Never_give_up

I have an asocial brain(, probably autistic if the psychiatrists that examined me were right), I am slow thinker, non creative, not smart, not good memory, I am super great at analyzation as far as I can tell but that's all I am good at. All these have serious implications like not being able to relate or talk to others, not having humour, being humiliated in social interactions if a bully disrespect you and don't know how to act. And generally not being able to think quick solutions in daily matters that require fast flexibility. I am short, I can't work cause of autism (i am on welfare that is super low money, although I am greatful for it of course). I was bullied and now I can't function properly (i don't want to remember the painful trauma details). I am also super short 167 cm (5'6 I think). I asked how to have a girlfriend on this forum months ago, I lost a lot of weight although I have a long way to go, but I start to slowly realize that I am not going to have a girlfriend. Hope and encourangement is good but some people just weren't meant to have relationships. I mean, it's a neurological problem, not a matter of self fufiling prophecy and lack of trying. Today I saw my crush with another guy and I felt both relief and sadness. If everyone is ONE then some lifetimes were meant to live this situation. When you have a ton of things to communicate to a person, my non creative mind is blank, it literaly can't find anything to talk about. It's not anxiety or lack of skills, it's an innate biological blank brain. I like drawing and I can't even imagine anything to draw, I don't have aphantasia but it's pretty close to it I think. I don't think I will ever find a girlfriend and that's ok if you know how to cope, but I don't know how to cope that well, I need help. I am kind of embarassed to talk to that to my psychologist but I may will talk about it, but other people's opinions is a good thing. ''Just practice'' doesn't work to me, I know people that give that advice have good intentions and I appreciate their advice but this is not a typical situation. So... how to live without romantic love?

I just learned something really scary. After you lose a lot of weight (like I do), your body increase hunger and make you less satisfied in order to go back to the weight you started, maybe even more. And it takes a lot of time till the body gets used to your new weight as the normal. So what can someone do in order not to regain the weight he lost, since the hunger is going to be very strong....?

@Judy2I have many things that make me happy, but there are some random parts of the day that I really wish I had a relationship. People tell me I shouldn't give up and it makes me hopeful but on the other hand I don't understand what I should do, I am confused, I have no guidance. Normal advice won't work for my atypical brain.

I need to find a solution to my obssesive need of understanding reality. It could be as simple as finding a hobby (assuming that's a solution). Or it could be ''stop thinking these thoughts till they no longer come to you''... I don't know, anything that could help. I really believe I can overcome this need, all I need is guidance

@CredSo how do I understand that a woman is autistic? and how do I interact with her?

There are many things I disagree with in this forum but I am reluctant to express them. I agree with 95% of the things in this forum but the rest 5% I don't. This forum gives me so many good things so I don't want to get banned or disliked for expressing opinions that most people would disagree here. I am like that in real life too, most of the time I used to get misunderstood or attacked after expressing a carefully examined opinion, so I keep my opinions for myself. After all, people label you with labels associated with wrong narratives about you even if you have never said anything to indicate that. Look at Leo for example, he is saying his truths and people label him as a cult leader. You can literally say something accurate with good intentions cause you arrived at a truth, and people will literally demonize you for it. I am probably autistic so I don't understand when it's appropriate to lie or tell the truth and I used to assume that everyone wanted the truth instead of lies.

Why not being more dumb and chaotic, this would be more unbiased and normal. I wouldn't like it, I like it the way it is now, but that doesn't mean it makes sense.

My favorite is Lovely Complex, cause it's a great romantic story and a lot of fun

I for example, want to: 1)develop sense of humour 2)be more masculine 3)be more social 4)be more independent 5)become an artist 6)learn Japanese 7)build a good looking body

it seems no amount of willpower will win an addicted brain.

yeah, I was alone. But I have life purpose now so it didn't hurt too much

Not having high IQ means being slow thinker, not having sense of humour, not being creative or have smart answers and a lot of other problems. I can't lie to this forum, I don't have very good IQ at least not in most aspects of intelligence. So I wonder if there is a way to approach a woman I like that I see often or ''low IQ'' people are destined to be unnatractive... ? I see her in traditional dancing twice per week.

