ambush

@LordFall This would be ideal, I just have a feeling that I am overestimating my ability to make that money as soon as I would like. I suppose if I did become fully occupied with business art could just be a hobby and something for myself.

@Joseph Maynor Because I would rather go all in on one or the other than try to do both and get half assed results. I do not have shame necessarily if I did just focus on wealth and forget about art for a while, it's just that I would be taking a different path than the one I initially thought. Almost selling out? Hard to articulate I guess.

I have recently started reading the book "How to Get Rich" by Felix Dennis, courtesy of Leos book list. I have never actually put any real effort into making money besides working a job like most people. So far the book is quite interesting and I like the way the author writes. At one point he lists a bunch of reasons why you should put down the book because in his words "you will never get rich". One of those reasons is "If you have artistic inclinations and fear that the search for wealth will coarsen such talents or degrade them, you will never get rich (because your fear, in this instance, is well justified)". When I first saw that I re read it like 5 times for whatever reason and now it's got me stuck a little. I'll be honest and tell you that I am not some well practiced artist of any kind really, that said, I have interest in writing and creating stories. This business stuff isn't really my forte but I see it more as as means to a secure life then something I do for fun which is creativity. I have recently bought the life purpose course, and although I am pretty sure writing is the thing I am meant to do, I am gonna do the life purpose course anyways because I trust in the value it can bring to my life. All this to say, It feels as if the author is basically telling me I must throw all that shit out the window if I want to get rich. I was wondering, those of you who have got rich, what is your experience with this. Do you feel like you are too busy to pursuit creative things? Is it one or the other? Can I have my cake and eat it too? haha.

Alone at night Mind is racing Sending thoughts aflight Darkness greets my eyes Unsettling and awry A night sky with no stars No bars of saturn nor a red mars All thoughts are my own Alone, at large Small fear takes shape Awareness preventing my escape Restless, inquiring within A light, shines upon me Infinity, inner divinity abounds strikes at emptiness Fear inverted, hope is found Loss is gained on holy ground A lonely night turned around Comfort in infinity I have found

@Inliytened1 No, I can’t say for sure I have realized first hand I am God, but I do trust Leos work and the fact that he’s not alone in his conclusions also gives a lot of credibility to me. And you’re absolutely right it has given me some nihilistic perspectives. I think I overlooked the outcome of taking things as belief rather than experiencing it firsthand. Because if I did experience it firsthand, I likely wouldn’t have these frustrations. Leo always puts the disclaimer that you shouldn’t believe him and you should find out for yourself haha and I get why he says that but now it seems more appropriate than before.

@Hojo this is very interesting, you make a good point. I do find myself wishing I had some sort of Life-contract or whatever you hear about in NDE reports and what not. But that probably is conditioning and just another layer of illusion right? I’ll work on getting past the frustration.

So I have noticed a recurring thought over the past maybe 2 years or so. I’ve been listening to Leo's work for 6-7 years now, and while I have certainly had a good amount of experiences with psychedelics, I have also learned quite a lot from just actualized.org alone. I’ve always been contemplative but LSD is what started this journey for me because it's what made me realize God is real, being a former super atheist who used to make fun of thiests. Anyways, I believe that my first LSD trip could have been a first hand experience with God consciousness. I remember feeling something indescribable while peaking. I remember thinking that I wanted to feel like that forever. My friend was there too and we were both outside in his backyard. All I could say was “Greg?” I’ve still never quite had a feeling like that, but I can’t say for sure it was a peak of God consciousness. I’m getting to the point now, basically, and this is in no way a diss to Leo’s work or actualized.org. But the knowledge that I am actually God has in a way discouraged me from seeking out guidance. It’s like, when I'm having dark moments, I want to be able to conjure or seek out some sort of source that can help me, but I don’t because… I am God, and everything else is just me. So, why would I do that? I had this sort of insight where it feels like I got the ending of a movie spoiled for me, and now I’ve lost all desire to watch it. If that makes sense. The sucky part is that I am God but at the same time I have no idea what I am doing, and it feels like the power of God isn’t being used right. In the “Explaining paranormal phenomena” video, Leos talks about channeling aliens and other things and how these things are actually possible and people do them. I think that’s cool and would like to try, but then the wind is sort of taken out of my sails because I remember I am God and what could an alien possibly tell me that is more of a mindfuck than that? It’s funny though, because I realize that I am literally asking you all for help/thoughts/input right now. So maybe I am missing something here. Any thoughts are appreciated. If this post is too long please let me know.

@Yimpa what makes you say that?

@xAkachan do you still do this?

Im concerned for my friend. I know this isn’t exactly a deep topic but can anyone give their insight into where he might be? Has he become infinity? Or is he stuck in some kind of hell-realm or what have you that you see described in NDE’s. Im unattached to any religion but I am still pretty lost on the whole afterlife thing. I know its probably not something you can put into words. Im probably gonna take this post down, but If anyone had any insight it’d be appreciated.