People here take this forum for granted. They post everything it comes to mind without thinking that their replies could actually cause harm to others. Even if someone is a "Pussy" as Noself said you won't make that user be more masculine by talking like a jerk to him. We should try to be more understanding of others. Me personally if I think I can't help somebody I keep my mouth shut. 

I try to select the most mature and wise people that I see here. But over years their behavior can also change, as was the case with NoSelfSelf. His behavior seemed to devolve over the years, or maybe I just didn't know him well enough from the start. Frankly his case is so rare I've barely had to deal with something like this before. I almost never feel a need to demote a Mod. Usually Mods leave on their own because they have other stuff going on outside the forum that is more important.

Not necessarily. Untruthful and insincere things can be said in a fit of anger. Anger speaks out of hurt and often tries to say anything to hurt another, without any consideration for truth.

I traveled a few places outside my country and learned a lot from it. It's generally an eye-opener to see how different countries operate differently in terms of traffic rules, crowds, housing arrangements, mannerisms, ethics, technology, cultural biases, social dynamics and work culture. It's fascinating. It's amusing how people are shaped by their cultures. 
 

😂
 
 
back to topic, your current pic is cute, is it for experiment to see how much attention you get @Candle?

@Candle but that’s an inspiring sharing, thank you.

.

What is one-pointed  focus? 
When everyone is asleep or busy in bs, you are working silently on your projects. You are alone. But confident. 
When the whole world was asleep, Ambani was building Reliance Jio. And when they launched it, everything changed. It was such a revolution.... 
No matter how insignificant your work (let's say, reading a book) seems today, you are still doing it. Everything will be counted in the end. 
You have no idea what's going on in the world and HOW ENORMOUS this world is. It's incredible !!! What's happening in China and Korea? See their tech advancements. 

I had some asperger spectrum syndrome when i was younger but it was quite mild and i just became purely neurotypical as i got older for some reason.
Nevermind.

When you are a kid you ask why why why why because your mind is constructing your world by doing this. They are gone now because you already made assumptions on what they are and concrete the ideas in the body over and over again.
Feelings in children are much more rich because they are not attached to language the qualia does exist but as a qr code for the mind essentially. When you take the qr code and label it to an object you lose the essence of the qr code and everything that your mind can pick up from it.
 

I hear you and it seems weird when I say it, I know. We are here living our lives and relating to our stories and experiencing things and talking in stories about those things. Sure, I have stories too; stories make up our world and our reality. 
Now, if I'm having a problem with a particular story, I've learnt to stop telling that story. If you notice, and especially in this case, I said stop referring to the story in question. Not to stop telling stories. 
I've noticed here that the narratives I tell myself about a situation has nothing to do with the situation itself. So, I've tested it in real life. So, something happens, I start to put my two cents in (mentally/ideas about it), then the test comes. I drop the narrative, and the situation turned out completely different than what I was telling myself (which is usually negative, BTW, because of how the mind works and it's survival mechanisms). 
I'll just give a random example. I call someone, they don't answer. The mind automatically starts to narrate on why the person didn't answer. They're ignoring me, they're busy, they didn't see it or whatever. I call again, they answer, I don't ask why they didn't answer the first time, I just get straight to why I called. The story was about what I thought about them not answering - it's irrelevant and complicates things.
Another example and to the OP's concern. I'm with a guy and he keeps looking at other girls. I start to feel jealous and saying I'm not good enough while he could be looking at them for the sole reason that he just loves to admire women but only loves me. Idk, I'm guessing, but our relationship is very good and I'm happy. Why go into the stories on why he keeps looking at women and how I'm jealous. That's my problem because looking at other women is the same as looking at other men or a building. Whatever is going on in his head is not my business. Do you get the drift, we live our lives in stories and ideas about life and not what's actually happening. We self-sabotage by our stories and ideas about what's happening. Just as you get nervous when you see a message. It's the story behind the message without seeing the message that you're reacting to. That's living in stories and responding to our mind's ideas, not what's actually happening. It creates anxiety and confusion and puts us in states that we don't want to be in unnecessarily. 

