universe

As someone who never had a problem with weight, the best way to go about it is to first not have a problem with it. May sound counterintuitive but what you focus on will expand. So if you constantly think about how to loose weight and control your hunger - this whole food thing will take up more and more space in your life. Just do something else instead. Don't fret over gaining or loosing weight. Then if you experience cravings either wait until its meal time (endure the cravings) or if you don't want to endure them have healthy snacks nearby. Maybe rice waffles to make you feel full. Also what you could do is to just skip breakfast. In the morning we usually are not too hungry. Check if that works for you.

Courage is an emotion. Or better an emotional state. Same as apathy, anger, pride, fear etc. You can value it but as all emotional states it will come and go. If you want to feel more courage you can let go of the other emotions and focus on courage. This video explains it in more detail.

If you don't trust them you should probably not sleep with them. Also use condoms.

You are making a big thing out of it. Which is understandable in your situation but won't help you and probably make you more stressed as you need to be. Ask yourself: What are you afraid of? Spend more time with the girl. More time getting comfortable with each other. Long foreplay. So that you can relax more. Also doing the exercise in this video might be helpful.

To maybe answer this for yourself

I also struggle with feeling worthy sometimes. The trick is that there is no such thing as being worthy or unworthy. Just do whatever you want to do, talk to a girl or enter into a relationship and don't give a fuck about whether you are worthy or not. Stop caring about it and see how it goes. I will report back.

There is a difference between wanting and needing something. Wanting something or not wanting something is how you make decisions in your life. In terms of dating you maybe want to get to know or you want to spend time with someone. These are your preferences and they form your character. If you have a healthy self-esteem you go for what you want. It can be interesting and fun to explore what you or what others want. Needing something is different in that a need makes you feel that your life depends on getting what you need. You may not think you will die when you don't get what you need but it can feel like it. There is a strong fear involved in it. Like somehow you will be less without it. If you don't get your needs met you suffer. That is why you will go to great lengths to get your needs met. And you are prone to make unhealthy decisions along the way because you become desperate trying to fill your needs. When your need is very strong you can say it's like an addiction. You are afraid to not get what you think you need. For dating as well as for the self-actualization path it's extremely beneficial (almost inevitable) to first acknowledge your needs and then work on them. You will accumulate many thousands of different needs as you grow older. Most of them can be broken down into a few basic needs. According to the Sedona Method there are 5 basic human needs (I find this list super helpful): Need for approval/validation Need for security Need for control Need for seperation Need for oneness Whether you notice it or not. These needs will shape your behaviour in some way or another. What will happen is that these needs start to creep into all different aspects of your life. Some may where you would never expect them. And they are fluid. Say for example you think you need this woman/man in your life. Maybe behind that need is the need for security. But it can also likely be the case that there are several needs behind that specific need. The first important step is to understand you are acting from a place of need. Consider the classic example of the "nice guy" who tries to make it right for everyone and completely dismisses his own desires or feelings. At the core of this behaviour is a need for validation. He is so afraid that people won't like him that he does everything to make them happy. The big crux now is that people will intuitively notice whenever you need validation from them. And because you act out of fear for being rejected or disliked you cannot really be authentic. This will drive people away from you and actually make them dislike you. The only people that stay are those that are desperately needing validation themselves, so that they don't care wether you are authentic or not. But these people also don't like you because they only care to get their needs met. Of course this is a bit of a simplification, as I said these needs are fluid and there are many different factors at play here. But overall, talking and getting to know more and more people will not help you unless you identify the need behind your behaviour and work on that. That is the reason why we get stuck and end up in the same situations which seem to repeat themselves over and over again. In the end you have to realize that nothing in this world can bring you what you need. You will never get the validation or security that you need and you are never in control. If you chase any of these needs in the outside they will only grow more and more. It's a bottomless pit. It never ends. Instead, feel the needs within you and let them go. One by one. Break out of the vicious circle and just be. That's how you can transcend them. You can really just be. Instead of fearing about having your needs met, enjoy the abundance that is already within you. ❤️

Any milestones in your journey that stand out? You said you recently went on a 60 day meditation retreat and had to remember the old person you used to be. What are the core things that you had to remember or relearn, if there are some?

