Jani

I am currently serving in army. It's mandatory in our country for every young man to do so. Before I came here I was worried about what will happen to my meditation habit. I haven't 'been able to' maintain my meditation habit here due to lack of privacy, so I sort of gave it up here and instead do it during weekends when I get to go home. BUT, I just realized that during our spare time here I could literally walk into the forest somewhere and sit by a tree for the length of the session. Or when I'm sick and pretty much alone here in the barracks, I could sit down and meditate but won't do it. I really have the chance to meditate every now and then but don't take it because I have mentally given up on it already. What my point is here that when we make up our minds to not do something because of some silly excuse that seems like an obstacle, we will not recognize the opportunities to do that activity whenever we have a chance to. I think this is another trap of our minds. So my suggestion that I want to leave here is that try to recognize what activity you have put off because of some excuse, and then start paying attention to the opportunities when you could do it. And finally, continue or start over again.

Well, more difficult than what it used to be when it was a daily habit. I feel generally shittier than I used to and get more often lost in behavior of 'lower self'. But when I do meditate and follow through, it feels fucking good. Thanks.

I keep the minimum at 20 minutes a day. Usually it's around 30-40 minutes. I'm kinda laid back about it. Don't start with anything too radical, I started out with 1 hour each morning and soon got burnt out. Just focus on making it a habit first.

I've been working at a company for a while now and I cannot unsee the dysfunctioning nature of people's behavior that ruin the mood and functionality to some degree. - Don't talk ill of anyone. Put some effort into trying to understand other people and their difficulties instead of speaking ill of them. When somebody gossips to me, I instantly think that I'm not an exception, I'm probably being shit-talked behind my back as well. - Do what you're told to do. Ok, now this might not be the most pressing issue in most companies but there are instances where people neglect the task they're given because it doesn't fit into their common theme of work. Like, if a higher authority orders you to do something urgent, it becomes your current theme of work. - Respect everyone. It hurts to see someone rolling their eyes at you when you're trying your best, puts you down a little bit for some time depending on person. Also giving praise to your colleagues of their good work means a lot. I love it when my work gets complimented, it makes my day. - Let your colleagues vent their emotions when needed. Of course draw a line somewhere, but many of my colleagues respect it a lot when I listen to their worries and resonate with them. - Work hard. I've observed my emotional state both in lazing off and working my ass off, and I've come to feel a lot better about working hard and getting respected for it. It's hard in the moment, of course, but it pays off BIG TIME. - Get along with everybody. There's a guy at my place of work who cannot properly resonate with other people's feelings and ends up hurting them verbally without realizing it himself (at least that's what I hope is happening). Getting along with one is tough at times, but helping them out here and there makes them respect you more and more (at least in my case). - Smile. I'm not telling you to fake your smile all the time, but when you feel like smiling, don't resist it. And when people walk past you, giving them a smile makes them feel good. A smile tells you that one is happy to see you and enjoys being around you. In other words, work on becoming more genuine with your positive emotions and let yourself go with the positive flow when it arises. There are some people that beat down their potential positivity by different kinds of toxic patterns of thought. Positivity spreads as well, so it improves the overall mood in the working environment. - Give people emotional space. Learn to pick up on cues as to when it's alright to be lifting the moods up with some jokes. Colleagues have their own lives too and shit happens to them as well. Some of us can't just see that. When some of my colleagues are having a bad day, I'm always ready to help them and ready to hear them out, but primarily respect their need for silence. I just had these things on my mind so I decided to write them down in here. Hopefully someone finds any help from this. Peace out!

Then let there be such a state of mind, maybe we'll tap into it some time. Getting praise feels nice, what's wrong with that? As long as it doesn't become an addictive cycle of becoming dependent on the praise one after another. Being respected feels nice too, what's wrong with that? Ego feed, yes. I know it's ego feed and I'm okay with that. Being aware of what's happening is good so +1 for that. And as for "It's not helping you in the long run to feel good about that stuff in the short term." When I'm at work, I'm not focusing on what's best for ME, on the long run. I'm focusing on what's best for the employees and the company. Think about others and how their egos function and feel, learn to treat them 'right' and 'good' results will follow, (getting work done and keeping relationships healthy). And also, 'contemplating' and 'trying to figure out' what other people think of you is just stupid in my opinion. If it leads to that, we don't have enough social skills (knowledge of body language and general communication) to figure out what's happening, and all the conclusions happening in our heads might be flat out wrong and exaggerated. Praise and blame all the same? A bit bold. We work among people, we have to know how to work with them. Praise and blame, if it's all the same to you in some state of mind, then cool, sounds interesting, but to your colleagues IT'S NOT THE SAME. To them they have drastic differences and we shouldn't overlook that. We might see a bit better the reality behind praise and blame, but they might not. Use it as a tool, don't let it use you. I welcome the effect of a praise, and try to understand the reasoning behind the blame. I will take your word with a grain of salt and the same doubt goes for my own. Even when my conclusions seem logical, it's good to still have some openness to many other possibilities. I do daily meditation and am really contemplative type. I'm only 19 years into this life so I still have a lot to learn. Thanks for the message, it made me think a lot.

