JKG

17/01/26, Thursday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 6 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 6 1 oat meal 2 fruit plate green smoothie nuts and seeds 3 potatoes and pumpkin from the oven apple puree tomato juice and orange juice

I like how the artist expresses them freely. This smile and joy. I guess the doesn't care about the opinions of other people his age - he is just 2.5 months older than me, so I know this age group. A creator.

A School Day - 1 For quite a while I had the idea to write a post about some regular days in school. So in the future when I have finished high school I could look back on these memories and see what has changed. I woke up at 5:30am, stayed in bed for like 20 more minutes (a bad habit at the time), them motivated myself to get into the cold shower (100% commitment from yesterday evening), started meditating for 30 minutes and then changed it to 30 more minutes of visualization. Then I had to prepare food for school, turned on the computer to look for news (school homepage, YouTube, forum, weather), packed my back and went to school at 7:45am. The first two classes were German (8:05-9:40). My German teacher was ill, so our school director (Mrs. B) substituted her. I like Mrs B's kind of teaching much more. We read a text about how children learn language and analyzed the text together. In these two lessons with her I learned much more than in 10 normal German classes. I participated well. Then we had an discussion about our opinion about the positions. In that part I didn't participate because I hate discussions. At the end we made a "scientific" experiment. One half of the class went outside and our director told us a story about her old sick mother. The other half of the class got told a story about young, dynamic students. We walked slower than the other group inside. We proved this theory... In the third and fourth period I had English class (10:00-11:35). In groups we made a poster about the characters in Romeo&Juliet. I liked it and I brought up most of the content on our poster. While talking about the plot and other features of the play I participated really well, I guess I participated the most. I felt confident and liked it. In the second break my friend told another friend that she might have a vitamin K deficiency. The reaction of the friend (narrow-minded) was in a way funny and to be expected. "No no, I don't have a deficiency. I always get blue marks. That's just the way I am..." Why don't they question and are willing to investigate??? Fantasy books and series are much more important than research about a good life!!! In the fifth and sixth period I had physics class (11:50-01:25). Firstly the teacher spoke about organization stuff. Then we watched a lecture about the specific theory of relativity. I understood most of it. I was astonished about how radically different this perspective is. Einstein had to really think outside the box. Ordinary people would never think this way or question their normal way of thinking. Even though we sometimes in school talk about very interesting and different topics those people stay with their current paradigm and forget the topic as they go home and watch Game of Thrones. In the second half of the class I had to present my paper which I had to prepare the last two day about electromagnetic induction. I hoped that I wouldn't have to present it today... But I anticipated it. I wasn't prepared to present but it went very well. I felt confident and was able to explain it properly. The teacher like it. In the lunch break I was in the sitting are with my friends and other stupid people. I ate my oat meal (I felt physically bad afterwards) and talked to my friend to prepare the upcoming trip on the weekend. The other people talked about their trip to Auschwitz, the Holocaust, car crashes, disgusting things, series, their sleep pattern...... I would have felt better if I would have taken a walk outside in the cold. Then in the eighth and ninth period (04:25-03:55) I had history class. We talked about the resistance in the military against the Nazi regime. We watched a documentary about one guy or a number of people who organized a conspiracy and wanted to kill Hitler. But what they wanted afterwards was it to build up an undemocratic, restaurateur, aristocratic state again like at the time of Bismark. Then I rushed home, ate for an hour and now write this post. I feel like I have too many things to do especially because I am away over the weekend and have no time then to make homeworks or do other productive stuff. I feel hectic and want to calm my mind own. Well, to be accurate, there is nothing that I need to do.

