Howtolive

That’s exactly what happened/happens to me. I look at my surroundings and sometimes get the feeling of being „to present“. Like before I was imbedded into somekind of stories I viewed the world threw. But now it just seems to be me and this building for example. I am just here standing here. It is indeed a freaky feeling. I never knew what it was but your explanation hit the nail on the head ! I text you a PM.

I have now often heard that enlightenmnet is more natural for woman. But I dont get that statement at all. From my experience woman are often are further away when it comes to facing reality. I see them often more going for what feels good instead of the raw truth. I am not saying that to be judgemental but isn't that in the way of getting enlightent? Also it seem like that woman are more followers by nature. So they like being more in set up system instead of really questioning the ongoing system. Also @Leo Gura said in one post that they are more easlie influenced. Also the tendency that woman like to work much more with emotions which tend to get a biased view on reality. Wouldnt a woman who conquers all her fears etc be also more masculine? Thanks !

Men in our society today are the most likely to feel compared to other societys in history . I would definitely say there is also biological factors at play. Men know intrinsically that showing weakness can cause less survival potential because of setting one self in a lower hirachy. So I believe its both.

yeah I agree. Just in connection to enlithentment it seems like you only need the feminin energy for that ?

Okey interesting. Would you say this lust for being authoritarian is coming from a lack or from a joy ? Because I can it feeling in me coming from a lack often. My question is, is that feeling if lack maybe needed for men to get to these authoritarian positions ?

Hello everybody, I would love to get some help organising my thoughts/experiences and hopefully get some clearer view. I started working on my inner self emotions etc 10 months ago. The programm I did was not only about emotions but also a lot about the concept of ego. To realise one owns ego and how to deal with emotions etc. I learned some good techniques and got some better insights but a lot of the stuff I learned about spirituality in that programm were confusing me. I think looking back the teacher probably also started mixing different topics. Because this confused me so much I started to go deeper into spirituality and get some clearer views. That worked partly but also the phenomenon that one questions leads to more questions also appeared. It got to a peak after my first ever LSD trip. I only did a small does off about 50ug. But this still was very strong for me. During the trip the questions arrived: "What is the actual real reality"? . This question scared me because the reality during my trip looked rather dark and depressing. Probably because I was dripping mostly at night. Shortly after the trip I was very sceptic about the stuff I learned in my previous programm. So I went more and more into hardcore non duality teachings wich eventually led me to the JedMcKenna books. At one point of reading I remember feeling something like a super strong existential fear popping up. My hole body got very heavy and some sort of depressed feeling started kicking in ( I was very scared because I never had these feeling before). Couple weeks after I managed to have a little bit of an emotion release and the hole depression feelings lifted off. Some is still left. I can feel this feelings especially in the evening. It feels like me being confused and a little depressed in a mix. Maybe you have some advice of what happened to me here exactly? I have the feeling there is still something "stuck" from the book within me. Also I had one good experience with an emotional release, I am still very analytical when it comes to understanding emotions/spirituality/non duality/ personal development. Here are some general questions that confused me: -"You can only be really happy in the now.. ": Really? what if I am hungry? I am currently more happy after I eat something when being hungry. It also feels like this kind of believe keeps me from having goals. One part why humans have goals is because they feel good when reaching them. Of course after that an empty feeling might accrue. But to say reaching goals will not make you happy.. I am not so sure. -"Only observe never react..": I can clearly see how a lot of the reactions we have to emotions keep us unconscious. But I also can see some benefits of reacting to emotions. In a fight or flight scenario the body reacts to emotions and stress to survive. Also laughing about a joke could be seen as a reaction. I reacted to the emotions and thats why I laughed. Lastly it feels very exuathing to really observe everything all the time. Maybe the autopilot we have is not so bad. We just have to create a useful autopilot? -Lot of spiritual/emotional teachers seem to lack a clear set of values. I dont ever see them talking about their value hierarchy. I mostly hear them saying that they will just decide in the present moment... Okey so ? How does that help with the learning of ethics or morals? On the contrary I see a lot of spiritual people believing in moralistic relativism ("Ohh there is no right and wrong"). -"Trust and abundance is everything". I see a lot of teachers blaming that fear has no use and as long as we life in trust we do not need to worry about anything because life has our backs. The teacher from my programm claimed that he lives fully in financial abundance. Often his bank account is close to zero but somehow magically money always seem to flow in when he needs something (a new customer in his programm, some money from govement, some donation ....). Has the fear really no purpose? is 100% trust really the answer to all the problems ? -"Violence is bad. We only want to life harmonious" I often see spiritual teachers dismissing that in order for harmony to exist some concentrated force/violence is needed. For example peace in society is only possible because we outsourced violence to the police. So in my eyes violence needs to be integrated not dismissed. -"you are not your thoughts and emotions". This also seems highly confusing to me.. Yes I can feel all of them but I want to still be an individual that has certain thoughts and feelings and belives. Otherwise having an identity as only the "watcher" seem rather crazy to me A lot of stuff I know. But maybe you see a meta pattern that is affecting all my questions? I am still a little lost with all this information so I really appreciate some insights. Thanks for reading !!

sorry but to me that does not sounds healthy at all. I really hope you get your sexdrive back. Secondly I have the impression that you have to much of that post modern view that men and woman are only socialist in there differences. Tuff men are needed to have a harmony in a society. Harmonie can only exist because force and violence is concentrated on very specific areas. Like police and military. Also its a biological instinct for men to protect woman and not the other way around. Some roles are good the way they are.

Are you saying there is no differences in the genders ?

on one hand I get what you are saying on the other hand... Men have more masculine energy then woman. It seems like feminine energy gets idealised in that way

Yeah I 100% agree. The jedmcKenna reddit forum is full of toxic people. They may have a better grasp on non duality than the average spiritual seeker. But they completely deny mental suffering/physical suffering, different devolvement stages inside spirituality. The always go super meta and ask: "Who is the one suffering?" Like super unpractical. And I also see a lot of followers actually drown more in nihilism then spirituality. Becuase I read the book after my LSD trip it really took a big hit on me and I had these existential fears coming up. I also think obsessive thinking started to hook itself into that topic. I mostly solved it by one emotional release, declaring clear values for myself and understanding that there are different levels and stages (spiral dynamics video from Leo)

In a sense I get what you mean but on the other hand so far I needed to create a map in my mind which explains all the different kinds of teachings. It helped me understand what is going all. Leo also impacted me by understanding that there are different categories: emotional healing, personality development, spirituality, non duality. Can you tell me how to advance without any teaching ?

I thought one part of enlithendment is giving up all concepts to fully surrender. It seems like to me that this is a very hard challenge for most people but even harder for woman.

Okey I get that. Wouldn't that mean that the masculine side prevents enlithentment? Because masculinity is about strong will, not accepting, moving forward, setting boundaries, having a map of how reality works, being assertive. Isn't that all connected too having an ego ?

by reacting I meant to feel the fear for example instead of going into the mind and spinning loops. not reacting in that way. thank you !

The hungry and happy at the same time is indeed a good example thank you ! I get that stickiness but it also keeps to much distance to myself. For example when meeting somebody on a date. You get warm feelings because you like the person. And then you keep that distance like "nah this is not me just me feeling" yeah okey.. Like then you can never be in love, you can never laugh about a joke and you can never be hungry. you can only feel this feelings. Sounds bad to identify that way to me