Ever since I was a kid, my biggest dream was to become a professional musician. To do nothing else but what I loved. To live, eat and breathe my passion. Music.
It was just so obvious to me, even at a very young age; that's what I'm here to do. That's what I'll dedicate my life to. Every moment of it.
Even in times when I was doing things that at first glance had nothing to do with my passion, I saw the links.
I knew I'll find my way, no matter which route I take.
I dropped out of high school knowing that. I worked as a waiter for a while, knowing I'll be quitting soon. Everything was temporary. And in my mind, every step was getting me closer to realizing the dream. 
Three and a half years ago, I took things to another level. 
Even though my job was offering me a really nice, comfortable living, I could not stand still anymore. The fire within me was burning so wildly. I knew it was time to answer the call. So I gathered all my courage, quit my job and surrendered myself to the unknown based on nothing but blind faith.
I embarked on a journey, an adventure, leaving everything behind. Everything but my heart and love for music. I was ready to fully align with my purpose. No matter what tomorrow brings.
And boy did it feel great. I was never so alive. So vibrant. So on my track. So fulfilled. Blissful. Proud. Confident.
I was a traveling musician. And even though I was kinda struggling financially, it did not bother me too much at the time. I was producing beats for people I met along the way, mixed and mastered a few tracks for some bands, played a few solo gigs. I was getting by. But I wasn't really focused on my music. I wasn't selling any of it. It was mainly about service to others. So after a while, that got me thinking again. I wanted to have a source of income that would allow me to fully focus on my own material. Doing all this stuff for others was quite time and energy consuming.
On top of it all, I fell in love with a girl. Hard. We moved in together very soon after. And that triggered an even bigger need for more money. I wasn't flowing around so carefree and effortlessly anymore. I started feeling more and more pressure.
We were still traveling and that was cool, but I was less and less focused on music, again. I shifted my focus on figuring out a way to earn online. As much as possible, with a least amount of effort.
I started "chasing money".
That ended up being a journey on its own. Tried tons of things. Some stupid and ridiculous, others just simply irrelevant and inappropriate. Lots of hope. Devastation. Effort. Failure.
It took me more than a year of this mad cycling, but I finally discovered THE THING. THE WAY. It's just so obviously perfect. It fits right into the picture. Compliments my lifestyle. My ultimate dream. And if mastered, it requires little to no effort. And offers absolute financial freedom. It's an unlimited source of financial abundance. It is the very core of the financial world. It's where money lives, lol.
But. It must be mastered fully.
So that's what I've been putting in all of my time and energy for the past year or so. Studied tons, failed some, got up, continued learning. All in order to master this craft. To have a smooth and steady flow of income and finally get back to music, full force. Without having to worry about finances, ever again.
It became clear to me a while ago; I don't want my art, my music to be compromised. I don't want to put any pressure on my passion just because I need to pay those bills and afford living. I want my process of creating to be pure and undisturbed. So ultimately, I know why I'm doing all this. I know it's worthwhile. But it's fucking rough at times. It feels like I'm putting my soul on hold. On "stand by". It's been so long since I was in my creative flow. 
 
Days pass like minutes and there is doubt at every corner. 
"Is this really what I'm supposed to be doing?"
"Should I go back, find a steady job and start all this over, again?"
"Should I settle with the idea of just getting by and playing music for myself and those passing by?"
"I dream of fancy equipment, studios and touring. Are my dreams unrealistic? Unreachable?"
"Is this just not meant for me? Is there a bigger, divine plan that I'm unaware of?"
"Do I just feel unworthy, deep inside? Is that what's making this so difficult?"
"Should I just keep pushing? I did not come this far to give up! Everything will work out perfectly."
If I give in, these thoughts lead to nothing but paralysis. Demotivation. Madness.
Thank God I became good at letting them go. Not buying into any nonsense. But that's yet another thing. Combine deep, intense, hardcore awakening with this crazy journey of mine and things can feel just straight over the top. 
Haha.
I don't really know where I'm going with this. Not searching for an answer or any advice really. Though I will surely appreciate your thoughts and views.
I guess I just needed to express things. Get it all off my chest.
Thank you for listening, actualized.org
 

No, it has it's value. We just need to be conscious of its limits.
If it had no value I wouldn't have it on my book list.
Try to be more nuanced in your thinking. Things aren't good or bad, valuable or valueless. It's all in the details.
Tools of the mind need to be used properly to avoid traps and errors.

