OhHiMark

A good technique if one side of the body gives up before the other is to focus on iso-lateral workouts i.e one side at a time. So for your chest, you'd hold a dumbbell in the right hand for 8 reps, the the left. Should stimulate the correct muscles to bring the weaker side up to speed. It's good because the weaker side doesn't have the stronger side to compensate so must get stronger. Don't worry about not aching after a workout.

That's it! I've been through what I thought was the worlds worst heartbreak with an ex but laugh when I look back at it. It's interesting how that with news like my job rejection we take it as if our bodies are physically under attack or in danger. Nothing in my world has change aside from receiving news that I'm not going to get a job I never had, or knew about a few weeks back.. Onwards and upwards. But yes, working on a 5 star resort with no rent for several months wouldn't have been so bad. Anyway I'm back in the game, applying for actual jobs and planning my next move.

I had the opportunity to interview for an wonderful job working on luxury resorts across the globe. *It all went wrong when I gave the job far too much of my energy, we didn't have anything for over a week so that was a week of constantly going over the interview in my head, what I did right and wrong and it drained me, I became consumed by getting away from my current Life (running away if you will) from money problems, my house mate, and living somewhere with clear waters. I received the 'I'm sorry but..' email this morning but quickly felt much better when I stuck on some Tony Robbins, the thing that's getting to me most is that we have a facebook group and everyone is now posting where they're being shipped too. I'm trying to stay positive, learn from this and keep moving forwards so posting here is just for some extra advice really. It's only a job but too me it was the escape from my current Life which was appealing, this shows I have some things to fix. *If there's one thing I've learned it's that giving too much energy to a particular thing can only end one way.

Thanks guys, just what I needed. Thanks for the vid, had a Leo binge this morning and it really helped. I had another interview this morning and another on Friday (well recruitment day) I am now strategically planning how I can use my own initiate to move abroad and use my skills there on my own terms. Sometimes it good just to be listened too!

Bit of a back story, My mother, sister and I had a hard time growing up. Lot's of arguments, fighting and sad times but in a way this made us closer. However my sister who is 33 has never been able to let go of the past, she blames mum for everything. She had a baby last year and moved in with mum even though she knew they can't live together, but in her words "I had no choice". Needless to say mum is forever on edge, my sister will literally have a nervous breakdown from a look to a word said out of place, this is mainly because it always leads to the same place "you raised me like this, it's all your fault". An important thing to note here is my sister is a child psychologist, she basks in the fact that there's noway she can be wrong because, well, she's a child psychologist which basically makes any argument pointless. It's quite scary knowing that someone is helping a child who physically & mentally harms their own mother.. I was meant to go to their home for xmas today but my mum told me my sister has 'blown up' again, blaming her for everything, won't stay in the same room etc. But will happily use her car for work and her home to live in. She's being seeing a therapist which obviously isn't working as my sister truly believes everything is everyone else's thought so I'm pretty sure the therapist has 'slightly' altered version of accounts. Any attempt at speaking with her about these issues would erupt into an argument. also being a 33 year old therapist, she said to my mum today (on xmas) "Can you leave the room while my son opens he's presents, I don't like you." It's almost so absurd that you're lost for words. Do people like this ever change? Is it made worse by their profession? Is there anything you can say or do with people like this or just sit their and take it? Because no matter what my mum say's my sister isn't happy.

She is but she's very manic which I'm sure the baby picks up on.

Thanks so much, I don't just want to send it blindly so I may say that the guy in the video is a friend and it helped me once. Otherwise she'll just write it off! However I think there's something underlying with her as over the years I've sent books, quotes, motivational stuff to which she'll say "wow, I never thought of it like that" but she forgets it a minute later before she starts abusing her mum again.

Thank you and very motivating to hear about the uncle. The issue with my sister is that there was alway's an excuse, now it's the baby before it was our father before if was the stress of university. The good news is she is seeing a therapist but we just hope that she's telling them the truth otherwise what is the point. She also said to our mother today "I'm going to ruin everything you've got" and yet come Monday, she'll need our mums car for work and her house to support her and her child. I do hope she changes as my real concern is for my mums health but she's not planning on moving out anytime soon and I can only see it getting worse.

"Suffer on your own terms"

A starting point would be this "if you can't kill it or grow it don't eat it" or eat more whole foods and cut down on packaged meals with high sugar and saturated fats. Eat lot's of veg, fruit, seeds, nuts, beans (kidney beans etc) and cut down on refined sugar, high salt and high saturated fats like beef burgers, chips, bacon. Reading the label of 'good food' usually only contains a few ingredients, if any. Whereas processed food contains a huge list of unrecognisable addictives and ingredients and e numbers. When reading food labels look at the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) it highlights fats, salt and sugar is colours telling you if it's high or low in something (green being low and red being high) Also look at getting some multi-vitamin and omega 3 fish oils. Most people don't get the required amount from food for supplements can help.

