JKG

@Dragallur I knew that you would greatly benefit from the book of not knowing. Good work! Thats hilarious

Low Energy I am back from university again, and really low in energy again, like on those long school days where I have to stay in school until 4 or 6pm. When I study or work, I will probably everyday will come back home such late. Oh god, I don't want that at all. After all those lectures, classes or hours of studying and working, all the energy is sucked out of my system. Then I just need to relax for a few hours through watching more or less useless videos and eating. And when I am done with that my digestive system needs all the energy to digest all of this food. Although I would have the time to work out, study, meditate, read ect I am not properly able to because of the low energy and tiredness. My stomach is so full of food, that it is very uncomfortable. I can understand all of those people who come back from school, university or work and just follow the path of least resistance - no sports, no further education, no consciousness work, just pure easy entertainment. I don't want that at all. I wanted to go running after all this university stuff, but I didn't had the energy to do it. I could have easily, but my will power was so low. I just wanted to stay inside the warm house, eat and watch useless videos. I could meditate now, but I don't have the energy to concentrate on anything now. I could do school work, but I don't have the energy now. For me, at the moment, the most important "tasks" in life are meditation/contemplation, working out/moving, research/study/education/reading and eventually creating. How could I possibly become happy or move forward in life when I don't have energy for that. I need energy, alertness, a clear and calm mind, silence & solitude, free time, nature, good nutrition. I need to build myself a life with these qualities. This is what makes a high quality lifestyle for me. How to get more energy Eating - Controlling my eating habit. I eat so much and it sucks so much of my energy. My body is digesting food all the time, so I am tired. I need to give my body time to regenerate, without food. Intermittent fasting is perfect for that, but in the last three or four days I didn't follow that, and so felt less energetic. I generally have to eat less, even in the 6 hour window in which I normally eat. I also need to eat more raw food like I also did in the last time. But in the last couple of days - again - I ate much more cooked food. I need to get back to that. Detoxing my body. When I have handled my eating habit, I would like to do some fasting periods like eating nothing for one or two days on a regular basis. Maybe juice fasting, water fasting, or eating little food for a week. I need to get those toxins out of my body to clean my body and therefore get more energy. But thats is firstly just a plan for the future. Spending time outside. In the last couple of days I was a lot inside, in warm but fuggy rooms. I want to spend my breaks in school or later at university mostly outside if thats possible. Clean air is important for a healthy body and energy. Moving throughout the day. I don't want to sit around all day like I often have to in school and later at university. I want to combine that with fresh air. I could go for walks in parks or try to stand rather than sitting when I study. The lymphatic system which is responsible for cleaning up the blood and getting toxins out of the body or something like that, needs to get activated through movement. (I could stand now at my standing desk, but I have so low energy that I just want to sit stupidly around. Exercise. If possible everyday, at least a little bit. Optimally outside with fresh air and now in the winter as a cold exposure. Letting blood get pumped through the system and stretching out this stiff body. Cold showers. Every day. Meditation. At least do nothing. Letting the monkey mind wander around until it has released all its repressed expressions. (You see, as I went down this list, my energy got lower and lower. I have no motivation for writing much sophisticated stuff anymore. I just want to sleep, or watch YouTube videos) Energy is like a vicious cycle. If you have low energy, you will most likely do things that will rob more energy from you. But if you get out of this cycle, it is more likely that you will make your body and mind more energetic. Now that I am in low energy and normally have higher energy levels, I value higher energy levels so much more. I need to get back to my usual high energy habits again. That is so important for my growth. If I chose to study, I definitively need to handle my energy levels. But if I would take the gap year and do wwoofing, I would naturally have high energy levels, working outside, in nature, freely, with much free time. "Intuition, I trust in you. You will guide me towards making the right choices at this time. The future will turn out great, if I just trust you and follow your advice. Thanks."

I know. Thats what I like so much about journaling. Take a look at weather balloons or other footage from high altitude which aren't taken by a fish eye lens or by NASA. Looks pretty flat, without curvature. Such a test with a ruler could be rather subjective. Is the ruler really aligned with the horizon, isn't it shaking, don't you "imagine" these additional few millimeters in the middle just through the placebo effect? Well, I don't know. I have not experienced earths flatness nor roundness. I have not done any of those tests and at the moment have not the possibility to do try it out for myself. Maybe the day will come.