I was searching about determinism and I saw Leo's videos. I don't remember when, probably 8 years ago. Then I went to deeper topics watching Leo's videos. I haven't done mushrooms or any other psychedelic but when I go to Holland I will do truffles.

I am old but for various reasons I am dependent on other people. Some of this reasons are that I have asperger and that I had psychological problems that made me not able to become independent. I want to change that. I study japanese on the internet to go to Japan in some years and I also learn art with a teacher. But I am so scared of becoming independent, I don't think I can do it but I also I prefer to risk it all to do it than be dependent all my life and also what happens when the people I am dependent to, leave this world? So... how do I become independent. How do I become social and not shy and outgoing (important skills), how do i know who to call and how to fix things in life in daily activities and in my house, how do I know how to navigate life ? I am so confused and scared. I know it's shameful, humiliating and embarassing that I am dependent at old age but this is my situation and hiding it won't do me any good. Please don't shame me, I am already in deep shaming myself. The plan is 1)study japan 2)take Visa to japan for studying at university 3)getting Visa to work after finishing university. I won't stay in my country forever, I don't change that desicion. So... How to make it? How a person with difficulties becomes independent? How to be able to be an adult if you find it difficult cause of personal issues? Thanks in advance. I really want to do this, I am so scared but also will try very very hard to make it, cause I want it really badly.

It's like you try to understand something, only to reach the conclusion that you cant understand it. At least that's what I thought after seeing the deconstructing rationality part 1 video.

I am 31 years old (in 4 days), 167 cm , male, and I weight 78 kg. I went to a calculating site, and if I remember correctly it told me that 8-10% body fat for my height is 53.5 kg (maybe a little more with some muscle). I workout probably 1 hour 40 minutes per day (3 hours but most of it is break), 1 hour is running and 40 minutes are mostly weight lifting, and rest day at Saturday so I do only 1 hour running. I eat 1750 calories per day but it's really difficult for me to eat like that cause I am full at 1200 calories most of the time. I am fat cause I was addicted to food eating way more calories than i should but now that I fell in love with someone and that I added vegetables and fish I am starting to lose weight and don't feel addicted at all, I already lost 4 kg (it's not water as far as i know). But losing weight takes time, and I wonder if I will be able to reach 53.5 kg in 7 to 14 months provided that I eat 1750 calories per day...? Also when should I reduce the calories and how much? I think of reducing 50 calories every 5 kg I lose (at 75kg for example), but I don't know if it's healthy or the right amount to reduce. Also I was 69kg for a time cause of diet but I gained all of it back and more. But I didn't eat vegetables back then or was in love so the eating addiction started. So what are the chances of taking the weight back again, why this thing with weight gaining what you lost happens? I can't wait to be thin. At last I found a way to lose weight and I really want to know when I will reach my goal .

Warning: this is depressive you may not have the friends you'd like, the family you'd like, the health you'd like, the job you'd like, not being able to attract the people you are attracted to, not have the features you'd like, not living in a place you'd like, not having the experience you'd like, the money or respect you'd like. Add the suffering if you live in bad enviroment or/and bad people or have health problems, or mental illness. And then even if everything goes great maybe you are getting older and all the fun is gone, all the beauty is gone, all the hormones are gone, all the health and power is gone. Or there are young people that experienced everything fun and now there is no novelty, the same routine everyday. And all the desires we have that we never get them, and our souls cry that we don't have what we want. Even if you meditate and eliminate most desires, still you have no fun, you are just neutral I see people that have important things that I don't have and I want to cry. Why they have everything and I have nothing. Even them aren't nessecary happy but I suppose there is a tiny minority that is extremely happy and have everything. I don't want them to be sad, I just want to be happy like them. I am sad. I don't see any way out. My cope in life was philosophy, now that I don't find philosophy fun any more and don't want to think so much anymore, I no longer have anything to live for. I try to do art but I am very very bad at it so the fun isn't there. I don't know why should I keep living anymore. I really wish there is an afterlife cause I really want to go there(and pray it will be a good one, maybe with a lot of fun and happiness). I almost get happy thinking that there maybe some new life if things end. Maybe it's better this way. But I don't know even if reincarnation is real although I tend to believe it is, still I am not sure. I am just breathing, I am not living. Do you ever feel like life is not worth living?