Ever notice when you chase something, it gets further and further but when you stop and and decide to walk the other way, that something is suddenly in front of you? I've tried so many times to force the universe/people and it just doesn't work.

My new house mate just moved in, I wanted to make sure I chose the right person but of course, you never know until you start living with them. Right now my ego is very offended and need some advice. The last two people to move in have been pretty odd, and don't worry, I've asked myself "maybe it's me". My current housemate was worried that I was using their dish cloth to wash my plates, to which I responded I was using my own. We then carried on our fun conversation of learning languages, cultures and our landlord, no issues, right? Well it turns out they've now taken their dish cloth in their room to which I can only deduce is to prevent me from possibly contaminating theirs with sauce. (It's a fresh cloth) Both new and old housemate keep their 'valuable' kitchen products in their room in the event I may use a dish washer tablet of washing powder. I brought this up with them to ask their opinion to which the response was "Well if you pay for something you don't want the other person using it", I have my own products, it's a 2 bed flat not a 6 room hostel. "I'm a clean freak" she told me, doesn't want to use my plates or me use hers etc. So right now my ego feels offended, I know this feeling well, I want to right this wrong but at the same time, I want to just let it go, give the ego a good test. Do you approach said person or do you embrace the discomfort and continue to have fun conversations like nothing happened? It all seems so incredibly petty. Any similar situations?

Thank you guys, brilliant posts as usual and a nice mixture of approaches. I personally feel being 'direct' would go against me due to not being in full control (blood boiling, defensive, not processing what's coming out). I like the angle of taking their comments, smiling and letting it be, embracing the resistance and growing from it. Of course I wouldn't stop talking and the person would carry on insisting I stop. But as long as I'm in control of what I'm saying then job done. When I got off the coach he made another comment about talking too much, of course I bit. But this was a perfect time to smile and get off seeing as I didn't need to see him again.

I think I know the answer but wanted some opinions of two example of ignorant people. The pattern in both examples is "this person has made me feel and look stupid, I now have to rebuttal them in order to regain some respect" Ego at play. 1. I'm on a coach, it's early in the morning 5am and I get talking to the girl next to me, I'm aware it's early so we keep our voices down but the passive aggressive guy in front lowers his chair on my legs as a way of showing his disapproval of our talking, I ask him kindly re-adjust the chair and his response is "you need to stop jabbering" this immediately made me see red and I told him to move somewhere else. Rest of the trip he was huffing and puffing and acting like a child. What do you do in this situation? 2. I was doing 'extra' work on a movie and the extras were allowed access to the actors food tent, one of the extras approached the coffee van but the coffee lady completely ignored the extra's request for a drink. This is a long standing prejudice against extras, they get treated like crap and even though they were allowed access to the van, they were made to feel like scum. So how do you deal with this? Accept it for what it is and walk away with no drink or ask why she's acting this way? Both examples tell me the ego is being hurt real bad and wants to do something to numb the pain so it fights back. Should I have stopped talking on the coach? Does it show a weak character to 'give in'? Does it weaken my ego in a bad way? Thanks guys

Every few months I discover something else about myself/Life. First it was how my ego was causing certain emotions that I thought were natural but a few days back I've made my next discovery; When Life was going well for me i.e new gf, job, random cheque in the post, it was easy for me to be happy, help the old lady with her bags, see everything as beautiful etc, but when Life was bad then I experienced the opposite. I've realised that negative situations are what you really grow from, not the positive one's. If you can keep control in a bad situation i.e you lose your job, then the world becomes your's and you become unstoppable. If you can get through that then you take full control. You start not to enjoy positive situations because subconsciously you know it's a novelty, but should you take control of negative situations then you can enjoy positive one's fully. I was going to create this thread before but today I had a audition for a video game character which would have a been an amazing break, and I failed miserably but instead of beating my self up, I'm embracing it, that I had the chance to audition. It may feel fake to tell myself "I love myself" and "Well done for even going" but it's better than the alternatives. I need to embrace rejection, awkwardness, negatively.

I made a topic a few months back about troubles in making conversations with some people feel less awkward and I'm amazed at what I found; The reason why the conversations were awkward is because "I" was the one who would jump in, ask the questions and generally take control of a conversation to save any awkwardness. Making Life for the other person very easy. It all makes sense now. If you're confident and happy within yourself, you don't need to say anything if you have nothing to say. But there I was, jumping at the chance to close down any silences. Not anymore. As much as I wasn't a fan of the book "48 Laws Of Power" there's a great point which says something like "By not talking, the other people will feel the awkwardness and do anything to fill the silences, usually by saying some bullshit about their personal Lives" This is very true. How many times have you mentioned the weather? Or How you cannot wait for the day at work to end? With actual people I enjoy conversing with, there's no thought process to our conversation, it flows. I listen to other people's conversations, they're as bad as I was "Nice weather, how's your day, how's your weekend". When I now use the above with other people who usually conversation would fall flat, they have nothing to say, it's just that I was making them look like Shakespearean conversationalists by making myself look anxious and insecure. It's also fun.

