JKG

School: Now I will have no school for two weeks. The last week went well. On wednesday I had an easy math exam. We had four hours of time for the exam and I was done after two hours. I am such a genius! And yesterday I had a history exam which went well too. The text was pretty easy and i liked the politicians opinion. In each oft the four exams oft the last two weeks I was not nervous, at all. And meanwhile writing the exam I was relatively happy, content and it was even a bit fun. Holidays: Right now I am with my family on the way to Denmark. I have to spent seven hours in the car. I am listening to Jed McKenna and later maybe Leo. I wanted to do a bit oft self inquiry but my family is listening to a stupid audiobook and radio, which is pretty distracting. But thats simply the way it is. In Denmark I intend to do a lot of meditation, shadow work, self discovery, stretching and movement. I will shut down the Internet, because its such a distraction. From sunday after new video until the next sunday I will use my phone only in the airplanr mode. I will challenge myself to take short swims in the north sea. That will be a tough challenge. Denmark is cold and windy, therefore the sea will be horribly cold...

@Dragallur that would be so damn amazing.

@Dragallur it seems like a legit self inquiry session. For me its actually easier to write it all down. So my thought dont diatract me too much and i dont drift back into stories. You could also try out spiritual autolysis. Thats very similar to seld inquiry. You just try to find whats true until you know. And that process you'll write down too.

Final Values: I am done with the process of figuring out my values and wanted to write it down here. It will probably be funny to read them again in the future. I am sure that they will change in the future, especially the formulations of the definitions. I used the process from the life purpose course. 10 / 10 will mean how it would look like if I fully embody the value and x / 10 will mean how much I embody a value at the moment. 0 - 100, 5 - 95 or 60 - 40 will be about how whether the value is negative or positively motivated. 0 - 100 means that I am 100%-ly positively motivated towards the value, 60 - 40 means that I am 60%-ly positively motivated and 40%-ly negatively. I hope you get what I mean. Consciousness: Definition: I am totally aware of all of experience, enlightened and one with everything 10 / 10: I am one with everything, not a self, enlightened, aware of every single experience, infinite. I am able to meditate for days staight and practice consciousness for at least four hours a day. I am god. Embodiment: 1 / 10 Percentage: 5 - 95 Open-mindedness: Definition: I am open to every new idea and question my own believes 10 / 10: I am open to every new idea and hold onto no believes. I question all of my believes and am absolutely skeptic. But in the end I realize that no belief can be true and I know nothing. My knowledge graph is empty. I rather focus on direct experience than on believes. Embodiment: 3 / 10 Percentage: 0 - 100 Clarity: Definition: I know what I want, how I will get there, and have a plan 10 / 10: I know the prime directive and big picture of my life. I know what I want and how to get there. I have a strategic but adaptable plan on which I can execute. My subconscious mind is programmed for it. But I am clear about the fact that the plan is just a plan. I do not act upon it neurotically, it is just a guidance along the journey. Embodiment: 3 / 10 Percentage: 10 - 90 Understanding: Definition: I understand and know how reality, the self and my environment works 10 / 10: I understand and know how reality, the self and my environment works. No urgent or important questions are unanswered. I know how to live life. I have studied developmental theories, Ken Wilbers work, non-duality, psychedelics, self-actualization, mathematics and physics. Embodiment: 4 / 10 Percentage: 0 - 100 Contribution: Definition: I give value to people and help them to increase the quality of their consciousness 10 / 10: I experience great joy from helping people and being able to make them more conscious. They come up to me to help them. I have mastered the skill of explaining and teaching concepts. So I am able to guide people along their journey in life. I explain to people how to live life through self-actualization and non-duality. I am able to change their model of reality to the better. Embodiment: 1 / 10 Percentage: 0 - 100 Health: Definition: I am full of energy, move a lot, fast, and eat little high quality food 10 / 10: I am very active and work out for multiple hours each day. I am able to perform advanced bodyweight exercises (planche, front lever), athletic movements (one arm handstand, flips), and have great mobility (deep squat, over side split). I eat only one meal (raw vegan, many greens). I am fasting a few times a year and have detoxed a lot. I feel very energetic and need only little sleep. Embodiment: 4 / 10 Percentage: 0 - 100 Connection: Definition: I build deep relationships with few people and feel empathy and love towards everyone 10 / 10: I have deep relationships with few people. We listen to and help each other along our journey. We are extremely honest and can talk about everything. I love every being and feel connected towards them. Embodiment: 2 / 10 Percentage: 10 - 90 Freedom: Definition: I am a minimalist, and able to go wherever I want without obstacles or problems 10 / 10: I have only little possessions, which could all fit into a big bag. I am free from fear, limiting believes, attachments or addictions. I am free also from physical needs and am able to defend myself, so I could survive well in a crisis. I am independent and can go wherever I want, whenever I want. Embodiment: 1 / 10 Percentage: 10 - 90 Nature: Definition: I spend most of my time in nature and feel connected towards it 10 / 10: I live directly in nature, away from civilization and spend a lot of time outside. I live in harmony with my environment and am connected to all beings around me, I love them all. I am free from fear of wild animals or disgusting looking insects. I get my food directly from nature. I have no need for a house or a clean environment. Embodiment: 3 / 10 Percentage: 0 - 100 Productivity: Definition: I get my tasks done focused and efficiently without distraction 10 / 10: I work every day for at least an hour on my tasks, but therefore very focused and without distraction. I get my tasks done quickly, while I deliver high qualitative results. I learn fast and remember brilliantly. Embodiment: 5 / 10 Percentage: 10 - 90

