Yukise99

I come back to your post and I see that you've sold your ps4, I think it's a good idea if you don't want to be distracted. Right now Overwatch just came out and I'm trying to find a balance between life-purpose work and playing games.

Yeah mastery of the English language can help out a lot in your business. Neither of us want to lose a client over something spellcheck could have fixed. How are you coming to terms with your business? Any new plans or realization or things you need to work on?

"Now, I really here wanna get you back in touch with you're existential being of you're true nature. This is through contemplation, meditation, stratagies, mindsets to make you're life truly satisfying!" you're --> your stratagies --> strategies These will help with being credible.

6:49PM I'm going to take the advice of Mastering 5 things and getting really good at it and one secret skill, instead of being okay or decent at a lot of things. Let's try this approach. 1. Master Illustration Skills 2. Master video editing skills 3. Master Graphic Design 4. Master Business Skills 5. 3% man skill -> aka Master Communication skills. There's no backing off now. Make sure everything in your life revolves around these five points. Slowly but surely, it will be done with the help of God.

You could try what I'm doing right now and learn how to make websites towards whatever endeavor you are pursuing. That takes a bit of time if you want to learn wordpress and how much you want to customize the sites and how it's going to look like.

5/26/16 It seems like everyone has moved on with their life, while mine is just starting to begin again. I don't know how many times I've restarted my life, but no one's counting anyways. Let's just keep living life, and enjoy it day by day by moving towards my goals and dreams. Everything is going to be alright. I believe it.

What actually helped me get over the fear of loneliness when pursuing my life purpose was actually losing pretty much most of my friends. Sometimes these things just happens, and you need to move on with what you think is best with your life and mope a bit about the lost friends.

5/10/16 2:59PM Let's keep it up, slowly, day by day.

How did you take your art level to an insane level? I'm currently pursuing a career in the professional art field as well but I'm too much of a newbie and a lack of skills doesn't help either. Any chance you'll post that website that has the link to how to make money online?

5/6/2016 10:40PM It's okay to be happy you know? No need to be serious all the time. Today I moved forward by showing up for a job interview. It's a decent gig at a place moving boxes, I'm hoping to eventually move to their art department once my skills are in order. At times it feels overwhelming but I realized that if I take it one day at a time, then everything will go well. I can feel inside me that an adventure is brewing up but I just don't know what it is yet. Some great opportunity will come up in the near future, but it is up to me to push myself to that level. Right now let's get an assessment check Things to do: School: 1. Get paperwork for art class / 2. Find registration time / 3. Find artists assignment Professional work: 1. Find passport and show up on Monday for part time job. Scholarships: 5 scholarships, the latest one being due on Monday. Art: Remember to draw as well! Exercise: Keep going to the gym everyday and you will be good. Things to improve: Slowly focus on taking one task at a time. Things are stabilizing now so you should have a pretty good idea of how things will go from now on. Perhaps try getting your feet wet in a business venture? p.s: Try and try again, living is just like a muscle. It can get stronger the more you exercise it. Just keep that in mind and you will be fine.

It's quite amazing how much life has given us all, and me especially! I have wondered why these unexplained coincidences have been showing up now and not earlier. But like Prince EA says "not all flowers bloom at the same time". And wow I have seen this at work today. One of my dreams was to attend a tuition-free college and lo and behold; my dream was granted! http://www.theweu.com/learn/mod/page/view.php?id=15 I would like to humbly express my gratitude and love towards your cause. You have done greatly and you all should be proud of your endeavors to provide free and accessible education towards this world. I suppose others have different purposes in their life, and mine is no different. While one of my friend's department is environmental conservation, mine happens to be education for life. It seems like the two of us are now on our separate path and it was for the best after all. I praise and pray to God for his divine timing and purpose and order. I didn't understand all of the reoccurring events, until now. Thank you God, your divine timing and mercy have always been there for me when I need it the most. I've found my way through education, now I pray that you keep me connected with people that can enjoy life with me. I'll do my best to enjoy life with them as well. God, I pray that you will grant me countless opportunities to move forward to the ideal life that I see myself living. A life where I am a Master Illustrator, Expert Storyteller, a pioneer storyboard director. Let's keep this up, we are moving forward one step at a time. I fee like there are a lot of talents and possibilities within myself, and at times I feel overwhelm because I am not where I want to be. But I'm better than I was yesterday. I pray that I can keep going with my life. I am sad at times but that's normal right? I pray for a life of happiness and joy. And I am working towards that point. No matter what, let's keep going.

