@F A B It is a truism that everyone always wants to feel loved. You can't really go wrong with that advice.
Then again, never follow advice too literally. You must apply it with intelligence and contextual awareness.

@billiesimon It may not seem like it but it's probably a sign of progress. This is classic Anima possession (to which most people are on this spectrum due to deep conditionings and the current societal set-point relative to the feminine).  And this isn't just true for men. Most women are in resistance to the feminine as well.
And it takes a lot to reintegrate it. I've been working on this for nearly a decade and I still have a long way to go. It's hard to step out of a trend that's been going on across cultures since the beginning of agrarian living. It's one of the toughest nuts to crack. You can see this reflected in the current state of society, where half are really trying to reintegrate the feminine and the other half are really trying to double down their efforts toward feminine repression.
The repressed and spurned Anima projects itself out onto women as a whole group. Since it has been rejected, it's goal is to make the rejecter also feel a deep sense of rejection. But it also wants to be integrated so it makes you crave the sexual communion with a woman as a symbol of that desire. And you'll crave it beyond simply what is instinctual.
But the reason why I say this is progress is because now your issue is more apparent to you. You are more conscious of it. This means it's closer to reintegration than it was before, even though it seems like a step backward. Before you were probably too identified with goodness to see this internal split and all the ill-will toward yourself and women that it produces, and all the fear and anger toward the feminine.
One thing that I grapple with constantly is that I have a ton of anti-feminine/anti-woman beliefs and feelings. And I've made a lot of progress toward letting them go and making room for feminine integration. And this has enabled me to be more receptive and accepting of things, as well as many other traits that I had trouble with before. But I still have plenty that hang out and many insecurities around being a woman and accepting my femininity, due to my patriarchal upbringing.
So, just know that the spurned Anima is a bitch. She is passive aggressive and wants to hurt you as bad as you've hurt her. And now that she has more wiggle room because you're more conscious and allowing more space for her, know that these upheavals may become more frequent. This is part of the integration process.
So, just be mindful and notice what these fantasies have to tell you about yourself.
 

@Amadeusz People who get serious results are not going to hanging around on a forum. They will be working on and enjoying their results.
If you want to be successful you need a serious business and marketing strategy. Dicking around on YT or a forum is not gonna cut it.
You need to get very serious about your work. Stop dicking around and go create something that offers massive value to the world, and do it smartly. Passion is no substitute for poor business strategy.

Forget about all that and stick with Instagram for now.
Why do you feel like it's whoring yourself out? I don't see it that way at all.
To me, it makes no sense for me to be friends with someone if they aren't adding value to my life. And I also don't think they should want to be friends with me if I can't add value to their life.
If your only goal of a friendship is to connect with someone, I can do that with just about anyone. I'll find commonalities and build a genuine bond. So that alone isn't a good enough reason why we should be friends.
If you keep juding it like you're whoring yourself out, you're going to resist the process.
I like it.
Yeah subtlety is huge when you get to this point.
You'll get this through osmosis the more time you spend in high status areas. You'll pick up on the vibe of the room and what the high status guys are doing / not doing. Just keep paying attention.
This is a really nuanced question.
No, you technically don't need money.
I'm friends with a promoter here in Miami that absolutely crushes it. He has all sorts of social proof in the nightclub, high status access and a pimped out Instagram. Yet he is literally broke and living out of his car. It's almost comical.
You also see this with photographers. They usually don't make much money, but they do well with girls simply because they're around them all the time in a position of status.
So money isn't the answer. Access, social proof, game and logistics are what really matter.
But money can help you with those things. For instance, if you've got cash then you can afford an apartment next to the best nightclub, which is usually expensive real estate.
So it really depends on your situation and what your goals are. Personally, I want money. Lots of money.
 

@kieranperez  I read struggle, I read pain, I read confusion. 
I may be wrong but I feel your acting too much from an erratic mind. Hence your getting this push and pull effect (crab in the bucket as Joseph has named it)
Breath, slow down @kieranperez let go brother. Release the control you so badly hold on to. 
All is well, trust.
 

