universe

You said that both jobs are not your purpose. Then you could decide on the one that has a higher payout or makes you more fulfilled and happy while saving up. I think as a programmer you have a chance of making way more money than at the post office. But as you have no work experience in that field it might take some time to land a job there. You could do both. Maybe work as a freelance programmer from home 10h/week and then 40h/week(?) at the post office. You could also try to talk to the post office to get your hours cut and work more on the software development side. If I was you Id look into ways to turn a profit on the consciousness retreat. So that I could concentrate on that 100%. But I can understand why you dont want to do that.

Very good that you realize all this fear and judgement when it comes up! This is already half the way. Try to get more clear on that. What was the traumatic event in the past and what did you already try to heal yourself from it? You dont need to answer here, just you have to be more specific about it yourself. When you have it, watch this video. He explains how to release the specific emotions that are stuck inside your body. Do the technique he explains over the next weeks. Over and over again. Go deeper anytime. You can do sessions of 1-2 hours a time if you get very good.

Cut them out of your life. Or you can do this advanced technique. Exploitation instead of judgement

You can build connection with people by talking about intimate topics. Here are two easy examples. "What has moved you recently?" and "What inspired you to do (something they do)?" Not difficult. The intention and vibe behind it is key. Also I found that having a strong connection to yourself helps. Then there is the topic of mastering emotions by feeling the loneliness in your body, not trying to control it. And being less judgemental about yourself/others. All this aside for a second, there is no point in spending your energy and time on vampires. Find better friends. People who make you laugh and whos company you enjoy. Trust your intuition. If you need help finding friends there are plenty of tips on the internet and here on the forum. Find meetup groups on topics you are interested in or just talk up random people wherever you are. What I also found is that private conversations (1v1) are better suited for deeper connection than being in larger groups.

Powerful edit! Where is the animation at 0:54 from?

That has literally nothing to do with male sexuality and all with being unconscious. Its a human trait. Not a male trait. Lyubov, its time to not give a fuck about whatever other people think of you and the way you want to live your life. If you want more intimacy in your life you dont need a LTR. You can open up to the store owner on the other side of the street. There are million ways to feel, share and spread love and intimacy. You are perfect the way you are, you are already love.

How long do you want to do this. Did you just decide now? The most important step is going to be to change your limiting beliefs around your business. Then it depends on the skill you need for your work. If you already got the skill (maybe because you worked in that field) you should look into marketing. Of course you need to know if its even a viable business idea. Maybe we can help you or you test it yourself. If you already have a financial safety net Id recommend you go all in on your business! For ressources I recommend this guy https://www.youtube.com/user/samovenstv he will take you by the hand and show you where you can optimize if you start to slack and what inner work you can do, to maximize your success. You dont need to do everything he says, hes a nerd lol. And listen to interviews with people who did the thing you want to do (i.e. your field of business your in).

Im the same. You can feel it without the art being present. Just make room for it and be mindful of the will to share it with others. You will do it, Im sure! And its beautiful

You are stuck in your life right now because you are attached to it. Let go of procrastination, let go of becoming rich, let go of comparing yourself with others, let go of your beliefs. And ultimately, let go of your depression and what makes you depressed. Thats what I would focus on now. Dont try to add more stuff, instead try to let it all go. Say good bye to it, lovingly. And fully embrace what is coming next.

@Serotoninluv love your post! Depends on what you mean with self-actualizing journey! Its highly individual. Joy to me is pretty meaningless*. Find out what your values are and what you goals are. Then you can see how well you perform. Growth for me has 3 steps 1. Wanting something silly (sex, friends/fame, money) 2. Realizing that you dont need it. Doing inner work, changing your self, letting go of old beliefs. 3. Being. Working on your vision. Expressing love. Good video on growth Some inspiration for defining your goals *Feeling joyful during your day could be an indicator for emotional mastery. A step up after joy is the category of emotions called "peace". Examples are feeling aware, calm, tranquil, complete, centered, and free.

You want the company to have a clear mission statement and philosophy. Communicating this mission also while hiring to find people who will fit. Then no one should make public statements without prior checking it with PR department. The situation you are in is because the company didnt do this good enough in the first place. So now it needs fixing. But thats not a problem. Things like this happen all the time. Your problem is that you fear of loosing value in the eyes of your employer. The solution is to become aware of the value and worth you already have. Be loving to yourself. The more grounded in this you become, the less you care about if your boss thinks your doing good or bad. You might still want to do a good job or spend more time with people who appreciate you more. But it wont really bother you.

Well what do you watch? If you binge on actualized videos thats at least binge time spend on something that could help you. I found the best way to counteract this is by simply having more interesting stuff to do. So maybe the problem will solve itself when you found your job. Or you could start a new habit, a new hobby.

It was only a dream. Relax Lucid dream to me means something else. It means you are aware of your dream and could for example have teleported the girl out of your room. What you had I would maybe describe as a vivid dream! Also I dont interpret dreams so much. They just are. You could find meaning in a coffee cup if you try hard enough. Are those dreams bothering you and you are asking how to get rid of them?

You can release all your triggers via the sedona method. Let go of it, to get the power back. Start small. See this video for example.

Here is an interesting study https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26899133/ Drinking coffee 9h before bedtime does have a negative effect on your sleep. There are a lot of studies that show the positives in coffee which I think boil down to that it makes you more productive = doing something = feeling better. And some other health benefits e.g. from antioxidants.

Alcohol is definitely bad for your health. But so are: breathing in polluted air and being exposed to background radiation. You have to see if the benefits outweight the negatives for yourself.

Of course it could be an underlying issue. But I think most likely its just that you are not used to it. After cardio your blood oxygen levels go down. If possible meassure them and your heart rate. Also drink lots of water and eat healthy.

Yes, its in "The Power of Now". Great book! I highly recommend it! @TheUniverseIsLove be loving to your body during these days. I cant give specific advice but Im sure you can master your skills to a level where it becomes less of an issue. Maybe even a welcome challange. Prepare yourself and practise, practise, practise. And accept and let go of it.

The two books you read are good and should give you enough information if you read them carefully. Where are you at right now? What are you looking for exactly?

No no, all good. So you said you "experienced them". When did you experience them? And when do they exist?

Not enough. Did you watch a james bond movie? If yes, does james bond exist? When you think about a 3 headed elephant. Does the elephant exist? Did you dream about a city in the sky? If yes, does it exist? I assume you had at least one trip on LSD, did you got any visuals? If yes, do these things you saw on LSD exist? How do you define what is real and what is not?

Do you have 5k already? If yes, then why not make another 5k until august? Then you can buy a 10k pc and play with the big bois

How do you know your mother even really exists?

Yes psychedelics are very good to deal with fear. When you see the TRUTH you realize there is nothing to fear. Only love and acceptance

Learn about how woman see the world. There are fundamental differences. If you dont understand them you will run into these problems again and again.