way to be set free....maybe it's hiding in the present moment...