mathieu

Hello. i was just having having this confusion a few days ago. I was retaking Leos LP course and also rereading books about stoicism, detachment and contemplating death like in Marcus Aurelius book. also i am doing this visualization habit about my goals and vision in life. My concern is that I find it contradicting whenever I try to visualize my vision and, at the same time, knowing that it will not matter in the end. like it was just f***ing nothing.. just nothing in the end... so why we are doing it all in the first place? this really doubts me about the vision i used to visualize for myself in the future. please help me to reconcile this. (sorry if this is an idiotic question from a not so conscious person). i appreciate all comments.

yes

When I was 19 and studying engineering, I had also issues with my family like I want to rebel against them. But it has something to do about the religious beliefs things because I was raised a Catholic sheep and I have been learning so much stuff about unusual things on the internet like in Actualized. haha. Anyway, I was studying engineering at that time on my 5th year, financially dependent from my parents. Honestly, I was not passionate in civil engineering (wrong choice for me), even if i was really good at math, so it was like ive been half assing it. i was just doing what interests me if i had time. just doing lots of stuff and meeting people of different religion and going to far places alone. but there was a point in my life like I had really really lost interest in school. but i just continued it, (i need a job in the future, of course). my intent that time was to earn the degree first and gain some experience of the real world work after 5 yrs of studying. thats my decision even if its not my passion yet. its funny that i gain more freedom from my parents after i had a fight with my mom about my decisions in life like religions and choosing jobs (because my mom was strict, always care about what other people think). After earning a good amount money, thats where my freedom was really felt. Now, I am 23, a freelance graphic designer (this was really my passion after deep searching), living in a nice city in a good room where I could concentrate on building my career capital, mastering my craft, earning a good money, independent of my parents or other people. But before I got here, I did work as an engineer for 2 years in different construction jobs. My intent was to gain so much life experience to the point that I was really sure of who I am and what I really do not want and what I really want in my life. So I changed my career to the thing I want to be really good at and the thing I am really interested since I was young, it was graphic designing. The preparation of this big change is long enough, that I could financially support myself, and had plenty of time in "transitioning." The money was a big thing, yeah because you want to survive, so you have to make your "attack plan" first before diving into big changes. I know I was not that near to my life purpose yet, in fact I was just starting on the journey. I really give a lot of respect to Leo for his lessons and insights, such a huge impact on me.

I am 23. I have been working as a civil engineer for 2 years. This just month, I have decided to take another change in my life which was changing my career path to Graphic Designing field. Now, these are my worries: I have not told my parents nor relatives, just my close friends, about my plan to completely quit civil engineering field. I am worrying if they would not understand, and they would be disappointed about the 5 years of college that my parents have worked hard to let me graduate with a good degree with a nice and stable job. I am sorry for them. But I am not passionate about this job, and I have been hating working as an employee at construction companies. Right now, I am in a city far away from my relatives and friends. I will be completely resigning that 9-to-5 job within a few days and I still have no definite plans. I have a sideline working online at a graphic design marketplace, 99designs.com. It was basically full of design contests where designers compete by submitting entries. It was crowdsourcing. I’ve experienced wins and prizes there since before. Although, I worry about my financial situation now. It was not a stable income. What if I run out of money? What if I had no luck for a couple of weeks? What if I lost my focus and creativity and just chase for money because of circumstances like that? As a freelance designer (self-taught graphic designer), I also worry about the daily life schedule it would look like. It was a big shift for me, like from working at a company full of employees to working alone at home or somewhere else with my laptop and wifi and other stuff. I saw videos on Youtube about “A day in the life of an artist”, and I saw most of their time were spent on solitude. Well, this fits me since I am an introverted geek, and love to read books. But, I just worry if I could handle that big change in daily routines. Or would I be depressed when alone in my room for a long time? I also worry about the place I would be residing in, I am planning to rent a room or a place to stay in a city near my relatives and my girlfriend. I don’t want to live in my parents’ house, I want to be independent. But I was thinking of connecting to them in a regular basis. I know that I am an amateur yet in this field but I love this since before. Yes, I want to master my niche. I am thinking of studying college again in the field of Fine Arts, Major in Information Design (the course I want, if I had a lot of money savings), but I am also thinking of choosing informal education instead. It was Leo’s Life Purpose course that ignited me to do such things. I took it about 2 years ago, and I am still on the process of refining my Life Purpose. I really appreciate any insights or critics about my situation. Thank you so much for the time.

