DakotaBaba

Thanks for responding man , I may muster up the courage to try a low dose of mushrooms someday . I probably wont take mdma again for at least 3 months if ever , its feels cool though, im happy as fuck and feel very positive and loving but my self inquiry work has me super detached so im just watching this happy ass person but i know this state is transient so it's like whatever . I'm having a bunch of insights on embracing paradox of life and not prescribing and confining myself to any absolute truths or doctrines and expecting people to give me magic pills of knowledge in one statement or video though because nobody is perfect and everyone is just trying to help everyone else to the best of their ability , so that's cool. Thank you for being open enough to even consider drugs on your self-discovery and self-actualization journey,I don't know why but i thought you were absolutely anti drugs (besides supplements) a few months ago lol

Any activity that dissolves the illusion of being a separate entity , another name for such an activity is Satsang . Walking in nature , meditating, exercising, watching non-duality youtube videos, sex etc. whatever induces that experience and brings your particular body-mind-personality into the truth of your nature and the truth of reality. This video talks about this particularly around 6:55 but the whole video is great .

I have some sitting around and I'm thinking about either taking it at home and just meditating and doing self-inquiry ( same thing to me , I do mostly Advaita Vedanta meditation which is "being aware of being aware") . Was wondering if anyone has experience, knowledge or comments on MDMA . This would be my first psychedelic drug I have ever taken besides weed and weed used to make me very paranoid so i stopped smoking it a long time ago but that was before i even knew what meditation was so idk how it would feel now if i took it , but I suspect I would probably have a much better chance of being able to keep my cool and enjoy it . I initially thought about trying meditation on mushrooms but I'm honestly kind of afraid of them due to horror stories I have heard from intelligent people like Sam Harris who warn that there is no real foolproof way to avoid bad tips on them no matter how experienced you are at meditating or drug use . Below is a quote from an article on his site and a video where he talks about psychedelics and his good and bad experiences with them. "I cannot account for why my adventures with psychedelics were uniformly pleasant until they weren’t, but once the doors to hell opened, they appeared to have been left permanently ajar. Thereafter, whether or not a trip was good in the aggregate, it generally entailed some excruciating detour on the path to sublimity. Have you ever traveled, beyond all mere metaphors, to the Mountain of Shame and stayed for a thousand years? I do not recommend it." https://www.samharris.org/podcast/item/drugs-and-the-meaning-of-life But I don't hear much about people having bad trips on mdma so I'm thinking about giving it a shot today either at home alone or with my friends outside by the beach later tonight. What do you guys think? edit* said fuck it and just took 100 mg will report back with experience later. Random bonus quote from one of Osho's books below lol "Many people are experimenting with the drug ecstasy. I heard you say once that a lie is sweet in the beginning and bitter in the end, And truth is bitter in the beginning, and sweet in the end. I have been meditating, but I don't have the experiences people report from the drug ecstasy"

Enlightened people like mooji say you don't need a life purpose and the need for it is out of egoic selfishness and fear and a lack of trust in yourself and your life. So why find a life purpose when you can use that energy and time to focus on enlightenment ,meditation, and spirituality ? Life purpose has some advantages but enlightenment work/self-inquiry just seems so much more powerful and superior that it seems to me like working on life purpose is just an inefficient use and waste of time in comparison. And it's also covering up the symptoms of all your life problems , instead of attacking it at the core problem that's causing your unhappiness and life problems which is your lack of awareness and false identification with you thoughts and emotions aka ego.

Is the examining of thoughts and beliefs really necessary though ? What if I just ignore the tangled up bundle thoughts,emotions, beliefs etc. and instead just focus on the sense of presence behind my eyes in my head somewhere in the middle, that feeling of "I am" or awareness . If i just focus my attention on that a few minutes or so everyday can't I just skip all the thinking and theories and shit and just wait a few months until my attention has naturally become so grounded in that feeling of being , that its more real to me than thoughts or beliefs and im more identified with that sense of presence than I am with my thoughts and emotions and body like I am currently am? I recently had a breakthrough in my meditation practice because i started watching some videos from some enlightened people( Mooji and Rupert Spira) and they have a effortless approach to meditation that makes it much more simple,direct, and easy for me. Im not sure yet because i just started studying there teachings but I think they both hint at the fact that the first step to become enlightened is to become grounded in your being and focus on the background of stillness in all your experience. I guess after that you do self inquiry on this sense of "I am" until you realize its just a thought that is also noticed and you are actually not behind your eyes as a separate subject but you are everywhere . Not totally sure about that last step though, but I know for sure they both say the first step is become grounded in the sense of presence and " I am"