I don't know what to do - Which path will be the best? Today and tomorrow there is/was open house at the local university where I consider studying at. Today I wasn't in school but instead went there with my father, tomorrow again. I got dragged into this world of career, academics, money... I was in a lecture about telecommunications, physics and spoke to a guy who is a professor in something like electrical engineering. So now I am thinking about studying electrical and informational technology/engineering, informational and communication technology/engineering or computer science with electrical technology as a minor subject. My father studied electrical engineering at the same university and now wants me to do the same. He would prefer me to study information and communication technology and rather not computer science. He gives me all kinds of advice about careers, which subjects were useful for him... He could even organize me an internship easily at a company which he cooperates a lot with at his work. My mind gets into thinking that a degree would be nice for certainty and security in this money based world. I could develop my skills in these three to five years of university and tackle the more basic personal development stuff like productivity, building a strong work ethic, learning, building good social and communication skills, going out of my comfort zone, becoming charismatic, time management, habits... My father would buy me a car, I would drive every morning to university in this car (about 30 minutes), go to lectures, study, solve problems with other students... And eventually I would get home, get into traffic jam, work out, meditate, read a bit, eat, go to sleep... and then to it all over again - for 5 fucking years. In the semester breaks I would have to study for exams, have practical courses, and a few weeks of more free time where I could meditate more. For a few semesters I could study abroad, somewhere in Europe. This daily routine does not look that nice. It would be like now in school, just more demanding, around not that stupid but still negative people. Today just after two lectures and driving on the highway and also in the traffic jam (I didn't drive on the highway myself for more than six months) I am exhausted. It is like information overload in my brain. I just want to shut up, relax, watch easy entertainment and stuff food into myself. I have not that much energy left to do something productive. What is about my life purpose? Is this just my ego demanding for security? Or is there at least a little bit of intuition? Is it strategic to firstly get a degree and then focus on the life purpose and Enlightenment? What should I do? What happened to my inspiration to take a gap year first? I would love to see into the future, to now be better able to make this fucking decision. I already thought this way a few years ago, but now it is different, I have to decide soon. And what happened to my considerations of studying maths or physics or a combination of those with computer science? And what is about the conspiracy theories I researched about recently? They tell that there is this elite which wants to control us. Do I just get controlled by this elite through society? Is society demanding me to study because of this elite? Do I get controlled? Do I need this certainty and security which I eventually get through this degree? Shouldn't I just fuck about societies opinion and pursue in some way my life purpose and just pursue Enlightenment? Or might my role be to make the people in this field of engineering more aware about the larger picture of life? My brain needs time to process all these information. Then I need to do some visualization and follow the pre-mortem technique plan, which I created for exactly this moment when I consider just to go studying directly. Aaaaahhaaaahaawwwaawawaahahahahwah, just fuck it.

So you experienced earths curvature?

Aaah. Now I know what the sun glasses in the music video mean. I have to watch the movie "They Live." I like the phrase "They Live, We Sleep."

17/01/17, Tuesday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 3 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 3 Eating without distractions for 5 minutes - Streak 2 breakfast (7:30am) buckwheat porridge buckwheat sprouts (125g dry mass) 9 dates 2 bananas tablespoon of forest honey tablespoon of cacao powder (very very sweet) lunch (3pm) salad 1/2 Chinese cabbage 1/2 avocado 2 tomatoes cucumber fruit plate 1 orange 1 pear 2 apples limited nuts and seeds dinner (6pm) soup (3 plates) potatoes carrots turnip spelt noodles taste neutralizer - 1 apple What I noticed I used to have the habit of meditating in the morning and then thinking just about whether I will eat breakfast or not and what I could eat for breakfast. That was in a phase where I wanted to make intermittent fasting a habit and ended up almost everytime eating breakfast. This happened this morning again. I ate the breakfast without distraction in the living room while contemplating a little bit. "Who eats? Who experiences this delicious food? Where does it go?" I ate lunch late because I was running after school. That was totally fine and good because the "eating-break" between lunch and dinner was not so long. What will I do tomorrow eat breakfast, again mindfully Did I challenge myself too much? No. As usual I still have the desire to eat, but it gets less.

Confused

Both. The school system was alright at the time when it started. At the time of industrialization it worked out well and its purpose was just to "produce" those not very qualified industry workers. But now we clearly know that this way of teaching in school is everything but not optimal. This most likely has already been recognized by the government. If the government would be concerned about it, they would have changed it. They have the resources to make such a change happen pretty quickly. The ordinary person does not think critically about the school system due to low consciousness. And the purpose of the school system is still to produce just easy workers.