@kieranperez I think you're trying to do too much too fast. You gotta keep in mind that the stuff you learn from me is extremely advanced stuff that takes years and decades to put in place. I share a very big picture of your potential, the downside of which is that it can seem impossible to achieve, so far away.
This is sort of the curse of a lofty vision.
Baby steps man. You are still super young and your whole life is ahead of you. You have plenty of time to create a great life.
Focus now on building a vision and cultivating hope. You want to enjoy the process of assembling your life. It's fun. Don't make it a grind.

No, I don't consider infinite intelligence the Akashic Records. Akashic Records are supposed to be a database of the universe's entire history. Infinite intelligence is devoid of content. It is pure and formless. You will not find any historical memories or events in it.
High doses of psychedelics are probably good for accessing the Records. I have yet to verify that.
Or it might require some psychic talent. I'm not very psychic.

If you're not willing to step out of your comfort zone, then you definitely won't find a girl.
Plus, at your current state, you're so negative on yourself that no girl is going to want to be with you. It's a huge burden to be with a guy like that who is stuck in his ways, negative, has low self-esteem, and is unwilling to make efforts to improve himself and his life. Getting through life with a person like that is like trying to drag a sack of brick up the side of a mountain. And a man who isn't strong enough to offer support emotionally and otherwise is just an unattractive man. A man who is weak just intuitively strikes a note of sexual disgust in women. In other words, it feels literally gross to be with a guy who is not developed in that way.
To give an analogy to what you seem to hope for, it's kind of like a plain woman who smells bad, doesn't try to look nice, and doesn't shave expecting that guys will just be attracted to her based on no other reason than her existing. And then her getting upset that "No guys find my hairiness, B.O., and halitosis attractive." Meanwhile, she could just make the effort to clean herself up a bit and try to look nice and she'd get more men who are attracted to her.
For guys, it has to do more with personality than outward appearances in the initial attraction phase. So, it takes a bit more work. But what's positive about this is that this means you have a lot more leeway in terms of how attractive you can be to the opposite sex. A woman can only be so attractive outwardly as this is the nature of looks. But since women tend to like men based on a wide array of traits that are both character-driven and looks-driven, with the former outweighing the latter, there are a lot more factors that you can tinker with if you just put in the effort. 
Everyone is conditional with their attractions. And women's attraction is based quite a bit upon the level of grit and character that a man has. So, if you lack these things, it is lucky that these are 100% cultivatable traits. You can develop them. You just have to have the gumption to become the best version of yourself. This is the thing that you lack. You lack the grit and gumption to pull yourself out of the self-esteem hole that you're in. But it doesn't have to be that way.

@Igor82 Excellent first trip.
Don't worry, this is just the first step. You don't need to resolve all your answers and get breakthroughs in 1 or 2 trips. You should have the attitude that you will trip 20+ times and in that time you will figure a lot of stuff out and have many breakthroughs.
Try to avoid distracting yourself in future trips. Stay away from electronics and note-taking devices. Allow yourself to go fully into the trip. Stop anchoring yourself to your old reality.
Do not place a bunch of goals and expectations on a trip. Your #1 goal when tripping should be to go wherever the trip takes you. Drop all expectations or needing it to show you certain things. Deep insights will come organically. Just relax, surrender, and be ready to explore. Metaphysical curiosity is all you really need.
When you trip, try not to move around so much. Sit still with eyes open, upright, fully alert -- like a meditation retreat.

I would say stop worrying about stages and where your at.  They are not there to be transcended as though its a temporary negative holding place to get past into the next one.  Each stage is relevant and a avenue for life.  Embrace the life, the you and the heart/desires you are with right now.  Be kind, honest and thoughtful as your able.  Don't over think your life.  What do you want now?  How can you accomplish that?  Go do it.  Don't do it because someone told you, you have to evolve into stage green/yellow or become enlightened because thats what lifes about, and if you don't you will be unhappy and doing your life wrong.  Again life isn't about moving up a spiral, its about living now, embracing you, the suffering and joy thats apart of it.

