JKG

17/02/06, Monday Eating only three meals, deciding before the meal what to eat, nothing more - Streak 1 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 17 Morning Routine (getting up directly, cold shower (3min), sitting (30 minutes)) - Streak 4 1 (7am) green smoothie 2 (2pm) salad 1/2 avocado 6 cashews, 2 brazil nuts, 5 walnut halfs, sunflower seeds 3 (6pm) lentils, sweet potato, celery (2 plates) pear, pomegranate , 2 lychees What I noticed I had absolutely no hunger in the morning. Still I "had" to eat breakfast because I already got the kale out of the freezer I ate for my standard very little at lunch I ate without distraction lunch, on my couch, relatively mindfully and practiced a bit of gratitude. Thats probably the reason why I ate less. And I didn't feel hunger afterwards or a big desire to eat more. The cold shower was much colder this morning and my skin at the end felt a bit numb. It was harder to stay inside. It wasn't that hard to get into the shower. Did I trick myself? A little bit. At first I said to myself that I could eat some fruit before dinner. I didn't ate the lychees before dinner but then afterwards. I will look out for this tomorrow. Did I challenge myself too much? No. It was alright. What I will do tomorrow Look if I really want to eat breakfast. If I still feel full I won't. Eating less fruit.

Life Purpose Vision Yesterday morning while visualizing my subconscious mind came up with a grandiose idea/vision for my life purpose! I want to build a program/software with analyses (all of) human knowledge and psyches of the people. It compares these two webs of beliefs with each other and gives advice to the user about how to grow. The program will analyze the belief systems through analyzing the language which the user uses (like texts out of journals or spoken language), books, videos, films... This feels so authentic. With my previous visions there have always been some problems and things I didn't like. But here everything is combined: My Zone of Genius (solving problems and analyzing structures), Impact Statement (helping humanity to grow into higher stages of consciousness), Strength (logical thinking, love of learning)... This means that computer science as a major would be better than electrical engineering. And I should master a programming language or something like artificial intelligence. I am excited for that, although this vision is scary. Books I have finished Radical Honesty and created a big mind map with a software. I just have to look that I don't forget about this problem of dishonesty. I should revise the mind map once in a while, like once a week. Then I can also improve the mind map because I am not so happy about the layout which the software created. Then I started reading "Mastery" by George Leonard - a book that Leo recommends very often. It is pretty short and I am almost ready with it. I took notes and will also create a mind map for this one. I have only 40 pages left, so I will be ready in a few days. I also have started reading another book in school today. Yesterday I got my last christmas presents - two books: "Our Inner Ape" by Frans de Waal and "The Happiness Hypothesis" by Jonathan Haidt. Our Inner Ape already seems funny and interesting. Aaaand a few days ago I got "The 150 Healthiest Books On Earth" by Jonny Bowden. My friend somehow ordered two of them, so I got one. It is a used one and I am not used to own used books. It seemed like it once was owned by a Library. It has a lot of use marks. But I will deal with it. In the book are also meat and diary products listed. There I see how much my mind doesn't like the idea of non-vegan foods being healthy. I was soo dogmatic about veganism in the past! Meditation as a Practice Through reading Mastery I remembered the idea of practice. It is about the journey, not the destination. Today in meditation I noticed that I was too focused on reaching an enjoyable/blissful state and making progress. But meditation should be a practice. It isn't important to get good results today. Just through staying on the path will bring results with time. It isn't just about Enlightenment. Perception But still today I had a "successful" meditation session. It was "only" 80 minutes long, but I relatively quickly got relatively concentrated and did self-inquiry. I also remembered the process of contemplation from Peter Ralston. I contemplated on vision for a bit. What is vision? Where does it come from? Vision is so strange. Like all of perception. Today in maths class I laid my head down on the table and closed my eyes. I focused on sound and disidentified a bit from myself. It was strange to get up again at the end of the break. School I have started to study for my final exams. I will now revise everyday at least a little bit of chemistry of history. I got a lot of stuff done and feel good about it. Progress And I am generally satisfied with my progress at the moment. I am so happy about it that I have started to transform my habits at the beginning of last month! I finally see change. Homeostasis kicks in but through the journal and honesty I can get that handled. In the last days I was really productive, read a lot, visualized, studied... On Friday and Saturday I got so much stuff done! I am most productive in the morning and noon. Although I am not going though something "big" like the emotions at the beginning of the year or comfort zone challenges I see the progress. I am stabilizing at a higher level - mainly because of the habits! Changing habits is so crucial! Why didn't I start doing this earlier??

