I haven't found it any harder than integrating insights from a 10 day Vipassana retreat.
Integration is core to all spiritual practice. Do not assume you will just awaken and become an angel without a TON of integration work.
There is more work in integration than there is in having the awakening.
Try doing 30 days of Vipassana and then go spend a week living with your mother and see how that goes. See if you can keep your Vipassana insights while living with your mother.
It's easy to keep your Vipassana insights when you meditate for 8 hours a day in a cave non-stop while someone else prepares your food for you. It's much harder when you have to run a business, raise a family, attract a mate, cook your own food, do your own taxes, etc.

@Fountainbleu 
I overcame a severe TBI which occurred 3 years ago. It lasted for 2 full years. After losing everything, I'm back to 100% and, now, way beyond. 
Minor recommendations:
Meditate like your life depends on it. In complete blackness. Watch how quickly your suffering (not your pain) goes away. Journal every day. Go full out with self-actualization and use this opportunity to rebuild your entire life. That's how I used my concussion. Major recommendations:
Immediately switch to a whole foods plant based diet. Nutritionfacts.org is one solid resource.  Consider getting photobiomodulation therapy done: https://bioflexlaser.com/ (this may take anywhere from 10-30-50 sessions). My recommendation would be to go in for an initial diagnostic and then rent a unit and take it/ ship it home. It will be much cheaper that way. There are now a bunch of locations in the US and Canada.  Personal Note: A long time ago I planned to write an entire post on here about this. Once I found this, I healed by 90% in 2 weeks. There's no guarantee that it will work for you, but it's worth a shot. It's side-effect free. It uses light to stimulate the dead/non-functional cells, especially the mitochondria. It then produces ATP and increases oxygen absorption. The technology is so ridiculously simple but so ridiculously effective that I convinced my dad who's a Neurologist to put it into his practice. As I was working with him last summer (for about a month) I cured 3 people who had chronic migraines for over 50 years. And I've never heard from them again.  DO NOT go back to work, school, or anything. Take time completely off to heal. And then use every second to get better. DO NOT go back on anti-depressants or ANY medication except headache medication. Only if you're about to commit suicide would I recommend anti-depressants. People saying to take medication so that you can start a business and make money is the DUMBEST SHIT I've ever heard in my life. If  you listen to your body and take care of it, it will take care of you. Manipulating it for good grades, success, achievement, and money (which I tried to do) will leave you more depressed and more anxious and more sick and more miserable than you could ever imagine. You will literally go in the opposite direction of healing.
Please PM me if you'd like to talk. Virtually no one has any idea how to cure concussions or TBI. My dad, who's a neurologist, couldn't even help me. You're especially not going to find the answers on this forum. To even find that one resource I shared with you took years of research and was a divine gift from the universe. The great irony is that the concussion itself was also a divine intervention from the universe. It's how I found Actualized.org! I was fortunate enough to meet the guy who invented it and received treatment from him directly. Hopefully you won't squander what I've said here. This information was unbelievably hard won. 
PS: @Leo Gura
I've frequently heard you talking about your thyroid and other various physical ailments. Hopefully your right knee isn't still giving you trouble from that Reiki post I made a while back  Maybe we can ask that girl to send you another long-distance transmission.  I've been struggling to think of ways to provide value to you. Hopefully you can check out this resource (https://bioflexlaser.com/ ) if things ever get out of hand.

@SQAAD You (ego) cannot.
Egolessness is required. Surrender is required. Deep, profound surrender.
Consciousness is required. Profound consciousness. A blinding radiance that bleaches out all shadows.

If you mean Absolute Truth then your contemplations should eventually converge. But even so, there are many facets to Absolute Truth such that even the same person will not reach the same point twice in a row, never mind other people. The trick is that the Absolute is singular, but it can be seen in various light, so to speak, and it will be interpreted very differently by different minds. It's sort of like looking at an object with very little light in the room. The object itself is always the same, but the lighting conditions plus your perspective on that object plus your distance from that object determine what you will see. Someone from 100ft away at night will see something very different than someone 2 inches away in full daylight. And then there's your reactions, opinions, feelings, and judgments about the object. All of that makes it very unlikely that two people understand/see anything the same way, even the Absolute.
But even so, there should be some rough broad consensus.
As far as relative truths are concerned, the situation there is even worse. The mind will color everything in such a way that your understanding of relative truths will tend to be very different from other people. Because how you see the world is a direct reflection of how you must see it in order to survive. Survival distorts perception enormously. What you see, what you know, and how you understand things is almost totally dominated by your survival needs. Truth is hardly anything your mind cares about. Your mind is 99.9% preoccupied with survival. Which is why there is so much disagreement between people.

