JKG

The Eurovision Song Contest (My mother is a big fan of the ESC. She talks with me about it, so I am good informed about this less relevant stuff) I think I start to understand which function the Eurovision Song Contest (ESC) serves. It is not only there for entertainment purposes. Its function is to keep Europe together, to make the people more tolerant, open to different cultures, different mentalities... Otherwise these attempts on uniting Europe is just on a political level, where the population is not really interested in and has no big impact on. Without the ESC I would forget that certain countries even exist in Europe because they are so small, especially in the eastern part of it. I would forget that there are very different cultures or mentalities. Without insight into other cultures the average German guy would think that every other country is structured the way Germany is. Germany is very organized and structured and based on stability and security. Little countries and minorities get represented by musicians so that they don't get forgotten. Cultures and mentalities get exchanged. The ESC is like a tool to get the population slowly to the green stage of spiral dynamics, without the people recognizing it. Through globalisation many of these European cultures get slowly destroyed and united/replaced with the western one. Here you can still see the cultures. Just the look of these musicians is different from the average German one. And the mentality probably too. This is my favorite song. I understand no word but the lyrics seems good if I look for translations. And the smile of this guy is handsome

How To Study I have noticed that I don't study effectively enough. I already study effectively but only on a relative level compared to the average lazy student. But I need to be more effective, efficient and productive. I want to spend as little time as possible on studying, but get the most value out of it. Then I can spend the rest of the time on other areas of my life and on enjoyable stuff. This is an important skill for my life especially in university and in the domain of my life purpose. These final exams will just be the preparation for further studying. My normal studying technique involves if possible only studying in the morning. I read the material, underline stuff, make notes, make my own summaries, write my summaries nicely down, and maybe practice with some exercises (depending on the subject) - but this doesn't apply to maths, mainly just chemistry and history. After I have my summaries I only look at them again, reread them... But I have noticed that from reading alone I get nothing. Especially in history I have to know all the facts and when I just read my attention is very low. So I have watched a few videos on studying: Maybe I will also rewatch Leo's video on this topic. And I have made notes. Some of the stuff I already apply. Here I will now write down what I have learned and want to implement into my studying habit: Spaced Practice - I normally study just in the morning, or before 12 o' clock. I want soon to study each day for 8x25min sessions. So I want to split them a bit out throughout the day, so that my brain already can connect the dots. Maybe 4 sessions in the morning, 2 in the afternoon and 2 in the evening. Spaced Repetition - Normally after making my summary sheet I don't revise the topic again often enough. So for the final exams I will make a list with all the topics, write there the date of the last repetition, and then look that I revise each topic often enough. Recall what you know - I will apply this with the point above. I will repeat the topic through recalling everything I know about the topic. Normally I open a text editor on my computer and just write everything down, because I can write pretty quickly on the computer. Then I will look at my notes and compare it. When I don't know something, I now know what I should repeat. Instant self tests - After I have finished with a minor topic in a series of pomodoro sessions, I will make this instant self test of recalling everything I have just learned. Maybe creating a concept map about it. Switching - I often spend too much time at one topic at once, until I understand it perfectly. But through studying a topic for less time I can firstly repeat more often, and also connect what I have learned at topic A, with what I will study next, topic B. Especially good with history. Asking, Explaining, Connecting - This is basically the Feynman technique. I will create this summary sheet where I try to explain everything, connect everything, and answer question. And if I am able to explain it very simply, I will try to explain it my 10 year old sister - the ultimate test.

17/03/21, Tuesday Eating no snacks - Streak 5 Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 3 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 2 Concentration practice (twice) - Streak 3 Gratitude (5min) - Streak 6 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 14 Getting up directly - Streak 28 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 28 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 31