17/02/05, Sunday Eating only three meals, deciding before the meal what to eat, nothing more - Streak 0 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 16 Morning Routine (getting up directly, cold shower (3min), sitting (30 minutes)) - Streak 3 1 (12am) fruit plate apple with beet root buckwheat porridge nuts and seeds glass of soy milk 2 (4pm) fruit plate cashews and Brazil nuts 3 (7pm) lentils, potatoes, celery (2 plates) hand of raisins I will extend these questions to my other habits, not just the eating habit: What I noticed visualization is key, so powerful! the minutes before the cold shower were easier than yesterday, but still hard. I have this thought in mind like "oh shit, in a few minutes you have to stand in this horrible cold shower. I am glad that I am still in the warm now. Poor me in the future." I could concentrate before lunch properly anymore I am tricking myself with this eating habit. If I want to snack a few minutes after the meal I will say to myself that it could shill count as the meal. This has to stop homeostasis is kicking in I am eating way too many nuts. They are healthy but not in that extend. I wasn't hungry at all before dinner. I wouldn't had to eat dinner, but I did anyways... What I will do tomorrow 3 meals, no snacking eating a really green smoothie Did I challenge myself to much? No. I will add the section "Did I trick myself?" I noticed that I wasn't totally honest to myself with the eating habit. But I didn't write it here down to not break the streak. This is not the purpose of this journal, to trick myself. I have to be brutally honest with myself. Otherwise homeostasis will destroy all this progress.

17/02/04, Saturday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 15 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 15 Morning Routine (getting up directly, cold shower (3min), sitting (30 minutes)) - Streak 2 1 (1pm) fruit plate salad couscous raisin stuff nuts and seeds 2 (6pm) walnuts, Brazil nuts, cashews raisins lychees 3 (6:30pm) lentils, beans, celery, coconut milk (2 plates) grapes, persimmon What I noticed it was harder to not eat in the morning than in the past. I couldn't concentrate properly anymore before lunch I was snacking but that was okay because it was like a meal I had absolutely no need to eat in the afternoon What I will do tomorrow intermittent fasting Did I challenge myself too much? No. The minutes before the cold shower in the morning are horrible mentally. The ego resists so much and doesn't want to do it. I was so productive in the morning. I was ready with the morning routine at 6:45 and started to read, study... I already had so much stuff done when my family just woke up. That felt great.

Perception Is there a perceiver? An object which perceives other objects and turns it into perception? Is there an object that "sees" and brings me my vision? Is seems like my eyes perceive, but what are my eyes? I can feel the eyes, but they don't see. Is there an object that "feels?" No. It seems like something in my head feels but that are also just feelings. Is there an object that "hears?" No. It seems like the ears hear but that is just a feeling. A perception cannot perceive another perception. Is there an object that "hears" the internal sounds or thoughts? No. Where do these perceptions arise from? I don't know. Is there something controlling my thoughts? No. So I don't have free will. Everything just happens.

17/02/03, Friday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 14 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 14 Morning Routine (getting up directly, cold shower (3min), sitting (30 minutes)) - Streak 1 1 (7am) buckwheat porridge 2 (1pm) salad green smoothie nuts and seeds 3 (6:30 pm) lentils, celery, vegetables, scrambled eggs (2 plates) apple puree What I noticed I was hungry in the morning I was hungry before lunch I wasn't hungry before dinner I didn't crave food after lunch at all I don't crave food after dinner at all this eating stuff is working really well What I will do tomorrow not eating breakfast not eating in the afternoon Did I challenge myself too much? Not at all. The few minutes before getting into the cold shower are worse than the cold shower itself. I was thinking about that I would have to stay in there for three minutes. But it was fine.