That's better than nothing. Nothing wrong with those. You can strategically use that motivation to build a lot of necessary infrastructure in your life. Then you can move on to higher things.
Do not feel bad about meeting lower survival needs. They are necessary in most cases. You've got to climb Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. If the higher needs don't motivate you just yet that's probably because you're so under-developed in the lower ones.
If you are in your early 20's you need to focus on learning basic survival skills. Learn how to feed yourself independently. Then worry about spirituality. If you are incapable of feeding yourself, you have no hope of attaining enlightenment or other advanced stuff like that.

Thank you, @Leo Gura!
I still can't meet my basic needs, but I have an inner desire of helping people. Actually, I'm a college student and I generally help people with my own college works (I study Graphic Design, a very Green course here in Brazil).
I'm taking baby-steps towards my development. It's baby-steps, but at least I'm evolving.
During a healing session I had with some people, a guy told us that, when we heal ourselves, we're healing the entire world.
I'm not happy within, but I'm working on this happiness. I don't think it means I can't help people at all, but, as Leo said, I shouldn't bite off more than I can chew.

In practice it's hard to help the world when you are underdeveloped and struggling to meet your basic needs.
The point of developing yourself is so that you can become a better tool for helping uplift the world.
But also, don't wait to be perfect before you help the world. You can work on both simultaneously. Help out in whichever ways you're able. Don't bite off more than you can chew.
The greatest thing you will ever do for the world is to awaken yourself.

@Lynnel You did good. Some important insights there.
Now you should be able to appreciate my Reality Is A Strange Loop video.
More trips are required to answer the questions this trip of yours raised.
Yes, mushroom trips can be quite twisted and difficult to make sense of. Other psychedelics like LSD or 5-MeO-DMT are clearer.
The best way to escape thought loops is to change your state or physical location. Just going into a different room can be enough to break out of a bad thought loop, or going outside, or eating a snack, or turning on some silly music and dancing around for a few minutes.
You gotta learn to shift your state. Meditation is also very helpful. If you're good at meditation you should be able to just silence the mind and its thoughts.
And when all else fails: just SURRENDER

It is what it is. Work on developing yourself. It doesn't matter what is happening around you really.
Take extreme ownership of your development. Stop expecting other people or your community to build you a staircase to heaven. Build your own staircase.
With all the books, videos, and resources available so easily today via the internet you have no excuse not to be at Turquoise. If you don't achieve it it's only due to one reason: you're being lazy and irresponsible.
You already have all the information. Why aren't you taking action? Why aren't you building a million dollar business? Why aren't you meditating 3 hours per day? Why aren't you working on your life purpose? Why aren't you developing powerful relationships? Why aren't you eating healthy? Why aren't you doing yoga? Why aren't you doing solo retreats?
Laziness
There is no cure for laziness but to get to work.

Well, you could sit down, contemplate what those things are and realize they all fabrications of your mind.
What is justice? What is law? What is order? What is good manners? What is the afterlife? Don't you find it odd that you value these things so highly yet you've never really wondered what they are or where they came from? Or if they're even real?
How can you truly value these things if you don't know what they are?
A big part of transcending Blue is starting to think critically for yourself and question everything that your culture taught you. Become skeptical of everything. Every belief must be questioned to death.

@TJ Reeves
I resonate with this 100%. I always heard how men repress their emotions growing up but I thought it was a bunch of bullshit. In reality, I just had no awareness of how much I was stuffing things down.
Things I've cried over recently:
1) Music I love
2) Seeing people coming together for a common good
3) Helping others
4) No reason at all, just happy to be alive
It's powerful too, stronger than most emotions I can remember growing up. But I love it.