A School Day - 8 I've had the morning free. I had a smoothie after my morning routine and then started studying at about 7:30am. I did three pomodoro sessions of history. I studied how Bismarck had formed several confederations between all these states in Europe to keep a balance of power, to isolate France and to prevent a two-front-war of France and Russia against the German Empire. Bismarck was a clever guy! Then at 10am I had physics class. We revised stuff from the years before. It was kind of boring. But somewhere there was a poster about the Nobel price 2017 in Chemistry. These guys have discovered molecules that act like machines. Very cool. Then I had two maths classes and we just did some old practice exams. I firstly practiced linear algebra and it was kind of boring. At the end I just skipped exercises because they were too easy. In the lunch break I stayed in school, listened to 432hz studying binaural beats and did another promodoro session of history, now about the colonial politics of Bismarck. I think it is better to have shorter studying sessions throughout the day. Then my mind can process the information in the long breaks. The rest of the break I spend reading an emotional healing post on this forum. Together with the music I felt joyful when I walked to the next class. In computer science we watched two videos. They were in English, the guys talked very fast and about some technical stuff I did not understand at all. When the teacher explained it I understood it. It was about BGP protocols which seem to manage the whole Internet. The Internet stuff is a cool thing. How so many things can be communicated just through ones and zeros through a physical cable. It is still a mystery to me how this can work. But at some point in the class I was so tired and bored about this topic. I started to question if computer science is the right subject for me to study. Network stuff is not really my favorite topic. But then I thought about all the other great stuff I can eventually do with computer science. At some point towards the end of the lessons I got an insight. Our whole lives are regulated by systems, networks and structures of different kinds. We need to understand how these systems work and apply this knowledge to live a good life. These systems, networks, structures or whatever you might call it could be something like the Internet, the government, politics, the European Union, economics, schools, habits, family structures, social networks, webs of beliefs, road traffic department. Examples: It is obvious that the Internet is a network. It has to be constantly looked over to make sure that it functions. But you also have to understand how it works. Another system could be a car. The engine has to work a certain way, you have to look after the car and when problems arise you have to repair it. Otherwise it will not fulfill its function of transporting stuff. There are also organizations which regulate the behavior of the population. In schools children get educated so that they know for example that Hitler was bad and that nationalisticalism was terrible, it should never happen again. Or children in primary school learn what "healthy" (in their minds) nutrition is. Or the beliefs of a big part of the population get influenced by stupid television programs. Or governmental organizations try to prevent terrorism. Sometimes they succeed, sometimes they fail because of flaws in the system. Our whole life is influenced by various of these systems. I am just a part of many big wholes. And if something in my life doesn't work out, I have to study these systems which regulate my life, and find ways to make the system work again. In our whole education we basically just learn about different systems. I don't know if I one can understand this explanation, but for me it makes perfect sense. After school I went running, showered, watched videos about effective studying, ate dinner, and now write this stuff. Later I'll read a bit, and then go to bed. Oh shit, I just realized that I forgot to meditate. I'll have to prioritize that now. Bye.

Oh yes. In a conversation she talks like 90% of the time because I have nothing important to say to her. I am just the one who says: Yes, uh, okay, I can understand, etc.

A School Day - 7 In the morning I firstly had chemistry class. Unexpectedly we got the exams back and I didn't want to. I felt like I would get a not so good grade. But then I got my exam back, looked at the grade and couldn't believe it. 14 points! I was the best one of the course. I didn't expect this after thinking about all the stuff that I could have made wrong. Well, it turned out to be mostly right. If I only got 2 points more I would have 15 points! But one friend only got 7 points and was very disappointed. She even cried and I kind of felt bad because I said that I have an A. I can understand her. She worked really hard and it didn't pay off. In her situation I would act the same way. She just has so low self-esteem in certain fields of her life... The rest of the lessons we talked about the exam. I was relatively bored but somehow I had a nervousness inside of me. At home I am always more relaxed than in public. In the third period I had social science and we talked about the referendum in Turkey. Erdogan is really trying to become this dictator, with Hitler as a role model. I have no idea about politics and news, but I found this stuff interesting. In history I hoped to get the exam back, but no. Instead he just talked about the DDR. But something embarrassing happened. Not really embarrassing, but in the moment it was embarrassing. I wanted to answer that in a contract the territorial borders were set. But somehow I wasn't able to say "territorial." Another time I said again something wrong, which was very obvious. In maths we also got unexpectedly the exam back. And hey, I got 15 points and again was the best of the course. I was exactly at the edge to 14 points, but my teacher "searched" for one more point and then gave me one point more, so that I got 15 points! And again we just talked mainly about the exam, again kind of boring. We also got our oral grades (it is called this way?) and there I got 14 points. That means that if I participate a little bit more I will get 15 points on the certificate! In the lunch break I got home, ate lunch, and studied for an hour history. Then at 4pm I had physical education. We ended our normal classes and for the rest of the time we will just practice dancing for the prom. We danced "Discofox". We did the lessons together with another course. And in the two courses combined there were much more females than males. So I pared up with a "friend" and I took the male role. I kind of felt a bit stupid dancing and we also didn't do it so well. But at some point it made a bit fun and we learned some stuff. Dancing for an hour was more demanding than I thought. At the end I asked my teacher which grade I would get. 9 points. Normally I got 10 points, but I don't care much about this one point. Physical education is not an important subject for me. But the "friend" only got 6 points (D+) and she got so pissed off. I can understand her arguments and also the arguments of the teacher. But I think the teacher was rather right. She does not really participate, so I think her grade is fine. I am just astonished about how angry she became and let the anger out on me talking so negatively and just complaining. Do I attract such people? At home I meditated for an hour, which was not very successful because of a lot of monkey mind about the day. Then I ate dinner, read a bit, played with my sister and then will go to bed.