I have meant that it's beautiful because looking at this picture brings me more in touch with my true being.

(Note: I don't like using the word teacher. I just don't find a better label for it. For me a 'teacher' is just some guy who helps and explains stuff to others. He is not superior to others) Teachers: Yesterday evening I thought about spiritual teachers. Those people are the ones which the world needs the most at the moment. They can reveal to society that the ego does not exist. And all those egos create all of those problems which humanity currently faces. People like Teal Swan or Eckhart Tolle are nice, but society needs also different people, people like Leo, Ken Wilber or Sam Harris which touch the ego side of the individuals, and show them the non-dual side of their being - this mixture of personal development and non-duality. Teaching: Yesterday I went to school earlier to talk with my best friend. We haven't talked alone with each other in a long time, and that was necessary. I recently showed her a video about inner child work. Her childhood was very bad. She grew up in a part of Asia, very blue and family based. Just by watching the video she cried, she has a lot of work to do, and has to get to know herself again. She is doing a good job. So she explained me everything she has found out, I listened and gave advices. Our relationship is very unique. We learn a lot from each other. I introduced her with Leo a long time ago, taught her basic principles... She is often asking for my opinion or help. With the time I realized that I want to help more people this way. I want to make more people more conscious. I want to guide people along their journey towards a better life or even Enlightenment. Such people needs the world...... Communication: I am a introverted person, and used to talk very little, in school, at home, to everyone. My communication skills are not very good. I am bad at explaining things. I cannot express what I am thinking into words. I rather think in terms of pictures and don't like using words. In the last two years that became better, but I still have deficiencies. So the problem is how to communicate my advices, knowledge, wisdoms, insights to other people. I even find it hard to put all my thoughts into a structured text here. Then I remembered from the life purpose course that it is necessary to develop certain skills. My zone of genius doesn't has to be communicating insights. The communication can become a skill. I will have to develop this communication skill in order to become some sort of teacher. And teaching my best friend could be a good way to practice - or even writing this here. My Love towards Mathematics...: But I have another passion next to knowing and discovering all those great insights. I always have loved mathematics, physics, computer science, reality... With the science stuff it is much more easy to make a living in this society. I still see there quite a few connections between non-duality stuff and maths stuff. I cannot express this good. Its a feeling. Non-duality is about explaining reality, maths can explain reality. Reality is beautiful - maths can be beautiful... Plan: Yesterday evening I came to the conclusion that I want to become a teacher. Firstly I have to become enlightened myself. And while I am doing that, I can develop my communication skills through trying to explain little insights or concepts from other spiritual people. But in 'real life' I will be studying maths, after finishing school next year. Maybe I will find a way to connect maths with non-duality. From time to time I will go to retreats or take psychedelics. After getting the degree I will probably have to work at a normal job, but help other people at the same time. Eventually I will become a 'successful spiritual teacher', so that I can live from teaching in some way. Maybe like Jed McKenna? I will have to work on formulating my life purpose out precisely. I am almost done with figuring out my values. I will do the rest work in the next two weeks - I will be on holidays.

Beautiful.

My biggest achievement was that I had a dream about having a lucid dream in which I flew over our house It's a really good idea to use the content of the dreams for shadow work. And one of my goals has always been to meditate in a lucid dreams. I've heard that Tibetan monks are doing the practice called dream yoga with the goal of being fully conscious throughout their dreams. Physics has also been one of my favorite subjects in 10th grade. It's still interesting but I've discovered that I liked physics that much because of the mathematics. Physics was for me something like applied mathematics. Now in 12th grade I have a different more boring teacher. Now math is rather my favorite subject although I feel very unchallenged. Last Christmas my father bought us telescope. In the winter we used to watch the at sky every evening. For a few months I felt like astronomy has been my life purpose. That has changed, but its still very interesting.