Zone of Genius I think I now got what my Zone of Genius actually is: Finding ways to solve mathematical/technical (or general) problems. I like it to have a rather accurate phrase like that. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs I always knew that I was lacking in some of these areas. It never was a big problem to still work on self-actualization or self-transcendence because I was living at home and didn't had to worry about some lower needs. But soon these needs will come up more because of finishing school, turning 18... Lower areas in which I lack in: employment relationships confidence / self-esteem I want to solve those problems/needs permanently. I want to be able to work on self-actualization and self-transcendence without worrying about other stuff. Therefore I need to fill those gaps to make the pyramid more stable. Filling those gaps should become a priority rather than the higher stages. I want to get through the lower stages as quick as possible and then work on Enlightenment stuff for a few years focused and become enlightened. Employment I don't just want employment. I want financial independence and security. I want to earn money with my life purpose. I want to build a business. Firstly I need to get my degrees and if possible in the meantime start building my business. After university I might work for a company for a bit but eventually quit that and just work on my business full time. But for now I should concentrate on studying for my final exam and practicing working hard. Relationships At the moment it is alright because I am going to school and have social contact there. But in the past in the holidays I was pretty isolated and had not many contacts. I was just around my family and rarely met other people. At the end of the holidays I got often a bad mood because of this isolation. When I am done with school in a few months this might become a real problem. I have one really good friendship but I guess after school we will not see each other very often. Somehow I need to get into contact with other people. I need to learn to have deeper conversations with other people (and not just with my best friend). I need to be able to approach to others. Confidence / Self-Esteem My confidence was really bad in my early teens. I was very quiet, didn't talk much at all, was very shy... It became a lot better with the years. In certain situations I feel very confident but when I am surrounded by people I don't know or like I get shy and quiet again. If someone would say something mean to me, my ego would get very attacked. This correlates with relationships well. I "just" need to get out of my comfort zone. This will be stuff that I will work on at university - rather basic personal development stuff. But still I will meditate and work out everyday. Reading is still important and working on my habits. Priorities are key. Meditation Normally I meditate once in the morning and another time in the afternoon or in the evening. Both sessions take around one hour. But this is very inefficient. The first 30 minutes of a meditation session I normally spend doing nothing to quiet the mind. Only little time is spend on self-inquiry. One longer, 2 hour, session would be much better. I could get much deeper. That will be something I will try out in the next days. In the morning I will "just" do visualization to start the day.

My father claims that he is in the best position (career wise) he can ever be and very lucky about all these external circumstances. But 95% of the days he comes home annoyed, gets easily aggressive, tired... They fool themselves so badly!

I've had this thought in mind ever since thinking about the idea of life purpose. It is much "easier" to build a career/business/life purpose/domain of mastery around a personal development subject than around any other topic science or engineering. (by personal development I here mean anything that will contribute to your inner growth like reading, meditating, shadow work) But what do I mean by easier? By "easier" I mean that you have more time. When one pursues mastery in science, one "has" to do certain things throughout the day. I guess optimally it would be about physical vitality (eating good food, working out...), the career/mastery (in this case studying science or working), and personal development (meditation, education, shadow work...). But the other one who pursues mastery in a personal development domain (like Leo, Gurus or personal development teachers) can combine the aspect of career/mastery with their own personal development work. They don't have to work on their domain of mastery and on their personal development separately. Their domain of mastery is in a way personal development. From doing personal development they don't just work on their own life but also on their career. They don't have to split up their time and therefore can faster develop their mastery and own life. What do you thing about this?