Good, this is called Wu Wei, or effortless action.
Your spirituality is skin deep if it is forced, premeditated, or mechanical. The key is to make it a seamless activity of your whole life, your natural way of being.
Spontaneous action from a place of surrender and presence is the goal of all our work.

These days YT is very over-saturated. You have no idea how competitive and manipulative marketing is. It's a blood sport. This is not a game. You are talking about money here. Tens of millions of dollars. People are ready to kill you for money. Never forget that.
Internet success is highly manipulated behind the scenes in ways which most of you cannot imagine. It is a Wild West for hacking, spaming, bots, money exchanges, politics, deal-making, backstabbing, lying, manipulating, stealing, bribery, exploitation, etc. This is how business works. It's ugly behind the scenes. Do not assume that internet success is "natural". There's nothing natural about most of it.
Many giant internet companies defrauded their way to success and all of it is kept secret, creating the illusion of "natural" growth.

@RawJudah Like I say, the things I teach are way too advanced for most humans. This is not a flex. This is really advanced stuff that most humans cannot fathom or handle. You've sorta got yourself in the deep end here.
It's important to keep in mind that most humans beings have the consciousness level not much higher than animals. So this stuff is not suitable for most people.

Karma is much more than fear mongering.
This topic is too complex and advanced to discuss on a forum. You'd need decades of advanced spiritual practice to begin to understand such things and I'm nowhere near understanding all that.
If you violently disrupt consciousness (via suicide), it's not unreasonable to expect a ripple effect which cascades from such an event, disrupting the evolution of consciousness. Don't think of it as a punishment, think of it as a natural consequence of self-rejection and self-hatred. How can consciousness continue its evolution if it hates itself so much it cannot even finish out one human life?

That's a bit questionable. I'm not certain how much of Obama was Yellow or Orange/Green. It's hard to tell without knowing him more deeply.
Keep in mind, the higher a person is up the Spiral the harder he is to assess accurately because there is more uniqueness of expression at Tier 2.
Bernie is definitely more progressive than Obama, so I see Bernie as a step up for American politics. He is certainly less acceptable to the mainstream than Obama. America has yet to elect a solid, powerful Green leader. Few people embody solid Green. It's one thing to dabble in Green, it's another thing to really master it as Bernie has.
For America to elect a solid Green leader would be a massive step forward. And it would cause a serious backlash as well. Bernie will not be well tolerated by many people even if he is elected. Turbulent times are ahead as America is forced to go Green kicking and screaming. We need to solidify in Green before we start worrying too much about Yellow. Green is good enough for now.

They are not the same spectrum at all.
SD is a lot more modest and successful as a model. SD does not rank people in a simplistic fashion. It acknowledges that people are complex and occupy multiple colors across multiple lines.
I notice that many of you here have not studied SD deeply. You have a very surface level understanding of it based purely on watching my videos, which is a problem.

Found out about this guy a couple of months ago, devoured all possible podcasts/books/articles he is part of in a short period of time. Sadly, there isnt too much from him on youtube - lets hope this changes in the future!

Just a brilliant, very no bullshit & nuanced thinker (which is very rare nowadays)! I have to admit that I didnt like his book a lot because it seems quite superficial and stuffed with buzz words - basically the complete opposite to any of his podcast appearances.

Here are few of my favorite pieces! Enjoy!
 
 

Keep the following four things in mind. Remind yourself of them 20+ times a day.
Progress, not perfection. You'll never be perfect. We neurotically seek perfection in everything we do and it often stalls us. forget perfection. Focus solely on 0.5% growth spurts. They Compound. Failure = Growth. Failure is good. Negative feelings are not "bad", they should be observed and focused upon. Negative emotions are guiding lights. Mindful observation of failures enables proactive progress in the face of failure. There is no failure, there is no perfection . . . there is only growth and learning. Breath. Deep, slow, mindful breathing. Stupid is a naive word. stupidity doesn't exist, there is only naivety and we're all naive. Being naive isn't "bad". observing such allows one to go into learning, training and progress. Attempt to ditch the word stupid and embrace Not-Knowing. Read books. Lot and lots of books. Don't cling to an ideology. Be openminded. Observe everything. Try not to compare yourself to others. Try to understand why the human brain neurotically does so and this will help you to flow. Understanding can bring peace.
The 5 steps to Growth
Awareness Understanding Acceptance Positive Action Positive Growth/Change  
 