17/03/20, Monday Eating no snacks - Streak 4 Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 2 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 1 Concentration practice (twice) - Streak 2 Gratitude (5min) - Streak 5 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 13 Getting up directly - Streak 27 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 27 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 30 I think habits are the most important things one should do at the beginning of one's self-actualization journey. Now that I am committed to transform them, self-actualization becomes easier and it finally works out. Why didn't I start doing this 3 years ago? I would be far more developed than now. But hey, I am 18 and on this track. Other people start it in their thirties or forties. I am very blessed to know about this from this young age on.

17/03/19, Sunday Eating no snacks - Streak 3 Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 2 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 0 Concentration practice (twice) - Streak 1 Gratitude (5min) - Streak 4 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 12 Getting up directly - Streak 26 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 26 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 29 I simply forgot that I shouldn't eat while watching Leo's new video. And I also saw that I have tricked myself. After dinner I take some nuts with me into my room and eat them while watching videos or something like that. But that is against the rule "eating without additional stimulation."

Love I am currently reading Taming Your Gremlin and wow. At the beginning I didn't expect that it will be so good. I just did an exercise where you imagine a loved one. I chose my sister. I saw the beauty of her face and her smile. She can express her joy so beautifully. I love it when she smiles with this special smile. And I have felt a lot of love, much more than normally. I realized how much I appreciate her. She is perfect the way she is, and I just want to accept her the way she is. I want to be there for her and help her. I eventually want to lead her onto the path of self-actualization just out of love. I want her to also experience there feelings of joy, unconditional love, happiness... I want to do this exercise also with other people. With my family members, but also people ouside of my family to feel this unconditional love. I always had in my mind that I am not grateful enough for my family and my circumstances. But now I really want to appreciate it. I am currently listening to this music and also watch the video. And oh shit. Life it so beautiful. I am so grateful. Life is the greatest gift and I already have it! Sometimes I feel like life is too beautiful to appreciate all of it. I need to take the time to appreciate it. Slow down. Doing less, acting slower, applying more, loving more, feeling more alive. Less quantity, more quality.

Concentration This is the video that I have needed for a long time. Most of my time I have spent in monkey-mind-mode. I have trouble concentrating when I try to inquire. I have trouble concentrating on mindfulness meditation. So a few weeks ago I started practicing the mindfulness meditation daily with the aim to improve my concentration. My concentration ability was so weak that I had trouble even to stay with an object for a few seconds. Now it has improved a little bit. I am able to stay with objects for maybe 10 to 20 seconds and don't drift away too often while switching the objects. It still happens but I am able to concentrate more. I still have trouble concentrating while doing inquiry stuff. Yesterday in neti neti meditation most of my time was spend thinking about social stuff - look at the post above. I tried to contemplate what I really am, while in this weak state of not knowing what I am. But then my mind came up with imaginary conversations. I want to implement the habit of this concentration technique in the morning and in the evening, maybe also at midday. I think my aim now should be to be able to reach this state of access concentration, or whatever Leo called this. Then I will be able to be much more effective at inquiry sessions. Combined with meditating at a time of the day when I am most mentally alert will make a big difference. More high quality meditation will be the key. I have tested out the best time of the day to meditate for a few weeks. I think the time for me should be around 10am to 1pm, depending on my current state.