17/01/16, Monday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 2 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 2 Eating without distractions for 5 minutes - Streak 1 breakfast small "energy" smoothie 1 banana 2 apples flax seeds ginger some powders lunch salad 1.5 chicory roots radicchio tomatoes cucumber 1/2 avocado fruit plate 1 orange 1 pear 1 persimmon 1 can of kidney beans and 1 can on chick peas limited nuts and seeds dinner oat meal oats (150g) raisins (50g) 1 banana 2 apples 1 mango 2 teaspoons of forest honey cornflakes taste neutralizer - 10 grapes What I noticed I again wanted to try out eating a breakfast and what the stimulating powders (matcha, maca, green coffee) would do to me. I didn't really noticed anything, just that I felt pretty full. Intermittent fasting, again, feels much better in the morning. it was kind of hard to eat for 5 minutes without distraction. Money mind was going around. I think I will add this to my habit list. And when I have reached a streak of 21, I will increase the time steadily. I had this craving to eat cans of kidney beans and chick peas for a while now. Today I finally ate it. It was tasty, and I was really full afterwards. I ate oat meal for dinner because my mother was away, I could make dinner for myself, I didn't wanted to stand long in the kitchen preparing food, and I had this craving too for a while now. Two cravings "neutralized" in one day. I am really full now, but still want to eat more sweet or salty stuff. I need to get used to it. What I will do tomorrow eating for 5 minutes without distraction intermittent fasting not eating the nuts and seeds after lunch. That makes no sense because then I am already full. Did I challenge myself too much? No. In the breaks between eating I was mainly in school. And after the meals I was always pretty full. I now still want to eat but thats okay. I'll go meditating, then it will be no problem.

Spontaneous Thought about the School System The school system just wants to numb us, the next generation down. They want us to concentrate on getting good grades, and just having some relatively useless hobbies in our free time, all to distract us from doing the research we have to do. They want us to become so fixated on good grades, a good degree, a career, money, a family... So we have not much energy left in our free time to question and to really grasp what is being played here.

Back to Enlightenment For about the last month I was not that interested in pursuing Enlightenment. I didn't wanted to meditate for that long. I rather wanted to read, work with my emotions and so forth. A lot of stuff came up and a hell lot of resistance. I learned from it but am not able to go further that path at the time - at least I think so, it might be also just an excuse. The resistance it too big. I cannot be radically honest yet. In the last couple of days I came back to Enlightenment more. I meditated more - yesterday about 3h, today 4h or more without the intention. I am ready to do neti neti and self inquiry again. I came up with questioning external reality - todays video was therefore like the perfect summary and addition to what I was observing lately. I have set some priorities. Working out and a basic level of meditation are the foundation of my day. Then I also have to go to school (only 12 weeks left!) and study for the final exams (in about 4 months). And in all my left, I will meditate or contemplate more and work on organizing my gap year. But I still have to spend time eating and distract myself out of habit. But all of this is just a little plan, a guideline. Intuition is here the boss. WWOOFing I am currently so inspired to make this gap year happen. I have watched a bunch of videos about wwoofing (working on organic farms around the world, in exchange for food and a place to stay). This is like the perfect thing for me now. I can then work on spirituality, what to do with my life and figure out my true life purpose. Now I will "just" have to find a way to present this to my parents - this means that I will have to find arguments, work out a rough plan and practice presenting it to them. Then I will have to organize everything - buying the membership and contacting a couple of farms. I also did a pre-mortem on that. If I will get distracted (by materialism, money, parents, university) I need to visualize my big picture, the positive aspects of wwoofing and the negative aspects of directly going to university, build my vision and work on finding my true life purpose (through re-doing the life purpose course (already started)), and rewatch some of Leo's videos (How to Harness your Intuition, Bold Life Changes). I think about doing it in Germany or the UK at the beginning. Maybe I might buy a flight to some warmer places in winter (Hawaii, Thailand, Florida, Australia??). So excited. Here are some impressions and inspirations for myself: Changing my training routine

Really?