Yeah I get what you're saying and I know it's not my choice whether she decides to have sex with other people. It's not about jealousy, or me trying to control her. I already told her If she decides to try sex with other guys that's her choice and she is free to do so , she just has to promise to let me know or break up with me before she does it. I am not that open-minded dream guy you speak of, only threesomes I would agree to is with an additional woman. Any girl I have a threesome (MMF) with or cheats on me automatically loses girlfriend eligibility. There are only two possible solutions . She can either use her prefrontal cortex and exercise the self-control necessary to stay committed in our relationship. Or we can break up and go our separate ways. Me and her already discussed all this stuff I just said, the only reason i posted this was because I am planning for the possible scenario of us breaking up and so Im just seeking advice on what I should do next if or when that happens. Specifically " How to find a girl who won't cheat on me" in this hypothetical but reasonably possible future scenario, hence the title name. @themoonking I'm not so quick to give up on our relationship , she does indeed want to try new dicks . But she hasn't done that yet. I will give up on the relationship as soon as she does (or decides to ) but I don't see any compelling reason to give up on our relationship prematurely . @FindingPeace Thanks. I guess there is no real bulletproof way to find a faithful girl and I should just be more in the moment and appreciate the limited time I have with someone rather than plan for the future possible scenarios of when I don't have them anymore and where I'm gonna go from there. I think i need to stop talking and fantasizing with her about how many kids were gonna have ,where were gonna travel and live etc. Doesn't seem healthy to set expectations and plan like that to me like that after reading your post.

So I was talking with my girlfriend last night who for awhile I thought was the perfect dream girl for me. We try to be pretty honest with each other , I found it really difficult to tell her the truth when she asked me if she looks better with or without makeup , but I did it anyway. When we first met she was a shy little Japanese virgin who had never even kissed or held a boys hand and basically had no interest in the opposite sex. But last night somehow we got to the topic of theoretical cheating in the future and she said she doesn't know for sure if she can be faithful in the future because every since I took her virginity and started giving her all these amazing sexual experiences she has been feeling freakier and much more sexual than she ever did in her life and she is starting to become curious about what sex with other boys is like. She said she likes variety and experience in all other areas of her life and is curious what other types of sexual experience there are out there to be had. I asked her if she was on her deathbed would she regret only having sex with one guy (me ) her entire life and she said: "yeah I would regret it". Then I asked her would she also regret if she had to marry ,start a family, and spend the rest of her life with some other guy because I left her for another girl since she couldn't stick to a monogamous relationship and she said: "yeah I would regret that too". Anyway my point is that if I can't even get a shy Asian virgin to remain faithful then how can I find a girl who can easily remain faithful and doesn't have a lust for sexual variety and experiences? Or is that not possible and are all girls eventually going to want to satisfy their sexual appetite and binge at an all you can eat cock buffet. Maybe there is nothing wrong with that and I just need to stop trying to find a girl who I can control and confine to a sexual prison cell with just the two of us locked inside. Maybe women just have a natural adventurous urge to experience all that life has to offer, including all the different sexual experiences. Maybe I just need to give up on pursuing monogamous relationships and just have multiple temporary sex partners ( fuck buddies) for the rest of my life. But I will admit I'm basing my assumptions on a small sample size , I have only been in 2 other serious relationships and they both cheated on me also. Maybe I just need to date 20 more Americans and 20 more foreign girls to find one that's not so...... adventurous. Initially, I thought it was because I was dating extroverted, confident , sexual, almost masculine , American girls. So this time I went and found a girl who was the complete opposite of that in hopes she would remain faithful but it seems history is just going to repeat itself again. Only other girls who I think would be worth a shot is a devoted religious girl but I'm an agnostic and very open minded person so I can't seriously imagine myself with someone who has devoted themselves to any kind of dogmatic belief system, therefore, I don't really consider those girls an option. But back to my question, how can I find a girl who won't cheat on me , or should I just give up on that fantasy and commit to a life of polygamy and just avoid all the emotional pain and heartbreaks. Tone is lost through text so I hope my post doesn't come off as emotional , needy , hurt or anything like that , I'm trying to ask this from a place of pure honesty and logic . Any advice on the matter?