Your life seems very inspiring. Keep going

Yeah, trying... A few years ago I learned about lucid dreaming, worked on it for about 1.5 years with absolutely no results. Within that time I had quite a few breaks and somewhen finally gave up. Because lucid dreaming depends on your consciousness in the dreaming state, I will firstly increase the quality of my consciousness in 'waking' life. When I feel that it is the right time, I will start to focus on lucid dreaming again. I had the realization that lucid dreaming is just another experience. So why shouldn't I value the experience in waking life first? For how long do you practice lucid dreaming? How many lucid dreams did you have yet? How do you study physics? Are you at a university, school or do you study it just as a hobby?

When you talk about that you had a dream, do you mean a lucid dream or just a normal unconscious dream which you remembered from last night?

Values: I finally figured out my values. It feels very authentic. Consciousness - I am totally aware of all of experience, enlightened and one with everything Open-mindedness - I am open to every new idea and question my own believes Clarity - I know what I want, how I will get there, and have a plan Understanding - I understand and know how reality, the self and my environment works Contribution - I give value to people and help them to increase the quality of their consciousness Health - I am full of energy, move a lot, fast, and eat little high quality food Connection - I build deep relationships with few people and feel empathy and love towards everyone Freedom - I am a minimalist, and able to go wherever I want without obstacles or problems Nature - I spent most of my time in nature and feel connected towards it Productivity - I get my tasks done focused and efficiently without distraction Eeeeeegoooooo: Sometimes when I meditate (1.5h), I recognize that there is no sense of self/ego. It's gone and there are just all of these experiences and the voice in my mind talking, but no self. Then when I 'wake up' from my meditation and eventually get out of my room, I get bombarded with all these noises of the television, radio, music from my family. What a crazy world. What a crazy society. All your motivations stem from your ego. But the ego is not there. If they'd just know that... Habits: Everyday I just want to get one tiny step closer towards better habits. Today it was fasting until 4:30pm. That felt great.

Movement Inspiration: Well, I am happy that I can balance a handstand rarely for 10s.

Happiness: Yesterday evening after dinner I sat down on my couch and worked on my values. I became so fucking happy, loving and grateful. I am grateful for my family (for a high living standard, good food, a huge garden, money; I love them; they serve me as negative role models), for humanity (no war at the moment, great intellectuals, technology),for my best friend, for Leo (he made my life so much better, thanks Leo), for the Internet (I learned so much from You Tube)... I am sure about that my future will be great. I have confidence in that everything will work out well. I will be able to become really good at my life purpose. I will become enlightened, eventually. I will create myself the best habits and routines. I will die happy. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Love. Love. Happiness. Laughter. Thank you. Thanks to everybody. It's infinite. It's absolutely infinite

Consciousness self assessment: I watched the new video "low quality vs. high quality consciousness" twice today, and wanted to look where I am at. I will be answering the questions Leo gave us: How do I feel on an hourly basis: That's different. Throughout the week when I am in school I am not super happy. It feels like the negativity of the people in school gets projected upon myself. But that's not true. I just am negative because it's a habit of mine to be negative in school. I am not as negative as most of the people, I just often complain about teachers and students just to have something to talk. On Thursdays I am the most negative because I have to spend 10 hours there and when I get home I am pretty pissed of. But at home I am relatively happy compared to my family members. I enjoy working out, meditating, developing myself, stretching... But when I have to do homework I just want to get it done quickly. For example today I had to learn thousands of history facts about the time after world war one. I didn't wanted to do that. Today after I have watched the new video and have had lunch, I was so happy. I was just totally content and satisfied. From time to time that happens after my meditation, or just randomly. Sometimes I also have to just laugh about reality. -> on average I am more happy than most of the people I know, but I have a lot of potential especially in school How loving am I? Sometimes after meditation I am very loving. But throughout the day I am not very loving, but also not hating, just neutral. Sometimes I feel a lot of love towards my sister and mother. Yesterday evening I did shadow work and started to love myself a lot, and some other people too. -> I am not very loving, but when I am more conscious I love unconditionally How fearful am I? I am not fearful. I don't fear an upcoming war, crisis, homelessness... But I have a little phobia of dogs, spiders and disgusting insects like an earthworm. How intellectually open am I? I am pretty open-minded about everything. I am just a little bit dogmatic about veganism, but that is becoming less and less. How well do I govern myself? I have good habits with sports, cold showers, school work, cleaning, meditation... I am able to handle the basics well. But for a long time I am having problems with my eating habits and Internet habits. Almost everytime that I have to overcome huge emotional labor I am having problems. I am not able to meditate longer with pain, or overcome food cravings. I will be working on that! -> I am able to handle the basics, but not good when I have to overcome emotional labor How noble are my motivations? I don't really know what my motivations are. I am just trying to get good habits. My motivations are not money, sex, appreciation, material success... I want to reach Enlightenment and this higher self happiness. I want to have a positive impact on the world and on other people, although I don't know how to do this exactly. -> my motivations are pretty noble, at least I think so I don't really identify myself with the characteristics of low quality consciousness, just a tiny bit. But I do identify myself with some of the high quality consciousness characteristics: focused on direct experience over believes, valuing learning and growing, aknowledging that I have not the highest consciousness, big picture understanding. Conclusion: I am more conscious than most of the people I know around me. I see how I have developed over the last two or three years and how much my consciousness has grown. But there is a lot of potential open for huge amounts of growth. I will especially have to work on my happiness in school and self governance.