Overview
This has been my most powerful and profound trip to date. Including the closest I have got to any type of awakening experience.
 
Yesterday morning I did 5g of magic mushrooms at around about 10am and locked myself in by basement bathroom in complete silence and darkness until 4pm.
I had hundreds of profound insights about the nature of mind, reality, vibrations, energy and creation...including my first glimpse of the magnitude of infinity.
Preparation
In the days preceding my mushroom trip, I consulted these tarot cards that I have about whether or not doing this trip was a good idea.
I gave myself a reading with the tarot cards and I really like this method for judging whether or not tripping at a particular time is a good idea or not.
It's like how Terrence McKenna says in this video:
Where he consults the oracle. (skip to 15:50)
 
But anyways I got very good signs from my reading that I did on myself and one of my girl-friends who is a reader also agreed that the trip was a good idea so I decided to do it.
 
I chewed 5g of the mushrooms on an empty stomach and preemptively took a ginger pill to handle any nauseousness.

 
Then I filled up my bathroom in my basement with cushions and blankets and covered the windows so it was as dark as possible.
 
The Trip Begins
I sat down cross legged in the dark and meditated as I waited for the shrooms to come on. I set my intention to receive insight about the nature of reality and conciousness.
After about 30-40 minutes I began to feel the familiar shroomy feeling of wavy energy enter my body and I allowed my body to sway with the energy as I tried to stay anchored on my breathing.
My breathing began to feel more full as this energy pulsed through my body and it felt amazing.
For about an hour I was enjoying the climb up towards the peak which was filled with the energy beginning to work its way into my mind and creating long and profound thought chains about the ego, survival, and creation. At one point I called my friend for a couple minutes just to tell him how awesome I'm feeling.
 
I'm a Millionaire
Recently I've been reading a lot about affirmations and the law of attraction. 
As the energy was pulsing through my body and becoming stronger I got visions of how reality creates itself through vibrations at every second and I felt the urge to affirm "I'm a millionaire." over and over and over again.
At this point I also started recording myself (in pitch black but I captured the audio of me talking).
As I continued affirming "I'm a millionaire" I got super happy as if I had just won the lottery. 
I realised the power of affirmations and for a good 20 minutes I was in ecstasy at the idea that I am actually a millionaire.
I fully believed in the affirmation and I was able to See the vibrations beginning to manifest millions of dollars in my bank account.
This is when I got many profound insights about the process of creation and how reality creates through no mechanism but through direct consciousness and that if I can focus my attention on those positive vibrations of "I'm a millionaire" then I will spontaneously create a million dollars.
 
Ecstasy
Again, I have this whole section of the trip recorded and I would describe this part as nearing the peak of the trip.
I began writhing and rolling around on the floor as the energy invaded my body and brain and it felt fucking amazing.
I am just yelling "Holy fuck, oh my God, Holy fucking shit this is amazing, what the fuck is happening to me, holy fuck the vibrations are just creating every second."  for like 20 minutes straight as I'm swimming through the cushions and blankets in a complete full-body orgasm.
At this point I feel like my whole body is being healed and reborn which was actually predicted in my card reading that I gave myself earlier.
At this point I'm laughing and crying and rambling and having the most profound experience of my life...
I also had the insight "Being is vibration." but idk how accurate that is but it made sense at the time.
"I'm not seeing anything but I'm being everything."
 