17/01/15, Sunday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 1 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 1 lunch (1:15pm) little "energy" smoothie 1 apple 1 banana coconut drink ginger some powders (matcha, maca, green coffee) huge fruit plate 2.5 apples 1 big pear 1 big orange 1 big persimmon buckwheat porridge buckwheat sprouts (125g dry mass) 2 bananas 8 dates coconut drink 2 tablespoons cacao powder 2 teaspoons forest honey limited nuts and seeds snack (while waiting for dinner to be ready, to contemplate) 4 grapes cucumber 1 tomato dinner (6:30pm) stuff from the oven spaghetti pumpkin 1 beet root a bit of olive oil cooked root vegetables 2 carrots 2 parsnips tominambur "taste neutralizer" - 1 apple What I noticed Everyday after dinner I have this urge to eat something sweet to neutralize the taste of the dinner a little bit. I don't like it to have a taste from something not sweet in my mouth for too long. Everytime I used to eat some dried fruit like a hand full of raisins immediately after dinner to neutralize it. Now that I am "not allowed" to eat more snacks after dinner, this kind of became a problem because of this urge. To make it myself a little bit easier I will allow it myself to eat a "taste neutralizer" to neutralize the taste in my mouth. This can be a raw fruit like an apple, a few grapes, a pear or something along those lines. I still ate the nuts and seeds at the end of my lunch although I was totally full. Why? It was cool to contemplate while eating. "Does the tomato still exist, although I don't see it, just feel it inside my mouth?" When I prepare food, I usually snack a lot of it. I might try to eat as little in the kitchen as I can, to not unconsciously overeat myself. It was hard to eat so slow that the whole lunch lasted for the whole video (50min) I firstly wanted to eat dinner without watching videos. As dinner was ready I had the urge to watch videos... I ended up watching vlogs... What I will do tomorrow eat lunch for 5 minutes mindfully without distraction. Just 5 minutes Did I challenge myself too much? It was doable. But still I desire to eat oat meal now.

My Intuition came up with an idea. I know that my throat chakra is pretty blocked. I don't like speaking much. I cannot really express myself or explain stuff. But I need these communication skills. So I should practice them. And what is a better way than just talking in English about stuff that just comes into my mind. And then uploading it to soundcloud. I had this idea already a few months ago but never did it. But now that my Intuition came up with it, I almost directly acted upon it. I just talked something and made sounds with my mouth. I expect no one to listen to this stuff

17/01/14, Saturday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 0 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 0 lunch (1:30pm) rice with vegetables (1 plate) limited nuts and seeds "dinner" (4:30pm) green smoothie 2 apples 1 banana 1 blood orange ginger kale coconut drink big salad green lettuce 2 small chicory roots a bit radicchio a big orange half a mango snacks walnuts (while cracking them) cashews dried fruit 9 dates dried mango dried pineapple 3 hands or raisins many pickled cucumbers What I noticed after the dinner I had cravings. So I made the first excuse of cracking walnuts, snacking a few of them and counting this as a part of dinner. after I was finished with cracking walnuts I still wanted to eat. I knew that if I would snack more, I would break my streak of "Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack." I even did a mini meditation on that (in the kitchen). But I still made the excuse because I thought "I would have this craving for the rest of the evening and wouldn't be able to do anything productive." I forgot the advice from the video "overcoming addiction." I was just running away from my inner demons. I should have sat there and let the fire of craving purify me. I ate these snacks very quickly and just indulged them. Not worth it at all. And later I was again in the kitchen, saw that there stood a glass of pickled cucumbers and I snacked a lot of them. Almost half a glass. I just throught "fuck it, the streak is already broken." I still have the craving now. I would just love to make myself just a huge bowl of oat meal. AWRRWWAWARWARWAAA I didn't eat any meal very slow and mindfully. I just didn't wanted to. I wanted to indulge. I thought of being dishonest and not resetting the streak. What I will do tomorrow eat my lunch slowly while watching Leo's new video. I will try to eat so slow that it will last for the whole video. eat nothing after dinner Did I challenge myself too much? It wasn't much more challenging than the last days. But I was somehow "not in the mood" to withstand the desire.

17/01/13, Friday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 4 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 4 breakfast (7am) green smoothie 4 apples 1 banana kale some powders lunch (1pm) salad with greens, chicory root and some fruit 2 apples with 2 beet roots and apple cider vinegar limited nuts and seeds dinner (6pm) black lentils with Brussels sprouts a glass of coconut drink What I noticed After the breakfast I felt very full. I like it more to have a empty stomach in the morning. So I will switch back to intermittent fasting. I handled the break of eating between lunch and dinner without a snack because I was in school, meditated and drank tea. I forgot my visualization about the eating habit in the morning. I was very attempted to snack after dinner because I was still in the kitchen cleaning and later had to prepare fruit and vegetables for my sister. I almost gave in. Normally I would have made myself another plate with food. What I will do tomorrow not eating breakfast again eating one meal slower without distraction Did I challenge myself too much? It was okay and just the occasion ofter dinner was challenging. I noticed something while observing other people eat. They just put their food into the mouth, chew it a few seconds and then just swallow it. The taste of the beautiful food just stays in the mouth for a few seconds and can never get appreciated. After swallowing it one will never experience and taste the food again. So why do we eat so fast in our society? Why do we prepare tasty and good smelling meals when we just experience it for a few seconds? This makes so little sense - especially when I look at my father who just has the food in the mouth for about 5 seconds. I am probably not much different. But I want to slowly start eating slower and appreciate the food more. And I changed the name of the first habit to "Eating only three meals and nothing in between." That is still perfectly fine.

