universe

This is a non-issue. When you like to text her, do it. If you dont like to, dont do it. You are trying to come up with the perfect solution because you feel like you are loosing control and you crave that control like an addict craves cocain. But control is an illusion. The same way you are in illusion about her control over your feelings. If she rejects you, ignores you or whatever, that doesnt mean that you are now unaccepted or unworthy. You decided that she can do that. But you could give yourself all the acceptance, worth and love that you ever need in your life and probably more. Its a decision You see the way you come up to her, is from a position of need. Of taking something from her. Decide to give yourself love and communicate from a position of abundance.

Stop acting like a child and take some responsibility. Its your ego, it doesnt like the way reality is. Which is absurd.

Do you want her to be "worried and scared that I may break up with her"? If not then yes, you are communicating something wrong. You can say for example: Ah Im feeling so frustrated about this happening but its no big deal because I love you anyway and I enjoy spending time with you. Lets have a fancy dinner and go dance in the rain. Or whatever you do to express your love to each other

You gave the answer yourself! You can avoid all of this by communicating! Do it!

Being autistic can make flirting a bit difficult. The thing is, dont take everything she says too literally. Its more about emotions. Dont try to use logic - instead use fun and self-amusement. Most of the flirting tipps on the internet are bullshit. I would suggest you just focus on being nice and funny. And most importantly not needy. That means, if she gives short answers and doesnt seem invested in the conversation, you leave. Try again the next time or day, or week. Until you get a serious no. Same with texting, dont send multiple text per day if she doesnt respond. Wait a day or better a week if you can. Just try to kiss her at some point, so it doesnt seem like you are gay or just want to be friends. If you feel nervous about this just go in 80% of the way and let her come the rest of the way if she wants. Well here lies your problem. You hate the cake, but you want the cake. Thats not going to happen. If you cant find a way to enjoy your time flirting its going to be very hard and rough. Instead focus on having fun while doing it. A good way to let conversation flow naturally and have fun while doing it - is not needing anything from her. If you can feel loved and accepted by yourself the conversation will be relaxed and laid back. Instead of running errands on your brain on how to manipulate her to get the most acceptance and love out of her you can bring in some creativity and fun. Let go of your needs by releasing the emotions behind them. As for asking for a relationship - a good rule of thumb is to first get to know her and have sex until you discuss anything serious.

And then what? I mean everywhere else people would tell you to not allow it. You came to this place and ask this question. The thing is, you dont need her. You are already complete how you are. Whatever you do, its right. You cant do wrong! And love is not something limited happening between two people, its everywhere. My advice, go ahead and allow it. Let her try it. And maybe try for yourself. You are taken now, so that means dating will be a lot easier Be open to each other and share your feelings and insecurities (like the one I quoted). Release them and talk about them together and maybe it will be a great way to deepen your relationship. Of course be careful of things like STDs and do paternity testing if you have to.

This. Is there something you are hiding from us or yourself @yellowschnee ? With gay man only trying to be friends with you because of your cuteness I think its like people who want to be friends with you because of your money, status or because you know some famous person. You will notice pretty quickly. And its quite rare. Maybe change the setting you are using for socializing.

Next time after you came just cuddle a bit, use your hands or mouth to maker her feel good. After a while you might be able to get it up again Depending on your mood Id expect something between 5 and 60 minutes.

Sure everyone wants the same man. Was there some event in the past where you got betrayed or so? Because you should be able to see if you like someone or not by yourself. What can help is to not get into anything just because of a fear of being alone or something else thats silly.

And that makes them... what? I mean, do you think capable people deserve more money? We are not talking about jimmy is a good musician and worked hard his entire life, so give him 2 cars. While todd who is a bit dumb only gets to drive 1 car. We are talking about 10.000 vs 0 cars. Also in every country I know higher tax rates only apply to the specific amount over x. So its not like rich people get taxed higher. Its just that jimmy (60k/year) pays 40% on his 20000$/y, while both jimmy and anna (40k/year) pay 35% on their equal income of 20000$ and 30% on their other 20000$ they earn.

I dont indulge in distractions such as the future, only now. Issa joke.

Great insight! I think we all have that to some degree. Sounds also like you are behaving in a needy way. I dont really know what tip to give you. Maybe start to focus on the journey more so than the outcome. Enjoy the time you get to spend regardless of how she responds. And when it doesnt work out, enjoy your extra free time you now have just for you

Wrong, you are the man. You do the chasing. In general. Not saying it isnt possible the other way around. She might as well be insecure and think you dont really want her. As a man you should be comfortable with showing interest without being needy. I want her instead of I need her. Persistence is king. She can always say no, but if you already give up 1 meter after the start line dont expect to finish. If you go out tomorrow and talk to this cute lady, share each others views on the world, form a deep connection and later marry her, get kids and get old together. How is that shallow and a waste of time? You need to set the right motivation and expectation. Look Ive been there done that. If you really think this fear riddled person with tons of limiting beliefs is the authentic you, then fine. Never change.

Maybe you want to be a millionaire but you also want to be comfortable and lazy and watch this new series and read that, do that, meet friends, play this game, eat, drink. See? You are not very focused, so live isnt too much focused on sending the money your way, too.

This Also how can you be conscious and into politics, if politics is a distraction?

Eh dont be harsh on yourself. Most people have it to some degree. It cripples us on our way through life. So go ahead and release it!

I would say you are on the right path. Out of what kind of love does suicide come from?

Gratitude and Love. You can start with taking some kind of life lesson from it but ultimately you want to stop giving it any thoughts.

I would call all the above the self or ego. Its just different stages of needyness/neurotic behaviour. So for your question if you should actively manipulate her I would advise against. Right now it seems like you have two of the three most common needs for men in dating, the need for validation and especially for control. We want everything to be perfect, so that we can predict the situation and be in control of it. I would advice you to release this need for control. That means you have to feel it very deeply and affirmative until it goes away on its own. You might need to envision a scene in your head where you totally loose control over the situation/relationship to lure the need out. Thats when you pack it and take it deep into your heart. Screaming at it: More,more more give me more! You get what Im trying to say.

Thank you very much for this thread. Very interesting read! 8. Experiences from the waking world get transfered to the dream world. For example when someone tickles you while sleeping you might dream that an evil monster is tickling you. Or if you need to pee in waking world while asleep, you also need to pee in your dream.

You avoid that trap by not buying things you cant afford. Be conscious of your income and needed expenses.

People come to you and ask you questions and then they blame you for answering them. Are you serious? Maybe its the way you say things. Dont be a know-it-all. Be more humble. Maybe.

I used to play. Now I cant get invested in them anymore. See if you really love playing games or if its just a habit because you have no other meaning in life.

Why do you think about your future, stop endulging in fantasies that will never happen and focus on being happy in the all encompassing now. Nothing can be added, nothing is needed now. Your are dating her a few times and joked around, cool. Why are you making a big deal out of it. How can she know she wants kids with you if she isnt even decided on being with you? If you want to know if she wants to have kids ask her seriously and dont joke about it. And if she says no and is young. Dont worry so much. Biology and society will do their magic and she probably will want some kids later on. Caring about someone else rather than oneself is very liberating. Most people like it very much. If not, they havent tried yet. It means to detach first from your need to have the world any other way than it is. When you are detached you dont think about if you do this or that. You just do it without any attachment to the outcome. Aka you dont care. I dont understand what you mean with self, authentic self and no-self.