Side note: I watched the whole video back and even though its pitch black at certain points you can clearly see white "snowflakes" floating around the screen as if the camera was picking up the enormously high amounts of energy that was invading my being. (coincidentally the power also went out in my town around this time but I didn't notice until later) 
 
A Glimpse of Infinity
After  I turned off the recording I was continuing my orgasmic bliss exclamations of "Holy fuck Holy fuck" and my thoughts spontaneously began to move into even more profound territory.
These weren't regular thoughts because they were very vivid and I could feel  them more fully than normal so I would feel safe saying that this was closer to direct consciousness than just regular thoughts.
There was one particular thought chain that I do not fully remember that basically lead to the realisation that I am nothing more than energy and that I am made of the same energy that everything else is made out of...At this point I felt my sense of ego begin to weaken more and more and I was beginning to contemplate the idea of dying and how it wouldn't be a problem at all because I'm just vibrations...At this point I became aware that I was very close to total ego death but I was not able to go fully over the edge...probably because I haven't done enough spiritual practice or I needed more substance....
Then there was another thought chain that showed me the magnitude of how infinite reality is...I feel like this particular thought chain was very "grand" and it was very charged with energy and I was having direct consciousness of every cell in every life form on Earth and how each cell is its own organism that wants to survive and reproduce and I realised "Its infinite! Its infinite! Its infinite!" and I was completely blown away and at the same time I was on all fours with my head down and I felt the energy spontaneously leave out through my feet with several violent trembles.
And then everything was still and silent.
 
Aftermath
There was a huge contrast between the loud and energetic thought-chains and the silence that followed.
My whole body was buzzing and trembling and I just lay down in awe for like 5 minutes and my mind was very quiet and still.
Then I sat up and began to look around and this is where the feeling began that I was not in control of my movements at all and I was just the observer.
I looked around the bathroom (my eyes had adjusted to the darkness) and I was tripping out like "What the fuck just happened? Am I enlightened? What the hell..."
I was on the brink of tears and I was so gracious to have had the opportunity to glimpse even a little hair on the tail of the ox. (Which is what I think it was)
I felt a very weak sense of ego still residing so I knew that I wasn't enlightened but I was definitely closer to ego-lessness than I have ever been.
After about 20 minutes the sense of self began re-forming again but I still maintained that sense of being the observer and not having control over my actions.
 
I just sat in awe and silence for another 30 minutes and then my Dad came home and I turned on the lights to realise how distorted and shroomy my vision was...I took sooooo much shrooms.
So I just buzzed out in the bathroom for another 20 minutes and then I tried to go up to my room to rest in my bed because I was exhausted...
I couldn't sleep and I definitely couldn't get comfortable but I just tried to relax and allow myself to come down from the high.
 
Around 6pm I was feeling a bit better and I was interacting with my family in a semi-normal way and we ate dinner together and stuff and everything turned out well.
 
That night I had a piercing headache that prevented me from sleeping restfully.
I'm feeling an ego backlash coming on but I'm just chilling out and not working too much so that I can recover fully.
 
Takeaways
- I have a lot more consciousness work to do but idk if I'm ready yet at this point in my life...I need to handle my survival first.
- 5g in silent darkness is definitely an amazing way to do mushrooms
- Thoughts manifest into reality 
- I'm a millionaire
- reality creates itself every second without a mechanism
- reality appears to be infinite
- shrooms are a powerful tool for consciousness growth
- consult the cards
 
Thanks for reading!
 

Sometimes you grow out of your passion onto something new. And sometimes you just need to rekindle your passion because you are doing it too mechanically, too much for external rather than internal reasons.
Taking time to contemplate your life in solititude helps enormously to figure what the problem is.

Try not to make a big spectacle of it. Then it won't be so dramatic and scary. With spiritual death you discover that you've jumped off a cliff only to land on the fluffiest feather mattress, so you're not really losing anything. Don't let the ego create a big story about how it's losing so much. You're mostly losing bullshit delusions and gaining peace and authenticity. So it's a good trade.
I've made the mistake in the past of over-dramatizing the ego-death part. Yes it happens but facing death is also not as hard or bad as it sounds. After a couple dozen ego-deaths it becomes natural and not a big deal.

Since God is Absolute Truth, even a hint of lying, dishonesty, falsehood, or inathenticity automatically severes your connection to God. That is okay. It is not "bad" to be seperated from God, but it painful since you become lost in your own falsehood. That is the definition of devilry.
Lying is only "bad" relative to if you want to be happy. If you are okay with being unhappy, then lie a lot. If you want to be happy, lie as little as possible. If you want to realize God, lie as little as possible.
There is only one reason you lie: fear. If you were immortal, untouchable, and fearless you would never lie. In other words if you were God, you'd never lie. Really think about that. That's deep.
Absolute ethics is Truth/Love. It is Goodness without an opposite. It is God.