@Shir Breathe deeply from your stomach and relax your body, head to toes, over and over. 
That’s your thing from now on. You are a stomach breather, and you relax. THEN you proceed.
You op sounds to me like you need to understand what you can change, and what you can’t change. What you can control, and what you can’t control. 
You’ll feel great just getting some clarity on that.
Get a piece of paper and a pen, and make two columns. “Can Control” & “Can’t Control”. Be honest, and write the things on your mind down on the paper, in one column or the other. It’ll feel pretty good just to get this stuff out of your head and on paper. Then you’re in a bird’s eye view, and things appear much clearer. 
Then, pick just one thing you can control. It might be eating healthy. 
Pick one little change. An example might be, instead of buying / eating Cheetos, I’ll buy bananas.    Just do that one small change. 
Notice the feeling of empowerment from that one small change.  Focus on that feeling, hone into it, milk it, expand it, get to Know that feeling. 
Then, in a day or two, pick one more little change. 
This may sound trivial, or insignificant, but I assure you - you making even the tiniest changes, and seeing that you are indeed in control of everything needed to get feeling better - that is the most powerful force there is. It is in me, and it is in you. Don’t bullshit either of us. Tap into it. It is as simple as just getting started, with one little change. 
 
Also....if I’m hearing you right, you made a common error. You started a belief: “I can’t be happy without X”. Sounds like for you, X is kids and or a significant other. But, of course, guess what...
Kids are great one day, and bust your balls the next - they make you happy and not happy. Significant others are lovely one day, and a pain in the ass the next - they make you happy and not happy. 
The point is, lasting, true happiness will not come from anyone, or anything. It will come from you, taking care of you, and loving you enough to start to get a little disciplined about making some changes, and taking better care of yourself. 
If this is right for you, if it’s helpful, pm me anytime. This will pass, everything does. It is flat out awesome how good you will feel, from just starting some changes. 

Authenticity occurs when you integrate the shadow aspects of yourself. Those parts of you that you’ve been denying, repressing and were conditioned to believe were unacceptable.
Essentially it’s coming to embody God. 
It’s a real concept, but unfortunately the ego twists it as a means to simply stay the same and not evolve. 

Do it if you want, it will probably be a good lesson either way. I'm all for fucking up if you learn from it.
But notice from this comment that you're still identified with your old way of behavior. You think it's "who I actually am" and that doing something different feels fake.
That's completely normal when you're making an identity level shift. But don't get it twisted, your current way of behavior is already inauthentic. It's simply conditioning that you've identified as "you". It's your ego structure.
Why make it either or? The winning formula is to do both.
Yeah you can do inner work like meditation and what not. And that's awesome.
But real results also can create shifts. At first it will seem impossible, but then you'll do it and your mind will normalize the experience.

It's funny to me because I was watching a whole Vice video basically about the people I called my friends in the San Francisco Bay Area Rave Scene but in the context of a nature community in Canada. To me, yeah these people have their problems, but they're definitely more evolved than Orange. This whole video, now knowing things like Spiral Dynamics and having learned more about consciousness work, enlightenment, personal development, and just life in general since having left the Bay Area Rave Scene in the last couple years, really makes me look back with a giggle about how when I started going to these underground raves with these people I resisted these people in the beginning. Granted, this stage does have it's limitations and I think one of the hardest parts about my development of Green was that I would be with all these Green people in this Green environment (going to illegal venues for warehouse parties, camping out through weird obscure map points in the middle of nowhere where you literally needed coordinates to get to the party and then camp out for a weekend, and so forth) and then after dancing my face off from 8PM-8AM (totally sober and clean by the way) I would go back home to my Stage Orange/Blue house (what @Leo Gura accurately calls secular moralism in his Stage Orange video) and my stage Orange interests of pursuing athletics and being all dogmatic over atheism and debating and all that nonsense. The rave scene really is just a party oriented version of this entire community depicted in this Vice video. We all know about the excesses of Green and that was why I had to stop partying with these people because it just became a place where we really couldn't be honest and actually authentic but I do feel that this is a very necessary stage. I think what a lot of Green people don't realize is how much they operate from a place of lack and utter insecurity. This "dose" of Green, as weird and contradicting as it may sound, is empowered from a sense of disempowerment. A lot of these people form these kinds of groups, communes, etc. because they never felt accepted by the society they grew up in which is why this heavy level of Green emphasizes feelings so much. They just want to be heard and be allowed to speak and not be lectured and moralized to and that was actually a very big part I got out of the rave scene. I could vent my frustrations in feelings that I closed in for long and so deeply. Heavy Green can really provide a space where you can let all of this out. If you've ever been to a rave you know what I'm talking about. Being able to let out all you feel onto a dance floor with a dozens, hundreds, or thousands of other people who aren't judging you for the way you express yourself and they actually encourage and embrace you. I was one of those guys who "went hard all night" in the sense that I literally danced with as much emotional expression as I could and people told me all the time (pretty much every event I went to) that they felt me. The problem though with this kinda heavy Green though when it forms communities is that this compassion, mutual acceptance and respect becomes this interesting "unspoken moralism". You can feel that other that a lot of these people do this from a sense of how they're supposed to be compassionate and be accepting of all. You can sense in the inauthenticity which is why real unconditional love isn't able to flourish in these kind of communities becomes all this stuff comes from a sense of lack so you end up acting out all this out rather than it coming from true authentic motives. Also there's a lot of projections and strong shadows in this kind of heavy Green. Nonetheless, Green is superior to Orange and Blue. People at this level if you're at say a party aren't trying to out posture each other like if you go to some Stage Orange party where it just becomes men trying to act out other men and women outdo other women. 
If you're really head centered and very logic and rationally motivated (or at least believe yourself to be so  ) and you live in the United States, I highly suggest you go to a few raves or some burner events or campouts. Exposing yourself to these people will allow them to allow you to finally express yourself in ways you may be too proud yet insecure to admit you're afraid to express. You can't really embrace other humans lovingly without going through Green. 
For those who don't know what I'm talking about:
Stage Green (permitted and legal) Rave - btw that’s me when I was like 17 back in 2012 @ 1:50  LOL (I cringe looking back)
Some of you Orange people, prepare to get triggered by Green parties   
 