slow down

I didn't expected that from this little list of what I eat everyday But cool. I developed this mostly vegan diet over the course about three years now. The progress was slow. I don't want to imagine what I ate at that time anymore. Spiritual ego: "Ha J, you are an inspiration to others. You are so superior and developed."

17/1/12, Thursday Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 3 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 3 big green smoothie 4 apples 1 banana ginger kale powders big oat meal 1 banana 1 apple oat meal - a lot couscous porridge mix corn flakes honey coconut drink potatoes with Chinese cabbage limited nuts What I noticed I desired food all day. I did intermittent fasting until 6pm. I felt horrible. That was not a good idea. I already craved food in the morning because I resisted eating more yesterday evening. I will not do this again in the near future. I was cold all day. Maybe because of the lack of food or the lack of movement or the cold outside I even desire food now although I was so full about 1.5 hours ago. What I will do tomorrow? maybe I will eat breakfast to see low I feel then Did I challenge myself too much? Yes. I didn't was attempted to eat because I was in school all day. I could have bought something in the city but I was able to not to. But my mind...

Bad Days There are these days when you wake up and think: "I don't want to get up. I want to stay in my warm bed. I am so tired. I don't want to meditate. I don't want to do yoga. I don't visualize my dream life. I just want to stay here and do nothing. I don't want to go to school. Oh hell, in 12 hours I will finally come back from school. This day is so stupid and wasted. I just want these 12 hours to be over." Why can't I be like an ordinary person who just follows the path of least resistance, the path of the most possible comfort. That would be so easy and comfortable. Then I wouldn't have to deal with all this resistance, uncertainty, release of emotions. I could just follow the crowd. I did intermittent fasting until 6pm. I had the whole day the desire just to eat. My emotions were mostly negative or bored or unmotivated... Almost all the time I thought about coming home and just EATING. The whole day was wasted. I learned nothing in school. I just sat there, lived, breathed, was annoyed by negative, stupid people... Well, that could be enjoyable spiritually, but I was so negative too, with a low blood sugar level I think... I was cold all day, frezed around and just wanted to get something to warm my hands... And then as I drove back home on my bike through the cold my anger about school charged up and was totally annoyed and easily irritable... My father was loud "teaching" my sister bla bla bla. I just ate. I just spent two hours with just preparing and eating food and watching easy entertainment videos. And then I was full. I cannot imagine how other people can live their lives everyday like this. This has to be soo horrible. I just want my mind to shut up. More Conspiracy Theories I don't want to believe anything. At about 1:03:30 they begin to speak about conspiracy theories. But why do they have this "hypnotic" music all the time in the background? And I just did a little research about the reptilian elite theory. Weird. "Reality" probably is not the way that is seems to be. Something has definitely to be true about any conspiracy theory.

17/1/11 Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 2 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 2 lunch (1pm) salad green lettuce, radicchio, fuit green smoothie 3 apples 1 banana kale some powders limited nuts and seeds snack (6pm) fruits and vegetables 2 apples 1 blood orange 1/2 carrot dinner (6:30pm) rest of the dinner from yesterday (1 plate) millet with vegetables (1.5 plates) quite a few walnuts What I noticed I had the urge to eat after school but I didn't eat but instead meditated I changed the second habit to "Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack" because I think then it is easier for me to do it at first I just cracked walnuts and ate quite a few of them, but I allowed it to myself and anticipated that. Meanwhile I watched a documentary. I think thats the reason why I ate so much of them. I shouldn't have the food-source in my room while being distracted by something. What I will do tomorrow Intermittent fasting until I get back from school Did I challenge myself too much? I am challenge but not overly challenged. It was hard to not eat after school. And now I am also craving food because I moved more than usual today. I feel like I want to stuff myself full with oatmeal. I have this strong desire to get back to homeostasis. I will resist!