An important insight I just realized about regarding leadership, interaction/communication/relationship, and sameness vs. difference:
Powerful influential leaders are very strategic to cultivate sameness with others.
To extend that...
Powerful leaders cultivate sameness with others in their interaction with others where there are very strong conceptual differences in order to plant in their minds that there is a common ground (sameness) which can help build a bridge or a link to allow for a shared and common identity and thus inclusion. 
Let's give a few examples to make this concrete and tangible:
If you go to another country and you're not familiar with their customs, it's helpful adopt certain mannerisms or styles and usage of language or ways of relating emotionally to help build a common bond with another. Those of you who have ever been an immigrant or an expat probably know exactly what I'm talking about... but did you do it consciously and strategically?   If you're running for a political office (let's say you're running for president) like say here in the United States where there's quite a variety of different cultures and also people at different stages of Spiral Dynamics and you're coming into the presidential race with 2nd Tier leadership orientation, you would probably find a way to appeal and build ground with those at ethnocentric stage blue and then use that as a way to lead them to your agenda that helps elevate them to say stage orange and also help them include you in their identity.  If you have a life purpose that's very grand and involves a leadership role or even in your relationships with others, this is an insight you should start contemplating and strategizing to implement and most importantly... PRACTICE!

@universe Funny you quoted me, i just finished journaling literally 40 seconds ago!
I have been journaling everyday of 2019, haven't missed a day.
I journal about how my day is going, what went well, what i can work on, what my goals are etc.
The more i journal, the more i realize that you don't need an external accountability partner as much as you need yourself on your side to be there for you.
It's easy to say "I'll remember to take this action next time" but when i get home from coaching or school, i usually head straight to One Note and say what i feel or what's on my mind.

Hi, been doing personal development since 2013 in high school after discovering actualized.org. Started it to deal with my crippling shyness and social phobias and began a challenging but extremely rewarding journey, going from wanting to be successful, to moving towards spirituality and fulfillment of my potential as reaching higher states of lovingness. Kind of gone of actualized.org and focus on spirituality and working with coaches which led me to by far the most effective self development tool and principle, letting go.
It is a meditation technique although rather than being done in separate meditation sessions it can be done continuously all the time while at work, talking to people etc. It seems to have all the benefits of meditation but is much more rapid.
Basically the principle behind it is we carry a huge reservoir of negative feelings, the letting go technique is simply allowing a negative feeling whenever it comes up, it is then relinquished and never comes back. E.g someone has grief over a break up, normally the emotions are kind of suffered through, or repressed via tv etc. Letting go would involve sitting with the feeling and not trying to change it, until eventually it runs out. 
 
This is the whole basis for the technique when you sit with a feeling and allow it fully without trying to change it, eventually it runs out and is replaced with a lighter feeling. There is no limit to this, you can literally release every painful emotion as it comes up, eventually you enter a state of unconditional love, it is even possible (veritably by the author of a book below and other experiences) to reach an enlightened state through this technique (since the basis of spirituality at it's core is surrender at depth to truth and god) . If have had this absolutely confirmed in my experience and many others, that you can continuously use this technique and become progressively happier and happier, and free from negativity, as well as beginning to transcend your feelings more and more the more you practice it. It's like an antivirus setting your life into an upward spiral, by clearing out all negativity as it arises. Using this non resistance and feeling the emotions as they arise you can resolve any pattern as it comes up, and resolve it for good, e.g fear depression.
It's not pleasant sometimes because it involves actually feeling your emotions, but the payoffs are enormous.
 
I mainly learned the technique from this book, which I highly highly recommend, have read somewhere around 50 self help books (many from leos book list)none have been as powerful as this. https://www.amazon.com/Letting-David-Hawkins-M-D-Ph-D/dp/1401945015
Also this video below provides a nice summary and all you need to use the technique if you don't want to buy the book. 
 
I'm happy to talk over skype or facebook if anyone wants to talk about the benefits of this technique in person, or I can guide you through how to do it, send me a message.

