universe

Self-Love Letting Go Acceptance Also see my thread Integrating Emotions.

Now where they drunk or sober? Can't be both. Sleeping next to a guy or going in the bathroom with a guy are not signs for "I want to sleep for you" but they are also not a sign for "I do not want to sleep with you". If you ever find yourself in the same situation make your intentions very clear. As for how to tell if a man has done it before I am not sure. If it is your boyfriend you are worried about I would just ask him.

It's not black and white. These are cultural norms that vary by country. And as @Chew211 said also on other factors. In general, paying can give a small hint that someone can provide for the other. Which is a quality women seek in men more than the other way around. On the other side you don't want to come off as if you need to buy her "time" because you got nothing else going for you. So balance it out.

That seems a little broad for me. And as such it could be an overwhelming task. When you narrow it down, like which part of humanity can you reach best and what is it you want them to actualize first, the task can become easier. There are many areas we can achieve Growth in order to self-actualize, is there an area you want to focus on? When you have a narrower picture of your LP you will experience small wins down the road. Which will help you keep track and achieve your bigger vision.

What is your life purpose?

That's totally normal. Question your mindset, is it really hard to find a new partner? Cast some doubt on your beliefs. "I have low confidence and am not sure if I can still do it", is that really true? I would be very sceptical about it. Also might be a good time for these videos Also ask yourself what are the benefits for thinking like this? Maybe if you allow yourself to think this way and don't date, you wont have to deal with approaching women and getting rejected? And of course welcome your emotions. Let them run through your body. Allow them to be. ❤️

@Thought Art Well he didn't say he has a student loan. And I don't know who wrote that article but the study they are quoting puts Halifax at #17 of most expensive rents in Canada. In fact it was one the few places that saw rents go down a bit. Of course living expenses are getting high right now. But being debt free, no kids, willing to move and willing to share your appartment you are good. Just going on what information we have in this thread.

I doubt that. My motive isn't to guilt, it is to empower. But I see how it could be interpreted the other way.

Godspeed bro, you are rocking it with that challange! She probably felt insecure herself. You can help her relax and open up. But even if you do that some people just don't vibe. 1. Talk about what you love/hate, happy moments, vacation, dreams, the things around you. Stay away from politics, religion, stuff that will bring you/her down and anything too rational. 2. Body language, touch, kiss etc. 3. You eliminate the mindset that there is even the possibilty that you could say the wrong thing. Instead you see/evaluate if you like her. And if for some reason you still say something wrong, you laugh about it. 4. Is that really true? Did you ever had a conversation in your life that wasn't draining? 5. Then go, get up and leave. Have some self respect. Smile, listen to something funny. Watch something comedic. Work on these things 1. Embodiment. When you are talking with someone (doesn't matter if it's a date or not) explore your body. Notice. Feel your feet, legs, ass, dick, belly, chest, arms, fingers. Notice where you are feeling. Come out of your head into your body. Relax and stay with the person you are talking to. It's a bit like meditation, you can meditate on all of this as well at home for practice. When the other person talks try to be there with them. The other person will notice. You will fail and that is ok. Just come back to your body again, and again. 2. Emotional Mastery. Dating will put you on rollercoaster of emotions. You are already on it. It's better to go with it instead of fighting against it. Let your emotions run freely through you. Accept them, welcome them, maybe even learn to love them. Let them be. If you go like "Uh, this girl doesn't like/love me, that makes me so sad. I don't like being sad, go away sadness!". The feeling won't listen. Instead it will come back even stronger. Hitting you full head on like "Here! Here! I am sadness, I am here! Look!". Not good. Let it become your friend and it will come and go easily. ❤️

What do you mean with struggle? You either support yourself or you don't. I expect a certain drive to work on and better yourself from people on this forum so that automatically puts you out of the group of "many others". Yes. Some people may struggle with looking for jobs, going to interviews and then later to go to their job for 8-9h/day. Then they might struggle with not spending all their money on unnecessary things. But these are all basics that are easy to learn and have a very small learning curve. Compared to being a sage.

Are you happy in your relationship? If not maybe it's time to end it and just be friends. To go one step deeper. People will often treat us how we treat ourselves. So if you want to change something that is a place to look into as well.

As a 29 year old you should not have any trouble supporting yourself. Either commit 100% to your LP or get a job and do it on the side, both could work. Do you really want to change is the question.

No it's not. Just as much as the desire to stay in a closed relationship isn't as well. There is a difference between wanting to sleep around and needing to sleep around. Or wanting to stay together with a person and needing to stay together for that matter. Behind your desire to be single is there also fear about being in a commited relationship?

What you want is Emotional Mastery. Having said that, fluctutating states are normal. Everyone can be great with an optimal state, it's how good you can stick with it even in a bad mood that's key. But don't be too hard on yourself. It's possible the girl you are talking to is just not a good match.

If you want to actualize yourself get out and get your dream partner. Everything else is overanalizing. The emotional heartbreaks (if you encounter them) are not to be avoided but to be felt through. When do you think you will achieve Growth? By sitting in your room armchair philosophying about dating or by going through all the ups and downs of life. Experiencing deep connection, sadness, loss, joy and terrible heartbreak? This is a very foundational concept Leo explains in this video.

I think it would be helpful to first define what you mean by love.

I don't know in which world you live in. I haven't experienced what you describe happening to our society. Men don't hurt women in relationships. Women are not victims. There are collective issues that we work through together in society (like slavery, equal rights and abusive relationships) but they get passed down from our parents not from the opposite sex.

You gotta learn what girls are really attracted to. It's a game. Spirituality might help you in some aspects with game but you still have to go through the motions and start playing.

Illusion. Believing that you lack Love, that there is not unlimited Love and lack of Self-Love. Being closed off from love and acceptance from others. Maybe not seeking out for it because of fear of rejection. Believing stories about yourself that you are not "worth". ❤️

You could be having commitment phobia. It's quite common. It comes from a difficult relationship with your parents. Where you parents either gave you too much love (too much protection, not allowing you to explore the world on your own) or too little love (not enough acceptance and love that a child needs). Now because of this difficult relationship with your parents you think all relationships are like that. Because you think the burden of making a relationship work is entirely on your side you feel like you are not good enough or scared that you have to give up too much freedom. It might makes sense to hire a psychologist to work with you through that. In general what you will need to do is to learn Emotional Mastery (thus releasing your needs for acceptance/love, oneness and seperateness) and to practice Self-Love (giving yourself everything you want to have from others). //Notice your girlfriend very likely has commitment phobia as well but is the passive part of it.

After she brought up the topic of porn and giving you the pitch for her profile all sex talk is fine. But why do that exactly after she told you, you are not her type. The timing is a bit off.

Do whatever feels right to you. Dating can be distracting but having a date or two per week doesn't hurt you. I would focus on making music and in the times where I need to replenish my energy, I would mix in some dating. ❤️

Hm.. do you like being around your girlfriend, do you love her? It's very hard to give advice without knowing you two. Maybe you are not comfortable with tension. And you want to make everone feel good and like you all the time. This is what prevents you from setting proper boundaries and is a typical nice guy syndrome. I would also encourage you to learn Emotional Mastery. It is a long term process but it has been worth it a thousandfold for me. Watch all of Leo's Video on Emotions and if you are not sure where to start read this post about Integrating Emotions.

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