Oops, I should have said "not conforming" It's doing what society expect that is the easy thing. Go to a 9-5, ask about the weather, don't do anything remotely dangerous i.e start a business. By the doing the opposite you're challenging yourself every time and growing I think everyone is pressured which is why we get these awkward funny small talk situations. For someone in that situation who doesn't want this, they can end the conversation but what I find I do, is carry it on for longer than necessary. Now if I don't feel like talking I'll end it. I'm trying to find Leo's video on something similar. Found it -

When you're in a situation that calls for a decision, the easy decision (I find) is usually the one that protects the fragile ego, the hard decision is the one that makes me grow. i.e my above example of asking about the weather, that's the easy route, the emotionally hard route for that moment (but beneficial) is smiling and moving along or keeping quiet because I genuinely have nothing to say, anything else and I'm conforming to society about niceties and lying to myself by ignoring true feelings. By staying true I grow as a person and stay true to inner emotions. Drastic I know. Edit: For me, I've wired my brain to taking the path of least resistance. Talking to someone I don't want to talk to 1. Easy route - talk to them 2. Emotionally hard choice is to not fuck around with small talk if I don't feel like it and to the and embrace the negative emotion from the hurt ego.

At that point in time, when I engaging with someone I have not a lot of interest in, I'll spurt out some random rubbish like "the weather" to overcome any awkwardness. But by doing what's emotionally hardest and there for most beneficial in this situation, I gain a lot more self respect and grow as a person. Even in a small encounter. It's usually the emotionally hard things that are true to us and feel most beneficial. Asking about the weather is easy, asking for an extra sausage with the chance of looking greedy is not (I eat a lot okay) but the later is much more beneficial and I grow from it.

That's definitely breaking the game ha. We're not programmed to react against that I guess. I just dislike when both of us are talking bullshit for the sake of niceties. The gym is a fine example "Hey, what are you working on today" I don't care what they're working on, so I'm not being true to myself. I also think what Leo says is very true "Do what's emotionally hardest" What's emotionally hardest is not asking someone how their day is when you don't care and just want to fit it. Emotionally hardest is to walk past with a smile, say hi then move along. If it's someone you're genuinely interested in you make time for them, anyone else is a distraction.

I think this is a great way for going out of your comfort zone, it takes no effort and you get real time feedback (That feeling you NEED to say something, anything to stop the awkwardness) I saw this on Buzzfeed the other day which made me laugh, it's so true. But it goes to show, we go against what we believe to make a situation less uncomfortable even though at the time it does feel like we hate ourselves, which cannot be good for the soul.

Doh. Well it gave me a smile, even if you did have to explain it.

I don't get it, please explain. I've read through my post a few times trying but I give up. Haha, what is it?

A good thing about this is you'll get most of your 5-a-day in one drink from different colour fruits, plenty of fibre, huge amounts of anti-oxidants and superfoods that would please the gods. If it wasn't for my small blender I'd be filling it up with much more. Banana is a must otherwise is tastes far too bitter with the cacao. Usually around 250kcal, more if adding protein powder. 200ml Coconut Milk 1x Banana 80g Frozen fruit (80g usually is 1 of your 5-a-day) 80g Spinach (or Kale, or both) 5g Turmeric 15g Cacao powder Sprinkle Of Cayenne Pepper/Cinnamon Chia Seeds Another quick one for you protein shake people. Just have flavoured whey with coconut milk, the milk adds a natural sweetness to it and it's incredible!

My Life at the moment isn't going great, I'm not sticking the routines and in some cases I'm sacrificing short term pleasure for long term pain (ok that one's a bit dramatic) but one thing I've noticed, for maybe the first time in my Life is there's a change. I'm still getting frustrated at the same things, I'm still procrastinating when I should be learning and I'm still spending money I cannot afford to spend. But there's a change, I feel more in control but not in a conscious way, I'm able to be mindful in stressful situations and see them for what they are. I'm able see the difference more clearly between feeling negative and positive and that I have a choice. I've been telling myself "I have a choice" in every situation and it helps. No longer am I falling into a pit of anger and dispair, because I have the choice to feel like shit or to not feel like shit. I was having a bad day at work today and wasn't able to sit in my preferred spot, for 10 seconds I was annoyed but then told myself "I have a choice" and it worked. I always have a choice, 1 year ago I didn't have that choice and would latch onto any emotion I could and be taken along for the ride. Something's different and it feels good, it feels like my Life isn't improving because something external has happened in my Life, it feels like all the reading, listening, meditating and wanting to grow have improved my Life by 1%, and I'm able to feel this 1%, it's not obvious but it's there and it's lingering, bad mood or good mood it's there and that's all the motivation I need.