ElenaO

Your requirements aren't anything supernatural in my opinion. Any woman who is more or less into growing herself cares about her body. Hence, she is most likely in a pretty good shape. Same applies to intelligence. In fact, a lot of things that you mentioned I took for granted. I never mentioned them, but I thought that those are the necessary prerequisites to qualify for a high quality man Not sure about the sense of humor though (I struggle with this one, perhaps). Seriously, nothing that you mentioned seems anything super special to me. I am certain there are a few women who qualify for this in my opinion. To add: I would also expect all those things from a man too.

OK, good to hear. So what's the icing that you expect?

This sounds vague. But I will try to think about your idea, thanks.

Well, you could have a quick chat with them after the class. Ask them something about the practice, of their experiences, of what they like. Girls actually like being approached. I mean even if they aren't interested in you, they will flattered to be approached by a guy. But if they are interested, then it's totally your chance to find one.

OK, I think I might be misunderstood here. I am not saying that entertainment is evil. That's a person's choice of how to spend their time. What I meant to say is that I think these types of experiences do not really help in building a relationship. So if I had to choose from a guy who is experienced in, for example, organizing some events, and a guy who is experienced in playing games, I would rather go with the first option. Because he is more likely to know how to socialize, how to handle difficult situations, etc.

Never said that playing games, watching tv shouldn't happen. What I meant is that those experiences do not really help in sustaining a healthy relationship.

Could you elaborate please on this " You seem to misunderstand when it comes to 'how to understand and communicate people'". I would appreciate that.

I can offer him my commitment to the relationship - to try my best to improve and try to understand if there's something that needs to be understood.

Maybe you are more experienced in some things (like playing games, watching tv :D), but who the hell needs that for a relationship? We are talking right now about experience in living life.

Good point! I do notice, however, that a lot of things do get on my nerve eventually - I start being irritated by even small things. So I would rather skip the possibility altogether.

Yes, there are tons of women out there who themselves need to level up. I don't mean to blame men for all the evil in relationships.

I agree. Feeling resentful towards men is the exact description of the way I felt. Yes, I don't want to point any fingers. I am sure that I can find someone who's at my level or even above. And I agree that most of it is up to me. Didn't mean to complain. I guess I just got a bit grumpy because there's guys who are less experienced around me. And yes, it's again my mistake - I must do something to change the environment.

Wow, I didn't see it from this perspective. You are right. I really think that the guys should level up. Problem is that most of them (or am I just overgeneralizing and being negative?) are not there and maybe won't ever be?

@Lynnel Not going to. Have had my share of situations. I was wondering about it from a different point of view - the one of the ego. It seems my ego has a very strong opinion about who I should date and who I shouldn't. Very categoric. Also, I notice how at times I when I am more connected to my emotions (or that's probably my sexual desires ) and not my mind, I feel like I could date such guys. However, when my rational thinking kicks in, I see it as a complete stupidity.

Interesting. Would love to see this happen. Not there yet. Hope to be one day.

I get your point @clytaemnestra . I think differently though. I would definitely prefer a guy out of my league, because he would teach me something. Even if it's going to be painful in the end. I most certainly don't want a guy who is below, or at least for a serious relationship. If I would have a guy who's below me I would feel like his mom. And that is not attractive!

@STC You put it so well, I completely agree! I would feel sorry for a guy who doesn't have it all together. And I think that's the last thing a guy wants to get from a woman!

It's great you are noticing the thoughts that come up in your mind. I believe this is how you build the awareness. The way I do it is noticing the thoughts and letting them go. Noticing your own thoughts and being aware of them coming in is probably the toughest in meditation.

Hello, I am noticing about myself these thoughts and feelings that whenever I do everything right and everything is going great. I mean I am disciplined and I get things done, I have this weird feeling that this is all going too well. I feel like I am afraid to have all this too perfect life. That's why I screw up and do wrong things instead. Any ideas of how to deal with this?

I do see benefits even from 20 minutes. Even though I have to say that I only see the real benefits when I actually stay focused while meditating. I often tend to become lazy and just let the minutes pass just to get over with. However, when I stay focused and notice my thoughts I sometimes have crazy levels of awareness throughout the day. This happens quite rarely, though. Unfortunately.

Could you elaborate on this @John Flores ? What do you mean by an obstacle? When I feel it, I actually have this thought in my mind: "Oh, this is all going way too well. I cannot take it."

I don't entirely understand this: do you mean that my ego seems to imagine that I am perfect at that moment, even though I am not and no one is?

You are probably right, Andrea. I haven't thought of it from this perspective.

Hey Arnie, I personally do stretches/yoga every morning. The effect is obvious, I say. I tend to slouch, so stretches help me a lot in opening up my body. My upper back is especially tense, so I focus on it mostly when stretching, but this may be different in your case. You just have to try out and see what works. Good luck

Have you found any good pillows yourself then? I mean any recommendations