appleaurorae

Basically, it will in general fit to a person who will try to use this. A sceptic wouldn't even try to go on this site and even if, they won't buy it. But a new age fan ("I hav been2 so many meetingz, I'm so enlightend maigod!!11! and I loaf buterfliez, i now read book about tatrot") would completely buy this. (I know such people.) There are just lemmings out there who are living the illusion that someone will enlighten them. I even sometimes fall into this trap. As a person using and studying magick, divinations and similar metaphysics on everyday basis, I know one thing: it's free and I consider it immoral to charge for it. You can give paid lesson, that's different.

Some time ago I used chasteberry to not masturbate first for 4 months, then for 2, then the tolerance has risen. Recently I watched https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRJ_QfP2mhU and challenged myself to also stop doing it. And didn't watch anything since then. Also I decided to masturbate only when absolutely needed. That's how I moved from between twice a day and once every two days into once every 5~7 days or even longer. The point is not to fill yourself with thoughts and avoid graphics, texts, songs, talks, etc.

Frankly, that's how my every meditation starts: a giant amount of flying thoughts. Solution? Don't feed them. These threads will just discharge when you stop powering them. Just be as much ignorant as you can. And don't push them away. Let them be until they vanish, keep being patient. Don't get angry about it, don't force it.

This is not a question to help me resolve a problem. It's just a story . TL;DR summary: I had low self-esteem for many many years, hated myself, I was too beta to approach girls, but after some personal development lately and actually becoming able to pick up, I completely changed my perspective and now I think that my girlfriend or even wife would need to match me, would need to also grow and develop herself and walk with me the path towards ascension. Still never had a girlfriend + asexual virgin (never want to lose it, yet I am still able to give sexual pleasure to my future partner if she needs to, using hands and toys and doing sensual stuff, not passing the sensuality-sexuality border myself). Super-long story of my life I am focusing on negativity here. So I was born. I was born with emotional oversensitivity. First kindergarten: when my parents left me there, every day I was crying. Then came elementary school. It was this time. First grade was similar to kindergarten, except I wasn't crying when left by parents. It was the first time I made a friend (a classmate, but he was too immature for friendship tbh). He started school several days later, was very scared at first and I was the first person to just approach him and start talking. My group (class) liked me at first, but we had this war (meh, children) with another group (class) and I probably was the most hated by them. I wanted to be cool, to fit in more. In the second grade began something awful. Lowered self-esteem became reality. The first time I was talking about suicide (8 years old!). When something was wrong, it didn't just result in crying: instead I was hitting my forehead. I wanted to destroy my skull and die. It happened multiple times. It often started when I wanted to be cool. Third grade was similar to the second. Also I am gaining weight. Fourth grade. Now things change a little because now we have separate subjects (instead of integrated classes). Still problems are existing, even worse. We have physical education with that other class. There was my largest enemy there. My psyche worsens. They laugh at me that I'm fat. After some time, things are starting to brighten, I have better contact with my class. But bullies from elder classes show up. Even younger guys harass me. Fifth grade, things starting to loosen. The war is over. We have grown. Still that one dude is my enemy. But well, I made some contact with the other third class. This is the time when boys and girls think about these mysterious relationships and all these butterflies in stomach and kissing. I'm of course a human-ruin so that's not what I do think about. Well, now whenever a girl asks me something and giggles, I am becoming angry and think that they want to make fun of me. Sixth grade. Begins similar to the fifth. But here that one girl gets my number and we start texting (or maybe it was in fifth?). And during vacation she writes if I love her, I say "yes" (even though I wasn't sure). She replied that she just wanted friendship. But during school I had some cool friends (even girls) who just liked me. Secondary school. First impression: disaster. A fat, yet strong and self-confident guy in my class is bullying me through all years, yet sometimes we talk normally. But it was getting better gradually. Still I wanted to fit in and be cool. And in the first and second grade of secondary I cut myself when something bad happened but I wanted teachers to see this, it was kind of protest. I fell in crazy love with friend of my cousin. Of course she didn't know about it. I remained in that state for like 5 years (if not longer if it was already in elementary school). She even was in my home (with my cousin) several