It's largely because we live in a world that's run by men, and testosterone often doesn't vibe well with self-compassion quite as much as estrogen does.

Also masturbation feels like such a chimp thing to do, while observing it and while doing it, and we like to keep up the illusion that we're not chimps, so we don't like talking about it.

I beat depression 2 months ago when I started doing psychedelics.
I've lived my entire life at an intense level of self-awareness but wasted it on overthinking and obeying expectations.
After high school I wasted 3 years until now on wage slavery in a super market, I was so depressed that I didn't even spend it on anything so now I have resources to invest into myself. I could work at SpaceX or study neuroscience or craft bionic limbs or study neural networks but I have noticed how terrible most jobs and universities are and I can really just learn it all through contacting and freelancing experts and ChatGPT, the internet, Wikipedia, research websites and passion. I want to buy an RV in the future and roam Europe or find a holistic open-minded psychedelic community around the world to live in, be a part of, find love and friendships, be accepted as I am, study all domains of human knowledge in an open discourse and be happy. I want to fully tap into every possible emotion, every variation of perception, every state of mind and slowly integrate it into myself so that eventually I can just enter a psychedelic state naturally and I already integrated many of the insights I made on my last dozen trips into my life to a beautiful degree. I was the most introverted person on this planet until now, so I learned all kinds of philosophies, epistemology and absorbed much knowledge, but I was in the wrong state of mind to be able to integrate and enjoy living by it. I already knew what I needed to do but lacked faith in my own reasoning ability and respect for myself as an individual.
The pillars I just came up with to describe how I fundamentally perceive reality are:
Awareness: The mere fact of experiencing reality unfold and being aware of oneself doing it, that behind the senses consciously continuously existing.
Qualia: Colors, shapes, sensory information, anything that is directly accessible instead of having to be inferred or interpreted from abstract interactions.
Emotion: Meaning, empathy, desire, drive, direction. Preferring one state over another. The capability of experiencing the world through body and feeling.
Perspective: Interpreting and evaluating certain circumstances through a specific lens. Creating specific distinctions to analyze the world with.
Perspectives are arbitrary, they come from a certain grounding but truly there is no right one, everything is infinitely interpretable. Awareness and Qualia are pure First Order phenomena. Emotion comes from a lens but is deeply connected to the body so it's tricky. Perspective is second order, it's how you do science creating models, but it's all just interpretation of your observation, which under psychedelics you can actively see the ability of being able to morph into anything.
I know I will find many here with the objective to find absolute truth or harm-reduction disclaimers, but I'm really just looking for topics for me to contemplate and accept my understanding of while in a state of being emotionally and sensory in tune and being able to make the most out of it while having an elevated perspective. I have many desires and preferences, I want to burn through my karma, I want to connect with others, whether they're illusory or not and I haven't truly understood and embodied that proposed insight. I want love and peace, I am nostalgic to the hippy movement of the 60s. I want to learn all about humanity and science. I want to be selfish and selfless, but always myself, whichever that happens to be. I want understanding, I want stimulation, I want experience, I want love, I want to be in tune and use my body and learn its capacities, I want to increase my emotional awareness, I want to refine my reasoning and epistemological understanding. I think to understand Duality and the creation of distinctions and Non-Duality being the infinite undivided field of qualia though I've yet to deeper contemplate its creation and manifestation mechanics. I want someone to talk to and listen to their insights too. I don't want to be alone, I feel existential loneliness, I've felt it my entire life. It is an authentic part of my identity, it existed long before I knew how to communicate. I may be able to let go of it but of of love I never think I will. I am an artist and will create an audiovisual animation at some point which many characters, each a protagonist, each a core aspect of human desire and each filled with life and personality seeking what they lack the most. And it means.

Check out Daz Smith on YouTube 

In 12 days I lost about 10 pounds.
Most folks got 10 pounds to spare.

This is a great idea.
I've done a 12 day water fast. It's challenging but doable.

That's normal.
Yes, essentially Freudo-Lacanian psychoanalysis, a bit of Jung, non-duality, and notions of neuroendocrinology; and i end up articulating all that to create a more or less holistic personalized jargon.
Razard, breaking the wall, keryo koffa and people like that think more quickly than me.
Leo is lazier, closer to us or even worse lol, and doesn't hesitate to essentially make little responses, often provocative or even trollish.
 