12:57pm Saturday, April 30 2016 There's a new system of self-improvement. It goes "What mistakes did I make that time?" "What did I do that was right-and in what way could I have improved my performance?" "What lessons can I learn from that experience?" - straight from the How to Influence People and Win Friends

Just wanted to congratulate and give you encouragement on your journey, keep up the good work!

4/28/2016 2:44PM Hey did you forget? It's almost Christmas time. You didn't forget did you? Or did you gave up hope on it already? Hey listen up, Christmas is not about you at all. It's about the other person. The other person that you truly care about in this world. I know that things are very puzzling right now, but believe me when I tell you that it doesn't have to make sense. Life does not ever have to make sense. You don't need to worry about the rest, just go on living life doing what it is that you think is right. Sometimes I need to play music to understand my own emotions, and that's okay. Sometimes I just need to cry on the inside, to find out what it is that I was looking for. My determination has been made up, I will go for my dreams. It has not been so long since I've made up my mind. But day by day I will get there. Like the songs said, "I'm not as good as I'm going to be, but I'm a lot better than yesterday" . Each new day is a lesson for me to learn and experience about myself and to see if I really do want the things that I say I do. I know it is a lot to handle but you can pick yourself up one day at a time. We don't have to go full throttle, but 10mph is a lot better than 0 mph. There are always questions that you will have about life and your experiences and that's okay to have them. I just ask that you keep going, no matter what. These songs that play helps me understand what my heart is saying the most. It is telling me that it is okay to slow down, and that life will accommodate you if you so ask it to. So today, I ask that life understands me and have patience with me on my own behalf. I ask that it does not criticize or mock my inner self. I'm still discovering life day by day. And it has been the most wonderful thing I could ever experience. Thank you, everyone and everything for your grace. The sweet melody of the electric guitar help express what my heart feels when my abilities to use words is unsuitable for such purpose. Just once more, once more. Remember again what it was like to fall in love again. Remember what it was like to love life. Everything was so precious when I did fall in love. I want to capture that feeling once more. I'm wondering, if it is possible to love again. Most important, can I love myself again? Everything will be okay if you let it, so do just that. I will, don't forget it.

I want a love that's as free as the air we breath. A love so blissful that it awakens our sense of longing. A longing for a new life with what we make of it. I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you. It might not seem much, but love is all you need. So love, love and love till forever and more. I know you will make it. Bless your big heart young ones, your sky is unlimited and your love overflows. This year, I said I wanted to focus on my financial matters. It seems that God is helping me with restarting my life over again. I am thankful for the wonderful parents and friends that he has blessed me with. I am so grateful and gracious for your abundance kindness, wisdom, knowledge and love God. I pray, I pray, I pray for blessings in this life and the next. For those that are in it to win it, I pray I pray I pray for your victory and salvation. Believe in me. Your endless love will rekindle the flames of life, hope and love. Is it not wonderful to feel joy and love each day? I believe so, so keep on loving life and life will love you back! It is that simple my love. You must pause for a moment, and realized that we're all here because of love. The interesting thing is that sometimes we need to be reminded of this fact. So here is your daily reminder, God loves you. The Universe loves you. I love you. Your family loves you. Your friends loves you. Through it all, the biggest lesson this life has to give is, love. Be easy, be brave, be diligent. Be all you can be. What I need you to be, is to love yourself as well as you possibly can. And remember, whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve.