17/03/18, Saturday Eating no snacks - Streak 2 Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 1 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 11 Gratitude (5min) - Streak 3 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 11 Getting up directly - Streak 25 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 25 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 28

The Need for Appreciation by teachers I just had to fight with my mind a bit. Really embarrassing stuff is going on in my mind in the last week and days. I don't really want to write it here because it is so embarrassing. At least I guess so. But hey, I am just human and I just have weird fantasies like probably anybody else. Lets be honest. I still hesitate writing this... Emotional labor! Well, I think a lot about my history teacher. In the past I also thought often about my Latin teacher (6th grade) and my physics teacher (10th grade). So what do I think? I often imagine conversations with him. For example I think about the next history lesson when he will probably give me and a friend the exam back. Then he will explain what we did well and where to improve. And at some point I imagine saying something like: "Now you can boast with the A-average of the exam." I think my ego wants to be noticed by him. When I walk around in school and see him my ego just wants to be noticed by him. There were some instances where he did notice me. About two weeks ago in the lunch break I walked to a table group and he came by. He stopped me, asked me something, and then I should come with him into his office. There he told me all the stuff for the exam and wrote it onto a piece of paper... Or last Monday in the morning he asked me if I had understood everything for the exam, because the lesson before I had asked him about a topic. Only me and a friend write the final exam in history. Most of the people from our course have only an oral exam in history. So often he gives us two more advices for the exam. Or a few weeks ago my sister got registered at my school. He was also there and he got into a conversation with my father. And he said something like: "You daughter has some problems in history but in comparison to others these problems are very minor," and also something that my average grades are very high. But I felt a little bit offended hearing that he told my father that I'd have problems in history. Yesterday before the exam I asked him how much margin I should leave on the papers. He answered that the normal margin is enough, because I don't make many mistakes - just something like three spelling mistakes on a page. My ego liked that. I like his way of teaching. I admire his life experience and how good he can talk to people. I like his stories and most of his opinions. His body is also relatively attractive - well he is in his 50s but still. For his age he is in really good shape. Just sometimes he spits while speaking because he speaks so fast and much. He has success in his life. A good social life, a good career (in some way a life purpose) and financial security. I am not sexually attracted to him, but I like him, admire him, want to be recognized an appreciated by him. But the fact that school will end in three weeks is therefore sad for my mind. Then I will see him only seldom, and after I have graduated high school almost never again... My mind will eventually get over him, like it did with the other teachers. All of this sounds so wrong and weird.

A School Day - 6 In the morning I woke up as usual and did my usual morning routine. I ate a buckwheat oatmeal although it was a against my "habit rules." I started to feel a little bit nervous because of the history exam. Normally in history exams I know all the facts like 99% well. But this time this was hard to manage because of lack of time because of other exams and because we had to know three topics and not one as normally. I also had to know how to analyze every type of historic source. Then I biked to school. I arrived a little bit to late. Most of the students were already in the room and only a few places were left. Normally I choose a place at the window, but now I had to choose another one. In the room we wrote together with other students who wrote maths exams. My teacher was also already there and he gave me and a friend (only we two from our course wrote an exam) the two exams. We had 3 hours time plus 30 additional minutes to choose which exam to write. The first exam he handed to me was a caricature - the kind of source I don't like and have never practiced before. I remember that on the carton was Uncle Sam and Stalin. Uncle Sam talked like a big father to little children, which were probably the politicians from western Germany, and Stalin talked to the politicians from eastern Germany. The second exam was a speech from Joachim Gauck (Germany's (almost former) President) from 27. January 2015. This date is the international memorial day for the killed Jews in Europe. The speech was about the memory culture in Germany, how it developed, and he gave an appeal to the younger generations to take responsibility... I don't like caricatures, I like primary sources and liked the topic of memory culture more, so I wasted no time and directly chose the second exam. The exam went pretty well. The text was easy to understand and my analysis was relatively detailed. After 1.5 hours I was done with the analysis and continued with the second task, which was about explaining the historical context. After 45 minutes I was done with that. In the meantime my teacher came into the room and asked how far I am and if I had questions. It would have been better if he came a bit later because for task two I had no questions but later for task three I had some. In task three I had to question if the opinion of Gauck about the younger generations was realistically. After some thinking I had some ideas in my mind and was able to write a good answer. After the exam I was kind of happy but also exhausted. I talked with the other students about there exams. Then I had computer science. We talked about Bitcoin which as interesting. But I was very very tired. I was happy when the school day was over. I biked home, ate a salad and then tried to take a 30 minute nap because I was still very tired. It felt like the burden of the pre-final exams was finally away. After the nap I went running and then meditated for 1.3 hours. Then it was almost evening and I picked up my sister from a friend with the car. Then I ate dinner and read Our Inner Ape until I was too sleepy. At the same time the party of my year started, but I didn't go there. I like sleep more than partying.