What does that even mean?
Because what I think it means is that you want to be romantically connected with someone and pretend that sex isn't important to you. Would you really want a good girlfriend whose pussy is so disgusting you can't touch it? Sorry for being explicit but I'm harsh because this attitude will hurt you. If you meet girls and have this shadow about your sexuality, not being open with it and pretending it's not that important, then girls will not feel relaxed around you and not want to open up sexually. Because she feels that you have unprocessed judgments there that she would be victim of.
No, not even "the right girl".
If you can't get the many, you can't keep the one. You can try to get into a relationship with "the right girl", but you will get clingy and needy on her and it won't be a great relationship. She will dump you and leave you destroyed. Because you skipped steps. You never had the 'abundance' phase, so she will have all the power in the relationship and that will turn her off long term.
I know you won't listen to this. Neither did I I had to experience it for myself as well, and fall on my face several times. It is only natural to want to skip ahead.

It is a free choice and up to the individual yes, but he's got sexual cravings.
If he wants sex he's gotta play the game of attraction and if he wants to connect with a girl properly he's gotta play the game of attraction as well.
Now, if he wouldn't have sexual cravings i would say go for it, skip it.
If you leave those cravings unsatisfied they will become wholes in your orange foundation.
Leo says that we gotta satisfy those cravings until we get sick of them and we are able to see that they are NOT the real deal.
I totally get it. But for me, from the stage i am at, money, success and having sex with hot beautiful women IS the real deal right now. Maybe later i will evolve or be enlightened or whatever. But  as of right now this is where i am at.
And it is cool and a good thing. Orange is not bad.

Last year I completed around 16 session's of CBT for OCD. I've just come across (notes) the insights I gained and learnt at the end of the therapy. Hopefully this may help anyone that is managing the same type of issues:
Always make the most emotionally difficult decision Checking and reassurance feeds OCD and or anxiety Reassurance is functionless (you don't believe the reassurance anyway and ultimately it adds to the anxiety, it is part of it (same movement)) The mind is unbelievably sneaky, extremely shifty so always be aware of subtle checking and reassurances that may be happening without you even knowing Always do the thing that will make you feel the least secure, the least comfortable, the least abnormal move. Love yourself and treat yourself like a vulnerable child (By checking I mean checking anything related to your OCD and or anxiety e.g. fixing your hair, looking at a specific part of your body, checking switches are turned off, checking other people's behaviours and or actions, the list goes on)
These insights I brought forward and applied into everyday life after therapy. They serve me well.

This is something Ive struggled with in the past. I feel like when we feel overly concerned with how others see us we will automatically start to judge them and where they stand (or relate) in many topics of discussion. You may hold a belief of “needing common viewpoints” in order to make a real connection with people, which isn’t the case. Try shifting your focus to simply understanding where they are coming from and not always finding a way to relate. Connection is not about relatability but about compassion/understanding and openness 

this could potentially solve all your problems. its another way of saying you potentially know what your solution to the problem is. be honest with yourself you have a hunch or intuitive feeling as to what you need to do to solve your problem. for me its healing my dull headache which could be caused from confused thinking. so when i saw this question from Leo's video (one note) the answer i gave was use neti pot and something else which im not going to mention as the possible solution to my issue.
so imagine you have overcome your problem how did you do it?

These videos articulate probably my most painful realisation. It's not because it's ugly... on the contrary. When I say the most beautiful thing is coming out of this I'm not even exaggerating. It may sound wicked, but loosing all of my closest souls because of ignorance of my own shadow isn't the hardest part of it. It is the devastation of the delusions...delusions about my level of development, love, identity, purpose, mastery... It goes on. Agonising at beginning and still painful, but life started unveiling. Do you realise what potential do you have? To experience life. This is outside of concepts or thought. Turn inwards and start listening to your own being.
@ajasatya You weren't kidding brother ❤️??. You really weren't. 
All pretence of how life is or should be dissolving. It's unfathomable how radical it is. As sadhguru puts it - this is "a different dimension of life". 
This did not come momentarily or in an instant - it is actually paving the way to the flow and evolution of life. There ain't an "End Game", but an end to "your game". 
@Serotoninluv ❤️?? - A big reason for my fall was the pretence with which I thought I understood emotions and connections. Putting myself on the spiral was part of the very same developmental and spiritual ego. I have come across Gabor Mate, but you pointed to a depth that I missed that is currently helping me establish a healthy connection with all excluded elements of my psyche.
 
Freeing yourself from the burden that is only your creation is probably the most important thing. My shadow (me) is molding my experience in ways I could not imagine. I've had really deep intellectual and conceptual realisation. But this shit is another dimension. 
The only thing you can do is devote yourself to life and transforming yourself. Nothing else is even close. Nothing. 

