The Second Coming
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Don't. I did not read the thread only forst and last of your posts. Why dont you watch some of Matt Khan stuff youtube? he's nice and less "hardcore" than Leo. Matt Khan has a lot of sense for you for when you feeling down. He's about being non judgemental to yourself and has some very good insight for everyone, especially how to get out of being in pain. Nobody can become self actualise and enlightened at same time. Not possible. Self realisation is for when you had enough of self actualisation and ready to see through it as ultimately pointless. But if you liestn to Matt you might get some middle way ideas where you can still do spiritual practice's while honouring your ego.
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Yes. You too
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And the gratitude... even for all the "idiots" who seemed to be against you, they were there to enlighten you all along
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What you seek has been there all along. "Knock and the door shall be opened, seek and ye shall find" !!
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@charlie2dogs A knowing laugh from you charlie LOL. I've been reported again, shit! LOL
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It's all about defeat. If you can allow defeat then you have won. If you dont allow defeat you create the ego. The ego is useless because all it does is defend itself. And all it has to defend itself is concepts. The other MUST be wrong, and the ego will summon everything it has, every label, ever moral, every doctrinal position and internalise it and then thats all it sees, its own damn reflection and nobody can get through. Contact is lost and it keeps building and buliding. The more developed it gets the harder it gets to dissolve it.
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Yes. The only way to understand it is to "die". It's all about self-ing, a process of hiding in existence and awakening out of it.
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@charlie2dogs The being is untouched by existence. Its the bodymind that everything happen to. The being is not of this world, it take no sides, has no opinion, no past, no future, no baggage and no hopes, therefore is not seeking or finding. Only the bodymind can have experiences, the being doesnt care about existence, it is complete, whole, perfect so doesnt need anything. The way to experience the being for me is to be wrong, let go, and realise that what I was clinging to was just an illusion. So if my position that seemed so real was just an illusion then all phenomena is really an illusion. It just comes, tortures us for a while and then goes when we realise the futility of keeping hold of it. Yet it is the worst thing to try to let go of because we think we going to literally end if we give up the position, we worked so hard to accumulate it, even all our enlightenment experiences amounted to it so it simply cannot be wronged - after all it IS the truth... then we realise it wasnt the truth after all... with a sigh of relief, a warm glow and a knowing smile.. then it start all over again