@Someone hereso I should just take action. True , but I am so scared and shy to do it, but I have to. So I have a problem, I ask people, I search on internet, I take precautions, I try things. In the end I just do it. So hard cause I am scared and embarassed , but it seems that's the solution. Thank you, I will do it!

@Someone hereI have and he helps me become independent but my whole life he was an abusive person. Beatings, punishments, emotional abuse and other horrible stuff. Add to that my autism and other mental problems no wonder I am on welfare, but I need to change. But he is more relaxed now, he is not abusive, at least not to that horrible level. So whenever I tell him to show me something he shows me. It's mostly my mother that helps me and give responsibilities. I never had a good father model, never will, but that's life, I was unlucky to have these people as parents. I love them but after all that abuse I also hate them. Anyway, this is about responsibilities and independence not about my abuse and parents. Thank you so much for the reply.

I go to certain clubs lately and socialize more than i have ever done in my whole life and I already meet a lot of people and women too. Most women ignore me but some are very polite and want to talk to me. It's like what Leo says that socializing gives you the opportunity to meet many people. I start to think that some day I am going to meet a woman and get to know her naturally and maybe it will evolve in something more. It almost seems not that difficult anymore (but time will tell). Is my intuition right? Is socialization the key to meet women and have a relationship?

I am addicted to many things too, but I stopped my eating addiction when I fell in love and had a strong desire to become independent (cause I am dependent on other people to live but I want to change that). My internet addiction and some other addictions are way better now cause of love. I am super motivated to change my life cause I feel I am not worthy of love from certain women when I eat unhealthy, am dependent or am addicted to things. I don't know if it is the same for women, but for men I think love is the biggest motivation to become a better person in every area of life. It's sad I didn't had this motivation all my life but better late than never. I run everyday 1 hour never missing a day because when I run I think about a woman I love even if she doesn't care about me. In summary. I don't know if it will help you but personally love is my biggest motivation in life (and becoming independent) and I wouldn't be able to escape my addictions or at least weaken them significally , if I relied only on discipline. (Also my eating addiction stoped when I started to eat healthy foods mostly with low calories that makes my stomach full.) Love is my meaning in life. I have other passions too but love is probably the strongest force to quit addictions. I am going to say something controversial but I don't think people can quit addictions in an enviroment with triggers of these addictions if they have not some other strong force to make them stop. I am still addicted to things, but not that much.

I think you can expose yourself to more responsibilities little by little and having goals, that way what seems painful now may not feel really painful anymore, just little uncomfortable. To be honest, I used to avoid pain and that was not a good life, but when I fell in love with a woman (that doesn't even notice me ) I became motivated and what felt painful just became uncomfortable. Maybe you don't have enough motivation? My life started to change when I found motivation: love for a woman, and a desire to become independent. I don't feel like I could help you but just in case you are in the same situation as me, it's motivation that you need in order to fall in love with life and not avoid pain. I don't know what's more powerful motivation than love, at least for men, I don't know if it's different for women. In summary, having motivation makes painful things not painful anymore and life becomes amazing.

Do I have to meet a thousand if i am not relative that attractive?

I am very feminine man (sensitive, don't like to lead and things like that) and no woman is attracted to me either. I think there needs to be a balance, but I get what you are saying.

100% Switch 96% Submissive 85% Primal (Prey) 81% Exhibitionist 72% Non-monogamist 67% Ageplayer 57% Experimentalist 49% Voyeur 45% Vanilla 38% Slave 35% Dominant 32% Degradee 24% Rope bunny 20% Primal (Hunter) 15% Brat 14% Owner 13% Pet 3% Degrader 3% Master/Mistress 0% Rigger 0% Brat tamer 0% Daddy/Mommy 0% Little 0% Masochist 0% Sadist == Results from bdsmtest.org: == https://bdsmtest.org/r/BgE4hz7S