Well, what you resist will persist, so this is not a valid strategy.
   If you have problems with motivation and LP just try thinks you haven’t tried before. DO NOT think about them, do not conceptualize, and do not even read about them. Just pick one and GO. A new hobby, a habit, a diet, maybe some events you never tried before, anything. Your passion in life might be hidden somewhere between them. Just take this advice seriously, don’t underappreciate the power of small change. Chose 1 NEW thing and try. Stop indulging in mental masturbation if you do it.
 
   About negative emotions. Try this:
Ask yourself – why I feel sad?
Because XYZ.

Then ask, why XYZ is a problem?
Because A.

Why A is a problem,
Because B.

Why B is a problem.
Because C.

Do this loop until you have an epiphany. You might not be aware what you hide from yourself.

@flowboy I've gone through this mind-body dynamic and know how intense it is. The mind-body will try to behave in a way it thinks will keep the relationship going (e.g. "I better not text her again because I may look desperate"). Ime, this is not the healthiest way to go. The underlying mind-body dynamic that needs to get addressed is the sense of being incomplete and insecure. When the mind-body is with the gal, there is temporary relief from insecurity/anxiety and a temporary sense of being complete. Yet, the incomplete/insecure dynamic will return and continue on, until the underlying issue is addressed.
This is just my opinion based on my experience. . . To me, this looks like a counter-intuitive situation. As hard as it is to do, I would sit and get grounded with the sense of insecurity and attachment. I would try to get enough detachment that I could discuss the dynamic with her without any attachment. This is a very high level of emotional maturity. . . Sometime when you are with her, the conversation might go something like this "I was doing some introspective work and noticed a mixture of attraction and fear arising. I thought 'how interesting'. So, I observed this energy to get to the root of it's source. After some contemplation it seems like. . . "  Being genuine and grounded with fearless vulnerability is a sign of a mature confident man. Yet, it can't be said in a clutchy "don't leave me" desperate way. Also, it can't be said with too much intensity. Don't make it some huge deal and bring in stuff about childhood, past failed relationships, therapy that didn't work etc. You've got to say it from a detached, curious, genuine, grounded position. As if you were talking about a friend you care about. People pick up on neediness and clutchiness and it is unattractive. As well, the timing is important.
I would only do this if you want a meaningful relationship based on mutual support with who you really are. If you want a sexual fling, I would not go this route and I would work on role playing development (you would essentially be playing an actor with her that is not the true you). If you go the meaningful relationship route, it's not easy. It took me years to get grounded enough to have these types of conversations. You've got to be ok with either reaction from her. She may say "You are a beta male. I'm looking for more of an alpha male. Sorry. See ya". Yet, that is good to know if you want a meaningful relationship, you can move on. Or she may say something on the same wavelength like "hmmm, I've experienced that too in life. I've never really thought about it like that. I've been doing some self-love practices lately that have helped". It won't be this exact phrase, yet something that creates a connection, support and continues a mutual exploration. If so, you are GOLDEN. You can now discuss this dynamic with her without fear and anxiety and it's something the two of you could work through.
If this dynamic has been a pattern in the mind-body, it will continue to arise. Trying to repress it or hide it in the relationship doesn't work. It will get expressed one way or another. 
I've been in every combination of this dynamic. I dated a gal I was really really into and had this conversation and she dropped me because I wasn't "manly" enough in a traditional sense (good riddance to her). Another woman I was into became super attracted by this level of emotional awareness and with the strength of fearless vulnerability. We began to get to know each other below the surface - it's so much deeper.

Some 2 hours ago I meet an amazing woman randomly, full of life and energy, amazing eyes. We connected in a blink of an eye. Then we talked and stuff, connected more. I asked her if she believes in God and she said ‘’Yes, I believe in God’’. She continued and said ‘’You must have God in your soul’’. I answered ‘’Yes, I do.’’ Then I just wanted to say it just for the fuck of it and because I felt that she really had some contact with God. I said ‘’I believe in God in my soul but I have also become aware that I am God.’’ 
She made a very strong eye contact with me and I cannot explain it, then she said ‘’Me too.’’ A shock came over me, never have I meet someone who is conscious that she or he is God. We talked some more, how we became conscious of God and so on. She told me she had to go to work and she gave me her number, I thanked her and told her that I will call you then we can talk more about God etc. I’m in bliss that I have meet someone conscious that she is God for the first time, that I will meet her again.