It's not about acquiring the most pleasure and egoic satisfaction from the practices. I don't think that comparing this to beating Usain Bolt is plausible at all since this is not a fucking race against anyone. You don't beat anyone else in this field but your lower self from which we normally operate from. It takes a shit ton of time and dedication, sweat and suffering but it's all worth it. Trying to figure out the whole journey from your stand point is impossible, you have to get into the water and do the work and after you've done that for an extended period of time, you can have a better judgement on this journey, but be aware that you should never trust your mind with uttermost respect. Looking at this field through the glasses of your current conditioning looks fucking bat shit crazy with some pleasure oriented goals that act out the motivation part. When I started this journey, all the ideas I had got swept away as deluded dreams. Don't build the foundation of your journey on those, unless you want some extra sauce of suffering into it. (I'm writing this sleep deprived and on the edge, hence the spiciness.) Peace out.

In my experience, this is a field of patience and emotional labor. You have to look at things you don't want to look at, you have to admit things you don't want to admit, and do the actual work. This is also a super "lonely" life style so to speak. You won't find many people to talk with about this stuff unless you want to come out as some kind of a weirdo. I don't exactly know myself why I keep doing this, I just feel like this is the right thing to do, even if it hurts. I thought that I would be a lot happier once I started this journey, but there is tons of suffering along the way, and even if you are a bit happier, you'll get used to it and treat it as a norm. As for advice even though I'm a newbie myself, I would say that this is a field where comparing yourself to others and being the best isn't just the thing you have to have in your scope, you have to focus on more critical issues in your own life and behavior.

Even before the recent video of Leo's "Why people seem crazy", I had wondered why all the people I've had conversations with don't seem to grasp many of the simple spiritual concepts, or maybe they do, but they just acknowledge and forget about them in the next 5 minutes. Well, I don't really think that it's a matter of logically understanding, but the different scale of importance people place the information on. So I think it's just that all these concepts and their execution wouldn't give them what they want, or at least that's how they see them, and that's the information they trust the most since it's their own conclusion. I think one of the most important components in this field to get started is curiosity and openness. I had always been curious of anything that was different, unusual or even supernatural. So I spent most of my life trying out all kinds of stuff that was of some radical end. People saw me as some deluded boy with wild imagination, but if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't be doing all of this (meditation, self-actualizing in general). So if that component is lacking in a person and he is presented with this kind of information, it's much less likely for him to try out some of these things for an extended period of time. Even high IQ won't do much. My father has incredibly high IQ and is REALLY successful in his field (Architecture). Despite being ridiculously intelligent, it seems absurd how helpless he is in recognizing his own toxic behavior and its effects and how it could be fixed. I was once talking with him about meditation and I just suggested to him to try it out, and he went on full defense mode claiming all sorts of stuff "That thing is only good for people who have problems..." followed by another bold claim "I don't have any problems... I'm always happy, I'm never negative." and of course a lot of programming about meditation throughout one's life affects their views radically. But claiming a position of knowing everything about something you have little to no knowledge over (and that which you have, might be just flat out wrong and superficial). And then making extremely bold unrealistic claims about oneself that you deep down know aren't true at all. Doesn't really seem like the talk of a very intelligent person doesn't it. Anyways, there would be many cases that could be thrown here as examples, but the general idea I'm trying to construct here into words is the person's suitability for different fields and why we might see them as complete idiots when it comes to the field where we are more successful at due to our characteristics and information we've been exposed to and how we have interpreted them. There might be some flaws in my thinking make sure to point them out and please share your own perspective so we can create a better constructed idea.

True. It would be irresponsible to act as a some kind of guru to people when we're in the middle of struggling ourselves. Let's focus on our own development and be the example and impact people as a side-process. Thanks for the video!

Well, anything really that takes one's attention away from presence. Things that make me stop and look within are when I get negative about something, and when I act irrationally on the emotional level. This work really anchors your way of thinking so when you're about to get out of the water so to speak, it stops you just before the surface. And of course meditation

Of all the information I've been exposed to I have come to believe that it is impossible to our psyche to be happy all the time. People around me keep insisting how some people such as celebrities they know are always happy and I just thought that's obviously just their public image. My brother is very successful and a good business man, he always seems to smile, but his smile is fake, nearly every time i see it. I have a hunch that this is just too simple and stupid that people can't be positive all the time and if they try, it means that they're trying run away from the feelings they don't want to experience in fear of getting hurt. Im gonna share my own perspective for what it's worth. I think rather than being positive, we need to become aware of our thoughts, their patterns as well as reality. We should practice mindfulness over trying to hold a fake smile on our faces when obvious anxiety is lying underneath. Be honest and real to ourselves, let ourselves surf on the emotions that happen to take over and be aware of them, be a good conductor of emotion so to speak. Positivity is nice, but trying to cling to it forever won't do any good. Enjoy the positivity when it's there, but accept it as a coming and going feeling and be mindful of the rest. Would be nice to have some good thinkers to share their perspective on this.

