DoubleYou

Welcome to earth. This is nothing new unfortunately. Ego's run amok.

Feeling special is normal. Every human being thinks they're special. It's what ego does. Separate itself from the rest. It helps to find out why these people do the things they do. Why do people smoke? Why do people drink? Why do people destroy their bodies willingly? Why are people needy? If you are able to answer all these questions on a deeper level, I promise you the judging will stop. In a recent video, Leo spoke about always pursuing big picture understanding. I would recommend just that.

If we're talking about Leo's videos, then it's the one about how the mind distorts reality. This was the first time I got to see just how much of my experience is conceptual. Really blew my mind. Overall, I would say meditation. In a matter of months it transformed me from a deeply depressed human being into a smiling one. The search for happiness came to an end, and because of that I finally found it.

It's all just surfacing. Don't give it too much power. It's just a thought, a memory, and by becoming aware of it you create a space between it and you. Try to make the transition from 'you thinking suicidal thoughts' to 'you witnessing suicidal thoughts.' From here on, it's no longer personal. Now you can focus on the feelings behind it instead. This is probably what's triggering your mind to think these thoughts in the first place. It's an opportunity to work out these feelings and therefor the thoughts that accompany them. There will come a time when these feelings are no longer unwelcome and at that point the thought won't bother you anymore either. It might still surface. But no longer as something you deem threatening. and so it will slowly lose it's grip on you. Remember, you are the one that gives power to the thoughts by acknowledging them as your own. Just let 'em pass. Meditation will do the rest.

Not really answering your questions but have you tried a ketogenic diet? Did wonders for me and many others. It's also not that hard to do because of all the fats you can eat.

The real noise is happening within. Instead of focussing on how to stop the noises around you, look at the intensity of your thoughts. The noise isn't bothering you, your thoughts about it are. The noise doesn't hold a quality until you grant it one. Allow the thoughts to be what they are by focussing on that instead of the sounds. Sounds like a great opportunity to grow from. If you can be peaceful in the midst of chaos, meditation is doing it's job for you. Keep working on it. This is what meditation is all about. I hope you are able to see that It's actually your own thought and ego smog that's preventing you from being peaceful in the moment. Different people react different to different situations. No need to compare. Also, let's be honest here. You can love your neighbour all you want, but is that really what you feel in that moment? I would even advice to completely allow your anger to surface. Don't block it. Be with it in the moment. Those are the feelings that are creating your problem, so focus on that. Good luck!

@Prabhaker Great quotes. Creativity as the quality of the activity. I like that.

What would be the point of deceiving mankind into thinking its spherical? Also, have you ever been on a plane?

By accepting these "bad habits" you bring them into your awareness instead of denying them and therefor it will be easier to see and express the emotions that are causing them in the first place.

This. Positive thoughts are a result of conscious living. Not the other way around. @MochaSlap I would recommend this book if you're into this stuff.

I think a sense of direction is very important. I'm a fine musician myself but I'm awful at drawing for instance. Maybe try looking for things that really resonate with you and find out if you still experience this block. Being good at something takes a lot of time. Time which you will only put into if you think that it's worth it anyway. And it's only worth it if you really love what you're doing. Try and find your life purpose. One thing to realise, is that mind is all memory. Everything you imagine you have already seen before. A lot of artists won't admit this, but it's all about taking a spin with these older concepts and creating something new out of it.

Eating animals isn't even the problem. It's just how damn unconscious we have become of the process. We don't call them cows or chickens, we call them burgers and nuggets. Not caring where it came from. It creates a safe distance. It's the unconsciousness that creates all suffering. Eat all the meat you want. Just be more conscious. Behind closed doors, animals die for you, not so that you may live but for the satisfaction of your taste buds. Not saying that it's wrong. If you're fine with that then that's great. It's just reality. I asked myself this: Can I look the animal I'm about to eat in it's eyes right before killing it? The answer was no. So I chose not to look away and let someone else do it for me. If you can say yes. Again, totally fine. And if you say no, at least acknowledge you're looking away.

If I remember correctly, the video states that lying itself isn't the problem. The problem is you being unaware of all the lying you do.