17/01/25, Wednesday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 5 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 5 1 (1pm) energy smoothie salad nuts and seeds and excessive raisins 2 (6pm) fruit plate excessive raisins and cashews and Brazil nuts 3 (7pm) potatoes with Chinese cabbage What I noticed I trick myself a bit. When I go into the kitchen (rather out of boredom or I find an excuse to go to the kitchen) I think "it has only been a few minutes after I have had the meal. I can snack something and can still count this as a part of the meal and not as snacking." So I ate a lot of raisins, cashews and Brazil nuts after first and second meal. After the third meal I have noticed that. Yesterday and today in meditation I excessively thought about whether I should eat breakfast or not. Yesterday I said to myself to be able to continue meditation without those thoughts in my mind "if the number of the minutes on the clock is even I will do intermittent fasting, if the number is uneven I will eat breakfast." The number was uneven... Today it wasn't as bad and asked my intuition after the meditation. The intuition said that eating would waste a lot of time of my morning. It was a good decision. I didn't eat directly after school because I had an assignment to finish with the deadline at 6pm. I could have stayed without the second meal because my mother already prepared dinner. What I will do tomorrow I will eat no raisins and only 5 cashews and 2 Brazil nuts. Anything more than that I will count as snacking, which would break my streak. I will say to myself consciously when I have finished the meal to prevent myself from tricking myself into snacking. again intermittent fasting Did I challenge myself too much? No. Not eating so much becomes more easy. I read in Radical Honesty about Intention, Commitment and Responsibility. I now understand why responsibility is so important and why 100% commitment is so important. "Trying" to change a habit already implies the possibility to fail. If your intention to change is habit is soo big, no self-control is needed anymore. It will become effortless. I will work on applying this commitment to these habits now. It is already working with the visualization habit. If I wouldn't have written here why it is so important, I guess I would have already skipped days. It seems like it works. I am already excited to reach the 21 streak at my two habits. There are so many other great habits that I want to implement. I really want to make these changes. The future will be so great with these habits! Some of the habits that I think of implementing in the near future: waking up directly, not laying down again, not surfing on my phone while laying in bed... cold shower in the morning longer cold showers everyday yoga, stretching, mobility, core strength eating only when I am hungry regular small fasting periods (like not eating for 1 day) regular studying habit spending less time on the internet and on this forum Right now it seems to me so silly that I haven't started such a journal earlier. It would have made my process with habits much easier. Yesterday I read what I have written in my private journal about two months ago... Such a change.

Only my Perception exists This morning I had a 1.5h neti neti session. I again got a relatively good sense that I am not there and that there is only perception. I negated my body feelings, other feelings and identity. I was left with the sense of I-am. I tried some of the exercises from Leo's list. A few days ago I did the first exercise where you draw an imaginary line from an object to "you." This became pretty quickly pretty deep, I didn't had this problem of monkey mind. What I firstly noticed that I always start to move my finger towards my body. But why? My finger stopped mainly in the area of my eye, at my forehead, at the area of the third eye or at my throat. I noticed that these all were just perceptions. Somewhere I read from Leo that perceptions cannot perceive another perception. Therefore this sense of ego cannot be the perceiver of the perceptions. If you think about it it seems so obvious. When I draw the line towards my head area it feels good. If I try drawing the line towards other parts of my body like my knee it feels weird or not real. If I draw the line towards another object (my dried pineapples to my couch) it seems absurd. I also tried the exercise with questioning the separation between me and objects and seeing them as connected, in a unified field. That is cool and beautiful. There is nothing between the wall and me. There is no space between us. I am the wall or the perception of the wall. Today in chemistry class I went to the toilet. Coming back and walking through the empty corridors I spontaneously questioned "Is my class really still there? I don't perceive them. Only my perception exists. I don't see my class, the people from my class, the chemistry room... Here is this unified field of perception." Then sitting in class again I was pretty happy. I observed my teacher and the other students. They were me. I am them. Everything is one. Everything is me. I enjoyed the end of the class with this perspective. It was funny. I had to smile most of the time. What I was doing here was absurd. This was not a real profound experience, just a little shift in perspective triggered by the neti neti meditation, doing the exercises form Leo and watching Martin Ball talking about God.