Hehehe...
The whole point of spirituality is to face what is true and face all of one's fears.
Your father will never awaken so long as he fears seeing sinister astral beings.
All fear is fear of one's own consciousness. And until this is full realized, one will never awaken.
He should take psychedelics precisely because he fears them. What he really fears is himself.

In practice this is solved simply by over-satisfying your needs.
So if you're needy with girls, go sleep with 10-20 girls and your neediness will drop significantly.
You cannot just wish your neediness away.
The process you go through to successfully sleep with 10-20 females will cure you of much neediness. But it will be challenging process. Don't expect it to be easy. You will fail a lot. And that's exactly what will beat the neediness out of you. Every girl you lose will teach you a valuable lesson. You will come face-to-face with the ugliness of your own neediness.

Amazing video. Some contemplation questions to leverage the video into our lives:
What is structure? What is content? What is their relationship?
What are the main structures that are dictating my life? What structures am I not aware or? Which would I like to change and how?
Where am I lost in content, when structure is the true cause?
Another excercise I think could be interesting:
take one problem in your life, and try to analyse it not at the cause-effect small picture content level, but try to go meta on it:
- Where have I encountered a similar problem before?
- What are the hidden assumptions and rules dictating that situation?
- Could it be the way that the structure is set up that is causing the problem, instead of an isolated action or incidence within it?
- What structures are even in play in this scenario?
For example, let me try to analyse an argument I had with my girlfriend:
Small picture:
My girlfriend asked me a few things in a row whilst I was giving her a massage. I got annoyed, and told her in bolt manner that I don’t like it when she takes over control when I give a massage. She got silent, I felt something was up. I asked her multiple times if she was oke, she insisted yes. After some more questioning, we got into a debate. I tried to reason with her for a long time, just trying to “talk it out”. After a lot of tha we hugged, she cried and released emotion, problem resolved.
Structure analysis:
We have had similar arguments that have the same structure:
- I get annoyed by something she does multiple times, I dont say anything until I am frustrated.
- Than I do say something, but in an angry manner.
- She gets hurt.
- I notice she gets hurt and try to talk about it with her.
- We talk for a long time without resolution. (Often I am no longer mad or hurt, she is and I try to “fix it”).
- After the long talking we stop talking and she releases her emotions through hugging and crying
- Conflict resolved.
So, by looking at it bigger picture, it becomes clear that our conflicts often have the same structure. This type of structure had played itself out at least 5-10 times in the last 6 months.
Further structural analysis:
I have this structure where I have certain expectations about a situation that I do not communicate. My girlfriend is not aware of them, and can “violate” my expectations. Instead of mentioning it when I first notice it, I try to play it cool and try to be nice. This builds up resentment in me until I react to it in a unconscious mean way, which hurts her.
now we are in the situation that she is hurt. She also tries to play it cool and suppress her emotions, trying to not make a big deal out of it. This counter-intuitively makes a bigger deal out of it, because it more tension is build up as I try to bring it to the surface.
When it comes to the surface, I try to resolve the situation by logically debating. Assuming this will solve it, because I as a guy would like to resolve it that way. This actually does not work, because its at the level of emotion for her, and reasoning will not help it. Instead (we talked about this), when she is hurt I should try to penatrate that hurt by loving her and hugging her, making her feel safe. This is actually what happends at the end of the structure, but in between there is an hour of unnecessary discussion.
So we see how my assumptions and structural reactions create a disfunctional pattern in our relationship. By staying in the content of the debate this cannot be solved. We have to go meta and see the bigger structure at play.
(ps. Ladies let me know how much of my analysis makes sense here ?)
 