17/02/02, Thursday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 13 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 13 1 (7am) green smoothie 2 (2pm) porridge (apple, banana, different kinds of grains) 3 (6:30pm) rest of yesterdays soup sauerkraut and potatoes (2.5 plates) nuts, seeds, raisins What I noticed I craved food especially an hour before the meals. In physics class I was often thinking about eating lunch I ate a lot for dinner yesterday evening I already thought about eating breakfast this morning. I am often thinking about food when I hold back What I will do tomorrow not eating in the afternoon Did I challenge myself too much? It was alight. The morning routine didn't effect my will-power for the other habits. The morning went better than I thought. I just didn't get up directly, but stayed in bed until 5:34. The reason was probably that I didn't have to go to the toilet as usually. And the battery of my timer was empty so I couldn't time the time in the shower. It was longer than usual but I guess less than 3 minutes. I felt the positive effect. I was awake for meditation!

Pondering about Life Purpose

I forgot to mention that I talk about people who are also into self-actualization stuff (like the people on this forum) and want to do personal development and improve their lives. I am just currently thinking about my life purpose. When I think about a personal development life purpose I like the idea because I can spend a lot of time working on myself, meditating and so on, which I really like. But when think of the engineer life purpose there is this problem that now I have to split up the time. I have many different things to do throughout the day. When I want to also implement for example programming I have much less time for other stuff. (I know that I shouldn't decide for a life purpose because of time management. It is just a thought.)

17/02/01, Wednesday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 12 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 12 1 (9am) fruit plate 2 (1pm) big salad apple with beet root 1/2 avocado nuts and seeds 3 (7pm) soup with potato, celery, beans... (3 plates) little carrot dessert (a gift) What I noticed I ate relatively light at lunch Before lunch I had a strong feeling of hunger It was a bit harder to not eat after school because lunch was mostly digested already I now feel very full after 3 plates of soup. It hurts a little bit but I have experienced worse What I will do tomorrow not eating after school. That will be hard because I have to eat lunch at school and I cannot bring so much with me Did I challenge myself too much? Its alight... I feel like I slowly get ready to tackle the next habit. Should I firstly finish the 21 Streak? Or would I challenge myself too much with the new habit? I guess I could now write down what the new habit will be about and try to start implementing it slowly. The main habit will be about waking up at 5:30 (thats normal for me), immediately get out of bed, without spending time on my phone (except for turning the alarm off). Then I will go to the toilet, clean up my room, take a cold shower (3 minutes or more) and start meditating (the duration depends on how much time I have in the morning). I guess I should be ready with the shower at 6am and therefore have enough time to meditate properly. The challenge will be getting up directly, not being on my phone, and the cold shower (normally I do it very quickly). I will take a waterproof timer with me into the shower. I will add other stuff like stretching, visualization, reading inspirational quotes, reviewing my values... when it will become easier. I will try this out tomorrow and look how it goes.

Oats are good to fill up the stomach for quite a while. But they also make you feel "heavy." Something raw or light is better in the morning. But if you want something that keeps you satisfied for while consider trying buckwheat. Let is soak in water over night or let it sprout for 1.5 days. Buckwheat also does not contain gluten which is good.