This was quite obvious to me when you said you can hurt someone and feel no guilt if......you'd be surprised how we carry over stuff and take it out on others that has nothing to do with our pain. It's not the person that hurt you either, it's just pain finding itself a resting spot and we latch on to it with our timelines. 

There aren’t many philosophers exploring the ideas of love, at least not as many as those exploring other topics. As a beginner, I came across Erich Fromm and his book The Art of Love. It delves into the idea and meaning of love, and I really enjoyed it, agreeing with much of what he wrote.
One of the main ideas in the book is that love is about giving, not being. You don’t “fall” in love, you are in love. Fromm explains that giving isn’t physical, like gifts, but rather giving of oneself with your time, effort, care, and attention. An important aspect is that one should give without expecting anything in return. This makes sense to me, and I agree with it in theory, but my own experience has taught me differently and left me confused.
I’m 22 years old and a little over two weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. Naturally, I started analyzing why. Without going into too much detail I enjoyed giving to her, as I should, without expecting anything in return. But after a few months I found myself expecting at least a thank you, which I did get most of the time. That’s beside the point though. The issue was that I felt like I was giving far more than I was receiving, perhaps 80/20 with me doing the majority.
I still enjoyed giving and didn’t think too much of it initially but over time I started feeling frustrated because I wasn’t getting much back. Unconsciously, I began resenting her which led to me no longer enjoying our time together. I didn’t feel like giving as much anymore and things quickly fell apart. Looking back, I don’t even miss her much. According to Fromm, true love doesn’t perish, so I suppose it wasn’t love.
To sum up, I’d like to understand one thing. Was I wrong to expect something in return when loving someone? Or did I do what I was supposed to, but the other person just wasn’t the right one for me?
 

Yes, this def happens.
But what you have to understand about society is that it is a filtration system which uses sheer ambition and tenacity to filter people. To reach the top you will not be given a red carpet, you will have to slit throats, crush spines, and stab hearts. It's not enough to be skilled or educated or developed, you need that killer instinct and supernatural will to success and power. You have to want it bad enough to endure hell. Otherwise you will just be average.

That's a difficult challenge but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and will make the best of it.
Health challenges can grow and mature you a lot. They tend to strip away the fantasies real quick.
Hang in there and keep us posted.

Here’s an interesting perspective on how intuition is never wrong.
 
https://www.instagram.com/p/CbIebZXOb6P/?igsh=MTl1ZmdxZDRoYm44Ng==

The strongest mindset there is out there is having faith in God and His Absolute Wisdom in all the adversities He sends to you to make you stronger and wiser; And having faith that every adversity is for your own benefit not against you, and you grow from them; And because God is Absolute Goodness there is no evil in him and in what he does.
In the end all the adversities and challenges you go through are gonna pay off for you and are kept recorded somewhere in the universe and will be compensated for; Nothing will ever be lost; You're gonna be rewarded much more than you are able to think for the difficulties you go through.
Nobody can claim a stronger mindset than this which guarantees you your peace and strength in difficult times even if you cry all the way through it with this faith you're unshakable in the end everytime.