This is a very deep ignorance to correct in someone. A person who believes that there is no value in existential investigation is hard to convince that it has value. It requires serious inquiry to start to appreciate the limitations of things like language, science, psychology, culture, etc. Only very seriously openminded and curious people will go down that rabbit hole.
Entire books could be written (and have been written) about the limitations of science, language, and psychology. It requires a lot of reading, research, and personal contemplation to start to see a big enough picture, then the limitations become glaring. Until then it will appear like there are no problems.
In practice maybe just skirt around the issue. Rather than trying to convince people that science or language is limited, just teach them whatever helpful thing you want to teach them which is beyond those limits. If you teach people helpful techniques they won't really care if it's "scientific" or not. People are suckers for effective, practical techniques that can help improve their life.

@Preety_India This is a communication problem. You need to communicate authentically with him. Tell him exactly what you told us and leave room for him to speak his mind.
There cannot be a relationship without honest and genuine communication where both partners can air their thoughts & feelings without argumentation or debate. It's called "clearing". You two sit down, each takes 5 minutes to talk without interruption and gets everything of his/her chest. Then you switch sides. No interrupting, no debating, no rebutting, no justifying, no criticizing, no name-calling, no blaming. Just say how you feel and what you want. Let him do the same.
Of course he must be emotionally mature enough to handle this kind of communication.
If he cannot handle it, if he refuses to try it and put effort into it, then leave him because it will never work anyway. A relationship with such a person is impossible.

This is fairly typical if you go deep into the work.
The devil is not controlling you. The devil is purely imaginary.
If you're feeling lost and down, you can lean on the power of love.
Self-love is what you are missing.
Psychedelics can give you a powerful love awakening which really helps to take the sting out of this work.

What Leo says ^^^^
Imagine you have two friends, one is concious, the other a zombie.
You decide to try and work which is which. You watch them for many weeks, but still you can't tell, they behave in very similar ways. Frustrated you start asking them questions. "Are you a zombie?", "No! How dare you!". All the questions you ask come to no avail. You can't tell the difference.
You finally come to the realisation that you're going about it the wrong way.
No matter how you interact with your two friends, it is always appearing in your conciousness awareness.  The appearance and behaviour of your friends is always being interpreted and conceived by you. There's no way around this. Even if you could see through their eyes, it would still be your conscious awareness.
There's no way to know if they're concious or not. You can only tell that you are concious.
But it gets worse, because you yourself are being interpreted and conceived as well (by your ego)! Consciouness doesn't need YOU. YOU are the Zombie.

You're misunderstanding a few key points.
1) All models are limited. There is no such thing as "a valid model".
2) You are expecting a social consensus and authority on cutting edge insights which almost no humans know about. That's not how knowledge works. Maybe in 100 years you will have that. But by that point your presention will be useless because everyone will already know it. The whole point of cutting edge teachings is that people will deny them like subborn mules. So this idea of using authority firgures to prove your point is backwards.
3) You need to spend a lot more time studying Spiral Dynamics and developmental psychology in genernal before you can appreciate what SD offers and its limitations.
4) SD is a very complex model which maps very complex phenomena. This is not like mapping a few molecules or billard balls, which is easy compared to mapping the collective human psyche.

Frederic Laloux has written a book about stages of development of organizations and used Wilber's nomenclature in doing so. It's called Reinventing Organisations. I totally vouch for it, it's a great book.
In this book he has listed people working on development thories starting with:
Ken Wilber A Brief History of Everything Integral Psychology Jenny Wade - Changes of Mind And others like:
Don Beck - Spiral Dynamics Susanne Cook-Greuter - Ego Development Georg Feuerstein - Structures of Consciousness James Fowler - Stages of Faith Carol Gilligan - In a Different Voice Clare W. Graves - The Never Ending Quest Robert Kegan - In Over Our Heads Lawrence Kohlberg - The Philosophy of Moral Development Jane Loevinger - Ego Development Jean Piaget - The Psychology of the Child

I'm not revealing yet what the new course will be about.
But it will be a course that is useful to 100% of people and my viewers, regardless of where you are on your path. It doesn't matter whether you're into spirituality or not at all, this course will be hella useful to you. It doesn't matter whether you've watched a single Actualized video before, or if you've watched them all. But if you've watched them all, this course will help you to implement it.
It will not be about enlightenment or metaphysical topics.
It will not be redundant to the LP course. Both courses will be useful on their own, and also synergize together.
The new course is not "more up-to-date" because it simply covers different/new material. And the material covered in the LP course is timeless. It will still be useful 50 years from now.
If you're following my free videos, you should also supplement them with more practical, less metaphysical teachings from other sources. Actualized's focus is big picture understanding of life, not so much about making you successful. There are tons of sources available for nitty-gritty success techniques and tips. I offer a bit of that, but it's not our main focus here because that ground has already been well-covered by others and because we seek a deeper level of development than success tips can offer.