17/03/16, Friday Eating no snacks - Streak 1 Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 0 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 10 Gratitude (5min) - Streak 2 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 10 Getting up directly - Streak 24 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 24 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 27

The End of School I have realized yesterday that... What did I even realize? Today in two weeks I will never have chemistry class with my normal chemistry teacher again. I will have only three classes of normal English classes. Only six classes of physical education - but I am happy about that! Only 9 classes of history. Only 15 classes of maths... And the teachers also talk about it. With our physics teacher we will go eating ice creme in our last physics lesson. In physical education we will no longer play volleyball, but practice classical dancing for our prom. Everywhere we just repeat the whole stuff and do nothing new anymore, except for German and history. It will be so strange to not be around those stupid people anymore. I will miss some of the teachers and being around my school "friends." I am scared of getting into this mode of "social isolation" where every day just is the same, I do not much different, am just around my family each day... And then I will start to miss school and like in the school breaks I will wait for the day that school will begin again. But this day will never come... Never. I will be in nostalgia, thinking about these good times in school. Having fun with the people there, having social contacts... I can already imagining myself in the future reading this post and thinking back about these times at school. I will never get this back again. Never. (except for if I fail at the final exams very hard and get 0 points at one) Only 16 school days. Only 11 normal ones. Shit. It is crucial that I make a plan for the time after school. I don't want to get into this depressive mode. On the last day of school I will apply the pre-mortem technique and will make a plan and goals. But first things first. Lets get over the history exam tomorrow. The last pre-final exam. Then there are only the 4 final exams left. Scary.

17/03/16, Thursday Eating no snacks - Streak 0 Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 1 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 9 Gratitude (5min) - Streak 1 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 9 Getting up directly - Streak 23 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 23 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 26

17/03/15, Wednesday Eating a light raw breakfast - Streak 0 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 8 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 8 Getting up directly - Streak 22 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 22 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 25

I think "Eating only when and only as much food as my body needs" is to much at the moment. I already struggle at the beginning of the day with the breakfast. I will change it to "Eating a light raw breakfast." That means fruits or a smoothie but no oatmeal stuff like I do at the moment.

17/03/14, Tuesday Eating only when and only as much food as my body needs - Streak 0 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 7 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 7 Getting up directly - Streak 21 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 21 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 24 I ate nuts after dinner although I was pretty full. My body didn't need it!

@Marc Schinkel great metaphor! I have observed myself trying to show my higher status in class because I am smarter than the average. But then when I cannot prove my superiority I kind of feel like this baby who's "security blanket" was taken away. Power when lost can create great suffering. Female apes have a more even hierarchy. They rather depend on solidarity. I can see within my high school that the female hierarchy thinking is not that strong. But around those "cool" girls I can clearly see their need for power or acceptance. They think their status depends on having a boyfriend, having a lot and expensive clothes, make-up, having other "cool" friends...

17/03/13, Monday Eating only when and only as much food as my body needs - Streak 0 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 6 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 6 Getting up directly - Streak 20 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 20 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 23 I ate an oat meal for breakfast although I was not particularly hungry, fruit would have been enough. At lunch I ate after the salad a smoothie although I was already satisfied with the salad. In the afternoon I snacked cake. This will be harder than I thought. Tomorrow morning I will eat some fruit after 4 promodoro sessions of studying. For lunch the salad will be enough. In the afternoon I will have to do enough so that I will overcome the temptation to snack. And at dinner I might eat two plates of whatever. Otherwise everything else is working well.

