Barna

I am not even sure anymore if it was because of the shamanic drums from last night or the kundalini sounds this morning. So I will just describe everything briefly in chronological order. Last night I listened to these sounds I posted here: This felt like the drums are raping my brain. :)) The buzzing in my head was so intense it almost hurt. And my mouth and tongue started slowly moving, but there were no sounds. My whole body felt like it was full of energy but the body was completely motionless. It felt like the energy had a weak paralyzing effect on my body. Then this morning I listened to these kundalini sounds: It didn't feel that intense. A little bit of sexual arousal, and I also felt something in my chest. Then I drank cup of cold coffee from the previous day and I started studying with the "Focus" iDoser dose (these are binaural beats). And suddenly these binaural beats felt too much. Energy started to flow through my body, and I felt sadness. A lot of sadness. I stopped listening to the beats, I just lied down on my bed and I wanted to die. I think I never wanted to die this much. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. My mouth started to move again like last night, and my body started to shake for like 3-5 mins. Then I pulled myself together, went to the kitchen and forced into myself a slice of pizza, but I didn't have any hunger and the pizza felt disgusting, although there was nothing wrong with it. I throw away the rest of the pizza. I drank a black tea and I started to feel emotionally unstable again. I went back to my room and tried to force myself to study with the "Focus" binaural beats in my ear, but I just couldn't. I lied down, and I started to feel a rush of energy moving through me. Any movement felt uncomfortable, so I just lied completely motionless while feeling the energy rushing through my whole body. It lasted for two and a half hours. After it was over I was able to study with no problems, I felt good and full of energy. While studying I think I've got a permanent realization. I don't identify myself with the "wanting" in me. I see the "wanting" or desire as part of the presence, but it's not the essence of myself anymore.

The same happened to me today. I called it "spiritual hangover" on an other thread. I did a very simple thing: I lied down on my bed and just felt the energy moving through me. I lied completely motionless. It was a two and a half hour motionless meditation. After I felt that it was less intense I got up and I felt normal afterwards. Later on this afternoon a disidentification happened from the emotions. I don't identify myself with the "wanting" entity anymore.

Something happened. I think I was the "wanting". I don't know who am I anymore, but this state is peaceful. This video really did something to me.

After listening I couldn't sleep last night, I was full of energy. These shamanic drums are really powerful. I had a "spiritual hangover" today.

I realized that I cannot get enlightened today because I have an exam tomorrow. So I postponed enlightenment a day. No rush.

A "joke" about God

Btw, those of you who have tried 5meo, don't underestimate the humble cannabis. That thing can make you trip really hard now.

One afternoon I have gone there 4 times in a row. That was a crazy nap. I was doing a motionless meditation lying on my bed focusing on awareness.

20 mg vaporized is a breakthrough for me. It enhances other psychedelics. Even weed. Even Binaural beats. It enhances EVEN sleeping. Once you experience it, it becomes easier to get close to that experience again with other methods as well. For example you can get close to the 5meo experience while sleeping.

So all this drama, just because Eve discovered God's browsing history...?

Actually, it does. It's called sacred geometry. Just look at this shit:

@Leo Gura, life is a "paradigm". Do you keep yourself alive (in the paradigm) with this kind of thinking? You see, when we talk about death, logic doesn't really help. Experience does. - So, how can we experience death without really dying? - Good question, thank you for asking. @0ne, try 5meo. In the 5meo experience you will become Nothing and one with Existence. In my definition this is death itself. The miracle is not that we can experience it, the miracle is that we can come back from this experience. Some people don't come back fully from this experience, but their bodies are still functioning somehow. They are the enlightened ones. So 0ne, I would recommend you to try 5meo, and see death for yourself. If you like it, try a bigger dose, like 30 mg. If you still want to die then overdose yourself. This is the best way to die that I can imagine.

Try 2-5 seconds of mini-meditations in every half an hour.