@Bridge to Infinity Right. That's very common for newbies. As you fail over and over again you'll start seeing patterns in how your needy and weak behavior turns them off.
It takes a lot of practice.
At this point you would benefit from learning a bit of the fundamental theory behind female attraction. Most important for you is correcting your sub-communication: your eye contact, your body posture, your tone of voice, your physical touching, your smile, your attitude, your presence, etc.
This is the most important part of game. It's not the things you say, its how and why you say them, and the things you don't say.
You can attract women just by looking at them in the right way.
If your interactions are dominated by fear, neediness, attachment, trying to impress her, trying to get her to like you, meekness, or being a dancing monkey -- you will lose a lot of girls.
It's important that your interactions carry a man-to-woman sexual charge/intent. When you look at her in the eyes, she should feel like if you are ever alone with her you will fuck her. This is very different from your typical friendly chit-chat. You don't need to say anything sexual, but your intent needs to be clear from the very beginning. Look at her like you're going to fuck her. You have to risk getting rejected. Those who don't reject you will hook hard.
When you are fearful, she can see it in your eyes and hear it in your tone of voice.
Work on your smile. Make sure you're able to smile a lot and on cue. Always open with a smile.
Learn to pump up your own emotional state so that you're in a good state when you're talking to her. State is huge. If you're in a bad emotional state she will sense it off you and react negatively.
The ideal state is playful, carefree, yet decisive.

Pickup is a lot like Zen. The harder your try to act how you should, the less you will succeed.
It's very counter-intuitive.
Ultimately all that good pickup is teaching you is:
1) Go talk to lots of girls!
2) Be authentic, don't be a dancing monkey, and be willing to get rejected for who you are. This will look different for each guy because authenticity is relative.
3) Don't be socially awkward or creepy.
But to really learn these lessons you gotta go out a lot and fail a lot. You will try to impress girls a 1000 different creepy ways until you learn it.
95% of your results from pickup simply come from you going out every night and approaching. The theory only accounts for the other 5%. So don't waste too much time worrying about the theory. You learn by going out and talking to females. The theory will tend to put you inside your head, doubting yourself.
The reason you've been having success is simply because you've been going out. If you go out long enough, sex will randomly fall on your lap. Some nights you will get laid for no good reason whatsoever, simply because you happened to be in the right place at the right time.

The way people in mainstream culture throw around the word "cult", they use it to disparage any POV which contradicts the ones they're comfortable with. It's often a materialist defense mechanism. But of course materialism is the biggest cult of all.
See my 2 part series on Cult Psychology to really understand how deep this issue goes.
The most amazing thing about cults is that people don't realize they're in one. But if that's true, how do you know you weren't in one since birth?
Culture

Well, my style and communication are mostly on display for all to see.
It's not really worthwhile to teach style to people because they need to find their own style and method which is authentic to who they are. It's a trap to try to follow directly in my footsteps. Rather you can teach and mentor people but do it in a way that most aligns with you. Develop your own style and method. That's how you'll really shine.
The world does not need more Leo's. It needs you to be fully, authentically you.
One of the biggest traps with having teachers and mentors is that you start to copy them too much. To really flourish in life you must eventually let go of your teachers and mentors and go your own way. Like a bird leaving the nest.

The name of your channel is irrelevant to its popularity.
Achieving popularity is a lot harder than finding a popular name. It's about creating the right kind of content and marketing it in the right ways to the right people.
If you get those 3 things right you could name your channel HairyMonkeyBallz and it would do great.
Be careful naming things using your full real name because everything you put out will be permanently tied to you forever. It's very easy to screw up your reputation forever.