This. The book goes into a bit more detail but even that is not necessarily needed. Start with these questions. And feel into your body. That is basically it. You don't need the courses. What the courses or an experienced releasing coach can help with is tackling the emotion from different sides. Because one emotion or trigger has usually many facets that you can feel into. But you can get to those yourself with deep introspection and you usually get the most significant benefits from releasing the big obvious stuff.

True. Also, it's "per se" @Sandeep Reddy Can you go 1-2 weeks without masturbation when you are for example away on holidays? Because I guess it's not an addiction but more something along the lines of "not having anything else to do". As you said yourself. Find something that you like doing, maybe a hobby or even better, a life purpose, and see how your whole life will change.

No it's not only luck. If you decide to stay in your house all the time, would this lower your chance of finding a partner? You gotta be a little bit proactive. Do you know girls who after they had a break up, will jump directly into a new relationship? This is not luck. Not all but many of these girls really think they need a relationship. So they will find one asap. Now, if that is a healthy way to go about is another question. Yes, going to the right places is a good start. I'd suggest you join a club or community of your interests. That way you will meet people who you already have something in common with. Or you could try getting serious with online dating. Then it's just a matter of time and compatibility. If you are really open about finding someone and willing to go through the motions (meeting people, going on dates, getting to know them, opening up to them) you will likely get "lucky" one day. ❤️

Two possible ways (1) She has crazy emotional problems, they might have been there before and grew when she was a prostitute. I would react by looking inside how I attracted such a person in my life. Also I would be suprised that I did not realize this even before she would tell me. The first month into the relationship there would normally be signs left and right that something is up. I would question my ability to read those signs. (2) She doesn't have crazy emotional problems. Maybe she did emotional work or wasn't affected in the first place. I would see why she didn't tell me earlier. Is she a liar? Does she think it is not a big thing? Doesn't she trust me? Maybe she still feels ashamed and there is some work to do. If If I would have a problem with her past I would look inside and see why that is. ❤️

Of course you can, attraction is not a choice. You already kissed so she probably likes you But if you want to push things further you have to accept that you might not see her again.

I'm closing this thread because you can find all the answers here.

Little things can go a long way. Like maybe offer your time on a specific day of the week, not right now. When they call, tell them you only have a few minutes because you are busy. And then when they try to push you to talk longer, stick to what you said. The key is to notice when the conversation is going in a way that you don't enjoy. And then friendly but firmly end the conversation. I notice that woman oftentimes are bad at this. They will continue to talk, even when they don't want to, just to be nice. Listen to your heart. Do what is right for you. You will see that when you feel good, the other person also feels good and your conversations will be much more satisfying. It may be counterintuitive but you are doing the other person a favour when you hang up on them and do what you enjoy. And they will like you for being authentic. I was mainly talking about friendships. But this also applies to relationships. You can ask about their previous relationships and see if you find hints of infidelity there. Otherwise it's innocent before proven guilty. Trust them to be faithful until you find something that indicates otherwise.

Don't be their emotional trash can. Some people will treat you like shit if you let them. Enjoy time with people that make you happy. Who give already at the beginning, without needing you to help them first. Not vampires that only take take take. Boundaries. If you don't respect your time and energy why do you expect others to respect them?

You get turned on by your mind. So even for guys it's not just: titties > erection. Maybe you weren't turned on enough? And condoms can be annoying. Because they put you out of your sexy thoughts into practical technical precision thoughts. It's also essential that you find the right size. That's why @Spiral asked you if you already used them. But even if they worked a few times it could still be a wrong size.