17/01/24, Tuesday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 4 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 4 1 big green energy smoothie oat meal with orange 2 tiny rest from yesterdays dinner 3 the other rest from yesterdays dinner fruit plate nuts, seeds, raisins, cranberries I am not in a mood to write much more here. it was fine.

A Rant Against School I just had to do homework in the evening. I never have to do homework in the evening. The evenings are like my "holy time," in which I am free to do whatever I want - definitively no homework. I firstly had to read some useless papers for chemistry. And then i had to do this fucking physic assignment. I had to prepare a paper for the other students to review a topic from last year with explanations and asks for them. I hated it. It is so easy and obvious to me. And I hate explaining easy things for stupid people. Why did our teacher give us such a useless homework. Those two people who have physics at their final exams will never look at these papers again. They will just watch better learning videos on YouTube about it. I didn't find good explanations on the internet and had to search for so many sources to come up with this shitty paper. It took me two hours!!! I could do SOOOOO much more useful stuff. But no, teachers think they have to waste our time. I am so glad that this will be over soon. I felt like I got aggressive, angry, pissed off... I wanted to be done with this fucking task. Sooo useless. I had this same feeling for months when I had to write my project thesis last year. OOhhh, I hated it so much. And I hate these fucking stupid tasks. This school system is soooo stupid. Everything I learned in these 6 classes today I could have learned at home in 20 minutes, no 10 minutes would have been enough. This school system is pure inefficiency. I had this feeling also soo often when I had to do stupid German class tasks like writing an analysis about a stupid scene out of a stupid book. Only 10 weeks of classes left. I am glad. I feel like I would get this feeling again when I would go to university. Oh no, I don't want that. I want to be free and do things that I am interested in. I never want to get suck in such useless education systems. If I will take the gap year I should find something that I will not "have to" go to university after that year. Just a rant, I am just in rage for a bit. Don't take this too seriously. I'll go meditating now. I am infinite. We are all one. Relax. Everything is meaningless. God. But fuck you school!

I thought the same and still do. So for a while I just drank our tap water. But after months I got so disgusted by the taste of that water. In other regions its okay but not here. If I drink too much of it I get an urge to gag. So I started to drink packaged water again which contain many minerals. It is not the optimal solution but it works for now. Optimal would be getting water from a spring but I don't know about such an opportunity in my near.

Gap Year Yesterday I felt more confident about the gap year again. Today too. After school I firstly wanted to continue reading, but then my mind remembered that organizing my future is more important now than reading. So I took out a pen and paper and wrote down why my intuition wants to do this gap year. I want to get away from home, seeing more of the world and having distance from my family I don't want to directly have to be in this stress/learning/obligation/work situation which would be if I go to university I don't want to be around these similar, negative, narrow-minded people again I want to meet people who are a little more open-minded and developed, with different mentalities than the ordinary people I want to have time to meditate and research I want to have time do find my life purpose and start working on it I don't want to be in this rather dirty city environment I don't want to sit all day around in closed rooms I want to take part at retreats I want to be in warmer regions with better fruits and vegetables I want to live in an more natural environment I want to eat different and less food I noticed that I also came up with arguments which don't come from my intuition but from the mind. Then I got the intuitive urge to tell it my mother. While cooking I approached to her and asked something like "what would you think if I don't directly go to university but travel for a year." Her response was rather positive. She anticipated something like that. She is aware about that she cannot hold me back as soon as I am 18. She as done much more stuff when she was at my age. And she didn't say something about concerns about my safety. She was rather interested in what I actually planned. I feel optimistic now about this gap year. It is really possible. The stuff I fear might be just an imagination from my fearful ego. This dream might become true!

