Misato Katsuragi

Hello everyone, I just wanted to say that I think I accidentally saw the truth of reality, which is that all my beliefs were just assumptions I made. and I became extremely conscious of this fact. I didn't do any drugs to get in this state and wasn't trying to get here more so just happened to accidentally fall into this hole after questioning the reason why I believed things. I also was able to see things like a newborn baby, and everything had no sense of construction and was able to see things without my mind determining what it was. Im personally not interested in seeing anymore right now, I know theres a lot more, but what I experienced was the most terrifying thing i've ever felt. I had panic attacks and I was not able to eat, drink or sleep for 2 days because I was so concerned with trying to stay grounded in reality. I do want some of my ego right back again so I can get grounded back into reality, like I want to feel the desire to eat, I want the desire to play video games. again it was not my intention to get here, I had seen all the videos of people freaking out and having traumatic experiences from psychedelic drugs but I didn't realize you could enter a state like this via just contemplating things deeply about how we know anything, and just being really open minded about stuff. But I became so conscious about how my mind determines everything, that like if a person insulted me or called me stupid I wouldn't care, and I wouldn't even care if I walked on glass or something because I was so conscious about how I determine what I feel. So now like I want to get offended at people when they insult me, just so like I can have an ego to navigate the world and I want to feel attachment and I don't want to be aware of what my mind is doing Im too conscious I don't want this as it freaks me out. i'm not ready for this. also this is so hard not to think about im not sure if time will make it go awaay as I keep thinking about it unintentionally, I need to fall asleep in life

@Ishanga yeah I think that could work, I need to just like not think about it and those things do get me out of my own head as it kinda forces me to

@Hojo I appreciate it i'll try something like that.