Never_give_up

My eating disorder has gone out of control. It seems that I take back all the weight I lost. The reason of my addiction is boredom but I can't replace it with anything. Therapists can't help me, I already see one. Could it be that focusing on my breath will make my mind not being focused on the addiction? I post this here because the problem is more about the addiction than the awakening meditation topic. Although I wouldn't mind to know anything mystical that could come out of meditation. Thank you

Or some things don't have an answer cause they are paradox? I think I am going crazy the more I contemplate and imagine possible answers to some difficult existential/consciousness questions I have. The more I think of these questions and my mind only sees paradox without any answer, the more I get confused and tired and can't relax. It's like my mind just can't let go of what it doesn't understand. Today it got so bad that I felt kind of depressed with this situation. Do everything has an answer or I am wasting my time and should just accept that sometimes there is no answer cause for some mysterious reason, things don't make any sense... ? I am so sad with this situation.... I need to know.... Thank you in advance

I am very good at contemplation and deep thinking in general. I am not good at meditation, can't do psychedelics (at least for now). Any advice?

I think I will never be with a girlfriend Is it a number's game? If I meet new people everyday for a long time, will I be able to meet friends and a girlfriend? Like will I have 1 or 2 friends and one girlfriend every 1000 people I meet and try to connect?

There is a guy that everytime he sees me he says bad words about me so I can hear them and then laughs like he heard the most hilarious joke. I can see through his insecurities. No happy person would go to such length to make someone feel bad. That's not my problem. I also know what to do next time this occurs and he is not going to like it. This is not about what to do or what's wrong with him. This is about me. Why this insult makes me angry and feel worthless? Why I can't just laugh with it as I usally do with these kind of people? I thought I had improved my personality so much that these things didn't affect me anymore(and most times they don't) but everytime he laughs like this it gets to me. Like, what exactly makes me so irritated and feeling so worthless that I can't ignore low consciousness people like him? It makes me feel like I can't control my own emotions which is weird cause no one can make me feel bad at least longer than a minute, if it's not something serious. But this time, something that isn't serious at all, makes me feel worthless... why? Most of the time I feel a worthy person, but when I sometimes remember those instances with this low consciousness person, it makes me feel worthless for some moments.

@manuel bonI think the moment they come here they are illegal. Or perhaps when you do them it's illegal. I definitely will check if it can be done, thank you. @Alex_R I think that would be the Netherlands. I will actually check it, I am getting more serious day by day.

@Clarencethank you!

@integration journeyMy intend is: To overcome my very severe deep traumas. understand humans cause I feel I have make deep distinctions between myself and others like I am not like others because I am inferior and/or superior or that I just am not like others (probably I am a narssicist to an extend) so I want this illusion that destroyes my life to stop. I want to undestand a little about the nature of reality because I always wanted to know what this is about. And honestly, I just want to see a new world that I feel drawn to. I go to psychotherapy and I haven't been helped to the extend I want. @Tristan12I live in Greece. If there is a way to get them here I definitely don't know that way @ClarenceI think Netherlands probably is the first destination to go. Do you have any tips of what magic truffles to get, or any advice on how to do the whole proccess? @M A J II don't know how to grow or find to grow and honestly I don't want trouble with the law, especially since in the future I am going to leave this country behind. Also I am not sure they grow in my country and I am little scared of picking the wrong one that could be poisonous if I make a mistake.

I live in a country where I can't find any psychedelics. I think I have to travel abroad to have an experience with them. I wish I could do thousand trips but that's impossible cause I would have to go abroad 1000 times. I don't know where to go, maybe holland? maybe mexico for ayahuasca? I don't know, but I am starting to be serious about it and I never had any experience with psychedelics before. Thank you everyone that will answer this questions

At 12/31/24 night I am going to a club cause it's a modern tradition to have fun the day that the year changes. I have grabed the attention in a bad way from my cringe dancing in the past. I absolutely love dancing but I look very strange when I do it. It even makes some people smile almost laughing but I am afraid it may make people confused, like they can't even comprehend why my dancing is so strange to the point they don't know if something is seriously wrong with me. I have like 5 years to go to a club but when I did and did dance some people were laughing. I suspect half of them were laughing because they were jealous of me having too much fun moving, while they were like statues and half of them were laughing because I was indeed dancing in a cringe way. The only positive thing is that I am really short, and if the popular opinion is true, there is a tendency that short people are less clumsy than average/tall people when dancing. I feel like that I will humiliate myself if I dance freely. Should someone dance even if he looks cringy and people laugh at him or should he stop cause it's humiliating? Or perhaps a middle solution like: be free to dance how you want but not too free that it becomes too weird. If you do that then it's ok if people laugh , you are within the safe limits of unusal behaviour. I dance almost exclusively for myself, but since there is a component of wanting to have fun with the opposite sex in dancing, I put this in dating topic.

I get it(intellectually) that I am the only thing in the universe and everyone and everything is my imagination. I get it that this is all a dream. What I don't understand is, if I am the only thing that exists, are others my past or future lives or it doesn't matter what happens to them, because you(me) are not going to experience their lives anyway? Will I experience their lives. If I make them feel bad, will I feel it in another live from the perspective of the person that felt bad or this perspective will never become real? Bonus question: if I experience people from another perspective, is there a way to know if they are my past life or my future life?