Gap Year, Crying, Truth, Intuition Something relevant happened yesterday. My father came into my room and asked me if I have decided what I wanted to study. I was committed towards telling him about my thoughts on the gap year when I he asked it me the next time. So I told him... He was kind of shocked. He was scared that this could happen. He came up with all sorts of reasons why it is a bad idea I will get problems with the assurances a year traveling will look bad on the CV I might not like working on an organic farm I might get exploited I am not independent just because I am 18 and done with school I am unsaved I don't know if his arguments are reasonable but they persuaded me after thinking about them for a day. I tried to give him my arguments that I had prepared. This attempt was not very successful because I began to cry. I easily get emotional and in the past I began to cry because of very insignificant reasons. So I tried to explain to him that I don't like the imagination of staying here at home, stuck, for the next 5 years. I don't know how much of this he understood because of me crying. Maybe he understood me wrong. He came up with all sorts of solutions for me. I guess he understood that I don't like studying because I will have very little time for something else and might miss life. He came up with stuff that I could do in the time between finishing school and starting university and new hobbies. I now know that he has a very untrue image of myself. He things that I am taking all this too seriously (reading books, listening to my "gurus"...) and don't want to have fun. He gave the example of a party which was organized by my year. Everybody from school was there except for me and a few other people. Or I don't have normal hobbies. These assumptions of him are obviously not true. I am probably much more happy/fulfilled than everybody else in school. Going to parties and getting into new hobbies will not make me happier. And it is good to do personal development and read books. But he does not understand it. I understand why he sees me this way. I always look unhappy. I don't know why but I have always appeared to other people as sad, depressed, unhappy... When I have a neutral facial expression other people interpret it as sad... I also don't meet friends often or go away. I also have a distorted image of my father. He claims that he is very happy with his position. He has a very good position at work, earns a lot of money, likes his work and his colleagues. He said that this is the best position he could end up in. For him it is normal that work can be stressful and not pleasant at times. But therefore he has hobbies at home like building electronic stuff and programming. Just I see most of the time a stressed, angry and unhappy person coming home late from work radiating negativity. My parents admitted to me that they love me and only want the best for me. Well, it felt relieving to cry the whole evening. This morning while running tears came up again and made it hard to breath. It feels refreshing to have told them my idea about the gap year. I don't have to hide this anymore. I had this feeling for the whole day now. Did he change my mind? Yes. I will go to university and study for 5 years. He already asked and I told it to him. Maybe even my intuition tells it me now. I don't know. Right now it is hard to distinguish the voice of my ego and intuition. After school I partly relistened to the "Strategic Motherfucker" video and applied it. I still want to reach Enlightenment/sagehood/raising the quality of my consciousness and life purpose. But I guess I wanted to make a too big step from here to there. But this is very scary, even just the thought of it like I have seen in the past. Maybe taking multiple smaller steps towards my ultimate strategic intent would be better like getting a degree, building good habits, getting life experience, financial independence, working on my life purpose... I still have to deal with the lower levels of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Even Leo did not go from high school directly do actualized.org. I can learn the rather basic personal development material while going through university. I need to develop good habits, work ethic, deep work, communication skills, getting out of my comfort zone, life experience, applying wisdom... I can come to peace with the idea of going to university. Maybe the idea of the gap year was there just to let me come to this realization.

So let me bust up a riddim with some harmony I wanna tell you what I'm feeling but I can't you see The world is in trouble why can't we be A better example of humanity I'm always wondering what if the world I'm in Is another simulation of my soul within Feel like I'm frozen in, the walls are closing in I need to meditate inna me garden See when I was a youth I used to dance and sing Brainwashed from all the media and marketing Trying to get love for all my brass and bling All I ever really wanted was to just fit in But now I'm zoning in, I'm really honing in I elevate my mind and my soul within My deadly joker grin is bouncing off my chin Cause my mission is to spread the one loving When I look you up on Twitter and InstaGram All I ever get to see is all the glitz and glam But in the chatroom you're getting all aggressive man Stop pushing me around I'm not inside your pram I'm suicidal man, need some vitamins I'm drinking milk and honey with some cardamon I'm always gardening, I'm Groove Armadaring But I'm a-murdering the groove I'm superstyling Cause my consciousness is in the atmosphere While my 3D body sings inside your ear Making you swing left and right like a chandelier Beaming your chest with light till your mind is clear I'm always fighting fear I want your mind to hear The conscious soul that we bring my dear So let me slide in here, raise the vibes in here I could never let the room go silent I like this song. I feel cool when I move with the beats on my own in my room. I feel cool when I understand the lyrics and the meaning behind it. I feel cool that I don't listen to stupid pop music but to conscious stuff.

@Gabriel Antonio @Dragallur Now that you mentioned it, it seems obvious that I am fooling myself with this perspective. Having an opinion with radical open-mindedness would probably be better. I will participate in the next discussion in class even though I am not interested in the topic. Maybe I will just make something up just to get uncomfortable Actually I will only start the commitment in 10 days. (I thought about not writing this just to "not hurt you" because you was wrong with your assumption. ) That is good advice. I will remember this tomorrow morning. Right! I just didn't wanted to be seen as someone with a "bad" writing style. Obvious. Really obvious!