I've been noticing that the best way for me to make the ego harmless is to see it as the mechanism it is. This way you automatically disidentify with it and you can laugh about it and even love it. Even its destructive ways. I think a lot of people are trying to get rid of the ego, but when you do that you are automatically labeling it as something bad which is an egoic thing to do. So thats kind of a paradox you can't avoid. I'm really struggling with this cause I'm noticing the endless judging that comes from this. Judging of judging of judging. Now, my question is: Does enlightenment mean a state of no more ego -or- a permanent disidentification with an ego that's still present? Thanks

The first thing to realise is that you are completely free to do whatever the fuck you want to do in life. Always. Don't turn self development into religious abstaining. If you want to read a book. Read a book. It's that simple. What you can do however is be mindful of the things you do. Don't quit anything if you don't even know why you quit in the first place. I remember a video from Leo where he stated: if you want to lose weight, keep eating those fat, greasy burgers. But, do it with all of your awareness. The more you do this, the more you'll see that it's not helping you. Same with all those other things. Become aware the moment you want to read that book. You might find out that you're actually doing it to avoid something. Explore that. Good luck. Don't be too hard on your self. It shouldn't become a chore. That will only discourage you to further self actualise.

Our belief system is a perception of direct experience. Not direct experience itself. So, direct experience is not an alternative to a belief system. The belief system simply doesn't matter. You can see a color and be a 100% certain that it's blue. It won't change what you see. It doesn't matter what you call it, or believe it to be. That's just a story in the mind. It has nothing to do with reality. (Rhyming not intended lol) But if I say the color is red, you will get defensive. I mean of course it's blue. You've known that since your childhood. But do you see that you're just defending a thought. Not reality. It's a simplified example but in essence that's all we've been doing. Defending thoughts that we don't even know how and where they originated from. At least that's my take on today's video. Interesting stuff. It will rise with or without you believing that it will or won't. It makes no difference.

Sure, we can write thousands of books about the complex structures of the ego and the way that it functions but when talking about awareness you can simply say that 'it is.' There's not much else to say about it. It's purely experiential. Therefor I say 'the now' in it's simplicity is quite an accurate description as far as describing awareness goes. It refers directly to experience itself instead of our perception of experience. Which is what enlightenment is all about.

At first I thought that Leo might have taken a bit too much of that 5-meo stuff

Some five years ago, the moment I started on my spiritual journey, I instantly got a huge headache. It never left. Those first years I was unable to live with it. It got me depressed and I hated it with a passion. Now, some years (and a whole lot of meditating) later, I know it's been my greatest teacher. I can see that it's being caused by my owns stress so I'm slowly working on it. But the best part is that I'm able to live with it. Not all the time, but right now I see it as a teacher instead of an annoyance. Now, I'm not saying it will stay for years, this is just what happened to me. But as long as it's there, it's your best teacher. If you can learn to live with constant pain, you can live with anything. This too. Try to work on your breathing and posture. Small things like unconsciously holding the belly could be a cause of it. It's a great opportunity to get to know your own body. Get to the bottom of it so you can grow from it. Good luck!

There's not much else to it though. Don't overcomplicate it. Ego is only about past and future so if you want to be enlightened then 'the now' is your only option. Or 5-meo, I've heard.

What's the difference? A good meditation is the ultimate form of awareness. You'll have to decide for yourself if you think you need that. I can only speak for myself and meditation has changed my life completely. Why does this question come up more and more lately? Meditation is the best thing about self actualising. It feels great and it provides amazing benefits along the way. Why would you want to cheat your way out of that?

Does that guy blink even once? About Leo's video. Meh.. I'll see it when I see it. Don't really care either way.

Actually, the body is still the one that feels, touches, hears, thinks, etc. You are that which is aware of that.

@Key Elements What if an artist painting something beautiful and meaningful is the way it is? That's the whole thing. It's always fine the way it is. When enlightened there's just no ego telling you that it's not.

It seems like you're very strongly judging the ego as something wrong. It's also part of the now. We are indeed playing with our ego's. Let the play unfold is what I would suggest. You say that the forum doesn't matter, but that's also a judgement from ego. With that statement we could just delete entire existence because it doesn't matter. Fact is, even if it matters or not, it's there all the same. Why fight it? Acceptance is what you're looking for. Start by accepting/loving the ego as a part of the human experience. Not as a broken mechanism that needs to be gone. See how you are judging everything the ego does. That's the ego itself. Observe the fooling of yourself. Observe the controlling. It will keep on doing these things. Accept that. Don't fight it. Or if you can't do that, accept the fighting against it. Always take a step back. This way you keep disidentifying from it. You are your biggest enemy. But that can be observed and therefor accepted. Love it, laugh about it. Eventually that fight won't last. Because how can anything fight something it doesn't mind? Again, accept that there is an ego that is trying to take control. Don't try to stop controlling. This is such a subtle thing. I've been exactly where you're at after I had my first awakening experience. I was getting so damn aware of all these things my ego is doing. Everything became so damn obvious. This is a great step. You've become aware of the mechanism. Now it's time to disidentify with it, yet still allow it to be what it is. You can't expect ego to die off just like that. It's a slow learner, eventually it'll calm itself. But in the meantime, become friends with it. Hope this helps.