Mindfulness/Awareness (which to me is defined as concentration,clarity, and equanimity) is my number one core value, I meditate to live true to that core value and to reap its benefits. I don't function as well as I used to , my meditation practice had a major setback because I became physically dependant on benzos and alcohol for 3 months and went off cold turkey back in October 2015 . The worst of the withdrawals is over now but I am still not at the same level where I was before. I used to hear the roaring silence of the quiet mind in a spontaneous effortless way on a daily basis , that doesn't happen anymore . I basically function as a struggling beginner who has clinical depression, almost always feeling tired or sleepy , strong and oftentimes overwhelming emotions (usually sadness) , mind chatter is almost always very active, if it's not active its very sneaky and seductive , and every time I realise that I have been thinking for the past few minutes and not being mindful I get very agitated , angry, depressed and frustrated . That about sums up my meditation practice at the moment.

Trust me dud if I had the option to become a being of consciousness rather than function as a human identity, "I" (read "nothing" ) would do it in a heartbeat. I have been meditating for a few years and doing self-inquiry for a few months, Its seems to me that my level of awareness simply is not high enough to break free of the illusion of self and recognize my true nature. Unfortunately, I'm stuck in the matrix right now , idk how long and idk if I'll ever get a chance to experience waking up before this human body and brain dies . But in the mean time, I still have to eat, sleep , and work in the matrix.

Thanks so much I'm gonna watch that how you lie video again, I watched some of it once but I didn't really pay attention because I didn't realize it was so important and relevant to this people pleasing problem . Thank you for the clarification on the values and judging vs appreciation also. May you be free from pointless craving ,delusion , and hostility

Idk I'm not sure if it's possible to be reasonably happy and fulfilled if your still unenlightened and living in a state of delusion. Prince was a Jehovah Witness and believed in a religious doctrine which is most likely false and has no reasonable evidence to support its claims. I also doubt he achieved any long term consistent states of self-transcendence ;therefore, his whole life he was living a lie believing he was a separate entity and a perceiver of reality . But if the goal of being self actualized is to live a happy satisfying life than i guess if your dumb and naive enough to believe in your egotistical lie and you have high self-esteem, religious faith (read belief on insufficient evidence ) ,and you have enough money to afford a consistent endless amount of materialistic things to keep you in a high state of excitement and stimulation and minimize the low states of boredom and craving, then maybe you can live a life where your getting high off all that stimulation so much that the low's are minimal or maybe even close to none. If prince did that he could have possibly felt he was content with the amount of highs in life and died with the final thought "I'm happy with my experience of life and I have no regrets" . But personally, I have too much self-honesty , skepticism, and intelligence to be content with such a lie and call that a self-actualized life (for me ) , if I die and I haven't developed a high level of mindfulness and became enlightened, or at least had a few self-transcendence experiences , well then I'm gonna die one regretful mother fucker lol . I still value normal and materialistic things like success , money, living your passion , contribution, love , etc. but my life can't be truly complete if the whole time I never even experienced who and what I truly am .

How can I overcome my addiction to social approval/ validation and my aversion to rejection, humility, embarrassment, criticism, being hated or disliked etc. . Besides affirmations and exposure therapy . I already say " I'm completely uninfluenced by the good or bad opinions of others " every morning for 5 minutes , and I have a customer service retail job where I face this challenge on a weekly basis and get exposure therapy. But in the blueprint series addiction video Leo says you need to replace an addiction , not just try to get rid of it , so what are some of the best alternative options for replacing an addiction to social approval/validation. Also he says in the "How to stop caring what people think of you video" that you have to become grounded in your own values , but how you do that. Is that simply a result of reading your top 10 values every morning for a few months, is that sufficient action to become "grounded" in your values ? And lastly is it counterproductive to admire my personality strengths and my physical strengths , for example if I'm practicing gratitude and I say im grateful that im tall, have sexy lips, and naturally open-minded , is it "bad" to appreciate these character attributes and physical attribute since I have to judge them as good and judging anything as good or bad tends to backfire eventually. A lot of these concepts like ; all judgments are self-sabotaging, but love and accept yourself, be grateful and positive etc. are kind of confusing to me so just hoping for some any advice and clarification . So in a nutshell im asking. 1.) What should I replace social approval/validation addiction with? 2.) What is a specific and actionable way I can become grounded in my values? 3.) If judging anything as good or bad is self-sabotaging , is it bad to show gratitude for my current physical and character traits? Thanks

Im in the same position, I think the most logical thing to do is probably just set aside 30 minutes a day for self-inquiry work and leave it at that. The rest of the day don't worry about enlightenment at all and instead just live normally and do your regular affirmations, mindfulness, positive thinking, visualizations,and all the other self-improvement/life purpose stuff . It's hard to not become obsessed with enlightenment and do all that other stuff because enlightenment feels so important and your so frustrated with your state of unenlightenment and you feel like doing anything that isn't bringing you closer to becoming awakened to the truth of reality is a waste of time lol .