times and during these 5 years, I might have talked with her 30 full sentences. I was just so embarrassed to speak. Well, here things are more complicated. I was always imagining me with her being some perfect unity towards ascension. I haven't ever felt sexually. This is the point I started to realize there's something different. I was opposite of demisexual (so I had no sexual attraction towards loved ones). Just clean romantic relationship and growing together. I read a lot of PUA guides but never have balls to use them. I also text with other friend of my cousin, but this time I don't expect anything. High school, the time me and my two best friends think about business. Others are partying, we are writing down business plans. I am still crazy about that girl. The first grade of high school was kind of hard, because I called one girl a slut because of the way she dressed. This resulted in me sending photos how I want to hang myself and going to psychologist. Then in the second grade of high school I started being much more spiritual, but it was a secret. I only told it to my one girl friend (not girlfriend) whom I trusted completely. University. Away from home alone. My girl friend leaves me because of emotional problems (or I did something wrong maybe?). But I make new friends. And a new girl friend. I fell in love several times with her (unrequited). Third semester. She already dropped out but I have great contact with her. But subjects are hard. Christmas: my family attacks me how ungrateful I am. I rent a room but my landlady is crazy. Also a lot of spiders and I have arachnophobia. I am getting depressed. I count on my girl friend. She found her second boyfriend (over facebook LOL) and writes how awesome he is instead of anyhow helping me. I reached the lowest point in my life. I started taking drugs to function normally (not antidepressants but psychoactive OTC cough medicine). I cut myself like never before. It was about year and two months ago. I came back home. Then again I reached some top. I sent that friend love letters. She refused in stupid way. I just went furious and we quarrelled. But I felt better and better without her. When in September we reconciled. I started from the beginning on other university. Still that girl friend is my friend. My best friend actually. She is my teacher. There is metaphysics between us. I felt like I am finally well. However, about four months ago I was again complaining. The only thing I felt lacked was pure romantic love. My friend just told me to meditate. And another friend told me to find internal love towards myself. Everything changed. I describe everything since then on my blog https://inneraurora.wordpress.com/?order=ASC. I became self-confident, tried picking up girls with amazing result surprisingly quickly. On the second semester a girl I knew from high school joined. I always thought she's kind of cute, but was never confident enough to talk to her. Until now. I asked her out. Turned out she's thousand times more shy than I was then. But her life was too simple and individualistic for me. Even though the looks and personality were cool. And here goes the point: now I don't think about having any girl. My girlfriend must match me completely. She must think about personal development, spirituality and ascension. To this day I have never had a girlfriend. I am still virgin (even though I'm asexual). I still want romantic relationship. However, it's worth waiting for the perfect one. For the one I can become unity with, for the one I can ascend with. Even if she turns out to be sexual who needs it, I am able to fulfil her desire without losing virginity. Yet, I'm constantly breaking the rule because I want to romantically attract (using Law of Attraction) the hottest girl on my year. I have quite good contact with her. She turned out not to be anyhow related to metaphysics, yet I still dig inside her mind and soul . And I don't believe in such thing as friendzone. Also @Leo Gura, it really irritates me when I read (http://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-get-a-girlfriend) Seriously?

I meant: an obese beta guy living in a cellar and eating cheetos wanting to get laid will understand what's going on in this video. And my knowledge comes from close friends of mine. However, what you are trying now to message is that sex is foundation of relationships. They wanted to sleep with you because you wanted to sleep with them - simple. But let's assume that your theory is 100% true. I approach a girl, want to be with her and suddenly she asks me for sex. Ok, I reply no. She insists. I still refuse. She leaves me because I'm asexual. Having billion other reasons for staying, she left just because of that one. What would this mean? That first of all she was never worth approaching and secondly, she's not even a human (because she has absolutely no feelings). The same way she could have left me if I hadn't had an arm. I can also add that from my pick-up experience, every girl I talked with was completely unworthy of my time, they were just level 1~2. So that's kind of logical if you take statistics. You can't be in a relationship with every girl, so do I. All girls doesn't match you. But there exists at least one girl that does.