Good work journaling man, keep it up!

Sun, April 26, 2016 Keep your mind sharp. Do daily meditations and follow your heart.

Just go at your own pace, life will always find a way to make you happy. There is no need to worry about the afterlife, just this life is all you need. We have a lot of materials to read so just take your time and go at a pace that makes sense to you. There is no need to go 120mph if you can only handle 45. Remember that steering takes a lot of skills, especially in life as well as other pursuits in the future. Worry not about the thoughts of other, while you are living this life. Do not compare the gentle flowing stream to a high rapid geyser; they both have their purposes and functionalities within nature. Don't let a few sediments clog up your flow, it'll take time for you to find a suitable pace. If it will come it is not now; if it is now then it will not come. But it must come, it will come. Believe it. Yes things might not be precisely where you want them to be, but don't you feel like this is a higher calling entirely? How many people can recover like you do for something like this? Not many, I assure you. How many people can keep on marching day to day and live a life where you believe you are more than what you currently are? Not many, I assure you. Just hush hush and cry a little more, I promise things will get better day to day. You just haven't realized it yet. Go at your own pace, there is no need to rush. The work has already been done for you, you just need to be gentle and flow on each day. Go at your own pace, go at your own pace, won't life be more enjoyable going at your own pace? I plead with you to consider living day by day, smile each and every second of the day. No matter how unrealistic this is, life was meant to bring a smile to your face. Remember life and then smile once more. Choose to love each and every second, for tomorrow is promise to no one. You know this is true, what is more important to you? Living a life where you can smile each day knowing that you did your best, or a life where you constantly scrutinize yourself and lower your self each and everyday because of what you fail today? I rather choose the first life, because if I did my best...there is nothing more I could have done. And only I can accept that for myself. Because this is the noble life that has been given to me. 11:06AM 4/23/2016 Hey it seems like you had a lot on your mind last night. Is everything OK? I don't want you to over push yourself, despite whatever your original instinct is telling you. Telling you to take it easy is easier said than done. But hey, keep in mind that there are people that cares about you. Things are adjusting themselves nicely, you just need to go at your own pace. No matter what they tell, your pace is the best pace FOR YOU. I could careless about what the others are doing with their lives and you should as well. You don't need to keep looking for a way out or a way in, just live day by day and have goals that you want to accomplish and tread day by day. If it's slow, so be it. I know you're doing the best you can and no one else can take that away from you. " Don’t spend your time trying to live someone else’s life, the life that people think you should live, or the life that you think you should live. What you really should do is to start following your heart, curiosity and intuition and see where it leads you." - Corey Wayne You have also told others the same thing, and I know you are on that path! Have faith in yourself as well, trust that you are where you are is the best case scenario. This is it mate, just trust in yourself and go forward with your plans. May love and peace light up your ways. Sincerely, You

I think just caring about yourself, can go a long way. Keep up the good work!

4/20/16 11:16 PM Hi God, it's me your beloved son/daughter here. How are you tonight? I am feeling a lot better from making up with my friends. My life is going to change for the better right? I hope so Lord, I trust in you and your divine plans for me to prosper and grow from it. I, am quite thankful for the noble life that you have given me O Lord, hallelujah, my God you are so good to me I cannot fathom your love nor thoughts. But I appreciate that you took the time to take care of me. I have a question right now O Lord of the highest order, there is no denying your love for us and that your ways are higher than my ways, I remember during a service I had glimpse into your true nature and I asked you why there are so many religion in the world and you replied "why do you think I put them there in the first place? " I'm searching for you O Lord, I would like to know your ways and how you view the intricacies of life. I requested assistance back into daily life, and you have answered my prayers so thank you my Lord. I'll do my best to remember to take life one day at a time. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/346214290083141934/

