NewKidOnTheBlock

I don't like it either. It gives me an eerie feeling, as if I'm slowly conditioning myself into a narcisist just by reading that all of my ideas are great and that I'm great whatever I'm saying, of course this is impossible seeing as narcisism is a genetic and early childhood conditioning sort of mental pathology, but regardless constant ego gratification is unpleasant. Even just for the fact that it is repetitive and boring, and doesn't challenge your ideas I think it is actually a positive thing that a lot of people are complaining about this, means we are not so doomed

If you tried to sniff out Pretty India in any slightly weirder post, you'd eventually go crazy

I never see women invading anyone's personal space, it's always men who do annoying weird shit like that. But I guess you are an interesting specimen to these women due to your bodily proportions, and since they know 100% they can get away with it, they're using that opportunity, maybe out of fascination, their way of showing friendliness, or even attraction. Can't say I don't understand them LUL

In my sizeable and comfy bed, enjoying the warm embrace of the blanket and pillow, living in a cute air conditioned appartment, life is not that bad. And with this thought, I shall make a visit to the dream world

I'm going to master my own psychology and spirituality, so that I can be as internally joyfull being alone, as I would be in a good company

Perhaps I'm just full of shit and basic, like any other man. Well... better to embrace it than deny it

Ability to be satisfied with being alone is the real strength and superpower. It's about time I start to cultivate it It's not nearly as bad as other people are making it out to be. The supposed negatives of it is mostly just societal brainwashing

I don't understand how we made it as a species up until this point, seriously. I can observe the inter gender alienation and contempt even amongst the people I know. How to even cope with this shit

I was sometimes wondering if there was a female equivalent of me somewhere in the world, and how she would perceive reality LOL not that you'd necessarilly fit that bill, of course, you have a different set of challenges, it's more like... if she was like me, just sort of derping throught life, going with the flow type shit, just letting the time pass doing very leisurely activities, sometimes feeling like I'm going on an autopilot as I'm talking with blank mind etc. LEL Well I don't know if I'm able to think in terms of vibe like that, but I definitely feel like an alien in there. Or as if I don't belong in there. Alcohol doesn't really help with that either, and the couple of times I was attempting to dance, the thoughts like "Why am I doing this, why are other people doing this, it's so weird" can't leave my head. Admittedly, it is pretty strange that we are doing it to be honest, especially in ugly places such as these. Just guaranteed there'll be at least couple of conficts per night, abysmal hygienic state of the toilets and the ear popping music with constant flashing of light LEL

This guy's self awareness and honesty are on another level, given his self admitted narcisistic mental condition. As is his inteligence. I enjoy watching all of his videos

There's a lot of mental growth ahead of me needed, but hopefully with time, I'll mature more and more. I'm getting somewhere, albeit by the pace of a snail

Dissagree. Men want to invest into one woman of their choosing and provide for her, while being appreciated for their effort (which includes sex). Yeah you could have sex with any woman just based on instinct, but that's not very fullfilling at all, seeing as you don't actually care about them I'd let women speak on what they want, but for my part that's what I'd want from a woman, along with her aligning with most of my worldviews and values, sharing one or a couple of the same hobbies with me (but having some of her own, having her own life), her not being promiscious and having more or less clean past, etc.

Or perhaps I won't hide it and keep it as it is. Can't pretend uglyness, messiness and negative emotions aren't part of reality

I will find hobbies that I may enjoy, start doing them for a period of a few months and once I estimate that they are truly enjoyable, even in solitude, I shall hide this journal and make another one, for a purpose of transparance, coherence. And beaty as well, seeing as I made this journal kinda messy and ugly

I feel like... I should start developing some hobbies in my free time. Maybe then, after some time I wouldn't feel as lost as I've always felt/am always feeling. The problem with that, of course, is that I don't really enjoy anything. Or, to be precise I haven't discovered anything I would enjoy at all. And I feel like... all hobbies are really just a means to the end, like, people use them to get friends, to fuck and to get money. Or they're trying to/would like that to be the case. Always felt kind of fake to me, in that way. But it's also completely logical and understandable, ofc However, idk, like... I wish I had something I could do that would fill up my days. Maybe I would start enjoying anything if I'd just keep putting in some effort, or maybe not. Either way, I'm feeling pretty neutral and apathetic about everything and really, always have felt like that, about most things Maybe I'll try some programming again, but this time on my terms, without pressure. See if I like it. If for nothing else, at least I can make my computer and other devices run more efficiently. Don't have to have some ambitious goals in that regard, yet. Ofc I can start going to the gym again as well. And idk what else. I can't really think of anything I can do that's not done in solitude that I could enjoy as well (gym is in that category as well), except going to the clubs or some shit, but that's always been a challenging enviroment for me. Like, I don't really fuck with the music, dancing, drinking or any other shit people be doing there. So like, I don't know what the fuck to do there. It always feelt awkward I don't even think it is possible for me to have some grandiose life purpose, like this site keeps advertising and gloryfying, not gonna lie. Just seems unrealistic at this point. But just hobbies which I would enjoy doing in solitude, that could be adverised to other people if need be, that would also enrich my life. Make it not empty. But they gotta be advertisable, that's the thing, both in the social and job market sense Not gonna lie, the only reason why I'm still here is that I more or less agree with the spiritual shit, with some caveats ofc. As there is really no way to not agree with it