17/01/23, Monday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 3 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - not yet but in an hour 1 salad buckwheat porridge fruit plate nuts and seeds beet root juice (0.5l) + soy milk 2 cucumber, carrot, grapes, raw sweet potato (2 plates) potato + sweet potato + chick peas + buckwheat + soy What I noticed I ate nothing after school!! I snacked while cooking but thats fine I was very full after lunch and that wasn't clever because of physical education class in the afternoon. I think I didn't needed a meal after coming home from school because I was so full from lunch I have no desire to eat now. Thats good! What I will do tomorrow not eating after dinner not eating directly after school but a bit later Did I challenge myself too much? No. My mind just thought about skipping the visualization habit but I will do this after turning the computer down.

it is no problem for me as long as there is an open water source in my near like an open bottle or a cup of water that I like (I hate our tap water). I used to drink all the time when I am studying and then have to go to the toilet every 30 minutes (that was a time in which I was dogmatic about high carb veganism and these people talk all the time about drinking so much that your pee is clear)

Meditation I meditated for about 4 hours today. 30 minutes in the morning and the rest in "one" session in the afternoon. After my parents left I got the whole house on my own and therefore meditated for 75 minutes in the living room looking outside. Then I went into my room and listened to this "guided meditation." I wouldn't call it a guided meditation but it lead me to a nice state of love and less thoughts. At the time I finished it was already 5:30pm and my parents were back making noise. I guess I know now what I need to "search" for in meditation/contemplation/self inquiry. And when I am concentrated enough I can reach a blissful state in about 2 hours. But the monkey mind is a big obstacle for me. It always distracts me in my contemplation attempts. It takes a lot of time to quiet the monkey mind down. That normally takes at least 1 hour of do nothing. So I reach this blissful state of disidentification with the ego rarely, maybe one every week or every second week. Life Purpose I have a few new ideas about my life purpose because of relistening to the LPC. Zone of Genius: structuring and analyzing patterns? ( I guess I am pretty good at analyzing the psyche, believes, behaviors, dogmas, vows ect of people around me as well of myself. I can coach myself well if I am aware enough and can think of thousands of ways coaching others. The barrier is just communication and resistance. Impact Statement: making people more conscious or specifically open-minded Domain of Mastery: Human psychology, the mechanics of the mind, nature of self/reality/mind Ideal Medium: speaking to people? developing software? recording videos? hypnosis? some kind of energy work? I have no idea What am I doing when I am in the flow state? Solving mathematical problems, programming, learning (about personal development/spiritual stuff - almost everything that Leo talks about), studying and finally understanding a topic deeply in school (chemistry, history), reading, meditating / exploring my perception? Confusion What should I do now? I want to focus more again on meditation. I want to start mastering my domain of masters, read and research a lot and apply it to myself. I want to work thought the LPC properly again to get as much out of it as possible. I want to work on organizing my future. And I need to study for my final exam (I already started with chemistry and history. Chemistry is working well and I enjoy it. But history... I have to memorize so many facts. I just started with world war two and there are so many facts and dates. That seems to take months! Happily I still have some months.) I would love to do them all. But that won't bring much results. I guess I should prioritize them: school organizing my future meditation life purpose course domain of mastery I put meditation above the LPC because I have neglected meditation in the last month. It is rather enjoyable to work though the LPC because I puzzle while listening to it. I already know all the material, I just need to refresh it in my mind. And my mind has to come up with the answers. That might take time. But in the monkey mind phase of meditation I usually come up with good ideas about it. And additionally I build a habit of visualization.

17/01/22, Sunday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 2 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 2 1 (1pm) fruit plate buckwheat porridge some nuts and seeds 2 (5:30pm) smaller green (rather brown) smoothie some nuts and seeds 3 (7pm) rice with cauliflower and scrambled eggs cucumber What I noticed I didn't drink more, I forgot it like everybody else normally does I had no hunger before the second meal but I ate it anyways because I had no greens yet the eating stuff was no problem today I just ate some cashews too much The intermittent fasting felt very good. At about 11am I could hear for minutes some sounds coming from my gut. That was strange but I guess my body cleaned the gut or stomach What I will do tomorrow drink 1 liter of water with apple cider vinegar and lemon juice in the morning and taking another liter with me to school again eating nothing after dinner Did I challenge myself too much? No. It was totally fine, especially because between the first and second meal I spent almost all the time in meditation. I listened to the video about 100% commitment from the LPC. Leo talked about that he needs to make the 100% commitment towards a habit to make it stick, otherwise it will never happen. "99% is a bitch, 100% is a breeze." I guess this is exactly what I am struggling with. I hate 100% commitments. I guess I would greatly benefit from making this commitment. Not 90%, 80%, 95%, 99%, but 100%. I'll think about this for a while.

