Never_give_up

I am ashamed of writing this but I hope this community won't judge me. I don't like my role as a man. I don't want to die at wars, protect, provide. I don't want to fight other men for stupid reasons. I want to have fun. I want to be cared and yes even protected. I want to have fun like women do. Even sexually I am very submissive. I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel if I pretend that I don't want all these things I actually am not real to myself and if I try to act as a man I dysfunction. I am straight and have some masculine traits but not many. I am more of a woman than a man. I swear if I could switch my gender I would do it but with current technology we can't do that completely so there is no way I will become a trans (I am not saying trans women aren't women but that's my personal opinion). How do I live in this harsh world that doesn't understand men like me. Most people try to shame me for not being a manly man and the rest don't care. I mean it's good they don't care , it's their choice, but what do I do? Does any other man feel like me or I am an exception? I have never heard of any other man say stuff like this even online, so I don't know how this will be percieved, I am kinda anxious posting this. I am even ashamed to talk like this to my psychologist, but I will probably take the step and do it.

I tried so hard to make art using my imagination. But the only thing I can is to copy things from life or internet pictures (and I am not good enough in that either). I really wanted to become an artist but nature didn't give me the right genes. I am talented in informatics (I don't know informatics, we did informatics in high school and I just was really talented at it), the only thing that I am talented in. But I don't like informatics just cause I am good at it. I like art. I really wish I was someone else. Not a low IQ autistic uncreative guy. I am powerless, when others get creative ideas my own mind is just blank. I had no meaning in life, art became my meaning. But I am not good at it. So I have no meaning in life now that I am going to do drawing just for a hobby. All I can think is Leo's video The radical implications of Oneness in which he said ''in another life you will be mentally retarded''. This is the life he was talking about, and I can't do anything to change this situation... why am I even living? Can I do anything at all to change this situation?

I decided to do psychedelics. My reasons, I have autism , inferiority complex, existential curiosity, internet addiction, too many desires and many other things, so I want to overcome these problems (yeah I know autism can't be cured, but I think it can be helped). I want to ask : In what country are they legal? are they expensive? what magic mushrooms or other psychedelics should I do? Where to find them (legally)? How many times should I try them and how long till i try them every new time? Will they help my problems? can i travel alone and do them? how much dose? What should i think or do while I am under their influence? Any other thing I should be worried about? Thank you in advance

My father became a gambler these past , I don't know, maybe 8 months. We just learned yesterday as a family that he has lost a huge fortune of money that was in common bank account with my mum. My sister is going to give birth in few days and she is thinking of leaving the house faster than she would. The whole family and the husband of my sister told him to stop playing these games, I said to him to go to a center that helps gamblers. All my father said was that he will stop he just wants to play one last time, which is ridiculous. You don't play one time, if you play one time you play again and again. He doesn't want to go to a center or to a psychologist or psychiatrist, he thinks he doesn't have a problem. My mother made her own bank account cause we know that gamblers may steal money , in some sense he already did that with the common bank account. You have to be really low IQ not to know that you can't win in gambling and yet he thinks he can make money. I can't see my father anymore it's too painful, he is addicted, I can't see an addicted person that doesn't want to help himself and he may end up homeless some day. He lost a ridiculous amount of money. I have a million problems in my life like being autistic, this is the last thing I imagined I would have. What can I do?

@Joseph Maynordrawing. But it's ok , I accepted many things in life are out of my ability cause of my unusal brain. It was a long journey before I accept this hurtful insight. I now pursue informatics and do drawing as a hobby.

Do you have any experience of this? if yes how to stop it?

how you spent your time on it?

@Ulaxwhat kind of goals help with anhedonia? Any example would help

@Ulaxit's hard to ignore a troll but you are right.

now we have one brain cell and incel penis. Nice, please continue, we need to have more self awareness and you help a lot. Not much you say? i see. Thank you for the productive conversation, it was really amazing to talking to you. Next time don't spent time to talk to people like us since we are all these stuff, spent your time more wisely and go support Clancy like mostly women do outside the court.

we are incels, cucks, ''excited to kill a woman'' as you said, and now we are fucking retards. What else are we? enlighten us.

@Elliott 3 babies are no longer alive, you really care about the motive? have you completely lost the plot? anyway, if you support her and I don't, there really isn't any reason for us to have a conversation, cause we see things differently in fundumental matters. It's like one person believes 1+1=2 and another 1+1=5, you can't reason with such people. Of course from your point of view I am the one that believes 1+1=5 and from my point of view you are the one.

