ACE

To be honest with you 56 kg is healthy for a 16 years old person in my opinion, but it also depends on your height. I think your problem is more likely that you are not satisfied with your own personal self image, and that's why you think you need to lose weight. You just need to get some confidence, and be happy with your own look. Trust me, I'm sure you have a perfect body. And there is and there will never be such a body on this world which will be attractive to everyone. There are people who like others who are skinny, there are people who like people who has a little extra, and there are people who like others who are muscular. You can never be perfect for everyone else. But you can be perfect to yourself. Just learn to value your own look, it has it's own beauty even if you think otherwise.

I have a similar problem, like you, and I decided to go on the more difficult path, rather to be alone and leave everything behind. You see for me there was a girl who was trully important, I always tried my best, to make a friendship with her, but she always tried to be emotionless and she kept large distance from me. I don't feel love for her, not romantic love or anything, but I really enjoyed working with her, and I liked her personality. I tried my best to make friendship, never had this problem with the other people around, but only with her, yet in the end I saw that there will be no chance of that, so I had to give it up. It hurts, because she was important for me, and at first time, she was always kind and nice with me, but after I told her that I like her, she closed herself up, and created this imaginary layer of invisible wall around herself, so that there is no chance of getting her as a good friend. I think maybe she misunderstood my intentions and thought that I feel love for her. It's better now this way, because if we would have become friends, leaving now would be more painful for me.

Update since last entry. I still decided to leave and quit my job. Sadly I couldn't resolve the issue I had with my senior manager, in the end I still asked my boss to approve my resignation. It feels very painful for me, because I got to know a lot of good people I worked together with and I feel very sad to leave them. But I have to leave because if I don't get training, and there is no progression, then there is no reason for me to stay there, since I have ambitions.

I would quit my job, and would spend all the rest of my life with my best friends and would enjoy it as much as I could. Money, a thing you can always get more of. Time, one thing you will never get back.

You have to think of yourself as a valuable individual. Whenever you do something think it as you have achieved something but do not stop just there yet. You can take the ideology of thinking it as you can potentially achieve even more, but you have to do more, maybe even for the others, not just for yourself, you must find a true goal, which satisfies you whenever you get something done. If there's someone who is really important for you, you can even ask motivation from him/her! Motivation most often comes from an external direction, not from yourself. But if there is something in your life (carreer for example) which can motivate you, it can also come as a good source of self motivation. Motivation is something which gives you that trully good feeling when you get something done. I am certainly sure there is something in your life which gives you that feeling. It can be pretty much anything, can be love, carreer, free time, food, activity, anything. Think about it as a reward after you complete something. Like 2 bottles of beer in a bar with your best friends after a hard day of work, but only if you feel that you got all the things done. You must be honest with yourself, because this reward always depends on your decision, if you feel that you want to reward yourself. But this motivation can come as I said externally from other people or other things. Like carreer, love, success, respect. All of them can be motivating, you only need to find the right thing what you want the most, and either ask for it, or give it to yourself. External motivation is always better, especially if it comes from another person, for example from a good friend. It can be honest, and can give you a huge boost to your happiness, and to your morale if you feel that you reached an achievement.

You know this is the perfect example how life it is. It's a huge rollercoaster, Sometimes you're up in the top, and sometimes you're down at the bottom. Most important thing though, always enjoy the ride, and never lose the momentum. Always keep going, never stop, and never look back.

I wanted to leave my job because I felt that I had relationship problems with the coworkers. I always saw these problems in them. They didn't like me, they kept their distance from me, not wanted me there as a team member, you know feelings like that. But I could felt that these problems were not really in these people, but they were in me. I talked with my boss about it, told him, that I would like to quit the job (working as a kitchen porter somewhere in London), because I feel like shit, I don't get training from my senior manager, I can't progress in my carreer, the team doesn't like me either. He told me that I am a good guy, he would rather solve this problem in some other way, but he will not accept my resignation. I responded to him, that his solution to my problem he offered would solve my problems way too easily. I want to solve my problems on my own, I am grateful for his offer, but then I rather give it a try, not giving up. I will not leave then, but I will have to solve my problem on my own, because what he is offering to me is the easy way to get things done. It's not always easy if you want to fix something in your life, sometimes you need to make efforts and make sacrifices. So yeah I wanted to quit, but my boss wanted to give me solution. What I did instead, I did not quit, but fixed the problem by myself, the hard way, without the help of a higher authority (my boss). If you learn to handle things like this in the life, you can learn to have dignity, to manage problems better, and others will give you credits and respect for that. Even if I'm just a kitchen porter, my boss said to me that he can't let me go just like that. That is one of the greatest sign of respect I could get when I wanted to quit and my boss didn't let me, saying that I was too good to leave. And I am proud of that.