@Deutsche22 That sounds very difficult.
Spirituality is the solution.
Psychedelics could help you see the good and love again. She's not really gone. She and you are one forever. Maybe try some MDMA, 5-MeO-DMT, or mushrooms so you can realize this directly. They will reconnect you with divine love and oneness and help you deal with any emotional baggage that remains.
Also remember that a grieving process is totally normal. Especially this early into it. Don't avoid the grieving, rather go more fully into it. Explore it. Rather than trying to be all "spiritual" and stoic, dive into the feeling! Feel deeper!
And be gentle with yourself. Don't forget to love yourself.

Remember, the journey is the best part, not the destination.
I have some fond memories of fighting to escape wage slavery. It was tough but also fun.
And remember, freedom isn't all good. Too much freedom comes with its own problems.

@Azrael Of course society has become a lot more liberal in many ways, but politically American government has also become toxically conservative in certain respects relative to the FDR era, especially post-Regan.
The highest tax rate has been slashed from 90% to 45%. Corporate tax rates are absurdly low and full of loopholes. Income inequlity has skyrocketed. Average worker wages have stagnated for 30 years. CEO pay has skyrocketed. Money in politics has skyrocketed. Corporate power and lobbying has skyrocketed. Unions have been almost eliminated. Stock buy-backs are legal again. Many industries have been deregulated. Social security and medicare are under attack and would be eliminated if conservatives got their way. Healthcare costs are out of control. The drug war is out of control. Environmental regulations are being dismantled. Public education is being dismantled. Military spending is out of control. Disaster capitalism is rampant. The Republican party has lost all sense of decency, integrity, and truthfulness. Right wing propaganda channels like Fox News and Brietbart are disinforming the populace.
The problem is that the world faces newer, more complex problems than in the 1960's, which demands much greener solutions.
See Noam Chomsky's analysis of the situation.
If income inequality continues at this rate the entire US economy could collapse. Yet here we are talking about a few radical feminist college students who grind JP's gears.

In practice most people will need to take several stepping stones before getting to their ultimate life purpose. I spent about 3 years building a business I hated in order to become financially independent enough to start my dream business.
That's what being a strategic motherfucker means. Most people never think that far ahead, and so their life reflects that.
Most people will not be able to start their dream career right off the bat because there are real-world financial and other limitations. Meaning you gotta plan and work towards it. Build skills, save money, develop social connections, etc.