This is just my understanding of what he meant, but... I think that being honest to yourself doesn't require you to cling to negative thoughts that come along, but to recognize them, see them for what they are, accept them and let them go. Of course commenting something negative about somebody just because your ego feels the need to do so isn't something i'd recommend. We don't need to blurt out everything 'we' think about something or somebody in order to be honest. Of course commenting negatively of somebody is inappropriate and will obviously damage or confuse your and his/her relationship. Give your energy to whatever you like doing or what is necessary, and be mindful of what's trying to distract you. And commenting somebody's hair or other traits in positive manner will probably make them happy so go for it

I understand sitting, but I was wondering why he decides to smile throughout the sitting sessions?

Oh, yes. From my experience self-inquiry can be pretty intense and meditation on the side of it feels like a break. I've been meditating for 6+months daily and I started self-inquiry recently and got pretty intense experiences. I did 2 hours of self-inquiry today and didn't feel too overwhelming. I don't see any reason as to why you wouldn't do it, because it's hard? of course it's hard but that's what this work is most of the time.

I did 2 hours of self-inquiry today and at one point after asking a question my heart started racing and my breathing got heavy again as if i had been chased by a tiger or something. Is this completely normal to occur in self-inquiry? I thought about it myself and I'd guess it's ego facing a great threat in the conscious activity and it triggers a reaction in my body. Had this happen for the first time a couple of days ago and freaked the fuck out but this time I was able to recover from it quite quickly.

What? Anytime?

Thanks for the reply man, have a nice day!

This was something I questioned last night before I had my experience of terror and whatnot, involved (crying, laughing, shaking, heart racing, heavy breathing, terror, strong fear). Strong concept after all.

Im really tired now because I only slept for 3 hours because of what happened. Ok so a little bit background first. I've been onto self-development for 2 years and into daily meditation for 6 months. Yesterday before I went to sleep I decided to sit down for a while to calm myself down. So I sat. After a while of sitting there I started hyper-focusing into my experience and started doing self-inquiry. It was a really intense self inquiry and I felt more focused than ever, until this feeling of ...what word would be right to describe it I don't even know, expanding? a feeling of expanding washed over me and I was starting to panic out. My heart started to beat faster and faster and it felt as if it was gonna explode at any fucking moment, I also started breathing heavily and loud. I tried to relax myself and be open to the experience until I opened my eyes and totally freaked out. I went back into my room and sat on my bed. All these reactions were happening in a weird manner at the same time, I was laughing for a few seconds, then I was crying for a few seconds, then nothing for a few seconds then again mixture of laughing and crying, that kept on happening for a while, then my big brother woke up who temporarily lives in my room due to his financial issues. He woke up and tried to comfort me but he was really half asleep while asking those questions such as "are you ok" and such. Then after like half a minute or so I can't really say how long I sat there, anyhow I decided to go back to sit on the couch where this experience took place. So I opened the door of my room to exit into the living room and as I did so, I got super cold like in an instant and full terror washed over me again that made me turn instant 180 back into my room and then I started shaking. Hell, I was shaking nonstop for like half an hour combined with laughter/crying/sobbing and heavy breathing. I couldn't get barely any sleep during that night I was too afraid to sleep, I was too afraid to walk through the living room to use bathroom. So tl;dr: I fucking freaked out and maybe some advice would be super nice on how to go on about this.. Have a nice day everyone and thanks for taking the time to read this!

I have watched it. The experience was just so fucking horrifying but still im grateful that it happened. I feel like im alot more aware of my emotions/thoughts and actions and can more fully feel my body consciously right now. Somehow I appreciate that it happened although it was the scariest and most intense experience I've ever come across in my life. I don't claim to know what the heck was going on but I won't classify it as a negative side of meditation. Or maybe it was something Leo was talking about, I don't know, that's why I posted this here to get some insight from people who have probably gone through the same. Im still recovering from it and slightly confused, but I know I'll have to go for it again but with more preparation. And to add it here, the experience was like the result of 5 mins of self inquiry.

Does it make meditation more effective, and if so, why? Have any of you tried combining these two while monitoring the changes in your meditation experience? What did you find out?

Thanks for the informative response.