@Elliottsounds like an excuse. Have a nice day, bye.

Maybe all the people that commit crimes are insane and have psychological and mental problems, but if society itself wasn't insane , it wouldn't use this as an excuse. It's an excuse only when women do it. People that support her women and men (but it's mostly women as far as I know) are dangerous and it's good when they do it publicly cause then you know who you have to avoid. This world is so gynocentric that we will see many more incidents before something changes for the better if it ever does. But of course in gynocentric society all you have to do is call somebody an incel, this ad hominem is funny cause it implies that there is something wrong with being an incel. It's like calling a woman cat lady but of course there is no shame in being a cat lady. I won't be surprised if she wil be found innocent or she will get 6 years or something. I have heard worse outcomes than this. Some people woke up after this incident but let's be honest, gynocentrism will be alive forever. @Elliott I hope she succeed this time.

We have a lot of fun in life (hopefuly). But having fun is very different from living a high purpose, or having a great meaning. Does anything have a purpose and a meaning at all? What's the point of being an Olympic athlete, an actor, a programmer, an artist, of making children, of being social activist and the list goes on and on. It seems like there is no higher purpose. Yes there is meaning and someone can have fun and improve life , but I don't see higher meaning or higher purpose. What do you think?

I want to see how many people in this forum believe in determinism or free will. If someone believes in both it's not a problem but personally I don't see how this can be the case. Even if randomness exist and everything is not predetermined, still that doesn't mean there is free will, it's just luck I suspect. So people of this forum, do you have free will? This is a question of curiosity, not a metaphysical serious topic, that's why I put it on this thread. Personaly I vote for determinism

my father had this and unfortunately in order to stop the addiction he replaced it with other addictions. I don't know how I can help but I would suggest to go to a community (a center maybe?) about addictions, in which people talk about this stuff. That's what my psychologist suggested to my father at least.

maybe I should have put it on the intellectual thread. Facepalm

If we found a way that communism works fine, do you believe is good or bad? The way I see it it's good, because it's actually everyone has the same money with other people. Why would someone be against this? I don't know anything about communism or capitalism, I am completely cluless, so I try to understand better. Maybe I am wrong , maybe I am right, I don't know (I want to learn).

I think I am one of those men, can't learn game for various brain reasons, no humour etc. . I think I will focus on art, languages and becoming 10% body fat (which may never happen) . Do you really think a ''loser'' can find a gf? I don't think so. It wasn't meant to happen to me, determinism is cruel . If things could improve it would be different, but they can't. I wish I could cry to feel better, but it doesn't come out, LOL. Please note, the advice ''learn game'' doesn't work for me cause my brain is wired differently and I have low IQ. People also tell me I have no low IQ just low self confidence. No, I have low IQ, I know it, I can see it, it's so sad that some people have low IQ. That's why I want to know if reincarnation is real, so I go to the next life, but I am so coward I am going to stay and live this life till the end. I am not a pessimist, I am a realist, if I was high IQ I would not have a problem telling it or keeping it to myself. I really needed to vent. Do you think dying a virgin is a big problem? Are any of you in the same position? how do you cope? Thank you for all the support and answers you give me all this time, this forum is amazing and helpful, thank you so much. Just saying.

@HojoI am too coward to suicide anyway, I decided to live my life till the end of this perspective.

Idealizing women makes me unnatractive to them. Also it makes me so anxious I forget how to talk and can't look them in the eyes or face in general. How to stop this? Also is it true that the more experience you have with women the less you think they are goddesses and you become more relaxed when you are with them and thus you are more attractive? If yes, how do I get experience if I find them so attractive I can't talk to them? When I see an unattractive woman I have no problem talking to her with ease. I even become bored talking to her pretty quickly. But when I find a woman attractive even if everyone finds her unnatractive I am filtering everything i say at least 5 times and I end up saying nothing and I don't know what they think, they probably think I am weirdo or that I am a snob that doesn't even talk to some people. This life is so hard for me honestly pfff.

@Leo GuraIf someone suicides, will this affect his next life in negative ways? also how long does it take to be born in the next life after death?

that valuable things take time. This is the most important thing that I learned that gave meaning to my life. Then that everything is One so I am everyone and you are everyone.

I think at 40 you are already at the end of attractiveness, with peak 25-35, 25 being the best, 35 being good and then declining, 40 being at the end.