You can die to life. You can do it right now. Just let go of everything. Don't think about what is a positive feeling and what is a negative feeling. Just don't care about feelings. Don't care about suffering. Just don't give a fuck about suffering. If you don't label the emotions as "positive" or "negative", then everything becomes just energy. Every emotion becomes simply energy, if you don't care about it. And then, become the energy. In every moment become all the energy you feel. You don't understand. BECOME ALL THE ENERGY YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW! ALL OF IT! Yes, it is infinite, but become all of it! That's it. You died to life. Death is the same feeling, just infinitely stronger. Learn to handle infinity while you are alive, it's much easier.

Do you feel disgust against humanity and life? Then feel it. Don't think about it. Don't even care about it, just feel it. Don't be afraid of it, just feel it with your whole body. With your whole self. It feels bitter but sweet in the same time. Do you feel it? Become it. Make it your core energy. Let go of everything else. Don't be afraid of it, FULLY BECOME IT. Become disgust itself. And then you realize, that you are the disgust end of the disgust-love emotion spectrum. But this is a false perspective, because you are not a point on the spectrum. You are the whole spectrum. All of it. You are yourself the infinite possibilities of EVERY emotion. You just chose to feel the disgust point of the spectrum, but the whole spectrum is inside you, part of you. The spectrum is INFINITE, but it is ALL inside you. And now the freedom is yours. You can feel any emotion you want. There are no "good" emotions or "bad" emotions. All emotions are just different points of the same spectrum. And the whole spectrum is inside you.

@Laisa, it's not always about reading... I would recommend you to take some drugs. And write a trip report the next day, so that you can process the experience efficiently. I'm doing the Trinfinity Academy right now. I've learned more from that course than from any book I have ever read, because that course is all about practice and implementation.

Here is a link with Bentinho's paper: https://www.trinfinityacademy.com/essentials/trinfinity-self-realization-map/ I'm currently doing the Trinfinity Academy with this guy. It's worth a try.

Have you, dear @heisenburger, have you read many books? Eckhart Tolle is a good book. Read it!

@heisenburger, I will hit you if you don't meditate. Is it a good enough motivation?

@Leo Gura sometimes you sound like you are paranoid. :)) You are talking about "traps", and serious "hard work"... It's like you're trying to justify the days and weeks you waste on building your infrastructure and reading unnecessary books. I can easily liken you to a religious preacher. You say things like: "You have have to do the hard work my brothers, you have to walk the hard path! Read and learn... Read day and night the Bible, my brothers, because that will save you from traps of the devil! If you fall into the traps, you will end up in hell, and you will suffer immensely, my brothers!" I'm just joking ofc. I have read some good books too which I would recommend to others. But I wouldn't say that reading any of them is necessary. In my opinion the only necessary skill to cultivate is the art of "letting go". If you let go of every bs then everything you need will start to come to you. I know that it sounds like a hippie slogan. But this path is more time- and energy-efficient in my opinion.

So you basically got accidentally enlightened, but you wasn't ready so you "cured" yourself out of it? :))

Every time I used 5-MeO I felt afterwards a cool sensation on my forehead, like it was coated with mint. Today after my 5-MeO meditation, while coming back, I felt like I wasn't breathing through my nose, I felt like I was breathing through my forehead and crown. And I remembered that it wasn't the first time I felt like that, but I never payed attention to it before. It was like the air was coming through my forehead, but not as physical air, rather like air-energy. And the whole body breathed, not just the chest, as we feel usually. As I focused on that I maintained the deep meditative state a little bit longer. I think this is the reason why I feel the cool sensation on my forehead after the experience. Because I still feel the "air" coming through. Try it out next time! If you have any questions, leave a comment.

People like to equivocate when you ask them about enlightenment. I haven't met anybody enlightened on this forum. But there are a lot of people here who had enlightenment experiences.

@Neo you're right.

Awareness is acceptance. If you look at resistance from the state of acceptance, resistance disappears.