Haha, thanks man. The ego is happy now. It's happy that it's "further along the path than the clingers"

Thank you for summing up the last years of my life. It seems like I'm not the only one with that problem But what I found out is that when you start to increase your consciousness through meditation, you will see some results after one or two years.

I am not 100%-ly sure about my zone of genius yet, but it is something about bringing information together into concepts about reality/experience and being open-minded. An example for this could be the model which Ken Wilber has created or Spiral Dynamics. But my problem is that I am not sure about how to communicate these kinds of information and concepts to other people. It would be useless to come up with the concepts just for myself, without contribution. The ordinary attempt to contribute to humanity would be teaching the concepts just like Ken Wilber, Leo or other teachers/gurus. But I don't like teaching. I am really bad at explaining things verbally. And I also really dislike writing. How should I communicate my results? What should be my ideal medium? My zone of genius is to come up with the concepts and not no communicate concepts. Or should I just learn how to write and explain things? Do you have any ideas?

You might not be ready to meditate for 1 hour a day, but you are certainly ready to do nothing for 5 minutes. Please just try it. Cooking, eating, watching informative videos, reading... I'd rather watch some informative and entertaining videos like documentaries. Through those you can at least learn something. What about watching documentaries about controversial topics to train your open-mindedness?

Ego wants to have an Enlightenment experience: Everytime I read here posts about Enlightenment experiences from other people here my ego becomes jealous. Ego: "All these people haven't worked as much towards Enlightenment as much as I did. I meditate now for almost two years. I should have the Enlightenment experience rather than those people... I never have extraordinary experiences. I am not able to have lucid dreams despite working on lucid dreaming for 1.5 years. I didn't have any lucid dreams, and other people just have lucid dreams randomly. I am not able to have lucid dreams nor Enlightenment experiences. That's so unfair. I want to have those experiences!" Something similar happens everytime I hear about peoples Enlightenment experiences.

Inner Child: This morning I had plenty of time and wanted to do shadow work. I found the process 'Inner Child Healing'. I wrote a little conversation with my inner child. I found out that it is sad that I am always busy with my stupid tasks (working out, stretching, school work, meditation, internet), and never in the present moment, here and now, spending time with the inner child. That basically means that I should enjoy more the present moment, because nothing else is there and the results out of the future aren't there yet. This mindset changed the rest of my day. I acted much more slowly, more present, aware, open, loving... A very pleasant feeling and attitude. It reminds me of the video about lifestyle minimalism. Movement: I had a lot of time today. So I spend 2.5 hours moving my body around. I trained the handstand, cartweel... I used my new training plan, which I really like. My strength workout is much more intense with this plan. And then I stretched my legs a lot. I see how stiff I am. I have no problem with the front split, but am like 15-20cm away from a side split. Patience is the key. His morning I found an impressing video: Interesting Interviews: While I was stretching I listened to an interesting and mind changing interview: If you want to listen to the whole interview on London Real. It's worth it. He made me even more interested in taking psychedelics in one or two years. Another interview I listened to one or two weeks ago: I like this guy from London Real, and the interviewed people seem to be very interesting. Anger: Today I read a great quote from "The Teachings Of Don Juan": I recognized that I get angry occasionally for example when my family interrupts me while meditating or when a stupid friend of my sister visits her although I wanted to meditate in the garden. This means that I am too attached to my meditation and find it too important. Exams: The chemistry exam yesterday went well. It was 4.5 hours long... I didn't felt nervous before it at all, not even the days before. And although I couldn't answer all questions perfectly I don't feel bad about it. It seems like I do not care that much about grades anymore. That's a good sign. I see how much other people in school are caring about their grades. That seems so silly to me now. I feel like I want to work with the life purpose course again and finally figure stuff out.