I have a different opinions about your statement that killing your ego is bad and obsessing about who you are is not necessary. I view ego death as a liberating way to open up our roles in this vast universe rather than reducing and destroying who you are. I ask of this because how do you know yourself truly, are you "yourself" or are you a collection of thoughts/processes/actions that have been produced with bias skewed towards the current cultural and social hierarchy of its time? Which is more real, the thoughts you have inside your head or the thoughts of you observing your own thoughts? An obsession is often defined as thinking about such subject in an excessive manner so I assume this is what you meant by obsession. To me I have a fascination about life and its abundant properties. If you try to count the amount of sensory data we can receive in a second I believe it would be somewhere in the millions. Heck that's not even counting the billions and trillion of cells we have in our human body that functions on a daily basis. If you tried to multiply a trillion by 60, that would be 60 trillion amounts of data and that is only for one minute. Now imagine those 60 trillion amounts of data multiplied by 60 making it an hour that has passed by. Now you take that number and multiplied it by 24 and a day has passed. Now take that number and multiplied it by 365 and happy birthday, you've grown to be a year older. So much data has been created and this has been reduced to simple layman terms so that I can understand it. I feel like you're trying to encourage others to live the best life they can and by no means do I disagree. I just think from experience, you need to take a step back to appreciate the little things in life and how they work amongst each other before you can Leo also mentions in one of his videos that our lower needs is important as well and he doesn't suggest that we run off to the Himalayas and spend the rest of our life there to find enlightenment. Much of enlightenment work has to do with the fact that there is no ranzo1 nor a yukise99 but simply concepts of what ranzo1 or a yukise99 might look like through this medium of life or in this case a forum. Have you ever lost yourself in really good music and just forgot that fact that you were listening to music and the music was simply there and you were not there? The saying "lose yourself in the music" is the key to understanding this concept of no-self and that there is a much deeper and more enchanting part of life that we have never looked at when we become enlighten. The phrase "Life is an illusion" means that life can be perceptive to the observer itself, not that Life is not real. There is a very BIG difference between the interpretations of realities and the existence of realities. You cannot deny the existence of realities but however you can deny its interpretations. If you commit a crime, the existence of a consequences that follows its sequential order does exist. The interpretations of that crime itself is where "Life is an illusion" would come in. If a person viewed themselves as a bad person for committing the crime then that is an illusion he has put over himself. However that would be an illusion for the simple fact that if you observe yourself and declare yourself to be bad and believes this is true, you are in the wrong because you cannot use your own statements to prove something to be the truth, otherwise it would be considered an axiom. In other words you cannot say this apple is "green" because this apple is green. Do you understand? There are many things that many would consider to be pointless in life, however if one looks underneath its exterior functions and have a deeper insight into why those pointless things are attracting you the way they do, well they can give you a clue into who you are or life in general. And why do we care about who we "truly are" or "what life is really about?". Well it's up to you whether or not you want to pursue self-actualization work or to discover enlightenment. To quote Leo, "what is more interesting than ourselves?" Why do we think the way we do? Does this benefit me or not benefit me. Is this good for long term or short term? Etc...I believe that self-actualization work and discovering enlightenment would help us learn to appreciate and gives us a greater sense of how to navigate life. There have been major changes in the past, however the classics remains the classic is because they contain the embodiment of that something special from either obtaining enlightenment or doing self-actualization works. I hope you'll continue to discover your reasons for why you've been born in the special time and place that you were given to live in. I find it fascinating that life works the way it does.

Even though I haven't seen it yet, I think the pursuit of happiness is a pretty good one.