Hey! Yeah, no - limerence can really be a bitch haha.
First, I’d say evaluate what type of limerence it is. If it’s just something that easily passes, don’t feed into it too much, and you’ll be fine. Think of all the crushes or people you’ve obsessed about—now they’re probably just a pleasant or silly memory that doesn’t even come to mind. However, if you see yourself getting more and more attached, then I’d say ideally initiate some contact and see if it’s reciprocated. Limerence doesn’t have to be bad at all; it can also be a potential for friendship, relationships, etc.
However, if you feel like your chances of being rejected are high or you simply can’t put the time or effort into it, then realize that. Use it as fuel to improve yourself (a lot of self-improvement comes from unrequited love, by the way, teehee), or realize that you’re deliberately choosing not to engage with them because of some reason: whether it’s needing time, work, or something else. That way, you still gain some sense of consciousness and control over the situation. You can even reach out to them again when you’re ready. This approach, I’ve found, helps me not think about them as much because I’ve kind of outsourced it to “some other time.”
Also, many people who experience limerence find that once they meet or properly talk to the person, they realize the connection or idol worship they built up in their head was meaningless, and it fades away on its own. You can read Reddit stories or watch videos/shorts about people sharing similar experiences. Here’s a good one: https://youtu.be/h7eev7RgIzw?si=DDDoAsqD3YnmyIlc&t=739.
Now… if it’s 100% parasocial and unrequited, then I’d say carefully evaluate what actually draws you to them. With limerence, there’s this strange kind of ego that develops -- putting them on a pedestal, feeling worthless, or thinking you “need” them for whatever reason. If you carefully examine which parts of them you’re drawn to or need, and begin to integrate those traits into yourself, that can help. Not only will it help you improve yourself (since you were attracted to those traits for a reason, meaning you likely desire them in yourself), but it will also make you more aware of the qualities you prefer and enjoy in others. Then, the next time you spot those traits in someone, that person might reciprocate your feelings.
 
I’ve had periods of strange limerence where I would mirror or indulge in their traits through whatever means, and once I’d “exhausted” it or felt like I’d integrated enough, my limerence lessened significantly or disappeared completely. Basically, ask yourself: Is it how attractive they are? Do I need to work on my own looks? Do they have a certain type of aesthetic? Maybe I enjoy that aesthetic or I’m inspired by how well-refined they are, so I want to embody that too in my own way. You need to ask yourself: What kind of person would I have to be so that I don’t need them anymore? What traits do I need to integrate into myself to stop feeling inferior and putting them on a pedestal? What actual experiences, impacts, or reactions do I need to have to feel satisfied?
Alternatively, limerence can also be disrupted by developing limerence for another person. I’d say 9/10 of these experiences mostly come from a lack of experience with people or not meeting enough of them. When you meet one slightly more put-together human, they stand out to you. But there are plenty of beautiful, amazing people out there, and some will actually reciprocate your interest—you just need to get out there. A big chunk of my own “limerencing” experiences got canceled out when I met other people, hopping from one to the next. At this point, I almost look forward to it because it gives me more motivation, self-understanding, and personal growth. But you need to get to the point where you realize this for yourself. You’ll get there by simply meeting more people. When you’ve only met one “10/10” person by your standards, it’s so much easier to get hyper-attached, whereas if you’ve met 100 of them, it’s a completely different experience.
Another way to address it is by looking deeper into yourself and your goals. The very fact that you can afford to think about someone else in such a prolonged manner shows that you’re not focusing enough on yourself and what you can do. That’s why it’s easier to engage with someone else’s beauty than to build your own. This is probably the most practical thing to do because when you improve yourself, you’ll gain more confidence to approach others, and you’ll feel more assured that your interest will be reciprocated. Plus, you’ll spend more time thinking about your own projects, health, and care, leaving less space for limerence and idolizing others. On top of that, the brain pattern of putting others on a pedestal will fade more and more as you upgrade your confidence.
Finally, if all else feels exhausting, consider therapy or simply find ways to give yourself more love however you can. You will never be able to escape yourself, so you might as well love yourself instead of spending all your fascination on someone who will never properly receive it. Think of people who perhaps loved you, but you didn’t care much for—no matter how much they gave you, it probably didn’t have the impact they wanted.
I really hope this helps in some way. These things truly do pass over time, but they can feel miserable and take a while. The best way forward is to seek genuine, reciprocated connections, which you can only find by upgrading yourself, knowing who you are and what you want, and then putting yourself out there to find those people. It really is a numbers game: expose yourself to as many experiences and people as possible, and you’ll find meaningful connections. This will keep you grounded even if you experience limerence again. It’s ultimately about self-confidence and self-love, and while those things aren’t simple to fix or build immediately, they are worth working on.

People cannot even being to comprehend what horrors reality has in store for you.
Whatever happiness you have, cherish it, because it can be gone in a flash.
I do not teach unconditional happiness any more because it is a fantasy.