If you are closer to yellow than orange, a new form of ambition will arise. Orange motivation is need-based. Desires arise for the psychological self. Yellow and Turquoise is post-self. Ambition is not self need-based. The ambition is to explore and discover. To have direct experience of the magnificence of life.
If you have repressed aspects of Orange, you may need to deconstruct and work through that. As well, there are several different developmental lines (cognitive, emotional, spiritual etc). You may be further evolved along some developmental lines. 
If one is centered at Green or Yellow along a developmental line, you don't regress. And who would want to? Orange is like drinking gutter water and Yellow/Turquoise is like drinking fresh spring water. Even Green is 10X better than Orange.

@NoSelfSelf In order to see your ignorance first-hand, you need to suffer and self-reflect.
Don't try to be smarter than yourself, you're not. Accept that you're orange and act like it, even if your pride does not allow it.
Like @Michael569 said, there are no shortcuts to growth.

Low self esteem people tend to be very insecure, helpless, and needy. They love to play victim.
When you are incapable of meeting your basic needs your entire life becomes dysfunctional and backwards. You are forced to resort to outrageous degrees of selfishness just to maintain your basic existence.

@Amadeusz You young people who follow me have to understand that I talk about extremely advanced stuff (nowadays). Really, really, really advanced stuff! It took me tens of years of earthly development before I got to the lofty topics I'm now covering. There are many earthly materialistic development topics which I hardly cover at all even though they are very important for the average viewer.
It's sort of like I'm teaching a college calculus class but you walk in by accident as a 5th grader. You need to handle the basics first.
What most of you guys need is some basic Tony Robbins shit. Do some of that before you try to get all spiritual. Be mindful of getting ahead of your skiis.

The upside of rolling solo is that you grow very fast, as long as you're able to do approaches. If you're going out solo and you're so scared that you don't even approach, then you're not ready for that yet. You need a wingman/friend.
@Brenzo2 You mean you're in a relationship but you want to build your pickup skills at the same time? That's hard. In practice, once you get in a comfortable relationship your pickup skills will suffer. There's a trade-off.
@Joel3102 Yes, it certainly is, but it's going to take much more work than you imagine at the outset. But the upside is that it will also be much more rewarding (in terms of growth) than you imagine. To really get good at pickup you need to hit it hardcore for a couple of years, approaching 5000+ people. You need to take it very seriously. A half-assed attitude will not work here. You basically need to rewire and retrain much of your mind. Attraction is extremely counter-intuitive. It will shock you. You'll be in for some rude awakening. It will be emotionally difficult. But it will grow you like crazy. If you do it, don't do it for the sex, do it for the stronger man it makes you. It can also be very fun and exciting compared to sitting at home and playing Fortnite. Doing pickup hardcore makes you feel ALIVE! It makes you feel like a hero on his journey towards manhood.
I highly recommend handling this part of your life. Just don't be a douche, don't hurt women, and don't develop an ideology or identity around it.
If you want to get serious about learning this skill set, you must bite the bullet and move to a large city with great nightlife and lots of hot girls. LA, NYC, Chicago, Miami, Austin, Vegas, London, etc. It's very worth it. Don't be trying to learn pickup in some redneck part of the world. You need volume to practice on. If you're not willing to relocate, you're not very serious about it.
But at the same time, don't make excuses if you can't relocate immediately. Begin wherever you're at and make plan to upgrade your situation.
Pickup is not just about attracting girls. Pickup is about upgrading your entire lifestyle. It's about better nutrition, better fitness, better apartment, better decor, better cloths, better haircut, better friends, better car, better everything. Transform yourself into an attractive fucking man with an awesome life such that a woman would be itching to be around you. Shed your old childish ways. Become awesome. When you become a truly awesome, valuable man, guys and girls will flock to be around you. This is not some gimmick. You are actually becoming awesome. It's a total makeover.
But also don't get lost in it. Return to spirituality once you've completed that phase of your life.
P.S. There are always limits to everything a human does. Don't let that stop you from being awesome. You don't need to sleep with 100 girls. You don't need to become the Michael Jordan of pickup. You just need to become decent and score a few girlfriends. Which basically any guy can do.