17/01/31, Tuesday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 11 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 11 1 (9am) green smoothie 2 (2pm) salad fruit plate 1/2 avocado apples with beet root nuts and seeds 3 (6pm) rice with Chinese cabbage and soy (2.5 plates) What I noticed Even though I ate breakfast I felt starving as if I didn't eat breakfast. Maybe because I was running in the morning I felt full after lunch not eating in the afternoon was alight. I had a desire to eat at some times but it was okay. I meditated until 15 minutes before dinner. So the first plate of dinner I ate relatively slowly and mindfully. What I will do tomorrow eating a bit less for lunch to not feel so full Did I challenge myself too much? No, it was alight. I am trying out a new morning routine which I want to implement after finishing these two habits. It will probably consist of getting up directly, a cold shower, meditation and some movement. I felt much better than usually. Now that I have a new school schedule three times a week school will only start at 10am. Visualization is much better and effective when I am alert.

Digestion, Poop, Farting, Burping (If you don't like to know the details, don't continue reading!) I never had a smooth digestion. When I still had a normal diet, the consistency of my poop was always relatively hard. But now with the mostly vegan diet the consistency changes often. For a few days I have a very soft poop reminds me a bit of diarrhea. It comes out very quickly and the pieces are rather small. Sometimes the poop has a good consistency, it has a normal form and I am ready in 1 minute. Other times it takes longer and I have to press a bit. But almost everytime it does not smell "pleasant." Well, poop normally does not smell pleasant but the poop of healthy vegans should not stink that much. My family always complains about the smell of my poop afterwards. The color changes also with what I eat. If I eat a lot of greens, it is rather green. If I eat beet root, it becomes rather violet-brown. And when I eat none of these things it is lighter brown. I also fart quite often, more often than normal people I guess. And my family also complains about that a lot. My farts stink more than anybody else's. It is expectable when I have eaten many beens the day before. But it is not normal to fart that often. And two weeks ago I started to burp more. It seems like farting is not enough anymore to get rid of the gas which gets produced in my digestive system. Before the day when it started I was eating very randomly and the combination of my meals was not optimal at all. The next day I was burping very often - but quietly. It seemed like the smell of those burps is not pleasant at all. My family complained about that it would smell like fish... I am happy that it is not that much anymore, but still I have to burp once in a while. I know that I have this problem with my digestion. I guess it is because of my food combination. I try to improve that once in a while but it does not work out yet. Everytime when I have eaten with a bad food combination I will recognize it the next morning. I will have this taste/smell of having eaten boiled eggs and that something has rotten inside of my stomach... This is embarrassing. I know nobody else of having such problems.

