universe

Oh my god these videos, jesus... Im dying Great examples!

@caelanb If you want to go that route then yeah do the association exercises. I would only recommend watching something light-hearted before you socialize to acclimate. Like in that CoC video. If you have enough time and want it badly enough you can also practice some storytelling and stuff like that. Have a funny answer to the most common questions "Where are you from" "What do you do for work" etc. You don't need to use them but you then have the option and it will set the mood for the whole conversation. The thing though, you are kinda trying to learn to swim by doing exercises and reading books. In my experience it doesn't work that way. @Nahm Yep, the truth is funny

You imply being patient while waiting for Love is a virtue?

A pretty easy thing to do is watch some comedy. Get yourself in the right mood! Then when you talk to people think about ways to make the situation more fun. Fail and learn from there.

It's direct and blunt survival and natural selection. Just the whole survival of the human race hinges upon it.

No, you don't need to feel guilt for that. Wanting good things in your life is perfectly normal. But there are a few ways to deal with your situation that could lead to growth. It could be interesting to explore why you want these thing. Is there a part of you that thinks it needs those things. Maybe a seeking for approval or security? Maybe some advertisement got to you, if yes it would be wise to question your beliefs. Or, you could feel deeply into that guilt that you are feeling. Feel it fully. Maybe it has a message for you. Only you can find out. Here is an Exercise, you can start at Step 2.

Have you watched Leo's video on YouTube about this topic?

Choice.

You are right. No outside source is needed. You where born with the innate ability to handle life. Tho at times it can be helpful to reach out and have someone point you in the right direction. Maybe it's comforting for you to know that there is no difference between inside and outside.

You want to ground yourself in Truth. That is how you become Spider-Man.

I'm sensing people pleaser vibes. If that is you, please look into it. People pleasing is damaging to both parties. Have you considered setting your boundaries? Be vigilant about them. Do everything you can to make her respect your boundaries (except physically hurting her). A crucial learning point is becoming comfortable with tension. See what happens. Maybe she will move out because she can't stand you, or you get kicked out. Or maybe you both can develop a wonderful and deep friendship. Where you are both authentic and learned something. Or you could just move out now, nothing wrong with that.

Facebook is a reflection of society. If we would collectively spend billions of $ on facebook to promote peace, love & healthy role models it would do exactly that. The video is itself part of the problem by spreading fear to an extent.

Anything that happens is exactly as you wanted it to happen, is happening and will be happening. So it's up to you. Do you want to feel regret?

You are trying to understand the dating paradigm within the male perspective. Which is why it won't work. The male mind is wired to solve those "problems" you describe. So when approaching, leading, planning and making sex happen as you say. Those are all tasks the male mind is destined to do. Build for that. As men we rise to those challanges and get excited about them. Or get lost... whatever. From a womans perspective this all doesn't even come to her mind. Her brain is not wired for that, instead it is wired to be very good at other stuff. Where she can rise to a challange and get excited about. But that stuff won't make sense to you and your male brain. So don't worry about it. If you want to understand women better you can start by watching this video and do the exercise towards the end. You can also take a look inside the brain of women by reading/watching dating advise that's catered to women. Disclaimer: These are all generalised statements. Some women can be more masculine and some men can be more feminine of course. And because we mostly live in a society that favours male brain wiredness, many women can understand men better than the other way around. Because they learned it from society.

It's fixed now.

@ValiantSalvatore Do you mean sth like sadness, sorrow, hate, anger? Yes, you want to go with all Emotions that come up. Give her a rollercoaster of Emotions. The whole range. But I'd say focus more on the positive ones. In the end positive or negative Emotions do not exist. It is just how we label them. A good book I like about Emotions is the Sedona Method. It's not about dating but will give you some powerful tools to explore and learn from your Emotions.

Do you already have clients? Do you have proof that your idea works and did some market research? If yes then I'd say go for it! Spending the 8k alone will get you hyper-motivated. And if the coach is worth his money and you work good together you can save a lot of time.

@ValiantSalvatore In your example your seem to be kind of reactive and compulsive. Try to relax, take some deep breaths and feel into your body. Maybe I worded it a bit wrong. Don't just talk about emotional things. Also be emotional with her. So when she says she likes Japan try to understand what she feels about it. And why. If she feels joyful, feel into that joyfulness. With her! And then you don't have to talk about other Japanese culture. You can say like "Oh I really enjoyed staying in South Korea, it was an amazing experience!" talk about it, or see if she asks you any questions and then switch the topic again. The point is that it is not about the information being exchanged, you can save that for work. When you are on a date it's about feeling, intentions, tension and having fun. Don't be afraid to not talk for a while. She can also keep the conversation up. Then quickly change the subject again. Like I said, it is not about the subject. It should all be very non serious but also not a comedy show. A good way to get more emotional is to ask her what was the last time she was moved/really excited/frightened/grateful whatever strong emotion you can think about.

A need to be exceptional is connected to the need for control. I'd suggest you learn Emotional Mastery. Especially integrating your emotions via the sedona method. You will learn techniques to release your needs. And you will see that you can still become a pro athlete, in fact you will find that it becomes even easier for you to pursue and accomplish your goals.

Seems like you got the first part down. Laughing and having fun is a good energy on a first date. Seems like you build a kinda wall to not get hurt. This will of course seem cold to other people, like they can't get to the real you. Maybe you experienced that yourself when you ask someone a question and they only give funny answers or don't really answer or tell anything about themselves. Find some similarities, talk about some activities you like and in general her and your emotions. Doesn't have to be extremely emotional or deep. For the first date that is usually not needed but could be fun if you both enjoy that kind of intimacy.

If this is really what you want to do in your life then I'd suggest you learn sales. It's a skill that can be teached and learned. Some quick tips. Get to know your customer as best as possible. You job is to help them to make a decision. Either yes or no. Doesn't matter. Of course if it is a no you write down why and think about if you did a good job explaining that part to them so that they clearly understood the benefit your product/service brings them.

Of course it is a big fucking bias.

I think if men want to change the way the dating market works, anyone who suggests this should start by having a romantical relationship with an older and unattractive woman. There are many lonely obese, bitter or unsocial woman out there. Start with the ones with some mental or health problems, too. Then begin a family and your kids can be the first in line for a regulated dating market. After all, if that is your vision, you should be willing to take the first step? For anyone else I recommend this read.

Could be because you are unconsciously wired towards failure. You don't allow yourself to succeed. That is sometimes because we feel secure with how life is going right now and being "successful" might change that. People could react differently to us, expectations could change. Maybe you fear that you are unwilling to feel the sensations of growth and change. Or you are attached to the feeling of lack and failure because you are so invested in that identity that you feel that you'd be betraying that part of you. And, it would also mean admitting that that part of your life was such a waste and you hate being wasteful etc. Study how to accept anything you are unconsciously wired to. Then visualize what you want next.

Don't overthink it too much. Do what @Roy said. But it is also important that you don't hide your intent/sexuality. Be a little proactive, like Roy in his example. Hundreds of books have been written on this topic but you only need to know very little. Research what "flirting" means and describe what you learned here in one or two sentences.