Become more aware of your body through mindful movement. Do bodyweight strength exercises, stretching, yoga or 'coordination exercises' like a handstand, cartwheel or locomotion. Have fun with your body. Enjoy the process of exercising rather than going after goals. resources and examples for bodyweight movement:

Internet time: In the last post which got deleted with the server crash I wrote that I want to stop wasting time on the Internet. I wanted to only use it on Sundays for the new video and for school work. That did not work out at all. I will allow myself to use my computer once a day for one hour straight. Then I will have to shut it down again. This way I will have to consciously decide on which sides I will spend my time. On my phone I will deactivate the Internet, and if I need it I will turn it on for like 10 minutes. The good think of the server crash was, that I didn't spend too much time on this forum. I think I will journal my time spend on my computer and my phone to keep myself responsible. Journaling: In the last week I wrote almost nothing in my journal, neither in this one nor in my private one. I used to write everyday in my private one since April 2015. But thats okay. What is going on in my life: reading "The Teachings Of Don Juan" by Carlos Castaneda - getting a new perspective on psycedelice learning for my chemistry exam, and three other exams coming up in the next two weeks working out a lot, stretching and researching about bodyweight movement frustration with meditation Leo's new videos: Every Sunday I am excited to get to know what the new video is about. I always want it to be about an Enlightenment or advanced personal development topic. If the video is about such a topic I am happy. But everytime I do almost nothing with it, I do not implement it into my life. Once Leo said that you should take massive action from each video. Well, I take almost none. I do not need more Enlightenment videos from him. I still have a lot of action to take from every other video. For example I hate the midfulness meditation and neti neti method because I always get distracted, or I hate strong determination sitting because it is so painful. Why don't I use these hints and work with these methods, rather than waiting for a new video to get published expecting a method that works instantly? Now I will shut my computer down, learn chemistry for like three hours, work on my body for like two hours, shower extremely cold, and then eat while watching the new psychedelic video.

Do something that will make yourself just a little bit uncomfortable like wearing a shirt which you don't like that much but still looks acceptable. Build yourself up slowly to wearing clothes that most people don't like at all (like a neon green shirt). And later do other things that will make you a bit more uncomfortable. This is the way I used and am still using to stop caring what others think of me. And with the time I lost my shyness more and more, because shyness is in a way caring too much about the opinions of others.

Moving in nature: I love the end of summer. Yesterday I picked up thousands of apples in our garden and sorted some. It took me like three hours but I kind of enjoyed it. Now my back is sore. Today I spend like two hours working out outside barefoot. I was on my slack-line and tried out new tricks. I practiced the handstand, crow pose, rolls... I did negative pull ups, half L-sits, planks, horse stance, push ups... And later while watching Leo's new video I stretched like hell for 40 minutes. I am really pleased by my health routine of today. Enlightenment: In the last two or three weeks I have not meditated really much. Almost no session was one hour long. But thats okay. A few days ago I stated trying Zazen again, counting up until 10 with every inhale. And when I recognize that I drift away with my thoughts I begin again with 1. It is very rare that I get to 10, but when I do I feel very concentrated. I began to ask myself questions like "what is knowledge?" or "how can I be certain about anything?". I really like doing that when I find the time. Today I did the 3-2-1-process and wrote like two pages full about my father, which I will not share here - to personal. It was not pleasant but good. I have to do much more of this. Every evening when I lay down in bed I hear Jed McKenna's audiobook about "Spiritual Enlightenment, The Damnest Thing" until I get to tired. I like his way of teaching. Because of him I stated doing Spiritual Autolysis. Life Purpose: I programmed quite a few fractals in the last week and I am learning new things. Time Management: I want to spend so much time on health stuff, Enlightenment stuff and inner work, life purpose work, learning stuff... But it is even hard to get everything I want done on the weekends. I need to prioritize and cut out more distractions. In two weeks the exam phase will begin. So on the next weekend I have to begin learning for chemistry... Even less time. What I get done I should get done, what I don't get done shouldn't get done. Everything should be the way it is.