@abgespaced thanks for this. yes, it is really shitty for me to work again in constructions. i was thinking of applying for other jobs related to my new field of interest. but that was my last option, in case i run out of money

I have learned from the Life Purpose course about how the Hero's Journey as a core concept we need to expect as we follow our paths. It would be grateful if you could show or share here some great examples of movies or books or anything that beautifully depicts the Hero's story. Mine, I personally find this movie as a perfect example Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer (2006)

I am now 23. I also struggled with that kid mentality and still doing the inner work of improving myself. Note that it is a Limiting Belief that is entirely possible to overcome (Leo has very deep explanations about this concept Busting Limiting Beliefs, especially in the LP course). I posted a thread regarding my situation. https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7685-limiting-belief-i-am-still-too-young-but-i-am-now-23/

@Sooraj sunilkumar Visit and join a Toastmaster club near you. It's one of the best I could say.

i also want to show this. im sorry but im really interested in diagrams :))))

This is my art. But I still see it as a small bet I will commit to do regularly. A few years ago, I also had this great interest in Joining 99designs. See my profile https://99designs.com/profiles/foggyboxes

thanks for this info. i am also planning to do affiliate marketing. would you mind sharing some resources on starting up this online business? really interested to try it out

I have watched his videos in his new channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCP1WWozNcnnBX73ZoMSem5w and he's promoting his course called "Internet Jetset", earning money through affiliate marketing. Is it worth trying to take it? Thank for the advice.

hi. this is really of great importance to me since I've figured out that my domain of mastery is Nonverbal Communication. It has something to do with: Reading people, Empathizing with people, Body Language reading, Social interactions, psychoanalyzing, working with lots of people, helping them. I really appreciate any resources, books, videos, courses you could share. Thank you so much

mine, I've recorded all the videos by myself diligently (and religiously, which should be, when youre doing the LP) by using some program out there. It's for my personal use only, and I have no intention to betray Leo. I also made mp3 versions of all the videos which is really really handy. I used Movavi Screen Capture Studio 5 for recording and DVDVideoSoft Free Studio for converting to mp3s

@poimandres Oh I have been doing this for almost all of my passwords for years. It's been like an affirmation or a mantra for me. My password has characters "Amf,ams-g......." with more letters and numbers after this, unique on every account. It was inspired by what Eddie Morra said from the movie Limitless when he took the drug, which made him awesome. He said once "All my fear, all my shyness - gone!"

@ajasatya thank you

It was hard to completely stop masturbating. It was natural and normal unless it affects you negatively. During high school and esp college days, I've also suffered PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm) addiction. The NoFap community has really helped me too, esp their resources and advice. From my experience of overcoming this addiction, here's my summary: The PMO urges happen when: I am alone in the house I have an internet connection It was evening (usually happened at night). There's as if a natural force that attracts me to do those things. Be more mindful of the urges. Bored How can I do better next time? Be at home when you have something important to do. Be busy at home. Add volume/sound/music to my room. Avoid being bored while alone. Feed your muse or else Go outside. Much better, talk to somebody. Do the Life Purpose. Make some art. etc Conclusion: PMO happens generally when I start to feel bored. (This was a realization for me, I am not sure if this applies to others as well.) I have studied, prayed, and did almost everything I know to overcome this bad habit during my college days. I even made a "PMO Chart", invented for myself, to track my progress over weeks and months. so that I am aware and can easily see my attempts and longest streaks I have achieved. See this picture.

yes, I do feel good at being myself, but not all the times. The limiting beliefs like "I am still too young" and the others just kills the joy, and really Limits me. @Random User I can see we have similarities in our experiences. Skills such as mindfulness really helped me too, and also from articles and books I have read about introversion and socialization. You know, it was a big realization for me when I heard about the personality "introvert" which was really me, in my later years. I like solitude a lot but I envy those who have friends hanging out regularly. And, I have a very few close friends who were comfortable with me. I dread parties, drinkings, and the like. And so on and so on. I don't want to be self-pity here. But of course, like what you said I got ups and downs too. And I still have a lot of inner work to do. It was a hope for me to be around with individuals and groups of great people sooner, it would be easier to cope with our fear around them. It was part of my vision. Just want to share one of my resources. Check out this man who inspired me about years ago when I was really experiencing fear of embarrassment on my first job. It was like a lifeline when I followed him. https://www.amazon.com/Rejection-Proof-Became-Invincible-Through/dp/080414138X