Honesty and Anger Everytime that I read Radical Honesty I realize how much I have to reveal from myself to others. And everytime this resistance and fear builds up. It is so scary, even just to imagine telling all my secrets. Brad Blanton is right now talking about expressing anger to release the built up charge and that normally everyone represses this resentment against the person or the situation. I noticed how I am doing that today and yesterday. I am a bit confused about his statements and advice compared to Leo's latest video about the holistic understanding of anger. But this evening I could listen to my father complaining heavily about my sister and she began crying. I initially wanted to write this section about his way of parenting into the letter to him. But as I got upstairs I protected my sister from him and expressed my anger, at least a little bit. I told him about how she feels and how I felt - not everything but better than nothing. And afterwards I felt better. A step into the right direction. And I found something out about my father. My grandparents treated him even worse than he treats us - I guess especially my grandmother. He adopted the way of parenting from his parents and because he doesn't know it better he applies this way to us. Ha! Some holistic understanding Contemplation in School In the lunch break I sat in the canteen, at the beginning all on my own. I read like said above Radical Honesty. At one time I had the urge to lay the book down and to stare at the wall at the other side of the room and contemplate a bit. I noticed that it are all just sensations. Nothing new but in a new environment. In school I am interpreting my sensations all the time but this time I stopped for a moment. I noticed that all the time my mind is concerned about what the others might think about me even though I am often telling that I don't care about the opinions of others. I still don't want to be judged as absolutely weird, a bit weird is okay but not as weird as some other people. I was a bit scared that other people could come into the room and judge me sitting there doing nothing. I listened to the people walking outside the room... Later other people came in and because I didn't wanted to get distracted I listened to some instrumental music and again started to contemplate a bit. A cool experience. Chakras Now I am doing some research about Chakras and with the help of @Peace and Love I found out that my root, throat and third eye chakra are out of alignment. This makes perfect sense to me now that I am dealing with my emotions and try to understand my whole programming. Firstly I am going to focus on the root chakra. I did a guided meditation for that. I think I will implement some chakra meditations or visualizations into my practice. Still I don't want to be judged as totally esoteric and spiritual - my father did that a few weeks ago and that hurt. A few months ago I also would have judged these topics too. Sometimes I am a bit too naive. But this can also be a great advantage for radical open-mindedness. I will see this chakra stuff as a tool. It might just be an interpretation of some feeling-sensations. I will experiment with this and see which results I'll get. I just may not forget that all of this is just interpretation into experience, otherwise it will just become another stupid belief-system. I watched a video by Teal Swan about grounding. I think what I wrote previously was just some bullshit - not what grounding actually is. Bold Life Changes?? When I now consider going to university, not going traveling and to just take the path of least resistance I don't like the imagination. I feel like I have distanced myself from this logical field of science, computer science, maths... I feel like I have outgrown that. I don't want to be around people who are not into spirituality - well, I am around just stupid and neurotic people now all the time. Science or maths isn't my real passion anymore, it is just another belief-system. I noticed that in maths class today. When I had nothing to do and the teacher was away I was on my phone and read a thread about angles. I am much more interested in this. Maybe my passion for maths will come back at one point, but I really don't want to study that stuff in the near future. My life purpose is definitively something different. It is about helping people with this spirituality stuff. I really like the term "holistic understanding." I just need to go traveling. I just need to. The intuition will work out everything perfectly. It will, I have faith in it.

17/1/10 Eating only lunch, one allowed snack and dinner - Streak 1 Feeling hunger before eating the allowed snack - Streak 1 first meal (5pm) smoothie 3 apples 1 banana a piece of ginger some powders a bit soy milk fruit plate 2 apples 1 mango 1 blood orange 1 persimmon limited nuts and seeds dinner (6:30pm) potatoes, sweet potatoes, rice, coconut milk and soy (1.5 plates) 2 pieces of cucumber, 2 pieces of apple, 2 grapes What I noticed not eating is no problem when no food is around I feel good fasting for many hours as long as I have not started to eat that day. When I eat, hunger will come up - when I don't eat, no hunger will come up I feel very pleased right now and have no desire to eat anymore I always forget the things that I write at "What I will do tomorrow" What I will do tomorrow not snacking after coming back from school in the evening reviewing once this section in the morning when I visualize Did I challenge myself too much? No, I was in school until 4pm, had no food around and absolutely no desire to eat.

Do you just touch these areas of your body and it will happen? Or do you need to have a special mindset? Or try to send somehow energy through your hands?