That is pretty common. We don't enjoy fruits we didn't earn or invested in. Like if somebody handed you a trophy for being alive, you wouldn't enjoy it as much as a olympic gold medal that you worked you whole life for. Sex is not a trophy though. You overthink things too much. Just enjoy the process, there is nothing else to do. If online dating isn't for you, that's ok. Not everyone likes it, I would even say most people don't enjoy it. Sex, drugs, money. Those are not bad per se. But be mindful of how they work in distracting you.

It's important that you understand that you did nothing wrong. It could have happened to anybody, you, me, Buddha, God. Why do you feel disgusted? Why do you think you messed up? You did everything right.

The golden way is to stay loving towards them. Not getting dragged down by their comments. This is hard an requires a lot of strength. The practical way is to remove them from your life for now. If it is family, stop seeing them. Maybe only on christmas if you want. If you still live at home, move out.

Sure, you can tell her and it will be no big deal. As long as you don't make a big deal out of it. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Accept it as a part of your life that made you the way you are today. If you want to find love you must first love yourself. ❤️

You need a certain level of confidence in order to make experiences. Example: A baby learning to walk. If it has 0 confidence that it will be able to walk it will never try to do it. But if it has enough confidence in tackling this issue of acquiring the refined skill to walk, it will try, fall down and stand up many times until it can walk. So now it depends on how much you trust yourself with learning something. The baby from the example never needs to fake confidence because it already has enough confidence to try. If you are blocked and never try, faking confidence can help you get started. Don't get lost in details and questioning what is the right method. Just start with whatever feels right for you and figure it out from there. What is helpful to you might not be helpful for others and vice versa.

And when you are old you will get your pension and then you can start to live your life! Never sell the present for the future. While it is true that your life will improve over time when you do the right work, you can always be fulfilled and happy by the actions you take right now. Starting this thread was the first step to this, you are on the right track! While I see that this can be exhausting, don't give your power away to people so easily. I'd recommend you to do the Sedona Method to release what you find obnoxious about these people. Accepting the obnoxiousness in others will make it easier for you to deal with them. Again, apply the same method from above to these situations. When you can accept that you'r not able to study as much with your current job, you can grind the programming course while not being scared or beating yourself up over some slacking in that area. Release on the need for control. That will help you with your stress level and in turn give you more power to study. You can even release the feelings of physical exhaustion and tiredness. Another thing I'd recommend is changing the perspective, the story. Basically positive thinking. You do not only to this job to sustain yourself while you study to get out of it. You also do it to get stronger, build muscles, gain knowledge of food products and pricing and to learn what are your strength and weaknesses, what aspects of this job you like and which you don't like. See if this might be a limiting belief. Maybe you can find something else, even during corona. Yes, you can fall in love with the present moment. You can fall in love with yourself. Fall in love with the kind of work you envision yourself to do. ❤️

It is the same. You have to think about the ego in a more broader way, otherwise you won't notice it when it is in a dark spot. At the same time there is no you and there is no ego. Without ego, the survival of your human form is in danger. That is why you won't see any spiritual teachers who are 100% all the time without ego. At least I've never seen them. Getting rid of the ego is not the goal here. The goal is to free yourself from attachments and needs. The ego will always tell you that there is never enough. But in reality you are always enough. From this place of abundance you can start the journey of manipulating reality to give you food, money, sex you name it. But you do so playfully, knowing that if you loose your money you don't need to kill yourself over some wild attachments that you got. You can just go on and do your thing in a more healthy way.

Quite dominant is she? Maybe she has been trying to live up to the very high standards that people around her ingrained in her and that is why she always sees inadequacy wherever she looks. I'd recommend her the Sedona Method to get on track to release her need for perfection. In the meantime you could release your own triggers and needs for validation. For example when you fully accept that your socks have holes in them and everything this might implies. And you are fine without getting validation from her. Her criticizing your socks will just go through you - without eliciting an emotional turmoil inside of you. That aside. If you don't enjoy her company, let her go. It is very unlikely that she will change.