April 19, 2016 2:37 PM How long has it been since I've written down my own thoughts. Not too many days that I cannot count them. My head is adjusting well, I sometimes question my own recovery but it is coming along nicely. I just gotta remind myself to take it day by day, line by line and precept upon precept. Spring is often a resemblance of a rebirth in nature. As such for my life, it'll be reflected towards that nature and I establish a new beginning for myself. A beginning of joy and semblance of love, peace and luck. I've been away for quite a long time and it appears that a lot has changed since I was here. My friendships, the battles that I have fought so hard to keep them. It is now realized. I pray that our whole heart felt emotions will guide us to our next adventure in life. For this year, I pray and requested that God the father helps me with my financial skills and knowledge as a whole. And he has already provided those lessons over these past couple of days, hallelujah the lord has spoken. God be praised, for I was lost and now I am found. As for my mental conditions, my health has been improving at a very nice and enjoyable pace. I used to want to take things to extreme speed but now I realized that there is no need for such things. It is a nice skill to have but perhaps it should only be activated in dire situations. And daily living disqualifies such skill as needed. The days passes by and I realized what it is that I truly want to focus on; Martial Arts, Drawing, School and Financial Skills. I have faith that all will be provided for me and that I simply grateful for such things. Thank you God for being who you are, it matters not who I am but who you are God. I don't quite understand your generosity but I truly appreciate it. It has been a humbling experience to learn about your love, O creator of the Universe. Your sweet grace has been the desert to the lavish meals that you have greatly provided O Glory to God, you are an astounding and supreme Creator. For you have created me and taken care of me, I applaud and am humbled by your generosity and grace towards us all. God, I do not want to say good bye to you. For I know that your ways are higher than my ways, and yet I appreciate your benevolence mercy to listen to someone like me. I never want to say good bye to you God, for you are my savior, my God, my lord, my king above all kings. I have realized that I have had a false understanding of you my entire life and I am sorry for it. I have blamed you, cursed you, and yelled at you over the past years of my life. But no more shall be the amount of my toil in foolishness. I apologize if my ignorance is blatant, God I do not know your ways. Please show me the way to life. To live life in abundance and to experience joy each day. My God, I do not know why I have a stronger bond in you then Jesus. I ask for forgiveness on my part I just don't quite understand it yet. I will find my way, please believe me. Is it foolish to ask you to believe in me father? I don't quite know for I am young. I pray my God is that you'll remind me that you are a loving Father when I have lost my ways. I pray that you do not take offense in what I have written, if so I apologize greatly. I simply pray for my own happiness and chooses it accordingly. God I pray that you would be able to smile everyday thinking of me, I know I have disappointed you in the past. But that never stopped you from loving me. Really I do love you, I am just confused about what is right and what is wrong. Do you ever smile thinking about me God? For you know when I rise and fall, so I imagine you must care a lot about me. I am confused about my feelings for you. I don't quite know who you are God, but I am quite infatuated with your love. It is like a taste of sweet candy liquor on Christmas day. You have shown me what life could be all about and I really really appreciate it! I am on my way to living a better life, I hope you can accept me as I am. I find it hard enough to accept myself as I am, I truly appreciate your kindness and love towards myself and others. God, I smile everyday thinking of how you took care of me these past few years. But it turns out you have been looking out for me before I was even born. I'm sorry for telling you this, but I am more of a girl within me then I am male. I'm trying my best to live life as a girl because that's one of my many sides that I have. I only know my male and female sides at the moment, but yes I attuned myself as a female more than male. I don't think there are any significant changes in myself other than that I am more accepting of myself as a female than male. It's not that I feel uncomfortable with my current gender, it's moreso that I have two genders/side instead of just one. I don't think anyone else needs to know about my female side other than you God. I would like to eventually draw out my female side more. But for now my recovery is top priority. I just hope you can accept me as I go through life and become more of true self, rather than who I think I have to be to live this life. With love, as always Your daughter/son