17/01/21, Saturday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 1 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 1 1 (1pm) rice with tomato sauce and vegetables rest of cooked kale from yesterday 2 (5pm) green smoothie fruit plate 3 (6pm) huge salad nuts and seeds and many raisins What I noticed I feel reasonable full I wouldn't have needed the third meal I had an unconscious craving for dried fruit, was in the kitchen and therefore ate 3 hands full of raisins. But it still was part of the third meal I have no cravings now I noticed that I drink to little because there is not all the time a water source in my room like it used to. Today I only drank about 1.5 liters. I spend a lot of time eating and preparing food throughout the day. Thats why I get less done in the afternoon that in the morning. What I will do tomorrow Drinking more. I will again put a open water source into my room so that I will drink a lot while studying. Intermittent fasting. Eating nothing after dinner - no nuts or raisins... Did I challenge myself too much? No. It was all okay.

School Yesterday we got our school certificates. These are the results: Maths 14 Chemistry 13 History 13 English 13 Physics 14 Computer science 13 German 12 Sports 10 Social Science 13 I remembered that I have set myself some goals at the beginning of this school year. I was surprised that I met all of the goals and even reached some of the ambitious goals. Kind of cool. The best certificate that I ever got, although I didn't studied more at all. All my grandparents said how proud they are, my mother, further family members... (but my father didn't even say a word about it). I dislike the idea of proudness. I got this notion from my Buddhist time. They say that proudness makes you feel superior to others - ego. That's what my whole family is about. These grades are just an indication of how well you can adapt to the shitty system. Also a bit of intelligence or work ethic, but really, you just have to conform to the system. It does not make me a better human being.

I found myself wanting to comment with something like "This is really awesome." But a better expression would be: "This makes me smile all over my face." I don't know why, but yeah... I totally agree with that.

I thought it would be cool to capture what the average actualized.org follower is thinking about certain (conspiracy) theories - now in January 2017. Maybe it might change in the future These are just the conspiracy theories I know at the moment. There are certainly many more out there.

A Guide Towards Radical Open-mindedness (just an idea and how I subconsciously do it) Discover a new topic that seems interesting to you, but which you are very skeptical about (e.g. the flat earth theory) Do research about this topic. But turn of your skepticism for a while. Play the naive child and try to understand how these people think, understand their arguments, their point of view - but without questioning. You will eventually notice that you can relate to those people very well. Then start questioning the topic and compare your previous believes and arguments to your new gained perspective. Don't become dogmatic about any of those perspectives. Remain open to the possibility that both perspectives could be true and that you could be just totally deluded. Don't cling to any of your believes. Because you can understand both sides. Think about those perspectives just as possibilities. They could be true but also false. You don't know. How can you know? Add to them just possibilities - Perspective A could be 40% true and Perspective B 60%. Enjoy your freedom of mind and that you don't have to defend your position against any other one because for you any position could turn out true.

More conspiracy theories - Illuminati, MK-Ultra Mind Control I see how it becomes a habit of watching conspiracy theory videos while eating. It is fun and brings a new perspective. The world is definitively not as it seems to be. Some of those theories have to be true. The Illuminati seem interesting. And also MK-Ultra Mind Control. These celebrities are so brainwashed These celebrities seem like a tool of the Illuminati. They serve the function of making the mainstream believe that such a fame-lifestyle is worthwhile and desirable. Maybe they want to program us with their music about sex, parties, love, fame, materialism, hedonism... Ordinary people listen to this pop music so often. Their subconscious mind just has to absorb these information and they get programmed. So obvious.