I have this physical characteristics of a very young boy. My face, my body shape, really look like a kid. You know in my workplace, when people first met me, they thought of me like of a high school boy or a kid. So they will either treat me that way, or ignore me, unless I prepared myself to look older and act more assertive. But look, I have graduated college, earned a degree in engineering. So it's a bit offensive on my part for people to respond that way, more that I've been so introverted. Anyway, I can handle myself better now around people unlike before. It seems not a serious problem for others, but it has been throughout my life since childhood, until now. It also led me to other limiting beliefs like: "I am not an effective leader yet", "I am not so assertive" and "I am not good in dealing with groups of people." My physical appearance and how other people responded to me, somehow shaped my personality. sometimes, I really feel like a kid and feel inferior to my peers and especially to older people. And this really holds me back. I've learned also that "People respond to how you look." I can see how this will create conflicts in my workplace esp when meeting more and more people. They might degrade me. And I won't let that happen. Really appreciate any help or insights about my situation. Any critics are welcome. Thank you for your time.

this really intrigued me and made me question myself for days. Being a leader has something to do about my life purpose. Although, there were some part of me that wants prestige, maybe because of my childhood need, and also part of me that wants to prevail over others because I hated people who don't like me. Those were some negative reasons I've figured out so far. But I can see that my life purpose has something to do about dealing with people. Being a leader is so critical. I need to embody this. The impact I want on the world is "infecting people with positive laws of nature." "Nonverbal Intelligence" as my Domain of Mastery. And "Interaction with People" as my Ideal Medium. These were my latest drafts on my Me Sheet. So I can feel that I need to go out there and be with people. I believe I can use my full potential out there, like in my workplace @ajasatya

@Random User Thank you for understanding. Yes, those are true. The fear of embarrassment was deep rooted in my early childhood. It was really a very hard thing to overcome from elementary to college days. In short, I suffered on lots lots of social interactions, meeting strangers and groups. It was.... urghhh. Lots of embarrassment and negative self-talks after the interactions. You know a typical introvert and awkward nerd kid? that's me. Although I got some high respect from people who knew me. I don't want to boast here, but I used to be one of the smartest on classes. So at least there were those who got interest in me and people approach me. Listening to them, I got some feedback about their first impressions of me, a naive, innocent boy. This feeling of being too young made me think more of like a kid, like I used to be more playful around people and in doing my tasks. I love to crack jokes. So instead of thinking of it as a curse, I have actually found out it was one of the Top Strengths of mine, Playfulness and Humor. Sense of Purpose being on the Top. Like a combination of seriousness and playfulness. Sounds weird but fun. How did you cope with your fear of embarrassment? @Random User

You were right. i can see it was more of a self fulfilling prophecy. People really judge on looks, and I have witnessed those same responses on me a hundreds of times. It was by default. But whenever I let myself be affected much, then I am now playing the victim. That's why taking 100% responsibility is really critical for me. It also gives me hope too knowing that physical is just a part, in fact the least part. I better keep on growing my mental, emotional and spiritual aspects. Thanks to Leo and the books. I can feel that I can really be an effective leader. The crippling fears just hold me back. I think the fear of embarrassment is one of those root causes. Holding on to the belief, that I am still too young, served as the baby blanket to protect me from taking responsibilities of being a leader which involves dealing with groups of people. Therefore, avoiding possible embarrassments. Being too young is a good excuse. That's why I avoided being involved in extracurricular activities. So yeah, I really need more work to bust these illusory things. Much more that my life purpose is about interaction with people.

What I want is the kind of motivation that it will create when you know the your time is so short. I've heard Leo saying about the importance of knowing "your life is short" many times. Yes, I believe that life is short but the truth is, I am not yet motivated much. Is it possible to create such an artificial time constraint for your life? How? @Leo Gura PS. I have read about Anthony Burgess who was 40 when he learned that he had a brain tumor that would kill him within a year... Burgess had never been a professional novelist in the past, but he always knew the potential was inside him to be a writer.... In that time, he wrote energetically, finishing five and a half novels before the year was through... But Burgess did not die. His cancer had gone. He wrote more than 70 books, but without the death sentence from cancer, he may not have written at all. (I've copied these lines from Steve Chandler's book, and this stuck in my head) PSS. I didn't mean I want to be a novelist too. Generally, I believe it's important in realizing your own life purpose.

@Yavor Kirov i was still thinking about my question within these past few days. and I can't imagine living my life purpose if I was given a year to live. It's simply because I have not found the one specific thing that is deeply meaningful to me, not even gained mastery over it.. I am still on the process of figuring out my Life Purpose, and i am taking the LP course for the second time. So I thought I really need more time to realize and live my dream career. Leo said it could took more than a decade, so let it be. I need to savor every day of "life" still given to me.

Hi @ChimpBrain thanks for sharing that. First time I heard about "death meditation". Wow