NewKidOnTheBlock

He's been my enemy this entire time, and I'm starting to understand it

Eventually I am going to have to start approaching women. There is just no choice and no way around it really. This whole normie "meet someone throught mutual interests" thing is a crock of shit, because there aren't many interests that could be mutual in the first place, and you have to basically do the same shit you'd have to do at cold approach anyway, women are 100% passive always and, at the end of the day, I want them more then they want me. Yes, it is very annoying that we are working this way, but it's the fuckin truth. Especially since so much of the self esteem is tied to this fuckin BS, it's unbelievable. Man's whole worth

But you're making points with no substance, just some sweeping generalizations about Swedish men or whatever. And then you want to return to traditional gender roles when modernity clearly doesn't allow for it anymore and it's retarded. As if swedish men are the only group of people who are uncondident pussies, when clearly almost everyone is keeping to themselves nowadays. And who gives a shit how well off other men are anyway. Then you're for some strange reason choosing to dump shit on men with trauma, saying they're not men, whatever the fuck that even means. If you got the genitals you are a man. Everything else is just someone else's dumb opinion and interpretation of how you should behave in X and Y way

Have to stop taking people so seriously. They're just means to an end, at the end of the day. You are always simply seeking certain emotions from them. And you have certain expectations of how they should behave towards you. Not saying those should change. But I'll never bend over backwards to be popular with someone, never have and never will. If the consequence of that is a little bit of an internal pain, then so be it. I see this pain as inevitable, honestly, and never ending - not in a sense that the pain ia constant, but moreso in a sense that, there will always be times when people fail your expectations. And the result will always be discomfort. It is what it is. But not to worry. Everyone is replaceable, and I don't need (and never will) to kiss anyone's ass. Ever

You sound like a dickhead, ngl. Everyone agreeing with you as well. Not saying you necessarilly are one, but you sound like one

I think I'll get it, he doesn't care about shit like that either way. And if he will, I'll drag him to courts, I got no problems with that

Thinking of just trying to take it all, for myself, once the time comes. I certainly have a more righteous claim to the whole thing, not even gonna lie. Let's not pretend that it's not like that

I did not do anything today, but I don't particuliarly care. It's not so important to tick off stuff every day, just to have a general sense of progress in life. I don't believe in some David Goggins shit or whatever. Don't want to compare myself to others, I can chill and progress at the same time. It's especially annoying when you got some annoying retarded fuckin tasks to do, which you do not care for at all but have to do, they are like logistical bariers and bottlenecks in war, just annoying as fuck

A glass of milk a day keeps the veganism debate away

I'm on sum Bore-O-DMT type shit fr So what. Take it or leave it. Or fudge off

I should make my life structured like a job fr. Like, have that attitude about life in general scope. Not just a job giving life structure, but life giving life structure duuude. I'm on some trippy shit rn fr and I'm more sober than a nun at a rave fr

I want more income, obviously. I can start with putting in some focused, let's say... 2 hours a day every day, in the direction in which I believe I can grow. (I'll always be vague like this, not going to share anything specific. It's not important for the purposes of this journal anyway) I'm gonna do some simple (but difficult, obviously) calisthenic routine for the start, 1 hour a day would be sufficient And with inteligence/mental health - I can read a book/learn any skill for 1 hour and then write down stuff I'm gratefull for or some shit like that. Maybe affirmations? Yeah, some shit like that. I'll just put a ✅️ to each of these 3 categories given I'll actually complete them. In case I won't, or do some half assed BS or something... I'll go to gulag or something, idk. I'll have to kick myself in the ass somehow And I can do whatever tf I want with the rest of the time. Which I imagine is not going to be plentifull. Never mind. Perhaps it's for the better. Idle mind is... nah, I'm not going to try to be poetic

I'm going to try to make an actual use of this journal, by capturing completion of various good habits I'd like to posses, day by day. I can have all sorts of goals, aspirations, wishes, hopes, dreams or whatever else. But they don't mean anything if I just keep getting stuck in these strange behavioural loops and circles. I'm just emotionally and mentally exhausted most of the time, and so I need to start small. Perhaps, after a period of a few years (if those years indees will pass - never take anything for granted, especially not nowadays) I may look back at these journal sections and reminiscing of the (kinda, relatively) harsh begginnings I'd like to make progress in 3 areas - career (i.e. income), my fitness/diet and inteligence/mental health (I'm grouping them together, so as to acknowledge and highlight the compounding effects both of them have on each, can't have one without the other imo)

I just wish he wasn't born

Devolution is a better term for it, I believe. Serial monogamy is just a fancy way of saying hook ups Not sure what's best for 99% of people, as that's impossible to know. Some people shouldn't get near other people and maybe should be quaranteed LOL, never mind get into relationships. All I'm saying is that real monogamy (like, you get into relationship and you actually do your absolute best to stay there) is the only relationship system that really has the potential to work. For raising children, optimal division of labour, optimal focus of your mental, emotional and sexual energy, long term strategy against loneliness etc. Other options are just illusions