As an asexual I will add my two cents. Sexual tension (not sex) is a half-physiological need. You can't live without kidneys, lungs, bowels. But you can without testicles. It's proven (castration/spaying on a lot of pets!) that removal of testicles results in longer lifespan. But still there's that brain part. So, I some time ago tried to find a way to stop masturbation (just for the sake of it). I found that a plant called chasteberry (Vitex agnus-castus) is a way. I read some topic on some forums where one guy was describing that there are no side-effects and that he even needs less sleep. I bought it and it worked. I didn't masturbate for four months then for two. But it stopped working (probably tolerance have grown). Also I slept usually only 7 hours (compared to 8) to be fully rested. Also, chasteberry is not psychoactive in any way if you ask, it works similar to progesterone (or induces it's production). Chasteberry is a tool for males, women stay away or you may screw up your menstruation. So there's some evidence that you can override sexual tension and the need for sex. That's why I consider Freud an idiot.

But if my waist has excess of fat and I would exercise to align it in the same region, there will still be excess .

I think you meant distribution around entire body. It's that I have some superslim parts and some obese parts .-. But waist is the most fatty (chest also).

Firstly: goals can change with time, so do values. Secondly: self-discipline. That's an anti-value. Here (1:03 to 1:12)

Lentils, flaxseed, sunflower and pumpkin seeds, frankly any fruit and vegetable, apple cider vinegar, water, nuts (especially walnuts, almonds, brazil).

Or you have third option: either asexual will do it for the sexual or sexual will be ok not doing it. One side must compromise. That's where this mysterious love starts. You accept flaws of the second person, you can handle the problems. Like, your dream girl is a slim blonde with large breasts who is doing sports all day, but somehow you are extremely in love with that nerdy looking bookworm. Think about people who don't have a partner and are sexual. Little of them engage in intercourse. For the most of them masturbation is enough. I strongly agree that if you take statistics this statement will receive 95% truth. But statistics are in majority made of lemmings. Most of humanity are lemmings (animal comparison is here strongly intended). And I personally even as sexual would want to avoid having a lemming partner . Still even some of such simple-minded single girls don't get laid every other night or even week or even month.

(I think you quoted not what you wanted). I do understand, there are males who want to have a girlfriend and to get laid also. But still, what he said sounded like that sex is the most fundamental part of relationship (which in reality is not, it's just an addition). I feel that society is blinded with all that "friendzone", which is complete horsesh*t, I asked a lot of girls if friendship is a base for a true relationship and huge majority replied that this statement is true (taking into account that most of my female friends and acquaintances represent something more than a grey person). We are on the forum which is a proof that there's something more inside a human being than just copulation, so this also applies to relationships, especially for a person watching Leo's videos = especially for a person wanting to self-develop. Well, I do it. I mean I don't and I do. My life is too complicated .

Two people having sex with doesn't make them a couple nor does being a couple mean that people must have sex. It's like telling that asexual romantics are handicapped in some way and are unable to create a relationship. @Neill thank you, that kind of makes sense, Leo just made a video for a simple-minded low-level people .

From entheogens I did nutmeg (myristicin) and one time I felt vital energies coming into my body from celery and when I was laying on the floor I felt like I am one with the Earth, with nature and plants are growing around me. Don't do nutmeg unless you are a professional cause it can dehydrate you. I also did dextromethorphan in larger doses several times, but mostly it was just a high. Yet there's an entire magazine about this one substance. TBH, I consider drugs not a way to achieve enlightenment. It's just some chemicals influencing your serotonin, dopamine, NMDA and stuff.

