Hello Ryan,
I've gone through a very very similar thing. I was depressed for a long time, since I was 15 to about 18. At 18 I started healing and I started feeling better. At this point I wanted a lot of things (I also wanted a lot of things while I was depressed, it's just that life seemed too hard to stay and achieve them at that time) and then I slowly started losing my desires.
It's great to hear that you are starting to get better and no longer feel you are depressed. However, really and truly healing from depression takes a long, long time. It's not about defining you as still depressed, since you say you aren't, I believe you you aren't. It's about you being in the process of healing though.
It's a journey, you need to get to know yourself again, what makes you feel good, what looks right, the world becomes different all of a sudden and your thought routine that you had while depressed change so much that it leaves you feeling you aren't even sure who you are and what you want, it's like you don't really know yourself, because you knew the you who was depressed, but who is this new happy you? what does she want?
I can't tell you what will work, but what I did and am still doing (it's been 5 years since my depression left me and I've been struggling with break downs and change for all this time, I'm steal healing from my past), I looked back at what I used to want and thought why I don't want those things anymore, and that maybe I do. When I found that I really don't feel a desire for them but I think they are still the best fit for me, I adopted them first in a fake way - I would tell people that was my dream, I would tell myself how cool it would be, imaging it, thinking about it, making up scenarios, not because I was excited but because I forced myself at first.
I remembered that it's ok to fall back, I told my closest friends and family that I was feeling this way, I let myself cry about it, about life, about not wanting anything, about losing the depressed me that I knew. I went easy on myself and didn't demand that things will change, but I knew in the back of my mind they probably will, one day.
It's horrible to wake up with no goals, but your journey to finding those goals all over again, while probably difficult and painful, will leave you with so much new knowledge about yourself, what you like, how you operate and what you need that I feel excited for you.
Good luck darling, write me if you wish
