ElenaO

Yes, maybe this discussion got too far. I am kind of disappointed that I've even started it. People assume you are some kind of idiot.

There's almost no women coworkers here I work in IT. There's another really young girl. And she's no competition. Pretty sure.

I am in no way acting cold and distant

@Key Elements You are so totally right! I do feel exactly that I am trying to become someone I want to marry Well, the more I talk to my colleague, the more I like him. Problem is I have expectations, whereas I should just go with the flow and not force or control the outcome. Thank you so much for support. Being honest I was a bit disappointed that I started this thread, because people around are just harsh. Now I realize how I may sound when I am harsh in my comments towards others

Yes, I agree. I'll just continue having a good time. I guess my ego tries to arrive at a solution. That's why there's this tension inside of me. I want it to be resolved already! On the other hand, I don't want to take this direct approach. It just feels weird. I feel intuitively this is not right. Even though most of the people here are suggesting specifically that.

Make up my mind about what? now I am missing the point here.

Could try that. And yes, I know no one can promise anything. It seems everyone here thinks that I was born yesterday. It seems so simple to all of you. And I agree, it's not anything out of this world. But, honestly, I do feel like I do not know what to do.

Not really. I don't like overcomplicating things. The reason I haven't replied to your comment is because it sounded a bit silly. The chances that we live somewhere close are small. Meeting, let alone dating, is just out of question.

Maybe. I could just go with the flow and see how things turn out. It's just that there's some tension, I feel.

I think the reason this doesn't happen has nothing to do with how we spent time. As I mentioned we've been alone during lunches already. However, there was no direct suggestion neither from me nor from him about what we actually want. So I think asking him out isn't even needed. As we've kind of "been out". Maybe he's not that into me, after all.

Hm, I could consider this. However, I would have to get super frustrated with the situation to get this out of me.

I don't drink. And I haven't been to a club in ages Not interested. And I wouldn't want a relationship where we would do such things.

I think you definitely have a point here. I will try to contemplate on this. Thank you.

Check and check

That's exactly what I want to do! I think I must just calm myself down and let it flow. I was thinking just today about the reason of getting interested in him in the first place. I mean, yeah, he's really good looking and in a super good shape. But there's tons of guys out there who are also like that. I think the reason I've got triggered and started liking him is exactly because he's showed interest in me. Then I got to know him a little better and now I want to know him even more. But the reason I've fallen for him was, actually, triggered by him.

Well, you are oversimplifying this a little. If we would just follow our emotional/physical needs we would all have extramarital affairs and do who knows what So it's a bit of too simple approach, in my opinion.

Haha, thanks for advice Except I don't usually go to movies, I don't drink soda or eat popcorn

I really resonate with your advice. And I think I've given him quite some hints. However, touching him or putting hands over his eyes really won't work in our case. People aren't that close at work. Plus, we live in Finland and physical contact is only appropriate with some very close people. If I give him a hug I would be seen as a weirdo. No one hugs at our workplace. Which is sad

Well, he might be shy in this respect. Might also not be that interested (even though there's clear signs he is, in my opinion).

@egoeimai so anything would do? @Toby I thought it's quite obvious what I want from him. What does a girl usually want? A relationship.

Yeah, as I said I am not sure how would I do it. Till now just knowing that I have to ask him something hasn't worked. I need practical advices.

Well, I get your point. But I honestly do not know what to tell him or how/where to invite him. I don't think I am afraid of rejection, as you mention it here. I am tougher than you think. The problem is that I simply do not know how to move this forward. I guess because of the lack of the experience, since guys were usually the ones doing this.

This would probably work at school or uni, but not at our work. The guys compete quite a lot at work, and there's no close friendship among them. Neither do I have any common friends to whom I could hint. Thanks for the suggestion though.

haha, even though this is funny I don't think I can say something like that.

I agree. I am trying to find some balance there. Besides, it might be that actually the iron level influences my overall state. Will see how it evolves