Honesty Since reading Radical Honesty - well, already prior to that - I had stuff that I didn't write here just because it is to embarrassing. I always thought that I should write it here to be really radically honest. I know here no one personal (almost) and this quantum could be anybody outside in the world. But still, I am repressing it. Now that I am writing a summary about Radical Honesty, I feel like I have to write about some of the stuff here. I will do it now! Forum Reputation In the early days of the forum I sometimes got some reputation points. This notification bell of getting reputation by someone was really cool and at some point the ego was really attached to it. I somehow was disappointed when I wrote a time consuming post which I liked and I got no reputation the next day. On the other hand when I got more reputation or general notifications I found it so cool that other people liked the stuff that I like. I remember that in September or October this got really bad. At some point I discovered that I could turn out this notification bell and change for what stuff I get a notification. This made it better a bit. Now I just get notifications when I get quoted or mentioned somewhere or when someone replies on this journal. But in secret I once in a while look at how much reputation I have under my name, who gave me the reputation and how much posts I already have. When I got these three points over my profile picture I felt very cool, superior or experienced. Then when I got four points - "whow, I am an expert!!" And eventually when I will get fife points I will be a master!!!!! I will be soo cool. And my reputation status is "Unbelievable!" And what I also look at is the ratio between my reputation and posts. For each post I get more than one reputation - 465 likes / 441 posts = 1.05 likes/post. My ego doesn't want this ratio get below one. And when I see other members who are much more active but have a lower ratio I feel cool. Thinking about what cool stuff to write here When I do something or have a little insight my monkey mind thinks about what I could write here, how to formulate it, bla bla bla. If I have the time to, I immediately turn on my computer and write about it. Afterwards it often feels not as good as I imagine. But if I wait for a bit I feel like what I thought about isn't relevant at all. Somewhen I November or December I didn't wrote much because of that, but only once a week. I didn't want to look like some fool who writes every little detail down. Comments on my posts When I get some encouraging posts, compliments, advice or other kinds of comments I feel also cool. People are actually reading the shit I write and find it valuable! Changing my profile picture and name I thought about this a while ago. I would kind of change my identity on the forum and would not get too attached to the idea of the superior quantum. Quantum is actually just a name I came up with while studying a bit of physics and astronomy. It sounded cool but have never used it before. The first profile picture I had was just a picture I quickly found on a google picture search. And the current one I found on a album cover of a band which seemed to make spiritual music. And I liked the image because of the lack of a face/identity. Maybe I will change it soon to something totally meaningless and uncool just to get rid of this self-image of my account in my mind. Feeling attacked I easily feel attacked when someone disagrees with my opinion and gives arguments which I cannot directly disprove. I liked my new "perspective-less perspective" because therefore I didn't had to disprove any arguments. Writing style I recognized that in my writing style in English I use often words like really, quite, even, definitively, very or totally. I find these words cool but they are so generalizing or exaggerated. I use them so often that they have no real meaning anymore. I want to change that. I don't know if this change is useful or necessary but I will become more mindful about my use of certain words. I also noticed that I use often "but" and too many commas. In German we use more often commas to separate parts of sentences from each other. I like them and therefore use them more often in English although it is not grammatically right to use them so often. In school we learned the rule of thumb that if one isn't certain about whether to use a comma or not one shouldn't. Posting songs Sometimes I post here songs although I don't listen to them that much or have just discovered them only because I think their lyrics is sophisticated. But often I don't even listen to the lyrics... I know that there is more stuff to tell about this topic. Some stuff doesn't come to my mind right now and some I still repress because it is still too embarrassing. Well, maybe in the future.

17/01/30, Monday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 10 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 10 1 (7am) oat meal with banana and persimmon 2 (3pm) salad green smoothie nuts and seeds 3 (7pm) potatoes with brussle sprouts cucumber, grapes, carrot What I noticed I need to look that I don't trick myself and forget how I tricked myself in the past. To make this clear again: No more than 5 cashews, 2 Brazil nuts and no raisins (outside of an oat meal). I ate breakfast and felt bad as usually I ate the breakfast to make myself not eating between lunch and dinner to not waste so much time. It worked and wasn't hard to not eat in the afternoon. What I will do tomorrow not eat in the afternoon eating no oatmeal in the morning, fruit would be allowed Did I challenge myself too much? No. Now I also have no strong desire to eat. Visualizing in the morning when I am still tired and laying down in bed is not a good idea at all. I will drift away and almost fall back asleep. I will do it when I am alert in an upright position.

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17/01/29, Sunday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 9 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 9 1 (9am) oat meal with fruit and spelt milk - 3 bowls 2 (1:30pm) - in a typically German restaurant pumpkin soup with potatoes and bread (very salty) 3 (6pm) fruit plate nuts and seeds

17/01/28, Saturday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 8 Programming my Subconscious Mind (30min) - Streak 8 1 (7:30am) 1 banana, 2 apples 2 (1:30pm) - in a vegan, Japanese restaurant Miso-soup vegetables with rice 3 (6pm) potatoes with kidney beens and onions fruit with oat meal fruit cake I was very hungry in the evening.

17/01/27, Friday Eating only three meals and nothing in between - Streak 7 Programming my Subconscious Mind - Streak 7 1 Green smoothie 2 Vegetable soup - 2 plates Salad 3 Fruit salad Salad Not a normal day. And its hard to write this on my phone.