It can be quite a tough journey to find what is that you truly want in life. From your opening sentence, it appears to me that you have seen Leo's video where he talks about the "you" don't really exists at all or the truth of no-self. In my heart of heart I believe that what Leo is saying is to be allegorical/metaphorical/Requires heavy amount of knowledge to acquire and apply to your daily life. From your posts, it appears to me that you are trying to undermine your own current situation and fall back on confusion and despair as a way to cope with your life. Your current situation can be complicated to understand from your own perspective, and I agree that things can be hard to understand when we are in the midst of a whirlwind of emotions. I just ask that you consider the alternative reality to what is already there, and that is you have already figured out how your life should be. I believe that you have been suffering for a while and want to know why you feel this; considering what you have in life is "more" in comparison to others or so you say/believe in your post. A comfortable life is nothing to be ashamed but what is important is your perception of it, and trust me when I tell you that I too have this problem; it's the primary reason why I can see it and guide your thinking somewhere else that will enhance your life. I have always felt at odds with my parents because I have a particular perception that I did not want to burden them with my life, however I always fail to account that my parents were the ones that chose to raise me. So far as I don't take advantage of their kindness and ask for ridiculous things, I always feel at peace for myself because I know I am wanted and needed in their lives. I've struggled with mental illness in the past and at this point I can barely handle one college class without a mental breakdown within a week, (but I'm still pushing on to try again in fall quarter and that is the important thing) . I think you need to realize that your parents does want you around the house, and if you help them out once in a while you'll find your reason to live once more. It's different for everybody I agree, since this is my post I will give you my opinion on the topics in regards to spirituality. I've always held a firm belief that spirituality can be easily accessed without the assistance of drugs or narcotics. And would advise you to stay away from LSD or any other drugs as it can lead to a state of codependency and I rather not have you waste your money nor time on such frivolous activities. It appears that Leo's concept of no-self is where you are question yourself and where much of your suffering lies ("If I'm not real, my problems aren't real therefore they should not be causing me to suffer" is what appears to me how you feel about your current situation. I will try to explain this concept a bit more with my own interpretations which may help you deal with your problems, but do take it with a grain of salt. The concept of no-self in one of Leo's videos refers to when he asks you to look at your hands and then tells you that there is no hand. I believe that it refers to the physical/mental/spiritual/astral/infinite/finite realities of life. For example we only know a rock is a rock is because we used the physical description to match a physical rock. However that rock does not exists in other realities of life, for example is the rock you're looking at; is it really there? Or was there already data of the physical rock being at that precisely location so that when you picked up that rock at X time with Y action your brain created/accessed the sensory data that results in you interpreting that a rock was there, when beyond reality nothing is there. However what I struggle with is to find the usage of such information or interpretations of Leo's concept of no-self. He states in his video that it'll lead to a lot of less suffering and you'll be enjoying a more fulfilled life. For me this is realizing that there is no problem, therefore whatever situation I am is "nothing" I can't handle. Though I will admit that my knowledge is elementary in comparison to Leo and that I could be wrong. This is how I have been using his concept of no-self to help guide my life. Perhaps it was this concept that has been bugging your mind and cause a perpetual cycle of self-sabotage and undesirable mental conditions. I ask that you reevaluate your life and know that it is truly the journey that matters and what you learned from rising up and sitting down rather the great destination that you are trying to get through. Hang in there bud, I was crying out loud yesterday and I just want you to know that it is okay to stumble and fall over and over again. As long as you're willing to get up each time, there is no shame in trying again for another day. Cheers,

Sat, April 16, 2016 11:59am Today I write down my goals for the year. I feel like nothing, that sense of void but that void itself contains something within it. I gotta make better reading youtube videos. I got a few things I want to focus on. 1. Drop down to 180-160-145lbs to get my cosplay body. 2. Make spectacular youtube theme videos. 3. Learn how to manage my finances. Side goals: Have $78,000 in the bank. Right now I have $80 in the bank, $300+ credit card debt. Get 50,000 subscribers on youtube. Draw a little bit once a day. Read the bible once a day. Primary Focus: Drawing at the Master's level Martial Arts