Today was a really nice day. An awesome day. I now only have to concentrate on studying history. I write the exam on Friday and already feel well prepared. Today I have done 6 promodoro sessions. I finished writing down my notes for 1945-1949 and just have to revise them once in a while to get all the facts into my mind. Then I started looking what I have to study for commemorative culture about the Nazi time. I don't like that topic. I was sick when we did this in class, so I just have the facts from our book. Well, I have to ask my teacher tomorrow. At some point I didn't wanted to study anymore. I felt still alert and went into the tree house at about 11am to meditate. I firstly did 15 minutes of mindfulness meditation and then 1 hour of neti neti. I didn't got that deep because I got kind of disrupted. I have hay fever at the moment and the mucus running down the nose is a bit annoying. When I went back into the house I felt like its time to eat. I made myself my Sunday buckwheat porridge like always. After that I watched a bit of Leos new video. Surprisingly my concentration level didn't go down today. I was relatively alert even after the meal and although in the early afternoon I always get sleepy. The whether was gorgeous and I went outside into the sun and to read. Then I went in-line skating while listening to Leos video. It was like pure joy. The sky was totally blue, the temperatures were nice, I could hear the birds, I was moving, I got new inspirations... I got so much energy. And Leos video was just perfect. On my way back home I skated onto a little "hill" and got a lot of speed while skating down. I felt like a little child and remembered playing on this hill with my childhood fried driving there down with out wave-boards. Back home I went into the garden and tried to contemplate. I chose love as the object because I felt love at that moment. I already had a little bit of success. Then I went back inside because I felt like I could get a little sunburn. I went into my sisters room because she was away and there is a nice location to read. What I also did this afternoon was reading a part of Neti Neti Meditation and trying to apply it directly, because I feel like I go over these areas in the actual meditation just on the surface. So I tried to deeply feel that I am not the body, not even located in the head. I looked at my values and strengths again and updated them a little bit. And I visualized stuff for about half an hour. I did it more deeply than my usual morning visualization. Life will just become so amazing and fulfilling. And I socialized a little bit with the family, concentrating a little bit on contemplating love and relationships. This contemplation stuff is very inspiring. I already got many ideas on what I want to contemplate: love realtionship color sound feeling emotions artificial intelligence belief knowledge mathematics life my life purpose the meaning of life my true nature etc.

Top 10 Values Peace of Mind Physical Well-Being Connection Productivity/Progress Understanding Arete Clarity Purification Freedom/nature Contribution Top 5 Strengths Hope, Optimism, Future-mindedness Curiosity and Interest in the World Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence Perspective Wisdom Spirituality, Sense of Purpose, Faith

17/03/12, Sunday Eating only when and only as much food as my body needs - Streak 1 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 5 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 5 Getting up directly - Streak 19 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 19 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 22 I ate at 9:30am breakfast (1 apple, 1 pear, 1 banana), at 1pm lunch (buckwheat porridge), at 4pm a snack (1 avocado with 1 tomato) and dinner at 7pm (potatoes, sweet potatoes, parsnips). At all occasions I had some sort of hunger. I woke up a few minutes before my alarm went on. That was cool.

17/03/11, Saturday Eating breakfast, lunch, dinner - Streak 0 Eating without additional stimulation - Streak 4 Dorsiflexion exercises - Streak 4 Getting up directly - Streak 18 Mindfulness Meditation (15min) - Streak 18 Programming my Subconscious Mind (15min) - Streak 21 (!!!!!) Well, I ate 5 pieces of cake and feel terrible afterwards. Always I tell myself "never again." I think about changing this "Eating breakfast, lunch, dinner." Sometimes the circumstances just don't fit together with this regiment. And I still overeat sometimes. Maybe it would be better to eat only when I really feel like I want or need to eat and only as much as my body needs. That will be harder because sometimes it feels just good to really overeat. I love it while doing it and getting just unconscious. Maybe "Eating only when my body needs food and only as much as my body needs." It is just highly subjective and I can easily fool myself. To prevent that I should meditate for 5 minutes and listen to my body. And I got this intuition that I should try to quit eating gluten in maybe one year. I often feel so heavy and bad after eating grain products. But first I want to do intermittent fasting again and other stuff. I love it to see myself making progress and also failing. Although I have never reached the 21 Streak at any of those eating habits my habits have improved. And I really love the programming the subconscious mind habit. My mindset has been very positive in the last weeks. I feel like I will really work towards my life purpose.