Chemtrails I took these images this afternoon while walking home from school. These things aren't natural. These aren't normal clouds, never! In the past there weren't such things in the sky. In the past there already were air planes flying around. They didn't leave such trails behind them which spread and look like really weird clouds. Those "clouds" can never be just contrails. I could see even those grids. The air planes are flying above the cities in a grid formation. Many angles were very regular and some even orthogonal. That cannot be a coincidence. Today was a pretty clear day. If there wouldn't have been those "clouds", the sky would have been almost clear. But I saw the trails in the morning, at midday and in the afternoon, covering most of the sky. There has to be something true about the chemtrails conspiracy.

Dealing with confusion about my future I am just talking to myself about everything that goes on in my mind about university vs gap year. I am very confused. I am observing the fight between the ego and the intuition. I kind of coach myself. Pretty long, I repeat myself often and have longer breaks because I have to deal with my thoughts.

17/01/20, Friday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 0 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 0 Eating without distractions for 5 minutes - Streak 0 lunch (1pm) green energy smoothie salad nuts and seeds snack (5pm) fruit plate apple with beet root oat meal dinner (6pm) potatoes with kale nuts and dried fruit snack I see how I am struggling with this eating habit a lot. I kind of got a few days of not breaking my streaks, but now it became regular to break my streaks. I can see how I make excuses to myself, a lot. And I see why. I want to change too many habits at a time. And then I just fail. What did I say to myself at the beginning at the year? Right, only focusing on ONE habit at a time. ONE, not three. They are all about my eating habit, but really, they are three habits. I will continue with only one eating habit: "Eating only three meals and nothing in between." But I want to add another one from a different category. I know, I just said that I want to focus on one habit. But this one would be rather easy, because I do it regularly, but not consistently enough. it is about visualization. Visualization is so important, especially at this time for me. I have to make strategic, important decisions in the near future. Those decisions could influence my life in even 5 years. This is more important at the moment than any other habit. It is more important than meditation, working out, school or this eating stuff. I will from now on visualize or program my subconscious mind for 30 minutes for the rest of my life. It could be a bit exaggerated to say that I will do it for the rest of my life. But that will be something effective. I will not make any excuse about this, at least until I am enlightened I will now add the habit "Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min)" to my list. This will be the number one priority. I will not skip any days. And soon I will have reached the streak of 66 days. This habit will include affirmations, visualizations, dreaming, thinking big... I am the creator of my life!

That sounds amazing. Thanks for sharing.

17/01/18-19, Wednesday and Thursday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 0 Having a reasonably empty stomach before eating the allowed snack - Streak 0 Eating without distractions for 5 minutes - Streak 0 I don't want to write down what I have eaten these two days. Way, way, way, way toooo much. You don't want to imagine how much. And I am back to zero on my streaks. What I noticed I ate breakfast I didn't have a need to eat after breakfast. I came home late at about 4pm and in the meantime didn't even think about food. But then at home... I just have this desire to eat when I am home. I feel so bad. I feel like don't want to eat ever again When I broke the streak my eating escalated. Somehow I don't drink tea anymore What I will do tomorrow Intermittent fasting! No matter what Eating lunch mindful for at least 5 minutes Did I challenge myself too much? I didn't challenge myself at all, I just ate and ate and ate until my stomach was so full that it became really uncomfortable.

His proves my lack of research on this topic. You probably have done much more research and know probably better than I. I just watched some YouTube videos which seemed interesting. Their reasoning seemed logic as well as the idea of a global conspiracy that the "elite" wants to control us. The ISS videos could be manipulated by NASA Well, as already said: I don't know. I just don't want this journal to be about a flat earth debate.