Have you ever considered joining (these are not religions) Freemasons, Rosicrucians or similar organization?

I would multiply it to become richer than entire Rotschild family. Then control the planet and become the king of European Economic Area.

I was never fond of alcohol. But I haven't touched a beer since October 2014. The largest motivation was video called (translating) Vodka - Technology of Drinking Induction (a Russian documentary, can't find it in English). But the graphic might work for you as well (seek to 24:58). What he's talking about is that red blood cells in contact with alcohol start to form lumps which clog capillaries in brain which results both in a neuron dying and capillaries explosion under pressure, so basically, your blood spills in your brain.

I bet even Leo has such days. For me most of rainy days are such. However, if most of your days are like this, you might consider several possibilities: are there other people that might influence your mood are you surrounding yourself with negativity (like TV, browsing news, etc.) do you meditate the most important: just sit down, relax and talk with yourself like with the second person: Do I really want this? What do I want? Why do I want this and that?

@Progress Off-topic: I wouldn't drag anyone into Crowley's stuff unless the person seeks for themselves. It's like, joining OTO or reading Thelema can make one's brain/soul explode. But I agree that Crowley and Mathers (and Waite, Firth, earlier Dee etc.) had giant impact on modern metaphysics. Frankly, doing simple candle-chant-pagan stuff would be enough for casual seeker. High Magick is too giant. Yet, I recommend Modern Magick by D. M. Kraig. I found out that during meditation, I am not ashamed of anything I did in the past .

TBH, I sometimes also want to meditate for such long. But for me 30 minutes is often too much (my legs go numb in half-lotus and still it's my favourite position to meditate). However, I started from 5 minutes, then when after several months, I set timer for 12 minutes it wasn't even half of what I wanted. But I plan to try longer, outside or with incense during vaca.

Enlightened person with enlightened person, with similar goals or accepting different ones, wanting to improve: yes, why not. But if you choose to be both higher and have a lemming girlfriend/boyfriend: not going to happen or you are a masochist. Exactly (giving like for this). I mean, if you consider Aleister Crowley a spiritual teacher, then there are such who care . However, yes, I as a romantic asexual can say, there are things other than sex that are billion times more important in a true relationship (such relationship consists also of friendship, duh). But as an inexperienced person in relationships in practice, I can only believe.

I often listen to this (sometimes even entire days) It kinda works, I improved a bit by listening to this. Especially, after I read or watch some political crap and my pressure is heightened, I instantly switch to that and in the matter of seconds, I am calm, safe in my own body-home.

Absolutely agreed with the topic title. Whether it's cold, raining or sunny, I just need to go biking or for a walk to not be a zombie for the rest of the day. @edit: Today I left home during rain, just to feel that water dripping on me. During stroll I found out that a place where I had used to play with cousins when I was younger, was completely rebuild and changed a lot.

A week ago I created a point system for myself with which I can prevent me from doing things that I regret. Maybe you were looking for some way to not do things, so try this. So there are both + and - points. This table represents my current rules (of course you make your own rules). Also write down things you really want to stop, not the things you should not do because mum/boss/priest/neighbour/facebook friend told me. Every evening sum up the points (be honest!). As for now I have +30 points. I didn't really make any goal of how much I do want to gain or set any prize. However, I started to control myself more, so I consider this idea a success. I'm going to broaden the list after some time.

I recently quitted caffeine for the second time in my life. I am sure I was addicted, because after first break, when I drank the first one I wanted more and more. One day I drank 5 cups. And my bowels stopped working without it. Now I am regaining bowel movements. Not worth it, I give coffee 3/10. Better drink chicory or chocolate (as xocolatl). The latter also wakes you up (capsaicin + flavonoids + really tiny amounts of caffeine). Also as mentioned green tea that doesn't dehydrate you.